Chapter 29

Newt began to envy people in sexual relationships. Taking photographs of the chest, butt, and genitals seemed easy compared to snapping a nice picture of himself. Every selfie he took, he immediately checked and decided he looked more like an alien than when he'd lost his eyebrows.

He sighed, loud enough to attract Mickey's attention on his way to his room.

"What's up?"

"What kind of pictures do you send to Aaron?"

"Erm…"

"Excluding chest, butt, and genital snaps."

"My guns of course," Mickey said, flexing his arm.

"I mean something nonsexual."

"I don't know." Mickey shrugged. "I took a picture of a barn owl the other day and sent it to him."

"A barn owl?"

"Yeah, it was in the oak tree outside the house. Want to see?"

Newt nodded.

Mickey pulled out his phone, whistling while he scrolled through his pictures. "Here." He sat down on the bed beside Newt. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yeah."

"It was a lot smaller than I thought." He locked his phone. "I send him random pictures. The other day I found this strange mushroom that looked like a penis, and that immediately needed photographing and sending to him. And if I make a particularly gross protein smoothie, I send that. I send random things to make him laugh."

"But you don't send him pictures of yourself…looking like yourself."

"Huh." Mickey rubbed his chin. "I guess it's kinda weird."

"Weirder than a mushroom penis or a disgusting drink?"

"Let's give it go," Mickey said, unlocking his phone. He held it out in front of him, snapped a selfie and sent it with no hesitation.

"Are…are you not worried you look stupid?" Newt asked.

"It's my face, Newt. Aaron knows what it looks like. He's seen me at my best, and at my worst."

Aaron responded with a thankfully innocent picture of himself in a shirt and tie, with a background of other men and women in shirts and ties behind him, clearly at his office.

"He hates his job." Mickey sighed. "I keep telling him he's onto something with Leo, that maybe they should try writing something original, but he's worried he'll fail. Has Leo said much about what he wants to do when he's out?"

"I've not asked him."

"It's just a thought," Mickey said, "Here…" He picked Newt's phone off the bed. "Smile."

Mickey snapped a picture. "Send him that, and…send him other stuff that will remind him of you."

"Thanks," Newt whispered, taking his phone back.

In the end, he picked five photographs to send to Leo. One of himself, the one Mickey had quickly snapped of him sitting on his bed. One of the moon through his telescope, one of Triton, one of his newly labelled rocks on the shelf, and one of a Victoria sponge cupcake from Stud Muffins.

Newt laid each photograph out on his bed, checking them before slotting them in an envelope destined for Brixton.

"Hey," Stone said, knocking on the open door. "Can I come in?"

Newt nodded and shifted along his bed to let Stone sit down.

"What's that?" Stone asked, flicking the envelope in Newt's hand.

"Photographs for Leo." Newt bit his lip. "So he has something to stick on his wall."

Stone nodded. "I had a picture of the four of us. Jude has it now. It's on his fridge in his apartment." He snorted. "It still smells faintly of toothpaste."

"I know the one," Newt admitted. "Us as kids."

"Me, Jude and Mickey as kids, you as a baby."

"I'm not a baby anymore."

"I know." Stone chuckled. "I can't help being protective of you, though. I'm so fucking relieved you're out of that place, but I know it's selfish of me. I know you miss who you left behind, and it's hit you hard."

"I was only there for eighteen months. You were inside for ten years."

"I was very focused when I got out. I didn't think about the people I left behind in Brixton. I only thought about the three brothers on the outside who had gone through hell without me. I wanted to make sure you were all okay, and happy."

"We are happy, and if it wasn't for you, we probably wouldn't have all found each other again."

Stone nodded. "I'm not sure when Leo will be released, but I was thinking of inviting him to stay here with us." He met Newt's eyes. "I wanted to check that was okay with you first."

Newt twisted towards Stone. "More than okay."

"And if he did stay here with us, do you think he'd like me to set up the spare room for him…or do you think he'd rather…"

"Rather?"

Stone clutched his throat. "Stay in your room."

