Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

A fter a cold, refreshing swim, the twins headed inside for a much-needed nap, and I brought one of the Adirondack chairs down to the little beach to see if I could catch us some lunch. I'd changed into a pair of shorts and hoped to stay out of any tees and sweaters until the sun dipped low.

"Danny, if you wanna wash up, do it before I throw in the bait." My trusty old fishing rod had never failed me before, though I suspected that was because I had two creeks running through the lake. The smallmouth bass that passed through only stayed for a hot second if there was food. Otherwise, they were off to warmer waters.

"Okay," I heard Danny reply.

While I waited, I walked over to the tree line with an empty tin mug and squatted down. Shouldn't be hard to find bait here. The soil was damp but not wet just a few inches under the top layer.

Fuck, this was the life. I'd needed this mini vacation too. Just the sounds of birds and the calm breeze. Give me music on any other day, but up here, I preferred the silence.

The crunch of dirt and then the pebbles alerted me to Danny's presence, and I glanced behind me just as he hauled his tee over his head.

I remembered those tattoos. They covered his back and consisted of nothing but pinkish roses and greenery. Some of the flowers were wilted, some in full bloom, a few damaged with torn petals.

"If you hear a scream underwater, it wasn't me," he said.

My mouth twitched. I turned back to what I was doing, only to sneak a peek when he walked into the water seconds later.

Fuck, that ass was perfect. Two soft-looking handfuls.

"Jesus Christ, that's… gah ." He sucked in a sharp breath. "Are you looking, sir?"

I smiled. "Absolutely."

Fuck this; I could fish later. I brushed dirt off my hands and planted my ass in the chair.

Yup, the day was definitely getting better.

I stretched out my legs comfortably, crossing them at the ankles, and folded a hand behind my head.

Danny dove under with a curse and resurfaced a quick second later. He stood close to where I'd been standing, though the water reached higher around him. Of course he had enough energy to throw me a glare, but that only made me smile wider.

Would it be considered losing the fight if I'd never joined the battle in the first place? I may have told myself to keep my distance, but I couldn't say I'd actually done that.

"Can you stop messin' with my head?" he bit out, moving the soap over his body too quickly for my liking. What was the rush? "You're watching me like you're interested."

I hummed. "Not my fault you can't eavesdrop properly. I never told anyone I wasn't a Dom." I tilted my head and scooted lower in my seat. "Can you slow down a bit?"

He did slow down—altogether—though not because I'd asked. He was on edge now. Hesitancy flitted across his features, and he threw a glance at the cabin before he looked back at me. "Is this a joke?"

I shook my head unhurriedly. "I told you, little one. This is no laughing matter to me."

He clenched his jaw. "You can't call me that if you don't fucking mean it, Payne."

Yeah, he had to be mine. For however long he was interested. Because the second he got defensive, I wanted to be there and promise him I wasn't going anywhere. He was terrified to trust, even more terrified to let himself believe. And I got it. It was soon. It'd been a twenty-four-hour whirlwind. But if we allowed ourselves to look at each other from a purely professional perspective…with years and years of learning how to profile and read people, he had to know as well as I did that whatever this was… We were at least worth a shot.

"I don't say things I don't mean, Danny."

I wanted to throw caution to the wind. Go all in and see if we could spice up the months he'd be under my care. A year, maybe? Before he went off on his adventures.

"If you want me to keep my hands to myself, I will." I was serious. The last thing I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable—in an unpleasant way. "If not…take a couple steps closer so I can see you."

Danny wasn't modest by any means either. He'd been standing stock-still because he hadn't dared to take the next step on his own. I understood him. He struggled with feeling exposed emotionally.

He wasn't standing stock-still anymore, though. He moved closer to the beach and shifted the soap south to wash his privates the moment they emerged from the water.

I planted my elbows on the armrests and pressed my knuckles against my lips.

He was too fucking beautiful. Sexy, stunning, all male, so much strength, abs I wanted to lick and come all over, and…beneath that hardened, scarred, tough exterior…was a boy who should be smiling all the time.

