Chapter 16

16

Atlas

Idon’t know what I’m doing, standing outside waiting for Troy to swing by and pick me up. It’s not as if I don’t have my own vehicle and can’t take my ass to McDonald’s all by myself. It’s also not as if I should be playfully entertaining this date idea anyway. Not that it’s really a date. Holy fuck, is it really a date? Usually I don’t freak out about shit like this. I’m sure Troy is running it over in his head a million times, and it’s a whole lot easier to leave that to him. Both of us don’t need to be overthinkers. But then again, are there really any rules to abide by when you’re talking about your stepbrother? The word date shouldn’t even be in our vocabulary, but considering I’ve had his dick in my mouth, playing around with flirty words is no big deal.

I’m leaning against the building when Troy’s car pulls up. He stops at the curb, looking at me expectantly, but I don’t move to go toward him. I can tell he sighs, and I have to bite back a smile. Frustrating him is one of my favorite things, making me get a tingle at the base of my spine and laughter bubble in my chest and—What the fuck? I shake my head like I can make those offending thoughts fall out. My brain is suddenly weird-ass poetry or lust letters to my stepbro.

Troy finally gives in and rolls down the window. “Are you coming or not?”

“Didn’t we do enough of that last time we were together?” I push off the wall and can see him flush from the fifty feet between us.

“Shh! What the fuck, A?” He sounds slightly nervous, but no matter how hard he’s clearly trying, he can’t wipe the grin off his face, as though thinking about orgasms with me makes him extremely happy.

I chuckle and get in the car. “No one heard me.” He’s already driving away as I buckle my seat belt. “You buying me dinner since this whole date thing was your idea?”

“I just mentioned I was going to McDonald’s. You’re the one who called it a date.”

“You’re the one who didn’t deny it.”

“That still means this was your idea.”

“Do you make all the boys you go out with pay? I thought you’d be better at this.”

“Stick to the dollar menu, and my debit card is all yours,” he says, chuckling, but wincing like he can’t believe we’re really having this conversation. “I don’t get you.”

I don’t get me either, and even more so lately. Though whatever this thing is doesn’t feel as wrong as it should feel. I can’t pretend the back of my neck doesn’t sweat when I think about what I told Troy, but the banter, and hell, even the sex, feels like the next level to what we’ve been doing for years. “At some point we had to step up our game,” I tell him, “and we did that. There’s no reason to stress about it.”

“First of all, how did you know that’s what I was talking about? And second, did you forget you’re straight?”

I drop my head against the back of the seat and close my eyes. “Clearly, I can’t be totally straight. You get my dick hard, Troy. That doesn’t happen between two straight guys.”

“But how…when… You know what? Hold that thought.”

He pulls into McDonald’s, and instead of going inside, heads for the drive-thru. He doesn’t need to ask what I want, which is typical for Troy when we go to McDonald’s, automatically getting me a ten-piece nugget, medium fry, and a Sprite, followed by his own order. Before I know it, he’s paying for our meal, getting the food, and driving away. “Where are we going?”

“Shh.”

“I’m not allowed to talk at all? I thought I just had to be quiet about the sex we had and whether I’m queer or not.”

“Nope. Everything. I can’t focus on you and drive right now.”

“But—”

“Shh,” he says again, and I can’t stop the laugh falling from my mouth.

“Whatever you say, lil stepbro.”

“You’re still talking.”

“You’re still replying.”

This time he ignores me. I watch him drive, which is a little weird, but don’t stop until he pulls into the lot by the greenway. Troy parks toward the back, under a tree, where there aren’t any other cars.

“Can I talk now?” I tease.

“Yes.”

“Were you trying to get me alone?” I pump my brows, and he rolls his eyes.

“I’m trying to be serious here for a minute, okay? I just… Have you been with other guys?” When I chuckle, he shakes his head. “I don’t know what’s so funny.”

“This whole conversation is about jealousy?”

“Jesus. No.” He takes the food bag from me, removes his own, then dumps the fries and the nuggets into the bag together, the way I always do. When he tries to hand them to me, I don’t move for a moment, struck…I don’t even know the word…stupid, I guess, that he would automatically do that for me. There’s no one in my life who pays enough attention to know how I eat my McDonald’s and then cares enough to do it for me.

Which means I should offer him something too, shouldn’t I? That’s the way people-ing is supposed to work. “You know I haven’t been with a guy. I told you that was my first BJ before it even happened.”

“That doesn’t mean you haven’t gotten your dick sucked by a dude, or jerked off, or fuck, a hundred other things.”

“Nope. I save my practicing for you.”

