10. Aspen

Ten

Aspen

Every night since I started my new job, Boone came by to help me clean up at closing. He’d show up sweaty and exhausted from the day. No matter how much I protested for him to go home and relax, he’d stay until the job was done. As a thanks, I’d make sure to put a blueberry muffin aside for him first thing every morning, so he’d have something to eat. It was the least I could do. Saving a muffin for Boone meant having to sometimes lie to the customers.

Faircloud’s resident grouchy old lady made her way in today, walker and all, asking to buy enough to last the week. She asked for six; however, I only had five sellable ones left. If I’d given up Boone’s, I’d be able to make her dreams come true. That wasn’t a choice I was willing to make. When I told Mrs. Clint I only had five, I felt her stare into my soul and I nearly cracked. I stood my ground though, reminding myself how much Boone needed that damn muffin. Most days by noon, I had none left. They didn’t even sell that quickly at The Coffee Cup in its prime.

The friendship between Boone and I was sparking into something, and I’d been completely blind sided. Hell, I was lying to old ladies to keep him happy. At night, we would sit outside talking and drinking our favorite beverages, his was a Coors Light. Sometimes, when we would run out of things to say, we would sit in silence and stare at the stars. In the mornings, he would be gone before I even woke up, yet that didn’t stop him from sending me texts throughout the day.

Boone: It’s hot as balls out here. I hope you’re enjoying the air conditioning, kinda jealous.

Boone: You better be saving me my muffin. I’ve been thinking about it all day.

Boone: Which dress did you choose today ?

Of course, I would answer, which kept the conversations flowing. On Wednesday, we went grocery shopping together and got dinner out. I knew people were talking. I pretended like I didn’t hear the whispers. The first time we were out in public shook me to my core, yet I couldn’t bring myself to let it ruin my happiness. I liked hanging out with Boone. The earlier opinions I had of him, the womanizing, asshole cowboy had faded away. The Boone I saw now was kind, he made me laugh, and I didn’t feel as on edge around him anymore. I had my nervous moments, like when I’d catch him staring a little longer than usual. Sometimes, I couldn’t help myself, and my mind began to drift, focusing on dirtier thoughts, which would also make me blush, which was getting out of control.

It’d been a week since the swimming hole and we both avoided the topic. Nothing else had happened. Boone was a shameless flirt, yes, but I couldn’t fault him because I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me smile. I thought about that evening often though, whenever he calls me Darling or tells me he likes my dress. The attraction was undeniable and I think he felt it too. Though, us getting that close was a one time thing. I didn’t want it to ruin the comfortability I’d found at Cassidy Ranch. I was happy, and I wouldn’t let my first true heartbreak be Boone Cassidy.

I was wiping down one of the tables when I heard the sound of boots crushing the gravel. Right on time, Boone walked up the small ramp to the door and through the entrance. His heavy cowboy boots made a deep thud as he got closer to me grasping his hat in his hands. I have to say, sweat looked astonishing on that man. His hair was disheveled like he’d been running his fingers from root to tip. The way he smiled, the mustache…

“Please tell me you have a muffin saved for me.” He pulled out a seat at the table next to the one I was cleaning and flopped down with a sigh. His one leg extended and the other bent to hold his khaki cowboy hat.

“Who do you think I am?” I asked, tossing my rag on the table. “I swear Mrs. Clint was going to fight me for it. I think she could sense I was lying when I told her we were sold out. That woman has powers I swear.” I walked around the counter and squatted down to pull out the last muffin from the day. Grabbing the paper bag, I headed back toward Boone. My strawberry pattern sundress swayed with every step. “I held my ground.” I handed him the bag and gave him a big grin. The story pulled a low chuckle from Boone who wasted no time ripping the bag apart and biting into the muffin. A groan came from his throat, my body responded like that noise was meant for me. If I had pearls, I’d be clenching them. Clearing my throat, I ran my hands down the front of my dress.

