Chapter 19

19

Luca

The moment the words are out, I regret them, for she freezes. She raises and lowers her eyelids slowly and her eyelashes brush over mine. A weird sensation coils in my chest and grows and expands until it seems to drag down my chest and sink to the pit of my belly, where it settles as if having found a new home. I swallow down the ball of emotion that has appeared in my throat from seemingly nowhere.

Her pupils are dilated, the black of them huge enough to bleed into her irises until there's only a circle of gold left. It's the sexiest, hottest thing I have seen in a long time. I see myself reflected in the sheen of darkness, and it feels like a precursor to what is to come.

Me. Her. Us. Me giving up my freedom for this inescapable connection that binds us. That I never agreed to...

Which is why I had proposed to her in the first place. A marriage of convenience for a short period of time, until my family was convinced I'd tried it and decided it wasn't for me. In one stroke, I'd have delivered on Nonna's last wish, and I'd have convinced my brothers that I'd given this entire marriage thing my best shot. Then, I'd go my own way and she'd go hers. I'd compensate her, of course, to make sure she wouldn't want for anything for the rest of her life. I'll be rid of her sassiness, her need to always have the last word, which drives me up the wall, her penchant for swearing without using any known four letter word which is so annoying, and also, so adorable.

Hold on. Did I use the word adorable in relation to her? Pets are adorable. She… a grown woman who agreed to be part of this business transaction that we came up with to benefit the both of us, is, on the other hand, simply vexing. I have to put distance between us while I figure out what to do with this arrangement I suggested. At the very least, I need to get control of my thoughts and slam my emotions back into the hole where I've buried them for all these years, until she came along, and with a snap of her fingers, opened that Pandora's box.

I'm not falling into the trap like my brothers did. All of them married and happy and shit. A status that is not for me. I will not allow myself to be vulnerable toward another person the way my mother did. She fell in love with my father, and look what happened to her. He broke her heart. He abused her until she finally dropped dead, in the prime of her life. I will not let myself develop feelings for another. Every time I've been emotionally dependent on another, it has only resulted in betrayal. In me being hurt. I've learned enough from my past. Enough that I will not walk into this trap set by her beauty, her innocence, her beguiling charm. I know better than that, surely.

"Fine." I lean back into the seat so the air in the car rushes between us. "I'll take you to your home."

"Eh?" She opens and shuts her mouth, "You mean, you'll?—"

"Take you back to your place. That's what you wanted, right?"

"You don't want me to stay at yours?" she bursts out.

I raise a shoulder. "My feelings don't count in the matter."

"And you mentioned it would be dangerous for me. You said the people who kidnapped me are still out there somewhere."

"I'll make sure you're picked up and dropped home from your play. I'll also post men outside your house."

She stiffens. "You will not. The last thing I need is more attention drawn to where I live."

"Take it or leave it." I curl a strand of her gorgeous dark brown hair around my finger. "Also, you won't be able to see the men guarding your place because they'll be discreet."

She pulls away and the strand of hair falls to the side. She tries to slide off, but I grip her hips and hold her in place. "I didn't tell you that you could move away, did I?"

"What stupidity is this? Can I sit back in my corner of the seat, please?"

"You'll sit there when I let you and no earlier."

"What are you waiting for then?" She folds her arms across her chest and pouts at me.

So fucking cute. A-n-d, I've officially lost it. She's endearing in the way that bees are when you see them buzzing around their hive. But let them close to you and you risk the chance of being stung. I'm making the right choice by returning her back to her home. It's best to keep her at a distance, until the wedding, and after. Especially after. My life will be much calmer without this pesky little thing hovering about and getting in the way.

I lift her and put her to the side.

She instantly shuffles away, putting as much distance between us as the seat allows.

"Seatbelt," I jerk my chin toward it.

She tosses her hair over her shoulder, but obliges me right away.

I lean forward and tap Massimo on his shoulder. "I assume you brought my phone?"

Massimo nods. Stronzo 's done his best to keep his eyes on the road and away from the rearview mirror. I suppose I should thank him for it. But he's my brother and a fellow member of the Cosa Nostra. I'd expect nothing less from him, and would have done him the same favor if the roles had been reversed.

He pulls out the device and hands it over. I shoot her a sideways glance to find her narrow her gaze on me. I chuckle. She huffs, turns her head to look out the window. I slide my fingers across the screen, texting.

"We're headed to her place," I tell Massimo.

"Is that wise?" He frowns at me in the rearview mirror. "Both of you were kidnapped. Surely, it's going to be safer if she stays with you?"

Next to me, she shifts in her seat.

"It's what I've decided. She's my fiancé, after all."

"The fiancé of the Capo of the Cosa Nostra . Word will spread that you're engaged to her, and that will only attract more eyes on her," he points out.

I squeeze the bridge of my nose. "I am the Capo , as you said. So do as I ask you to." My voice is sharp, and for a second, I regret it. But fuck that. I am the Capo . I've waited a long time to be able to command respect within the clan. Of course, respect can't be demanded, which is exactly what I did. I blow out a breath. "Cazzo. Mi ‘spiace," I apologize. "I didn't mean that, fratello . It's been a long day and I am tired. Also, it's what Nonna would have wanted."

I tack on the last because it is what Nonna would have insisted on, were she still alive. She'd ensured Christian and Aurora were apart until they'd been married, which had only made Christian more desperate to be with Aurora, though he'd fought the pull of the relationship until the bitter end. In fact, it's probably why Nonna made sure they were kept apart. I bet she knew exactly the kind of impact that would have on Christian. It's one of the reasons he moved up the date of their wedding, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to try to push back the wedding as far as I can, and ideally, try to elope so I can avoid the kind of circus my brothers had to go through.

Massimo's lips firm. "She doesn't have the keys to her place," he reminds me.

"I've already messaged Adrian. By the time we get there, he'll have found a way to open the door."

"No one can hack the lock in such a short time," she pipes up.

I shoot her a sideways glance. "Wanna bet?"