Chapter 38

38

Karma

We didn't get to the dessert, after all.

After I came, he'd taken off his shirt and made me wear it over my torn dress. Then he'd scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his bedroom. We hadn't encountered anyone on the way. Not Cassandra, not Paolo. Apparently, his staff knows when to make themselves scarce. And, yep, he broke his own rule for us to have separate bedrooms. Score!

I had fallen asleep promptly. When I woke up, he was gone. I had spent the rest of that day working on my dress, with Andy for company. Oh, also I'd moved my things into his room, and he hadn't said anything.

It might be because I didn't see Michael all that day, or for that matter, on any of the days that followed our reconciliation. Cassandra mentioned to me that he has been deep in negotiations with rival clans to restore some semblance of peace in the country.

This means that the security around the house has been tripled… Or so she tells me. Not that I can tell the difference. For all practical purposes, I am still a prisoner of sorts in the house.

At least, I have the preparations for the upcoming party to keep me distracted. At some point though, I know I have to pick up the phone and call Summer. At some point, she is not going to be happy with just the text messages that I send her.

She has promptly replied to all of them, and by all indications, she seems deliriously happy in her marriage to Sinclair Sterling… So that lessens the guilt somewhat.

Still, I suppose I'll have to tell her the truth of my condition at some point. Just not yet. Maybe after the party…? Maybe once I've gotten to know my husband a little better? Okay, so they are excuses, but once the party is over, I'll have time to think and decide what I want to tell her, you know?

I sit back, taking in the creation I have been working on, then stretch. Just one more week to go. It will be touch-and-go, but hopefully, I'll be able to complete it.

The morning sickness has abated somewhat, and I am finally getting my taste back. So, I can actually taste what I am eating, which is a relief. There's a knock on the door, and I turn to find a familiar figure at the entrance.

"Oh, my gosh!" I jump up, "Aurora, is that really you? How did you get here? Are you okay?"

She nods, then smiles uncertainly, "Can I come in?"

"Of course," I admonish her, "you don't need to ask me that."

She walks over to me, her doctor's satchel in her hand. I meet her half way, hug her, and she feels thinner, frailer than before. I step back, take in her pale features.

"You've lost weight," I murmur. "What did they do to you? They didn't mistreat you or anything, did they?"

She shakes her head. "They didn't do anything to me. Actually, that's the problem."

"Huh?" I step back, "What do you mean? I was so worried about you. When I realized that Michael knew about your part in helping me escape, I was so worried. I know it's not something that he would forgive easily, and he refused to tell me what had happened to you." I peer into her features, "You are okay, aren't you?"

She nods, a ghost of a smile on her lips, "Physically I am okay." She swallows, "But emotionally, mentally… I… I am in a kind of limbo."

"Tell me everything." I lead her to a chair and she sits down, places her bag on the floor.

"They have me put up in a safe house, not far from the city. I can't leave, can't see anyone else. This is the first time I have been out since I went to the Capo and told him that you were pregnant."

I lean back in my seat. "What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me."

"I wasn't sure how you would react. And," she glances away, "I didn't want you to do anything rash and hurt yourself or anything, you know?"

"As if." I huff, "I have more sense than that."

"Well, you were in an emotionally vulnerable state, and I guess, I wanted to protect you."

"So, Michael was telling the truth," I murmur.

She jolts and I explain, "That's what he told me, as well." I frown, "Which still doesn't answer the question of what you are doing here."

"I was told that I am going to be your doctor until the birth of the child."

"You are?" I murmur. Apparently, Mika agreed to my demand, after all. I lean forward, taking her hand in mine, "I am so pleased about that."

"So am I." She smiles, and this time, her eyes light up with genuine pleasure. "And not only because it means I'll be allowed out of the house, but because I do actually like you."

I laugh, "I like you too." I rub her slightly chilled hand between mine, "When was the last time you ate? Why don't I get you something? I?—"

There's a knock and Cassandra shoulders open the door. In her hands, she carries a tray piled with plates of food. "I thought the two of you could do with some refreshments.

"You're a mind reader," I exclaim, "and the food is most welcome."

She walks in, places the tray on the table, then removes the covers. Delicious smells fill the room and my stomach growls. She steps back, "Enjoy." She smiles and turns to leave.

"Cassandra," I call out, "why don't you join us?"

She turns and glances between us, "Oh, no, I couldn't."

"Oh, please," I wave a hand in the air, "there's no one else in the house?—"

"Except Christian," Aurora corrects me.

"Christian?"

Aurora nods, "He picked me up and dropped me off at the door. He'll wait for me to finish and accompany me back."

"Wow, so they really are making sure that you don't escape."

"I have no intention of even trying," she mutters. "If I did, the Capo would not spare my family."

I bite the insides of my cheeks. She's talking about Michael, my Capo. The father of my child… The man who has pleasured my body and brought me to orgasm countless times. The man who is so concerned about the wellbeing of my child that he refuses to have sex with me. The man who puts my needs before his. The same man who, I know, is also capable of killing if the need arises.

Yeah, Michael wouldn't spare her family. He won't take betrayal of any kind lying down. That, I know, first-hand. I blow out a breath. "Well, I am glad he allowed you to come see me."

Aurora glances at the food and her stomach rumbles loudly.

I chuckle.

She laughs, "Oops, sorry. Not that they are not feeding me. Actually, I've been quite comfortable where I am, except for the fact that I can't leave the place or see anyone."