"I guess you'll have to ask him."

"Don't make this anymore awkward than it already is. I'm trying to ask, subtly, whether you're…together, you know, as a couple."

Newt frowned. "Couple of what?"

"Urgh, Newt," Stone groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"We've never put a label to it, not really." Newt bit his lip. "It's…it's a feeling. Us."

"A good feeling?"

"A really good feeling." Newt smiled. "I love him."

"Right." Stone nodded. "That's…good."

"And he loves me too."

"Also good," Stone said.

"You're not going to freak out and give him the whole ‘don't hurt my little brother' speech?"

"Do I need to?"

Newt shook his head. "But out of interest, did you with Luck and Aaron?"

"Oh yeah." Stone smirked. "Luck looked like he wanted to kill me, and Aaron looked slightly panicked as if I might convince Mickey to find someone else, but it's not my choice who they fall for, it's theirs, and Luck and Aaron are perfect for Jude and Mickey."

"Do you think Leo is perfect for me?"

"He makes you happy?"

Newt nodded.

"You trust him?"

"Yes."

"I liked him since the first time we met him." Stone looked away. "His condition, it's complicated, and cruel. He wasn't happy. I knew that it wasn't just the things he said, but the haunted look in his eyes, like he'd completely given up, and he looked even worse when I fixed his arm after the robbery."

"You should've seen him when he found out about Jude," Newt whispered. "It really scared me, how little he cared about himself, how empty he looked."

"When I visited him for the first time, after our initial sorting out of the Jude situation, he kept glancing over to you. There was so much warmth in his eyes when he looked at you. I was worried at first."

Newt frowned. "Why?"

"I didn't know what the looks he was giving you meant. I didn't know whether you'd be…comfortable with him looking at you like that, and I thought about bringing it up with him?—"

"Warning him off, you mean."

"Not warning him off, just…I don't know, asking about his intentions."

"Like I'm some princess?"

"No." Stone laughed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "But I spoke to Jude about it, and he told me not to get involved, so I didn't."

"Jude has literally unlocked the cell and come inside while we've been in the same bed. He didn't bat an eyelid, so I just assumed all cellmates slept in the same bed and spent most of the night cuddling."

Stone choked. He smacked his fist into his chest. "No. That is not the norm."

"Oh."

"You and he…"

"Don't do the sex thing," Newt blurted.

"It's none of my business?—"

"I know, but I just wanted you to know he'd never make me do anything I'm uncomfortable with. It's not about sex, it's never been about sex. It's…about intimacy, affection, finding a home in another person."

"Good. That's good."

Newt pulled an awkward face. "It's all good."

Stone laughed, wrapped his arm around Newt's back and pulled him into a hug.

* * *

Newt continued visiting, and writing, and talking to Leo as often as he could on the phone. Christmas arrived before he knew it. Stone questioned why Newt felt the need to slather his wall in toothpaste and make a collage Christmas tree, but when he explained it was his and Leo's new tradition, he'd backed out of the room with his hands raised in surrender.

Jude cooked for them, marvelling at the kitchen he'd helped design after the original one got destroyed in the fire. Luck and Hope came over, but Aaron was with Sophia at his ex's house for Christmas.

Newt was outside, looking at the stars when his phone buzzed. He smiled as he answered, knowing who was on the other end despite the phone always flashing unknown number.

"Hey," Newt whispered.

"You kept that secret."

Newt's smile climbed higher. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, Newt. I've put her up next to the photographs you sent me."

"Is it good?" Newt asked. "I mean, me and Scott talked about it when I visited, but I never saw it."

"I can tell you right now, this Cindy on my wall is the biggest badass bitch I've ever seen. Aaron will lose his mind when he gets to see her."

"Describe it to me."

"Scott said you designed her and commissioned him to do it?"

"I did, but I still want you to tell me what she looks like." He closed his eyes. "So I can picture her too."

"Cindy, in a black corset and knee-high boots, straddling a motorbike, smoking a cigar with two wolves at her feet. Half her hair is shaved to her scalp, she's got a nose ring, and black lipstick on, and she's wearing a crown, and behind her there's stacks and stacks of cocaine."

