Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

THEO

I still felt overexposed from revealing to Bennett just how much I was into him. I found myself torn between wanting to hold back and wanting to jump in with both feet.

Bennett's hand moved up and down my back while the other held my hip to keep me from moving off his lap. "First, tell me about you. Have you been dating anyone recently? Or… more than dating?"

The way his gaze stayed on me as if trying to read my face—a little anxious, a little hopeful—helped me make the decision. No holding back.

I ran my hand up his neck into the back of his hair so I could toy with it and shook my head. "I have a friend. Rae. They've been my bestie for years. And we never messed around or anything—I don't think they were ever attracted to me that way—but we were… comfortable. They saw me in a way that not a lot of people in O'Leary do. Took me seriously, you know? So for a while there, I sort of thought we'd end up together."

"Really." He frowned. "Why didn't you?"

"Because they moved out west, and— Actually, no. That's not true. They did move, but I think the real issue was that I was confusing different kinds of love. I never got that roller-coaster belly-swoop with them." I made a rolling motion with my hand to demonstrate. "They're wonderful, and I love them, but they don't light that fire inside of me the way…" I stopped because I couldn't quite express exactly what I felt.

"I get it," he said softly.

"Yeah?"

Bennett leaned forward and kissed me, clasping the back of my head in his big hand and holding me right where he wanted.

The roller coaster swooped and looped. It dragged me up to the highest highs and let me go until my stomach felt weightless.

"That," I whispered into his kiss.

"Mmmm… straight fire," he murmured.

We made out at the table until I was ready to beg for him to take me back upstairs and fuck me into his mattress. I pulled out of the kiss with a gasp. "Swim," I blurted. "We should swim. For real this time, not just a dunking."

He studied me with a dazed look before his mouth curved into a knowing grin. "I have to admit that taking a swim with you has featured very high on my bucket list lately."

I climbed off his lap and teased him when he stood and nearly stumbled on dead legs. "Watch it, Grandpa. Those things don't work the way they used to."

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, but then he opened them and pointed at me with an exaggerated scowl. "Back in my day, legs worked the way they were supposed to. None of this going to sleep business."

He'd loaned me a pair of swim trunks when we'd gotten dressed for dinner, so we went straight outside after filling some plastic tumblers with a refill of wine and hopped in.

We spent over an hour talking and drinking in the pool while we watched the sun turn from gold to pink to purple in the distance. Bennett told me how he'd gotten into architecture and explained that he owned a small firm in the city.

"Are you moving back there when Vega graduates?" I asked hesitantly, not knowing if I was getting too personal too soon.

He inhaled slowly. "I always thought I would. My sister's job in Lisbon is only a two-year contract. But…" He glanced back at the sunset and then at the observatory tower. "I don't know. I like it here. I've always liked it here."

I looked up at the house and then at the lake. I could see why he liked it so much. If I lived here, I'd never leave. "Your grandparents built the place, right?"

Bennett smiled. "Yes. My grandfather's family owned probably half the land around the lake at one time—all the way from here to Wrigley Campground."

"Whoa." My eyes went round. "What happened?"

"The usual—when the land passed to different branches of the family, a lot of them chose to sell. My grandfather never considered it. He was a professor of astronomy at Wesleyan, but he loved this place and came out as often as he could. He drew up the designs for this house and did a lot of work on the telescope himself. When he passed the place to my dad, it was with the express stipulation that it not be sold off but passed down. My parents came out here a lot because they loved the lake, but stargazing was never my dad's thing. As soon as I could afford it, I bought the place from them. And I like the idea of passing it down to the next generation, too, someday." He smiled warmly. "Teaching them to be stargazers."

"I think that's amazing. Family is important." I looked around again, watching as the last fingers of color lit the sky above the trees. "And this place is… it's home, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he said roughly. "It is. I don't think I appreciated how much this place had its hooks in me until recently." Bennett took another sip of wine and set the tumbler down before reaching for the end of the pool noodle I was resting my arms on. He used it to drag me closer. "What do you think, Theo Ross? Would you like to stargaze with me?"

"Absolutely. I know the people around the lake come out to the observatory for meteor showers and stuff sometimes, but I've never been invited, and I've always wanted to see the inside." I reached out my legs to wrap around his. "I've never even looked through a telescope before, even a small one. All my stargazing has been sort of… theoretical."

After my admission, I asked him about the constellations he'd mentioned in the logic puzzles, and he told me, not just filling in the gaps in my knowledge but telling me stories about each constellation, too—the mythology behind them, the times he'd spent looking for them with his grandfather. The philosophy behind them.

If it had been possible for me to fall even harder for Bennett Graham, the way his eyes warmed—and, yes, crinkled —when he talked about his grandfather would have done it.

"And what about the logic puzzles?" I wondered. "Is that your grandfather's influence, too?"

"No, my dad's. Sort of. He introduced me to them, and I've always loved them, but it wasn't until Vega started filling my puzzle books in when she was about ten that I realized she had a gift for solving them. That's when I started making them. I'd email them to her as an excuse to keep up a conversation with her over the long distance. At that time, they lived in Boston, and I was in New York. I only saw her when they came to Copper County during her summer break or if I visited them at the holidays."

"I think you're possibly the best uncle ever. And it's not just me who thinks so either," I added. "Most of O'Leary thinks you're pretty awesome for stepping up the way you did and taking care of your family."

Bennett waved off the praise. "I love Vega. It's hardly a chore. And it means I'm here… which is turning out to be even more rewarding than I thought it would be." Smiling, he reached out to run his fingers through my hair again. It made me feel like purring. "Now, tell me about your art." His voice was low and carried a sultry quality. "Don't think I didn't notice that you haven't talked about it at all, even though I asked."

I felt comfortable enough to confess the truth. "I'm scared to turn my passion into a career."

His eyes were soft and understanding. "I feel that," he admitted. "It's tough sometimes."

"Maybe I'm a procrastinator. Or a loser. Or just chickenshit."

Bennett's hands moved around my waist to my back and pulled me even closer. Being connected to him physically felt natural and safe. Welcoming and exciting at the same time.

"I doubt it. What would your ideal situation look like? Do you know?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I want to draw what I'm inspired to draw. And then get paid enough money for it to keep the lights on and to be able to afford to replenish my supplies."

"Have you tried doing exactly that?"

I felt a little stupid. "No. I don't know what that would look like."

He pulled us over to the edge again so we could take another sip of wine. "You're so talented. You could start by creating whatever art you want and posting it on social media. Then, you could either monetize your content or simply link to an online marketplace where you sell your work. It would take time to build your platform, but it doesn't sound like you're in a hurry."

"What makes you think I don't already have social media for my illustrations?" I asked, watching Bennett carefully in hopes his answer revealed something of himself.

My observation was rewarded.

"Because I searched. At least, I searched by your name. I looked everywhere, and…" He seemed to realize what he'd admitted. He stopped and blushed red to the top of his ears. "No luck," he finished in a strangled voice.

He tried letting me go, but I grabbed onto him, shoving the pool noodle away and wrapping my arms around his neck instead. "Tell me how hard you looked, Bennett," I teased softly.

"I'm thirty-seven," he said, as if breaking terrible news.

"Ouch. Does it hurt as much to say as it does to hear?"

His eyes snapped up to mine, but I stopped him with a kiss before he could say anything. Just as before, the kiss awoke something in him, something dominant and half-wild. Something delicious.

"Don't care about your age, old man," I said between kisses. I felt giddy with joy. Giddy enough to keep talking. "I've wanted you for a long time."