Danny gave me what I wanted. Time slowed down as he washed himself. We didn't speak, and we didn't look away from each other. I stared hungrily when he focused on his ass. It was all right that he didn't turn around. I could do with some teasing too. For a few seconds.

I cleared my throat and rose from the chair. "Finish up." Then I picked up his towel off the ground.

I wanted him out of the water before his lips turned blue.

His shudders were hard to miss.

He tossed the bar of soap onto the beach before he went under, and he shook himself like a dog. Too bloody cute. Those were the glimpses I wanted more of. Hell, all of them. Around me, he should be able to relax completely. That was my goal anyway.

He'd been brave in putting on a show for me, no matter how briefly. In his eyes, everyone was a potential threat. Someone who could hurt him and make him feel more alone.

We'd work on that.

I held up his towel as he came out of the water, his eyes revealing he was probably a little unnerved. Maybe he wondered what would happen next. I had no plan to make him wait.

Come to Daddy.

The second he was within reach, I used the towel to haul him against my body. Jesus, he was a popsicle. I wrapped him up tightly in the fabric, then dipped down and captured his mouth with mine. He shook and shivered, to the point where I got worried. His soft lips were a little cold too. But he didn't seem to care about the towel. He sucked in a quick breath and threw his arms around my neck, and I caught the towel right before it could fall to the ground.

We deepened the kiss at the same time, our tongues meeting teasingly, gently, as I covered him with the towel and hugged him hard.

"We gotta get you warm."

"I'm feelin' warmer already. We've been through worse."

Right. Always fun with hypothermia exploration in Alaska, but those were different circumstances.

I couldn't bear to focus on anything other than kissing him, though. Besides, we were in the sun. Nothing should warm him up faster, right? The sun and my body heat. I tightened my hold further and withheld a groan. He felt so goddamn good against me. He clung to me as if his life depended on it, and his kisses were too intoxicating. Slow, seductive motions with his tongue, needy little sounds…

I cupped his face in my hands and managed to slow things down a bit. Reluctantly. But it would do me no good to rush this. Danny wasn't a one-nighter I brought back to my hotel room, nor was he a community member I planned on having a quick scene with.

I swept my tongue alongside his and brushed my thumbs over his soft jaw.

He shivered, his breaths coming out in quick puffs against my lips.

Slower.

I inhaled deeply and rested my forehead to his, and he opened his eyes just a beat after I opened mine.

Christ almighty, he was something else.

"Hi," he whispered.

Warmth flooded me, and I smiled into a softer kiss. "Hi, beautiful boy."

Dark lust and sweet vulnerability mingled into one hell of a drug of a cocktail in his eyes, and he attacked me with a hard kiss. My hands fell when he locked his arms around my neck again, and he made a couple needy sounds into the kiss.

"Say more stuff like that. I wanna feel like your boy," he pleaded.

My boy.

Fuck, there goes the last of my resolve.

I kissed him hungrily and slipped my hands down to his delectable little ass, wondering how quickly I could get us horizontal. And where . I wanted to feel him all over, kiss him, hold him, get him warm.

The apple trees.

Perfect.

"Meet me behind the cabin in thirty seconds," I murmured against his lips. "I have an idea."

He nodded quickly and inched back slightly.

Jesus, that face. Those captivating blue eyes, his thoroughly kissed mouth, and the dimples that appeared with his cute grin…

I had to kiss him again.

That smile he gave me was fucking everything.

"You actually want me," he said, almost as if he couldn't believe it.

"Is that so shocking?" I touched his cheek.

"Sh- yeah ." He let out a laugh. "I wanted you two fucking years ago, but you wouldn't even talk to me."

I winced. "Other circumstances, Danny. I was attracted to you then too."

He smirked ruefully. "You and your principles."

We could talk about those later. I pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. "Thirty seconds."

"Yes, sir." He nodded.