He stills mid-bite, holding his burger up to his mouth comically, and I can’t help but laugh again.

“I never know if you’re being serious or not. All I’m trying to say is, I’m here if you need to talk. No matter how confusing our relationship can be sometimes, you can always come to me.”

My heart starts doing the salsa or some other fast dance. The damn thing is beating too fast, and I don’t know why or how to stop it. What he said is…sweet. No one is sweet to me, and I’m not sure how to respond to it. “I’m not having a crisis about my sexuality. You get me hard. I like sucking your dick. I guess I’m bi. The end.” Reaching into my bag, I pull out a nugget and a few fries, biting into them together.

“Like?” He quirks a brow.

Shit. Damn it. Oops? “Liked. Past tense.”

We’re quiet for a moment, both of us eating, the silence not uncomfortable, and…maybe filled with curiosity?

“I liked it too,” Troy says.

“No shit. I had some of your load land on my face.”

He looks at me and grins in this way that feels similar to beating his chest in pride.

“Of course you like the thought of marking me.”

Troy blanches. “What do you mean of course?”

“You marked my ass once with your name, and now my face with your jizz. Don’t have to be a math genius to know one plus one equals two.” My dick twitches in my pants, which definitely isn’t supposed to happen. He can like marking me, but I’m not supposed to think it’s hot. “We should change the subject before you end up with another hard-on.”

“Projecting again, I see.”

I shrug and eat some more food. Troy does too as I watch the trees in front of us rustle in the wind. My mom loved windy days. She would lie in the yard and just watch the leaves move, while they sang her a lullaby. I miss that…looking out the window and seeing her.

“So, the volunteering?”

“Veto,” I cut him off.

“Dude, you have no problem talking about my cum painting your face, but you can’t talk about volunteering?”

I run a hand through my hair, having known this was coming. “I can’t do this with you, T. It’s why I don’t want anyone to know. It’s…mine.”

He nods. “Okay. I can respect that. Are we allowed to talk about the auction?”

“It’s next Friday at eight thirty. You have to be there at six to practice and get all the info. It’s pretty low-key. I gave Dixon your email address.” For whatever reason, my skin feels too tight and prickly. I brush my hand over my arms as if that will change anything.

“Sounds good.”

I feel him watch me while I eat, but I try not to make eye contact again. The air in the car shifts in a way I can’t explain. Goddamn Troy. What is it about him that gets me all…everything.

“So, remember that time you thought I couldn’t ace my test and I did?” he asks playfully, breaking the silence, and like it seems to happen so easily around him, I let another laugh free.

“I’m gonna get you back, lil stepbro. Just you wait and see.”

He looks at me, his brown eyes somehow darker and more intense. “I’m counting on it.”

I shift in my seat, willing myself not to let the innuendo turn me on. I lose.

We stay on safe topics after that. He asks about my classes, and I do the same. We’ve reached a truce, at least for today.

Almost as soon as we finish eating, my cell buzzes with a text from Brenner: Wanna hang?

I don’t. I mean, no offense to him. He’s my boy, and though we give each other a lot of shit, I like spending time with him, but part of me wants to sit right here and see where this conversation with Troy will go. On the other hand, I’m also a prickly bastard who doesn’t want it to get too deep, and I have a feeling it could. I text Brenner that I’ll be home in fifteen, then give Troy my attention again.

“You ready? I’m gonna chill with Brenner and Taylor.” They’re always together, so I assume if I’m getting a text from B, Taylor is with him.

“Sure.”

Is it me, or does Troy look disappointed?

He drives me home, and of course Brenner is walking up as we arrive. He doesn’t go to my window, instead going to Troy’s. I try not to grumble.

“You gonna come in and chill with us?” Brenner asks him. “Taylor’s on his way.”

“No,” I snap before Troy can reply. I know that tone—it’s Brenner’s I’m gonna try and get in your pants voice. I don’t give a shit whom he fucks, except it’s not going to be Troy.

“Aw, come on, Atlas. I think Troy wants to hang out with me. Don’t you?”

Troy is watching me, and I see the hurt in his eyes, see that he thinks I said no because I don’t want to be around him. That should be the reason I’d rather he didn’t come inside.

When I look away, he turns to Brenner.

“Nah, I’m good. I have other stuff to do.”

Don’t ask him what, don’t ask him what, don’t ask him what.

“I’ll text you later,” I say, not wanting to be a total dick, but also annoyed at myself for being jealous of other guys wanting Troy.

This is already getting difficult, and I have a feeling we’re just going to keep getting more and more entwined.