“Just as good as I imagined.” He placed half of the muffin on the paper bag and licked the blueberry from his fingers. For the love of — I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The way he cleaned his fingers was straight out of an erotica film. I swear time slowed down. “So, once we get cleaned up here, I’ll head home and shower. Should I meet you on your porch? I have some leftovers my mom gave me I’d be willing to share.” Boone stood and shoved the second half of the muffin in his mouth, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“I, ugh,” I took a deep breath trying to regain whatever cool I had left. “I won’t be able to tonight. I’m meeting Penny and Theo at The Tequila Cowboy.” Boone was unfazed and, for some reason, I felt guilty.

“Oh shit, no worries.” He began to clean up. “Let’s get this done so we can get you outta here.” He flashed me a smile. A part of me wanted to cancel, wanted to stay home and spend the night with Boone. I needed this though. I needed to see Theo and Penny to have some fun and be with my girls.

Boone and I finished up, talking like normal throughout the process. When we were done, I closed up and we headed to our own cabins. Boone wished me goodnight and told me not to get into too much trouble.

“I won’t. Trust me. I usually just sit on the sideline and watch Theo and Penny go wild.” I put my hand on my door knob, but felt Boone still standing behind me.

As I turned around to face him, Boone said, “If anyone lays a hand on you, unwanted of course, give me a call.” Like what he said meant nothing, he left without another word making his way towards his cabin.

“Thanks!” I shouted after him, surprisingly enough I was able to form at least one word.

Before I went inside to get ready, I watched him walk away. For whatever reason, thinking about getting with a guy at the bar tonight had zero appeal to me. I was too focused on the ass filling the wrangler jeans of my next door neighbor.

* * *

It’d been a long time since the three of us spent a night out at The Tequila Cowboy. Being with Penny and Theo brought back a lot of memories, good memories.

Over the last few months, we hadn’t talked much. With Penny starting her job at the library and Theo traveling nonstop with photography, I gave up. I stopped reaching out as often and told myself I was okay with the scattered visits or phone calls. I didn’t know if I was throwing myself a pity party because both of my best friends were living the life they wanted as young professionals or if it was because they both seemed established and happy. I always wanted to see my friends succeed which meant this was a “me” problem. I wasn’t happy with myself or my life enough to be a good friend to those I cared about most and that wrecked me.

Being back here, I realized I was far away from “okay” with the way life had been going. Life was short and regret was the last thing I wanted to feel when I woke up with gray hair alone realizing life had flown by.

“To us,” I said, holding up my tequila shot.

Penny and Theo followed suit. “To us,” they said in unison. I closed my eyes and took the shot like a champ, slamming the glass on the bar.

The Tequila Cowboy was the only bar in Faircloud. It was your typical dive bar with bright neon lights, old beer signs, and sticky bar tops. The interior was dingy and old, yet had character. My favorite part was the black and white checkered dance floor that showcased a plethora of boot scuffs.

After finishing her shot, Penny put her glass down and looked around the bar like she was searching for something, or someone. I tried to follow her line of sight, nonetheless, came back unsuccessful. When she caught me, she cleared her throat and brought her attention back to the group.

“Ummm…” I started. “Were we looking for someone?” While giving her a “come on spill” look. Penny huffed and put both her hands on the bar.

“Okay, I’m going to come clean,” she said. “Mac has been coming into the library a lot, and I kinda think he is super hot and was hoping he would be here tonight.”

“Like, Mac Ridley? Like Boone’s friend Mac?” Theo asked.

“Yup,” Penny said, popping the “p” and taking a long pull of her martini. “Look, I just wanted to maybe have a few drinks and get the courage to hook up with him. That’s all.” She put her hands up like she was surrendering. I let out a laugh. The fact Penny needed liquid courage was unbelievable. Penny had any guy she wanted in high school. Even today, she can pull whoever she wants, not to mention her killer personality. My best friend was the whole damn package. She could bat her eyes and any man would fall to his knees. She was five foot two inches of pure sex appeal. Her long chestnut brown hair and skinny figure made her irresistible to nearly every guy. I used to, and sometimes still did, look in the mirror and wish my body would be more like hers. My curves didn’t make me feel “sexy” which was why I wore what I did. Dresses gave me confidence, the fabric was flowy and I could hide a lot more than in tight jeans or a tank top.