I hurried up the porch steps, then slowed down to make my way through the living room without a sound. The twins were fast asleep on the couches, and I hoped they stayed that way for a while.

In my room, I grabbed a pillow and the top sheet from the bed, then headed outside once more.

Danny was waiting for me where the porch ended, towel wrapped around his hips, and the sight of him caused a flurry of emotions to well up in my chest. Sometimes, I forgot to take a break to process things.

That's what I wanted to do now.

I closed the distance between us and led the way out into the orchard. I could thank my brother-in-law for mowing the grass—three freaking months ago—when he'd visited with my nephews. But I should mow it again before it officially took the title as wild grown.

"Do you get a lot of snakes?" Danny wondered.

"Not here." I stepped under one of the apple trees and fanned out the sheet. "One or two will catch some sun over by the rocks in the summer, but that's about it." I sat down on the sheet and tossed the pillow behind me. "All right, let's get my hands back on your body where they belong."

He grinned and pounced as soon as I was lying flat on my back.

He got on all fours and peered down at me. "Hi again."

I just smiled up at him and pushed away some hair that'd fallen over his eyes. Those, I wanted to see. At all times. The big bonus was the background. Blue skies, sunrays poking between the branches and the apple blossoms.

"So, um…" He let his gaze travel down my chest. "You haven't mentioned what kind of Dom you are."

I pushed myself up on my elbows and kissed him. "The kind who really likes that you have a stuffie."

He shivered, easing back to sit on my thighs. "I see. You call it a stuffie too."

"I do." I tilted my head. What I wouldn't give to be able to read his mind. "Have you considered yourself a Little for a long time?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek and eventually shook his head. "It hasn't been like that for me. I don't have any actual playtime experience—with kink, I mean. It's just…um, sometimes I don't feel great when I'm at home." When he was alone. "It started out as a way to comfort myself, I guess. I'd bury myself in blankets and pillows on the couch, and I would just binge-watch cartoons."

Christ, he was after my fucking heart, wasn't he?

I could tell he wasn't comfortable being so open—so soon—so I didn't pressure him. I let my head fall back against the pillow again, and I just brushed my hands up and down his thighs.

He tilted his head up toward the trees and closed his eyes. "Before I knew it, I'd bought pajamas and a stuffed animal, and it'd become a nightly routine."

Okay, the space between us didn't work. I tugged him down to me and wrapped my arms around his middle, to which he chuckled and straightened out his legs. Much better. He fell off me just a bit, but I went with him. Half sprawled over me, he kissed my jaw and then buried his face against my neck.

"The fantasies came a while after," he admitted quietly. "I don't feel younger or anything—I've read some Littles do that…but I like letting go of all the adult shit and just…I don't know."

"Just being little," I murmured.

He nodded.

I let out a breath and squeezed him to me.

"What about you? Have you been a Daddy Dom for long?"

Damn. Merely hearing the word Daddy fall from his lips…

"I wanna say about fifteen years…?" I scratched my chin and tried to remember. BDSM hadn't been as easy to find back then. "But you know how it is. With what we do, having a passion or hobby doesn't mean we have a lot of experience with it. Deployments ruled out proper relationships from the beginning."

He hummed and pressed his lips to my neck.

I smiled when he licked my skin and suckled softly at me.

No, time to see his eyes again. I rolled half on top of him and growled playfully against his cheek. It earned me the sweetest sound of his laughter, which soon morphed into a gasp as I slipped a hand under his towel and cupped his cock.

"A heads-up next time, Payne," he moaned. "Fuck—yeah. More."

But I stopped. I nipped at his bottom lip, not wanting to hear my last name one more time. Not from him. Not like that.

"You don't have to call me Daddy, but at least use my first name." I kissed his cheek and felt weirdly exposed myself. "It's Emerson or Em." The latter was only used by family, but evidently, I was sufficiently hooked.

He peered up at me and brushed his fingers over the scruff on my jaw. "Do you want me to call you Daddy…?"

