Chapter 10

“Cockblocking your brother is the literal embodiment of violating the bro code.” Teddy frowned at Nate as they stood behind the footy goals, catching and returning kicks.

“Trust me. I did you a favour.”

“From the hot woman with the sexy body? Consider me a very willing victim. You know I’m not looking for anything serious. Besides, you’re the one making out with Eloise in public. The logical next step is to spend as much time together as possible.” Teddy jumped, easily catching a wayward football. He punted it back gently, flashing a thumbs up when a young girl caught it. “Honestly, it’s like I’m the only brother who understands women. Owen was useless until shit hit the fan with Alice and he had to get his head out of his ass. Raff torpedoed things with Cassie for reasons no one knows or understands, and now this. You finally kiss the girl you’ve been mooning over for years—twice, Mum’s been counting and updating the family group chat—and then when she shows up making sex eyes at you, you stick her with the person she can’t stand. Dude. Just no. To all of it.”

Memories of their kisses had been tormenting Nate for the last twenty-four hours. “You can’t say s-e-x. There are kids here.”

“Relax. They can’t hear us. The older ones are too busy looking at Eloise’s and Bianca’s asses anyway.”

“Teddy.”

“What? Like you’re not looking?”

Nate sighed. “I wasn’t … looking at Bianca’s.”

Teddy’s smirk was infuriatingly well deserved, even Nate could acknowledge that. “Shut up.”

“So …” Teddy raised his eyebrows.

Nate caught a low kick and took his time lining up his return shot, trying to avoid his brother’s questioning gaze. “So what?”

“What’s next? Are you going to ask her to be your girl? Go steady?”

Nate shook his head. “On a scale of one to ten, how much are you enjoying this right now?”

“Not as much as I would’ve enjoyed being partnered with Bianca.”

“Jesus, Ted.”

Teddy’s laugh was more irritating than it should’ve been. “Language, Nate. There are children here. Stop avoiding the question. Where are you going to take Eloise for your first official date?”

“Nowhere.”

Teddy dropped a catch, twisting to look at Nate. “Nowhere?”

“I’m not taking her on a date.”

“It’s official. You’re the worst with women. I always thought it was Raff because he’s such a workaholic, but wow, it’s you.”

Nate checked his watch and pursed his lips. “Just leave it, Ted.”

“Nope.”

Fine. If Teddy wasn’t going to drop it, Nate would simply remove himself from the situation. He lifted the whistle to his lips and blew, getting everyone’s attention. “We’re almost out of time, everyone. Start packing up. You guys collect the balls and put them back in the bin. Eloise and Bianca, can you roll up the mats and collect the coloured dots over there, please?” Nate pointed to the far side of the field where they’d done the warm-up stretches.

“We’ll help in a second,” Teddy called and gestured for Nate to walk to the boundary fence with him where a few errant footballs were waiting. “I think you need to stop, take a deep breath and consider what might happen if you push Eloise away right now.”

“Ted …”

“Shut your cake hole. I’m not done. Is it Charlie? He might grumble and give you some stick about being good to his sister but whatever, who cares. You’re a good guy. He knows that. He wouldn’t have asked you to be his best man if he didn’t. What’s really holding you back?”

It was the genuine concern in Teddy’s tone that coaxed part of the truth from Nate.

“Look at her.” Both brothers turned to watch Eloise as she smiled and joked with the kids helping her tidy up. She was such a natural with them, all easy smiles and endless kindness. Nate remembered how patient she’d been with him when he first came home. Checking in on him, chatting at KPs, helping him feel a part of the community again. Himself again. “It’ll never be simple for us. There’s so much pressure. If we were to really date, Mum would lose her mind—more than she already has—and everyone would always be watching us. Passing judgements, expecting more.”

“I’m not following.”

“I don’t know if I want to get married. I’m pretty sure I don’t want kids.” The words slipped off Nate’s tongue far too easily considering how they made his stomach clench.

“Duuuuuude,” Teddy mumbled. “Hear me out: maybe don’t propose and knock her up immediately, then. Do we need to have a talk about condoms? Because I will get a banana and go all high school sex ed on your ass. Or, even better, you could chill the fuck out and just see where this thing goes. Talk to her about what she wants when the time is right. You’re looking way too far into the future, man.”

Which is exactly what someone would say if they didn’t know their future was already predetermined. But Nate wasn’t ready to share that information. He might never be ready to tell anyone.

He certainly wasn’t ready to talk to Eloise, which was a damn shame because she was walking right towards him.

* * *

“Got a second, Nate?”Eloise asked once the final bag was stowed in the back of his Pajero. Bianca had already sashayed away to cause havoc somewhere else, no doubt.

“Not really. I’ve got a Zoom meeting with my agent tonight.”

Eloise tried to forget everything she’d learnt about body language, but there was no avoiding the firm set of Nate’s shoulders, the blank expression on his face. She’d guess that his eyes were also vacant, but he’d spent the session hiding them from her. What had happened between last night and now? While Eloise had been building fantasies of something more, he’d obviously been figuring out how to let her down gently.

“I better get going. I’m covering a shift at the pub. Good session tonight, Eloise.” Teddy’s gentle words, so unlike his normal jokey tone, sealed her fate. It was all over before it had even started.

Eloise couldn’t bring herself to say goodbye to Teddy, so she just nodded. Hoped he understood that the warring emotions inside her made keeping her disappointment hidden her top priority right now.

“Did I do something wrong?” She hated herself as soon as the words had left her mouth because seriously, to hell with this.

Nate had kissed her back.

Nate had held her close.

Nate had wanted this.

But that was last night,she reminded herself. Everything she’d heard about him was obviously true.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Knowing they agreed on something did nothing to lessen the sting of his rejection.

“It’s hard for me to explain,” Nate said softly.

The bullshit attempt at a brush-off set fire to her disappointment, twisting the worry that had been simmering through the whole session into anger. “Because writers are known for being bad with words.”

“It’s complicated.” Nate closed his car boot with a thump.

“It’s really not.” It certainly hadn’t been when he’d let his guard down and encouraged her to do the same thing.

“I don’t want to jeopardise our friendship.”

Eloise shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “And I don’t want to be friends with someone who isn’t going to tell me the truth.”

“That’s not what’s happening here.”

Eloise snorted, which would’ve normally embarrassed the hell out of her, but right now? It was a snort of empowerment. A snort of sisterhood for every woman who had ever been given a ridiculous excuse from a man too scared to admit the truth. Joanie would’ve been proud. Joanie. Her grandmother’s advice made perfect sense now.

“I have to go,” she muttered, not bothering to even look at him.

“Where’s your car?”

“It’s at work.” All her earlier visions of Nate giving her a lift back, stealing a few kisses as he finally officially asked her out, were nothing but a distant memory.

“I’ll drive you back.”

Her laugh was bitter and dry. “I’ll walk.”

“But what about?—”

“No.”

The muscles in his jaw clenched. “Text me when you get there? Please,” he added when she frowned, biting her lip to stop herself from asking why he was pretending to care.

“Just because I can’t …” His gaze shifted to the ground. “I still want us to stay friends.”

That was the worst f-word in the world.

“I’ve got to go.” Eloise had an exchange to apply for.