Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

LEVI

I realize two minutes into the run that my body is too tapped out for a decent pace and drop into a jog then to a walk.

Curi slows his pace, then stops to allow me to catch up. "You not feeling it?"

My bones ache as if to illustrate how much I'm not feeling it. "Honestly, I think I'm just tired. But you go ahead."

He looks up at the canopy, face bathed in dashes of sunlight, then shakes his head.

"Nah. Not feeling it either, to be honest."

I glance back down the trail that leads out of the forest, and the thought of going back to the tower, back to watching Cameron in her bubble with Serath makes my stomach hurt. "You want to walk for a bit?"

Curi contemplates, his expression echoing my thought of a moment ago. "Yeah, yeah, let's walk."

A deep silence swells between us, and I can feel him chewing over his thoughts. Bracken crunches beneath my boots, and crisp morning air stings my nostrils. This should be invigorating. Cleansing. But disquiet and conflict fill me. Cameron, Cameron, Cameron…She's all I've thought about for the past few weeks. Wanting to see her smile. Wanting her to be truly happy, and now that she is, there's a hollow pit in my belly.

The loss of her. The lack of her.

Is Curi feeling the same? "How are you coping?"

"Coping?" He scoffs. "With what?"

Nah, we're not going to play that game. "You know what."

He huffs. "I don't want to talk about it."

He definitely wants to talk about it. But I know his type. If I push, he'll shut down. "Okay."

Several seconds pass, and he sighs. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what." He grinds out the words. "Stop loving her."

I don't stop the rough laugh that grates up my throat. "I guess I'm a better actor than I realized."

He slows his pace. "You…You're still in love with her?"

Fuck it. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

Curi chuckles, and his chuckle turns into a full-blown laugh, and I can't help but join in. Because here we are, two males in love with the same woman. Males who in a different situation would be rivals but instead are both rejects with no hope of ever having our heart's desire.

It feels good to laugh. It leaves my chest feeling lighter, but it doesn't last for long before the awful yawning feeling returns.

"I'm not sure I can do it," Curi says. "Be around her all day, every day, seeing her with him, knowing that I should be happy for her but feeling nothing but jealousy."

If anyone can understand what he's going through, it's me. "You'll do it. You'll fake it. And after a while, you'll believe it."

"Is that what you've been telling yourself?"

"Yep. I knew as soon as I found out that she had a fated mate that she could never be mine. Even when we thought Serath was gone, I knew that our time, mine and hers, had passed. She would never be mine. I'd already begun to build a distance between us, to allow myself to begin to heal and hopefully move on when Serath returned so…Yeah, I guess I'm more prepared."

"And…did you talk to her about it?"

"Not really, not in so many words, but she knows. Cameron is smart. She realizes what I'm doing, and I'm grateful that she's giving me the space I need. It doesn't make it easy, though. Love simply doesn't stop."

"She stopped loving you." His tone is bitter, and I can't help the protective surge that rushes through me toward Cameron.

My smile is stiff when I reply. "She never stopped. She still loves me. But…not the way I love her, and nothing like the way she loves Serath. And I've come to terms with that…at least…I'm trying."

"I'm not sure I've got the emotional strength you have."

Is he serious? "Curi…you lay with her. Held her. Helped her find release so that she wouldn't be in pain. Then you let her go. If that's not emotional strength, then I don't know what is."

His jaw tenses. "I'm so…I'm fucking angry, Levi, and I know…I know I have no right to be but… Argh ."

"I get it. Trust me. I get it. It hasn't helped that the focus has been on Cameron for the last few weeks. Her pain. Her loss. She needed us. But she has Serath back now. We should take a step back and focus on the bigger picture. The faction."

He nods. "Yeah. You're right."

"Once this is over, the world is our oyster."

"What do you mean?"

Am I the only one who's considered what might happen? "We know the truth of the threat now, and once we stop it, everything will change. This whole system…the elites, the guardians…"

His eyes widen in comprehension. "Fuck…"

"Yeah."

"So you'll leave?" he asks.

"That's the plan."

"Where will you go?"

I've had an offer, one I'm seriously considering, one that I think would be perfect for Curi too. "How much do you know about the outer rims?"

He shrugs. "Not much. Just about the pockets of mundane."

"Have you heard of Grimm Isle?"

"No, what is that?"

"It's off the coast of the northernmost edge of the outer rims. There's an infection rampant there, and the authorities need help. There's a team being put together. Trained by Farnell."

"What kind of team?"

"I'm not sure. He didn't tell me. He said I'd have to commit before he could say more."

"Are you going to commit?"

The thought of leaving, of being far from Cameron, makes my gut twist, but I nod. "Yeah. Once I know Cameron is safe, then yeah, I'm going. You should come."

He looks away. "I don't know…"

"You don't have to know right now. There's time."

He rolls his neck on his shoulders and exhales. "You know what? I might be ready to run now."

"Yeah, me too."

But no matter how hard or fast we run, we won't escape our love for Cameron. Not today. Not for a long time.