I couldn't lie. Plus, he'd been so honest with me.

"I do. But it's ridiculously fast," I murmured. "It's not a term I throw around like a common nickname."

A soft smile tugged at his lips. "Tell me I'm different from everybody else."

Oh. Oh, I could do more than that. He was feeling a bit possessive, huh? I didn't mind that one fucking bit.

Covering his body with my own, I cupped his cheek and kissed him languidly. "In my head, you've already agreed to sleep in my bed every night till the day you insist on going off on your own to risk your life. How's that for different, baby boy?"

"Oh my God," he breathed. He swallowed hard and wriggled his hands between us, and then he was pulling away his towel and trying to undo my shorts. " Off ," he whined. "I can't be a good boy for my Daddy if he's wearing clothes."

I grabbed his jaw tightly as a rush of carnal desire shot through me. At the same time, I felt something akin to what it was like to hear locks slamming into place in a metal door. Sealing the deal, deciding my future, chaining Danny to my side, because that's clearly where he had to be. Not that I'd get my way for very long. I had no doubt Danny would soar once he'd mended his wings.

"Say that again," I commanded quietly.

Lust and need swam in his eyes, and he managed to unbutton my shorts and unzip me. "This isn't new to me." He made a cute grunting noise and pushed down my shorts farther, until he could help out with his feet. "I've fantasized about you countless times…even after I figured out what I was into. You were Daddy then too. Every time I fucked myself on a dildo, it was your cock. Daddy's cock."

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath, letting a wave of possessiveness wash over me. I threw aside his towel, and I kicked off my shorts completely.

"Take me, Daddy," he whispered. "Please?"

I shuddered and soaked up his attention. His fingers scratching my scruff, his soft lips on my jaw, his feet sliding up my calves.

I swallowed dryly and forced myself to think about safety for one beat. "Do we have anything to worry about?"

He shook his head. "Not from me. You?"

I shook my head too.

I dipped down and kissed him, teasing his tongue with mine, and I went willingly when he nudged me back. I felt heavier, as if I couldn't support my own weight, but maybe that was the gravity of the moment. I wanted this boy so fucking much that I didn't know how to process what'd just happened. How he'd just ruined me. How that was even possible, I didn't know.

Something had definitely tied me to him, though.

The day he walked out was going to hurt.

When my head hit the pillow, Danny crawled over me and kissed his way down my chest. He raked his blunt fingernails through my chest hair and whispered how sexy I was, how badly he wanted me to be his Daddy, and that he wanted to be the only boy in my bed.

Then he sucked my cock into his mouth and gripped the base.

I groaned and combed my fingers through his hair.

"I wanna take care of you all the time," he said, tracing the vein with his tongue. "Whenever you want me to."

I managed to fold the pillow so I could watch him. "We'll take care of each other. Sometimes, Daddy gets hungry for his boy's cock in the middle of the night. You might wake up with my mouth on you. Or with my tongue in your tight little ass."

He whimpered with his mouth full and nodded quickly. He liked that idea.

I sucked in a breath and bit down on my lip. Watching him try to take all of me was a fucking obscene sight. He choked a little and coated me with saliva. Fuck, right there. I held him in place for just a second, rubbing against the back of his throat.

"Pinch Daddy's thigh if it's too much, you hear?"

He nodded and went a little faster, but that was enough. I didn't wanna get too close yet. I cupped his jaw and eased him away. "Come here." I held out a hand for him. "We'll need to come up with a safeword."

"Broccoli." He nodded.

I exhaled a laugh. "Not a fan?"

"It's nasty stuff."

I chuckled. The heaviness lifted, and I felt like I was fucking flying. "Broccoli, it is. Or, you know, red. Red works too."

"I can have two." He smirked cheekily and positioned himself higher up, wriggling his butt over my cock.

Adorable.

I wasn't na?ve. I knew insecurities would strike back; doubts and worries would revisit. But I'd be there for that. I wouldn't let him fight alone anymore. We'd work together to get back to this right here, where he was at ease and playful.