"I know how that feels," I murmur as I reach for a plate and offer it to her. "Please, help yourself." I turn to Cassandra, who's still standing, "You are joining us, aren't you?"

"Um," she shuffles her feet, "I?—"

"Please," Aurora glances up at her, "it will be so nice to listen to the voices of others instead of those in my head."

Cassandra laughs at that. "Fine, but just until lunch is over."

"And then, I still have to examine you." Aurora looks me up and down, "Not that you don't look good. In fact, you are positively glowing, but I need to make sure that you are completely okay."

"There'll be time after we eat."

Just then, Andy slips through the half open door and patters over to me, purring loudly. He brushes his body against my leg and I laugh, "You just ate, and this food isn't good for cats, I promise."

He tosses his head, and walks away toward his bed.

"The life of a cat," Aurora muses. "If only we could all be as single-minded about our needs."

"Speaking of," I turn to the food, "I know what I am going to be single-minded about for the next little while." I reach for a plate and pile mine high with helpings of Arancini (creamy risotto rice), Caponata (fried eggplant filled with celery, onion and tomatoes, and flavored with capers, pine nuts and raisins), and Busiate al pesto Trapanese (a fusilli-like pasta with pesto) . I reach for another pasta dish and pause, "What's this?"

"Pasta a la Norma," Cassandra explains. "It's one of Sicily's most famous pasta dishes. It's made with local tomatoes, eggplants, garlic, basil and ricotta salata , or saltedricotta cheese. It's called Norma after the nineteenth century opera of the same name. Both the dish and the music are regarded as true masterpieces."

"You really like to cook, don't you?" I observe.

She laughs as she places minuscule portions of the food on her plate, "It's the one thing that I can rely on. Food. It can't hurt you or break a promise to you…" Her words trail off. She blinks rapidly, then smiles a little too brightly, "I love cooking, and I love feeding people. It fills something inside of me to see them enjoy what I make. After all, we are what we eat, right?"

"Right," I murmur, exchanging glances with Aurora, who shakes her head. Yeah, she's right. This is not the time to delve into those cryptic comments. "So," I train my gaze on her, "did you always know that you wanted to become a doctor?"

Aurora tilts her head, "Actually, yes."

"You did?" Cassandra's gaze widens, "Like when? I mean, how did you know that was your calling?"

Aurora glances down at her plate, then at us, "My mother was sick a lot when I was growing up. I accompanied her on her hospital visits, saw how the doctors helped her. In the end, they couldn't save her, but I knew then, one day I was going to do my best to help other people too."

"I am so sorry for your loss," I reach for her hand and squeeze it, "I lost my mother when I was very young too."

"I lost a husband," Cassandra murmurs, then bites her lips. She turns back to the food and I glance at her shuttered face. Yeah, there is a lot of grief hidden under there, all right.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I venture, and she shakes her head.

"What about you?" she asks, "Fashion designing is obviously your passion."

"Yes, it is," I nod. "I became a fashion designer because it feels like a link to my mother."

"Was she a designer too?" Aurora asks.

"Not professionally, but from what my sister tells me, she loved experimenting with colors and patterns and styles. She stitched all of her own clothes, and my sister's clothes. I never really knew her, but when I'm creating a design, when I am lost in the palettes and textures and immersed in images of what the finished product is going to look like, that's when I am truly happy. That's when I feel closest to her."

"You miss her?" Cassandra's voice is soft.

"I never knew her," I glance down at my food, "but there was always a mom-shaped hole in my life; always will be."

"The pain never goes away." Aurora draws in a breath, "It just becomes a shadow that settles in your heart, one which you are not really conscious of, but which is always there when you look inside."

"And how does it feel now that you are going to become a mother, yourself?" Cassandra tilts her head at me, "Does it fill the hole in your heart somewhat?"

I start, shoot her a glance, but see only genuine curiosity on her features. Her choice of words though… It reminds me of the one secret that I am keeping from all of them…including myself. A secret which I hope I never have to acknowledge. Maybe if I ignore it long enough, it'll stop being real. At least, I can hope.

"You okay?" Aurora puts down her plate of food, then reaches over to take my hand, "Maybe we should carry out that examination now?"

"Let's finish our food first." I nod at her plate, "Please, I am completely okay, and I really want us to do justice to this tasty food that Cassandra has made for us."

"Speaking of," I frown, "it is you who cooked this food, right?"

She shoots me a curious glance, "Who else would cook?"

"Not that Larissa woman, who I met on the island, and who Michael introduced as his chef, I hope."

"He let go of her, shortly after," she replies.

"He did?" I blink.

"Yep, told her to pack her bags and leave the very next day."

"Oh, wow!" Another thing he'd done… For me? Because he knew I couldn't stand the sight of her? I bite the inside of my cheek. Had I judged him that harshly? And this was even before I had become pregnant… Had he actually already begun to develop feelings for me then? I shake my head. Either way, it's clear that he wants to make up for how things started between us. It's why he's allowed Aurora to resume her duties as my doctor. Something for which I am very grateful. Something which I hadn't thought he'd do in a million years. He actually compromised on some of his beliefs for this… And that is huge. And I want to show him how much I appreciate it, in my own way. I turn to the both of them, "You are both coming to my Christmas party, obviously."

"We are?" Aurora frowns.

"We are?" Cassandra gapes.

"Of course, you are," I tell Aurora. "And you," I scowl at Cassandra, "you'd better be there, no excuses.