Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

CAMERON

" C uri, wait!" I ran to catch up with him, stopping him in the stairwell. "Wait. We need to talk."

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, the hard look was gone, replaced by raw, aching pain. "There is nothing to talk about. You're not doing anything wrong. You're with your mate. The most natural thing in the world. I just…I'm not ready to see it."

My throat throbbed. "I'm sorry. I wish…"

"What?" His eyes blazed. "What do you wish, Cameron?"

I shook my head, dislodging tears. "I don't know…Just…I wish that this didn't hurt you so much." That it didn't hurt me so much to see him hurt.

He sucked in a breath, his expression closing off, lip curling wryly. "I'll do my best to temper my emotions." He turned away and started down the steps.

My heart sank. "I didn't mean it that way. Wait—" I grabbed his arm, and he spun and faced me, dark eyes burning a path across my face.

"What? What do you want from me, Cameron? What do you want that I haven't already given you?"

His words were a gut punch, leaving me breathless with guilt and remorse.

He squeezed his eyes shut. "I didn't…didn't mean that."

I released him and stepped back. "Yes, you did. And you have every right to feel that way." He'd given me everything I needed to stay afloat the last few weeks and never once asked for anything in return. "I need you to know that our friendship…our connection is real. I care about you, Curi, and even if it can't be in the way that you'd like…I do love you."

He exhaled raggedly, his chin dropping, shoulders heaving. "Damn you, Cameron. Damn you for being so fucking perfect." He looked up at me with an achingly soft smile. "I'll get over you. I will. But you've set the bar fucking high for whoever comes next."

This time when he walked away, I let him go.

Serath was waiting for me in the lounge, and from the look on his face, it was obvious that he'd overheard my conversation with Curi.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

It was the last thing I was expecting him to ask, and I burst into tears, much to my embarrassment.

Serath wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. "Hush…it's all right. It will be all right. Come on."

He led me back to my room, sat me on the bed, and got me some tissues. "Do you want some water?"

I shook my head. "I'm okay now." I sniffed then blew my nose. "I'm not sure why I'm crying."

"You're crying because you care." He tucked a tendril of damp hair behind my ear. "But what Curi needs now is space," Serath said. "He'll be fine. In time. There is someone else out there for him. He just hasn't met her yet."

"I know." I picked up the comb from my bedside table and began running it through my hair, more for something to do than anything else. "I just feel like…like I've lost something."

"Here, stand up." Serath ushered me to my feet and gently took the comb from me. He began to brush my damp hair. "Are you in love with him? You can tell me, Cameron. You can tell me anything. I know that you're different. Your fae genes make you so, and I know that you love Curi, but are you in love with him?"

I'd asked myself this question once before, and the answer came easily. "No. I'm not. But…I could have been…in time."

"If I hadn't returned?"

I hated to say it but… "Maybe. But Serath…" I turned to face him, placing my palms on his chest and tipping my head up to look at him. "If I have a choice, then I will choose you a hundred times over. My heart, my body, they crave you. Only you. You're my mate, and I'm head over heels in love with you." The relief on his face made my heart ache to think that I'd caused him any doubt. "I love Curi as a friend, and it kills me that he's hurting, and I selfishly don't want to lose him, but if losing him means that he can heal, then…so be it."

"He will heal, Cameron. And you'll find your way back to a friendship again. I know it." He enveloped me in a hug that swallowed my heartache and stripped away my doubts.

I breathed him in, allowing his scent to soothe me. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. Always. I do, however, have a suggestion that might help the situation."

"What?"

"We can switch rooms with Levi. Take my old quarters back so that Curi can have some space."

I ignored the pang in my chest and pulled out of his embrace a little to look up at him. "That's a good idea. We should do that."

He studied me shrewdly for several seconds. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. He needs time and space to…to get over me." It felt oddly arrogant saying those words. "I want to give him that." Like I'd given Levi, the best I could.

"In that case, I'll speak to Levi. I doubt he'll say no, but in the meantime, you should air out the room and change the sheets. It probably reeks of our lovemaking in here."

"Of course. Shit."

He dropped a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you downstairs."

He left me to finish drying my hair, but instead I parked my ass on the bed and dropped my face into my hands because this hurt. Hurting Curi fucking hurt.

All I could do was hope that time would indeed heal us both.