“I haven’t seen him yet tonight, but if I do, I’ll make sure to get your attention,” I said with a grin. Penny looked down at her fingers, picking slightly at her nails.

“Theo, what’s been new with you?” Penny asked, dodging the subject.

“Ugh, you know, traveling and working. I’ve seen some amazing places. Here!” Theo took out her phone and started swiping through, showing us the pictures she took and the places she’d been. Whenever Theo talked about her job, her face lit up. No wonder she didn’t come back to Faircloud much, the places she’d seen were beautiful. She didn’t have many ties to this town. Her father passed away when she was young and then they moved here, just her and her mom. Penny and I took her under our wing.

“Speaking of traveling…” Theo says, taking a sip of her drink. “I think I’m done for a while. I plan on sticking around and settling down back home.”

I knew I didn’t hold my poker face very well. She could read the shock on my face. When I glanced at Penny, she wasn’t hiding it very well either. Theo, not wanting to travel? There had to be more to the story, but if she wasn’t ready to share I knew to leave it be. Theo wasn’t the sharing type. Most people described her as cold or standoffish. When you knew the real her, she was anything but.

“Okay…” I started, unsure how to ask her the million questions I had. “Did you want to talk about it?” The question I settled with left it open to her to share what she was comfortable with.

“Soon,” she paused, taking another sip of her drink. “I’m happy we’re doing this. I really needed to see you two.” She held a half smile on her face.

“Whatever you need, we’re here for you,” Penny said, laying her hand on top of Theo’s, I did the same. We sat for a few seconds with our hands touching. I couldn’t for the hell of me come up with an explanation for Theo’s choice. My mind immediately went to something bad. I knew from the look in Penny’s eyes, she thought so too. With time, Theo would share, but until then, we would act like nothing happened.

* * *

The cover band was amazing. Every song they played made all three of us want to get up and dance. We spent most of the time on the dance floor, hugging each other and laughing without a care in the world. I lost count of the amount of drinks I had. We all needed a breather and I really needed a glass of water. Penny, Theo and I took up bar stools on the far end of the bar near the bathroom. Speaking of, I had the sudden feeling that my bladder was full. I excused myself and made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I said I made my way, because everything was swaying slightly. I wasn’t wasted. I was at the sweet spot where I felt amazing and still had control over my actions. When I got into the bathroom, I busted into the first stall.

When the deed was done, I went to the sink and put my palms on the edge. The bathroom was small. It held two stalls and sinks across from them that stood alone.I took a good look at myself in the mirror. My hair was now in a low ponytail, slicked with sweat. My cheeks were a bright rosy color, from being hot and having too much alcohol. I smiled at my reflection. I was happy, carefree and it felt amazing. I’d always put on a happy and brave face, but lately I felt my life was lacking something, lacking excitement or connection. My life at The Coffee Cup was nice, it gave me the freedoms I wanted, but I wanted more. I wanted to own the shop. I wanted to be a business owner and girl boss all on my own.

Instead, I was working at the farm stand. Where did I go from here? Ellie would come back eventually and I’d need to move on. Writing had been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t something I talked about often because it felt silly, but I think it’s time to start making the dream a reality.

I let my head hang down between my shoulders and took a deep breath. This was a conversation I needed to have with myself when I wasn’t at The Tequila Cowboy, an unknown number of tequila sunrises and who knows how many shots deep. I picked myself up and brushed off the icky feelings, ready to get back to the dance floor.

Penny was alone at the bar when I got back, a new drink for me and her, a shot laying next to each. “Where’s Theo?” I asked, sitting down.

“She said she needed to get home, she wasn’t feeling well. She told me to tell you goodnight and she loves you.” I picked up my shot, Penny did the same. We clinked our glasses and finished every drop. I took Penny’s hand and dragged her to the dance floor, drink in hand. We both avoided talking about Theo.