"Are you teasing Daddy's cock?"

"Yeah." He grinned and raised his brows at me. "And kinda thinking about what would happen if the twins woke up."

I smirked, and I had to still him. I gripped his hips and got him right where I wanted him, with the head of my cock pushing against his tight opening.

"They'll have two options," I said. "They can watch, or they can go back to sleep."

"Dirty," he whispered. Needing more wetness, he spat into his hand and stroked me quickly. "As long as only I get to play with you, I'm down for anything."

I liked that rule. "That sounds perfect to me."

We were kinda done talking after that. He wanted to hold my hands, so I threaded our fingers together and held him tightly as he slowly, inch by inch, took me inside. God . It was possible I squeezed his hands a little too hard here and there, but I couldn't fucking help it. He was so bloody tight and warm around my cock.

The pain and determination in his expression only turned me on more. I wasn't particularly sadistic in my dominance, but when my boy wanted Daddy's cock so much that he accepted pain in order to get fucked, I felt ten feet tall.

Most of the time, I was only interested in pain that heightened and intensified pleasure.

Most of the time.

Some boys needed the belt on occasion, and I'd just become utterly hooked on a strong boy with a knack for getting himself into trouble.

I couldn't wait to explore what kind of attitude he'd have when he got feisty. Would he yield, or would he jut his chin?

I hissed as he sank all the way down, and he let out a pained moan.

" Daddy ."

"Take your time, baby. Let your little hole get used to being stretched."

That made him whimper. "Your filthy fucking mouth… Say more stuff."

I let out a breathless chuckle, only to groan when he clenched down on me. "When I get you alone, you'll be cuddling up with your stuffie as Daddy fucks you into next week." I carefully withdrew one of my hands from his so I could rub his cock. "Maybe you can suck on your thumb for Daddy too. Give him something cute to watch."

"Yeah," he breathed out. "Oh fuck." He started moving cautiously. "You, um, you really want me in your bed every night?"

"As close as possible." I looked between us, right where we were joined. "I gotta have you in my arms."

He nodded. "I want that so bad."

I slowed him down again. It was time for me to take over. He didn't seem entirely comfortable with setting the pace, and I couldn't lie still anymore. I instructed him to get on all fours for me, and he was quick to scramble into position.

I kneeled behind him.

"Fucking hell." I kneaded his ass and dipped down to slick him up a bit more. Then I inched closer and pressed the head of my cock against his asshole, and I couldn't look away to save my life. Full control, addictive view. "Breathe out and push back, okay?"

I smoothed my hand up his spine, brushing my fingers along his intricate tattoos. My little Danny Rose. I pushed inside, and he groaned and clamped down.

"Breathe out, little one. Daddy's almost all the way in."

He filled the silence with more of his needy sounds, and he pushed back as much as he could. I registered every noise, every look over his shoulder, and I was flooded with the urge to claim and own. His need for reassurance and comfort, for togetherness , turned me into a man possessed.

I started fucking him.

My hands roamed his worship-worthy body, every inch I could reach, and I told him to touch himself like he did when he was alone and thinking about Daddy.

We could never go back. I hoped he realized that. Exposing these sides of ourselves to each other had been the final nail in the coffin. I couldn't be Payne, the hard-ass instructor who viewed him as nothing but a soldier. He couldn't be the cocky sergeant who kept me and everybody else at arm's length.

The walls had to be torn down.

I shuddered at a rush of euphoria, and I could see how my cock glistened more.

"Perfect little boy," I murmured, mesmerized by the sight. "You're milking Daddy of pre-come."

He cursed through a moan and pushed back harder. He looked at me over his shoulder too, cheeks a little flushed, eyes heavy with lust.

"I'm so hard," he whimpered.

I sat back on my heels and pulled him with me. "Let me play with you. Fuck yourself on my cock."