Newt inwardly thanked Scott. He'd included everything he'd asked for.

"It is, no word of a lie, one of the coolest things I've ever seen, and Scott's now designing tattoos for half the prisoners in here."

"He's super talented."

"Peter has already requested a ‘turn' with her."

"What?"

"I told him to go fuck himself…without Cindy."

Newt laughed. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I love it. How's Christmas going?"

Newt glanced back through the living room window. Mickey and Luck were arm wrestling over the coffee table. "It's going. I made a toothpaste tree like last year."

"I did too."

"Peter didn't mind?"

"Peter thinks I'm insane. We weren't locked down this year and actually managed to get onto the wing. Shaw invited us into his cell for some prison hooch. I didn't think it was possible, but it was more toxic than last year. While under the influence, Welsh tried to give Bull a haircut."

"Welsh is great?—"

"He gave Bull a haircut with a match and a can of deodorant. Shaw had to dunk Bull's head in the toilet to put his hair out. Scott was laughing so hard it attracted Riley's attention, and he kicked everyone out of Shaw's cell, only to appear twenty minutes later in a daze with messier than normal hair and swollen lips."

Newt grinned, clutching the phone. "Anything else?"

"Thomas sang "Silent Night" from the landing, and it was quite something. Even Jenkins looked a bit wet-eyed, and then, and this is the best bit, I called you, and got to thank you for my present, and then you told me all about your Christmas."

"I…I haven't done that yet."

"I know you haven't, so tell me now. How big is the Christmas tree?"

Newt turned to it. "So big we had to put it outside. We decorated it with silver baubles, but the next morning, they were all gone. Stone is blaming the crows and magpies, but Mickey is claiming that's a common misconception and they're no more likely to steal shiny things than other birds."

"Mickey knows about birds?"

"A lot more than I thought he did. Aaron got him some binoculars for Christmas, and he was so goddamn excited about using them, he ran straight outside in only his boxers and slippers to see if he could spot Barney."

"Barney?"

"The Barn owl."

"And Jude, did he dazzle everyone in the kitchen?"

Newt stroked his very full stomach. "He did, and he had some help from Hope this year, so he didn't exhaust himself."

"Stone?"

Newt turned back to the window. "Is keeping the peace and currently supervising an arm-wrestling match between Mickey and Luck."

"Who's winning?"

"I'd say they're evenly matched. It's been going on so long Robin's fallen asleep on Stone's lap."

"Triton?"

"Is being pampered by Hope."

"And you're on desserts?"

"Yep, Christmas pudding, Christmas cake, chocolate log, a strawberry?—"

"Newt," Leo whined. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry." Newt snorted. "You did get that cupcake from Jude, right?"

"The Victoria sponge one he smuggled in?"

"Yes."

"I did, and I scoffed it down as soon as I was alone, but I do like other flavours. That day when I said I was vanilla…I wasn't actually talking about cakes."

Newt bit his lip to stop his smile before using his best innocent voice. "Weren't you?"

"I was…I was talking about how…unexciting I was in the bedroom."

"I'd say bringing cake into the bedroom was pretty adventurous. Stone and Robin do it all the time."

Leo groaned. "Too much information."

"Scott told me what being vanilla meant ages ago. Along with a load of other terms I've always been too afraid to google."

"Like what?"

"Golden showers, for example."

"I see." Leo cursed softly away from the phone. "Jenkins is calling time."

"Already?"

"I know, mean bastard, right? Tell the others I wish them a merry Christmas."

"I will," Newt said softly.

"And thank you again for my present."

"Scott drew her."

"But you designed her and paid him to."

Mickey tapped on the window and mimed eating.

"I've got to go too, Mickey's demanding to be fed."

"Merry Christmas, Newt."

"Merry Christmas, Leo," Newt echoed back.

"And one last thing…"

"What?"

Newt detected the smile in Leo's voice.

"I've got my release date. Only six more weeks…then I'll be home. For good."