We danced to the country cover band, belting the lyrics at the top of our lungs. The dance floor was packed with locals, mostly older men, that didn’t matter to us. We danced the night away, time went by faster than I think we both intended. At this point in the night, my vision was blurry, and I was in no shape to drive home. Unfortunately for Penny and I both, we had to find a ride home.

“What time is it?” Penny yelled over the music. Swaying to the beat with her drink raised in the air.

When I glanced down at my phone for the first time in hours, I saw a text from Boone.

Boone: I hope you’re having a good time. I also hope those boys are keeping their hands to themselves.

I couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across my face. The butterflies that seemed to take permanent occupancy when Boone was involved started to flutter at the fact he was thinking of me. If he were here now, I knew I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. I shook my head, clearing all the downright dirty thoughts I had about Boone.

“11:45!” I shout back. “I’m in no shape to drive.” I began to giggle, and Penny joined in. The giggles turned into straight-up belly laughter, and we were both doubled over.

“I can call Boone,” I say through laughs, trying to catch my breath. I grabbed my phone and scrolled to find his contact.

“Boone? You think he’ll actually drive out at midnight to come get our drunk asses?” Penny asked. I nod immediately and hold up a finger. “I’m going to call him. Stay here.”

I stumbled my way out the front door and pressed on Boone’s contact, “Hot Neighbor.” The fresh air felt good on my skin. I put my back against the brick wall of the bar and let my head fall back, facing the sky.

In two rings, I heard Boone’s rough voice on the other end, “What’s up, Darling?”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “Darling,” I repeated back. The more he said it, the more I got used to it. “I can’t drive,” I said, straight to the point.

“Mhmm…” Boone hummed. Not in a disapproving way, in an “I can tell” kind of way.

“Which is a problem because I drove to the bar. I’m usually the responsible one. I don’t drink when we all go out. I’m always on my best behavior!” I laughed. “Except tonight.”

“Mhmm…” Boone hummed, again.

I couldn’t seem to shut up. “Theo already left. Penny and I are still here. This band is so good! We’ve been dancing and singing. I’m having fun! I like fun Aspen.”

“Is this your way of asking me for a ride home?”

Again, I couldn’t control my giggles, the damn tequila. “Maybeeee,” I said, drawing out the last syllable.

“I’ll be there in a few. You girls better drink some water before climbing in my truck.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, mock saluting to literally no one.

“Sir?” Boone said in response. I could hear rustling on the other end, he must’ve been moving around.

“What are you doing?” I asked, biting my lip. I rolled my head back and forth on the hard brick with my eyes closed.

“I’m putting my shirt on to come get your drunk ass.”

I felt my face flush and my core tighten, picturing shirtless Boone sprawled out on the couch. The things that image did to me…

“Why put one on to come get me, Cowboy?” The balls I’d grown to be able to say that to Boone Cassidy was unreal. I mean, it was all shameless flirting, right?

“Aspen…” was all he said when silence took over the phone.

“I’ll be waiting inside with Penny. Just look for the youngest girls on the dance floor when you get here.” Before he could get a reply, I hung up the phone. It was my sad attempt to seem mysterious, maybe even sexy. Like “hey, come and get me.”

I put my phone back in my clutch and went back inside. When I spotted Penny on the dance floor, she pressed her back against some guy, grinding on his front. That was definitely not Mac. We hadn’t seen him tonight which meant he must’ve had the night off. This guy was probably old enough to be my father and looked like a western Sam Elliot, kinda hot though. I shuffled my way closer to Penny, leaning over to her ear. “Boone will be here in a few. I think he told us to have water before we,” I used air quotes, “ get in his truck .” Penny laughed and turned around to her newest dance partner, whispering something in his ear. They guy took a hint and walked away.