I sucked on his neck and wrapped my fingers around him, and he released a drawn-out moan and lolled his head back to my shoulder.

"Keep doing that till you come," I whispered. "As hard as you want."

He shivered and didn't waste a second. Up and down, over and over, creating the hottest sound of skin slapping against skin.

"It's gotta be you," he mumbled breathlessly. "It's gotta be you, Daddy."

"Only me." I tightened my grasp on his cock and slipped my free hand to his throat. "It's gotta be us. You and me."

He gasped and nodded jerkily, slamming down on me so hard that I sounded like a fucking animal when I cursed.

That seemed to set him off. One moan bled into another as he fucked himself on me, and within minutes, I was swimming in filth and desire. I heard his shallow whisper as if we were underwater. I think they're watching us, Daddy . We didn't stop. I couldn't. He went faster. Not a quiet moment. My groans mingled with his moans, and my hand got wet from the liquid trickling down his cock.

It wasn't long before he was coming. I sucked in a breath and stared at the ropes of come shooting out of his cock, and I barely registered his nails digging into the sides of my thighs.

Unfortunately for him, I couldn't give him time to recover. The second he was done, I pushed him forward, grabbed his hips, and fucked him mercilessly.

He cried out for me. For his Daddy.

I started panting and screwed my eyes shut.

The pressure built up rapidly. Every muscle in my body protested, and I still didn't stop. I went faster and harder, I gnashed my teeth and growled, I drilled my cock in and out of him until it was my turn. I imploded with a white-hot rush that gave me cold chills at the same time as I felt feverish.

I couldn't fucking breathe.

I rocked into him, fucking my come deeper inside his ass, and fell forward a bit. My forehead touched the dip between his shoulder blades.

It took a while before I registered Danny's shivers. Heard his quick breaths. Felt him squirm.

Jesus fuck.

Needing more closeness, I summoned the last of my energy and withdrew from him. Then I had us tumbling down on the sheet, and I pulled him tight to my body.

I swallowed against the dryness in my throat.

We shared the pillow so I could watch him.

He let out a shuddering breath and hitched a leg over my hip. That suited me fine. I kissed him on the forehead and gave his ass cheek a squeeze. Maybe my fingers wandered a little. I wanted to feel my come trickling out of him.

"We gotta do that every day," he said hoarsely.

I chuckled, out of breath. "Daddy needs to rest too."

"Mmm, my sexy Daddy…" He cuddled closer and tucked his arms between us.

He gave me a cute, mischievous smile as I dipped my middle finger inside his bottom.

"Perv," he whispered.

"Can't get enough." I kissed him.

The mischief faded, and his smile turned a little timid. "I'm afraid I will get so attached to you that I… I don't know."

Fuck, keep talking.

I swallowed. Warmth blanketed me, reaching deeper than any sunray ever could. "Danny, I've spent my whole life avoiding attachment. I won't do that with you. I don't think I can."

I'll be here until you walk out and don't return.

"Really?" The hope in his eyes—I wanted to bottle it up and keep it with me.

"Really," I murmured. "You make all the difference. If I saw you after a rough assignment, I wouldn't have to worry about feeling alone in my stress, because you know exactly what it's like."

He sobered and nodded. "The night terrors are the worst for me."

For me, it was the anxiety that sometimes arose before I went to bed. But I'd had my fair share of night terrors too.

"Do you have a lot of those?" I wiped my hand on the sheet behind me and just hugged him to me.

"Not anymore—not like before. Sometimes." He yawned and closed his eyes. "This might sound weird, but regular deployments were way worse than Special Forces missions."

That didn't sound weird at all because I felt exactly the same. "I'm with you. Less destruction and mayhem when you're part of a small unit."

"Exactly." He shifted his head toward me and rested our foreheads together. "By the way, the twins are total voyeurs."

I grinned. "I guess I was too distracted by my boy to notice."

His cute grin was back. "You say all the right things, don't you?"

I rumbled a laugh and smooched him because I could.