RELIEF

24

Aria woke the following morning more conflicted than she'd been the night before, which was really saying something. Against her wishes, her subconscious had conjured some pretty vivid dreams about Luka, with a mild appearance from Evelyn, and that was the last thing she'd needed.

As soon as she'd made it back to her room, she'd collapsed in her desk chair, shivers still tickling along her skin. But not from the chill of the water.

The way he'd looked at her last night, peered into her soul… She'd nearly told him everything. Had almost fallen for his sincerity. Clearly, she was desperate for affection if she'd nearly caved so quickly to his faint touch.

Gods , why didn't she sleep with Nyvia before she'd left? Maybe the lingering ache between her thighs wouldn't be nagging her so much… But a small voice in her head said otherwise. Maybe Luka was right, though. She needed to get some of what she'd been holding inside off her chest.

She rolled out of bed and quickly washed and dressed in her training leathers for the day, debating the entire time whether to take care of that ache herself. But the sun was already peeking through her window, reminding her of who would be joining them at the Sanctum the following day. And more than anything, she just wanted to talk to her friend.

She knocked on Taren's door. "Can I come in?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Taren pulled her through the threshold before she could take another breath, plopping her into the chair. "What's up?"

They sat opposite Aria on the edge of the bed that was already neatly made. Aria always admired that about Taren, their dedication to organization. She couldn't remember the last time she'd willingly made her bed. She turned her attention back to her friend's concerned face. "I need to… tell you something. And, uh. It's not great," she warned.

Taren's brow furrowed deeply. "Worse than finding out we're just a couple of bats?"

Aria wanted to laugh at Taren's attempt at humor but couldn't muster it. "Well, I'll let you be the judge of that. Just… promise me you'll keep an open mind."

"Always," Taren assured her, their face grim.

She twisted her hands in her lap where beads of sweat began to gather. "Right before we left Allar, the head librarian, Lemira, left a journal on my desk that she found in a pile. But it wasn't just any journal. It belonged to Amyr, Professor Embris's partner."

"Okay?" Taren's head cocked.

Aria hesitated. "Did you know Amyr?"

"Knew of her, mostly," Taren said. "We were technically on the Guard together, but I was brand new. She was well above my station. I only really saw her in passing."

Aria nodded. "Amyr's journal… She wasn't well, before she passed."

"I know," Taren said. "She was injured, right? "

"Well, sort of," Aria chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously, "but not in the way you think." She paused. "I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. The battle at the border was never supposed to happen. It was a mistake. And my parents and the rest of the Assembly covered it up to protect themselves for all these years."

Taren's eyes moved between Aria's, darkening. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

Aria groaned. "Amyr wrote about what happened at the border. She recounted everything in detail. And it was ugly." She steeled herself. "General Fulgara, Luka's father, met the Assembly at the river to ask them for a truce. And for their help widening the pass through the Mere Mountains to open the Dragon Province to more visitors.

"He said he wanted his son to grow up in a land of peace and sought to repair the tension among our realms. The Assembly agreed to his request." Aria finally met Taren's wary eyes. "As he shifted and flew into the air to cross the river and deliver the good news to his forces, someone on our front lines mistook his shifting for an act of violence against the Assembly and attacked him. The rest of the troops followed suit. They killed him, and the few shifters he'd brought with him unleashed their powers. I guess my parents tried to cease fire, but no one could hear them over the roars and shouting and…" Aria trailed off, some of the emotions she'd been hiding so diligently surfacing in the form of salty tears that slid down her cheeks.

"No," Taren shook their head violently. "That can't be true. There's no way—"

"That's what I thought too," Aria sniffled, wiping away the moisture, "but Amyr wrote about how they explained it to the rest of the guard, how they leaned into what everyone thought had happened. That General Fulgara meant to attack. But he didn't. And the Legion Council knew why he was going there, and he never returned. It's why Luka and the rest of the shifters have so much hate for fae. They've always known the truth. That we killed them in cold blood."

Taren let Aria's heavy words sit in their chest. "What if Amyr was lying? Or… what if the journal is fake?"

"Amyr took her own life because of it," Aria shook her head. "The injuries she died from were to her heart, her soul. They covered up her death to protect their lies. I think that's why Professor Embris never talks about her—she's too ashamed. What would Amyr gain by lying before she died? I don't think Lemira would have brought it to me if she had any reason to believe it was fake. I don't know how it came to be in the library… Maybe Professor Embris wanted it to be found, or maybe it got dropped there by accident. But… I hinted about it to Evelyn back at the Academy and she confirmed my suspicions with the way she responded. I think it's true. I'm planning to confirm it with my parents tomorrow, but… I wanted to tell you first."

Taren wore an expression of hurt. Pure betrayal. "Why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I didn't know how," she said honestly. "I didn't want to hurt you with the knowledge as much as it hurt me."

"Aria, you can't carry this much pain alone. If you can't share things with your closest friend, then who can you share them with?"

Aria looked at them weakly. "No one?"

"That was supposed to be a rhetorical question," Taren loosed a small laugh. "You're supposed to just feel bad about not telling me, that's all. I don't ever want you to keep things from me just to protect my feelings, okay? I'm an adult, I can handle it." They stood and pulled Aria into a hug. The two stayed there like that for a moment, sharing an embrace Aria hadn't realized she'd needed so badly. She squeezed tighter, her tears streaming down her face, spotting Taren's tunic.

"I think you should tell Luka," Taren muttered into the top of Aria's head.

"What?" Aria pulled away from Taren and wiped her face.

"Tell him what you just told me, that you've been kept in the dark your whole life. I don't know what you said to Evelyn but say it to him plainly. They probably don't know that your parents have lied all this time. I think he'll respect you a lot more if you're honest about what's going on."

Aria considered it before letting out a light scoff. "I don't think he needs to respect me any more than he already does." Taren looked at her curiously, so she continued. "We sat by the fountain last night and talked for a while," she said quietly. "I think he was flirting with me."

Taren's serious demeanor quickly became giddy. "What do you mean? Did anything happen? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"I walked away before it could," she replied sheepishly.

" Aria! " Taren slapped her on the knee.

" What?" s he cried. "I told you! I need to stay focused…"

Taren looked at her incredulously. "No, you need to blow off some steam."

Aria huffed. "Says who?"

"Says the person who can tell when you're wound too tight," Taren eyed her. "I told you it was time to get back out there. Let yourself have some fun, for once in your gods' forsaken life."

"You're taking this better than I expected," Aria said, going back to the entire point of this conversation. And trying to change the subject away from her pathetic love life.

"Look, we've had so much on our minds lately, what's one more thing? Maybe I just haven't processed it yet, which is totally possible. Will I hold a grudge against the Assembly? Probably. But what I want right now—more than anything—is for you to just be happy. We may only have a couple months left of our lives. Why not enjoy them?"

Damn , Aria thought. That was a stark reminder. She hadn't really thought about it that way. Leave it to Taren to put things in perspective. Aria shook her head. "I will never understand how you stay so optimistic all of the time.

"It's a secret," they replied, returning the grin. "You don't have to talk to him right now, but… Just think about it, okay? Or, shit, open up to Evelyn more, if she's the one that does it for you. I don't care. Just… let yourself be happy."

Aria shrugged. "Why not both?"

Taren beamed. "That's the spirit."