“I told him that my dad was on the way, so he better walk,” Penny said, shrugging her shoulders and taking my hand in hers. I laughed and began dancing with her, swaying our hips and letting the music take over. The dance floor was starting to clear out, it was time for the older crowd to head home.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed while drinking the last bit of my tequila sunrise when I felt a cool breeze from the front of the bar. My head swung to the door and my eyes caught a dimly lit figure coming inside.

The figure was wearing a white t-shirt, cowboy hat, and well fitting jeans. I knew instantly it was Boone, and I took off running. When I reached him, I jumped up to wrap my legs and arms around him. The melted ice in my drink spilled slightly down his back.

“Woah there,” He ordered, catching me and placing his hands on my hips. I unraveled my legs and, when they hit the floor, I stumbled to the side. Boone had his hands on me and kept me from spilling myself on the floor. “Boone!” I shouted. “You came!”

“You called,” His response was low enough that only I heard. The patrons in the bar were most definitely looking, but I didn’t care.

The adrenaline and excitement took over and I acted on impulse. I took Boone’s hat from his head and placed it on mine. In the moment, it felt right. I’d ride Boone all day, everyday .

“Oohs” and “ahhs” filled the bar at the sight of me wearing Boone’s hat. “Does it look as good on me as it does you?” I teased, looking up into his oceanic eyes. I was so undeniably attracted to this man.

My heart sank, like someone attached at ten pound weight, when I saw Boone wasn’t smiling. The stern expression on his face took all the confidence I had and crumbled it to dust. Boone and I stood in front of each other, his hands still on my hips.

The moment disappeared when he whispered, “Aspen, don’t do that again unless you mean it. Restraint isn’t a strength of mine, Darling.” He took the hat back and put it on his head.

I felt embarrassed, so fucking stupid. I retreated back into my timid shell and turned away from his hold. Walking to Penny, I grabbed her by the arm and guided her towards Boone at the door. The party was over and my fun meter was empty. I sobered up instantly. Did he not want me to do that in public? Was he worried about his reputation? I wouldn’t want him to lose his “game” because he was caught close with me.

When Penny saw Boone, she thanked him and grabbed his elbow so he could escort her to the truck. I moved out the door first, tossing my cup in the trash can outside. Wasting no time walking to Boone’s truck, I stood at the back passenger seat. There’s no way in hell I’m sitting upfront.

I kept replaying the last five minutes in my head. My anxiety reminded me of how ridiculous I must’ve looked. I bet everyone heard him reject me, tell me pretty much to take it off and don’t do it again. I felt foolish, did I push the flirting too far?

“I’m sitting in the back too!” Penny yells, running to the other back door. “It’s like he’s our chauffeur,” she giggled.

When Boone unlocked the car, we all climbed in. I sat silent for most of the ride. Penny talked to Boone, asking him questions about the ranch, his family, and even his sister. Boone answered them unfazed in typical Boone fashion. I couldn’t find it in me to pretend to be interested because I was too stuck in my own head.

We dropped Penny off at her apartment. Before she left, she and I hugged goodbye in the back seat.

“I had a blast tonight!” She laughed in my ear, placing a wet kiss on my cheek. “Call me in the morning!” I held her tight, soaking in the warmth from her before pulling away. “I will.” I replied, giving her a half smile.

I wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the drive alone with Boone. I wished I could blink my eyes and I’d be home, in my bed. Silence took over the truck, the radio wasn’t even on to fill the void. Watching the trees pass by in the dark, I thought about how much of an idiot I was to let my guard down. This was why people needed to make my decisions because clearly, I wasn’t fit to control my own life. The anxiety was talking and I wish I could just get rid of her. I tapped into my breathing, closing my eyes and focusing to calm my racing heart.

Boone and I pulled up to our little cabins. Before he could even put the car in park and shut it off, I climbed out. Walking fast to my door, I fumbled with my key.

“Aspen, wait!” Boone called, jogging up to me.

“Come on.” I groaned, trying to wiggle the lock open. “Dumb stupid old hunk of metal!” I sighed, pulling the key out again. I felt warm hands wrap around mine. Boone took the key and put it in the door. As it opened, I hurried in.

“Aspen.” He muttered again, shutting the door behind him. I swayed a little, trying to find my way to the kitchen for a drink.

“What, Boone?” I asked, refusing to make eye contact. “I got it; your reputation was on the line. I shouldn’t have thrown myself all over you in public like that.”

I heard Boone let out a pathetic laugh, “What the hell are you talking about?”

I placed both hands on the sink for the second time tonight, allowing my head to roll back so I was looking at the ceiling. “Me, running into your arms tonight. Me, putting on your hat. It all looks a little too comfy cozy for us. I wouldn’t want it to get around town that I was all over you and tie you down.” Now, I spun around, my dress moving with me. “I know what my actions meant, Boone. It isn’t the first hat I’ve put on my head.” The last part was a lie. Boone’s jaw ticked, our eyes locking on each other. I thought I was strong enough to stand toe to toe with Boone Cassidy and give him a piece of my mind.

He surprised me when he said, “You wanna ride me then, huh?”

My stomach dropped and blush began to creep down my neck. My skin felt like a million bugs scattered down my spine. Riding Boone would probably be the best sex of my life, but it would complicate everything we had grown here, a friendship that was blossoming into something new and fresh.

I wondered what I would miss if things went wrong. Would I lose him helping me clean up at night, would he stop coming around to watch the stars at night?

I let out a huff and walked passed him down the small hall to the bedroom. I needed to get these shoes off. My butt hit the bed when I flopped down.

Boone’s boots gave him away. He was coming to the room. I could hear the anger through his footsteps, the deep thuds grew louder.

“I didn’t do or say what I did because I have my reputation to protect. I did it because it doesn’t seem like you to throw yourself at a man while drunk in a bar. By putting my hat on your head, you pretty much told everyone in the bar you wanted to fuck me. How does that feel, Aspen? Do you want the whole town to know that you’d be screaming my name?” I’d never seen Boone raise his voice like this. Not that he was yelling, but his voice wasn’t the soft lull it usually was. This was deep and loud, a different kind of Boone that he reserved for very few. “Wasn’t it you who was so worried about your brother finding out about the swimming hole?”

I didn’t know how to respond. My body was reacting to his every word, thinking about fucking Boone made me tingle everywhere. Thinking about his hands on my body, exploring parts of me that haven’t been handled in that way. I also grew angry. Him bringing up what I said outside the hardware store was too far. I was angry and horny, a recipe for disaster.

“Don’t you dare throw that back in my face. You know I didn’t mean it like that.” I refused to back down now. My jaw tightened, fists formed at my sides. I was having a down right temper tantrum. “You don’t know me. What gives you the right to make that assumption? Maybe I did want everyone to know that I’m attracted to you.” I took a step closer to him, the tension building. “Maybe, just maybe, I like the thought of everyone knowing how badly I want to scream your name.”

“We aren’t having this conversation right now. You’re drunk.” Boone shook his head as he turned from me.

I was pissed off and embarrassed. I didn’t like feeling this way, so my mind jumped to defense mode. “You don’t want to talk about me riding you, Cowboy?” I replied. There was no way I would let him win. Being drunk was giving me the courage I needed to go round for round with the 6 foot 3 man before me.

“Goodnight, Aspen,” Boone replied. “I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll bring the coffee.” Boone didn’t let me reject his offer before he left my cabin.

After his departure, I groaned and threw myself down on the bedspread. I shouldn’t have toyed with him, I should’ve left it alone. The whole night was a confusing mess, I acted in ways I’d never seen before. I said things that were way too brazen for someone like me. Who was I?

While doing a half-assed attempt at my skin care routine, I talked to myself in the mirror replaying everything I wish I had said to Boone.

You don’t control me. Drunk or not, I’d still want you. Take advantage of me. I needed to shut up because I was just getting myself riled up, physically and mentally. I had to stop thinking about how I acted and move forward to try and fix it in the morning.