RESTLESS

17

The location of the Mere Mountain pass, directly north of the Legion Academy, had been the determining line for the separation between the Panther and Wolf Provinces long ago. It was where all three provincial borders of Denover met.

It was also the only place the other shifters could hope to enter the Dragon Province, so it made sense for it to be central to all of them, and easy to get to from the Legion Academy.

But it didn't feel central to Aria, at least not by the time the afternoon sun bore down on them.

Once again, Luka flew ahead, acting as scout and leading the way for the group. But even slowing his flight, he far outpaced the rest of them with his enormous wingspan. While the pass wasn't that far from the Academy, the headwinds made the flight far more difficult. The two fae battled the natural airflow as the non-winged shifters ran below them—a gray wolf, an auburn wolf, a black panther, and a tan panther—all gathered in a pack.

The sprawling Mere Mountain range stretched before them across the entire horizon. Clouds gathered at the top, almost hiding the snow that dotted their peaks. The base of the mountain range was green and brown with forest cover that grew sparser as the gray stone jutted higher into the atmosphere. Aria watched as Luka seemed to vanish behind an outreached rocky landing just above the tree line.

Roughly half an hour later, Aria and Taren neared the last spot where they saw the dragon disappear, their wings battered and beaten from a tough flight. As they approached, a clearing revealed itself. They spotted Luka still in his dragon form, head lowered, drinking from a small creek formed by ice melt.

Aria's mouth watered at the sight of the cold water.

The two fae landed roughly and immediately made their way to join him. Noticing their arrival, he shifted back into his mortal form and greeted them with a curt wave. Aria didn't bother to acknowledge the shifter as she bent and cupped her hands, pulling the cold, crisp water to her mouth in relief.

"Good flight today. I'm honestly impressed at how well you kept up," Luka put a hand on Taren's shoulder, careful to avoid the tired wing of the fae kneeling beside Aria as they drank in the delicious liquid.

"Mother of Mallium, that wind was a killer," Taren took a break to gasp. "We lost the others…"

"Oh, they know where they're going. They just have to come up the trail on foot. They should be here soon," Luka clarified, assessing the sun that had already begun to hide behind the far western peaks. Aria rose and followed his gaze, admiring the view. She'd never been up close to the Mere Mountains before, only seeing them from a distance until recently. The only other mountain range she'd visited were the ones that separated Zephyr from Erdane, and those paled in comparison, feeling more like sharp hills than the crests that surrounded them now.

The rocks that made up the area around them resembled a starry night—dark gray, speckled by ivory and tan splotches. Below them, the trees started sparingly and then filled out further down the slope. As they caught their breaths, Aria felt a chill start to set in despite the summer air. At their current altitude, it was quite a bit cooler than it had been at sea level that morning. She was grateful she'd packed an extra blanket with her sleeping roll.

Luka offered his hand to help her stand, which she took gratefully. She stretched her wings, inspecting the golden leathery skin that extended along them for any signs of injury. Finding none, she let them sag behind her in exhaustion, but quickly hid them when she noticed Luka staring. His eyes met hers and he quickly looked away.

She huffed and busied herself unloading her pack from the heap that lay by the creek. Since Luka couldn't carry all of them over the mountains, he had at least offered to haul everyone's packs up here in a makeshift satchel that had been attached to his back.

Luka took the hint and continued piling firewood into a stack. It looked like he'd been busy before they got there, uprooting a few trees with his jaws and crushing them into smaller logs for tinder.

By the time grumbles from the other shifters rose from the trail below them, he'd blown flames onto the piled wood and nursed a growing fire for them to use to warm themselves throughout the night. Stars began to twinkle in the dusk sky as the wolves and panthers prowled onto the landing. Just like the fae had done, all four immediately made their way to the creek for a refreshing drink.

Aria took a seat next to Taren on one of the larger logs Luka had rolled up to the fire. She watched as Leah shed her auburn fur for her mortal body, clad in typical shifter-black training leathers, Kam following suit.

The panthers, however, just jumped right into the icy water, Finn surfacing with a little yowl from the cold that cut through his thick coat. Evelyn's dark snout bobbed above the surface as she made her way back to the land and pulled herself out of the water. As she shook the water loose from her fur, chilled droplets splattered Kam who still stood by the stream.

"Hey!" he signed at her aggressively, but his laugh gave him away.

Evelyn shifted back into her mortal body seamlessly and slicked her sopping wet hair back from her face, wringing out the excess water. "Gods that felt good," she moaned, the relief she'd gotten from the brief, brisk dip evident. Finn did the same beside her, losing his tan fur for his blonde hair.

"You guys are absolutely insane," Leah shook her head and sat on the log across from Aria, warming her hands near the fire.

Luka distributed some bread, jerky, and cheese they'd packed for dinner, the remaining shifters finally joining the rest of the group around the rich flames. Conversation was minimal as they devoured the food, all of them famished.

Taren was the one to break the silence. "So… What should we expect tomorrow?"

"Probably death," Kam signed across the fire, his normally bright face unwaveringly serious.

Leah smacked him and he erupted into a hearty laugh. "Stop that," she said. "They've been through enough already." She looked at them with an apologetic smile.

Luka chimed in. "It'll be a rough climb for a bit, and then a steep descent until you get to a place where the air is thick and warm enough for you two to take off and get some traction. The squad will follow behind on foot. I'm going to fly ahead and meet with the staff, but I'll keep a close eye on the mountains in case there's any trouble."

Aria's mind wandered as Taren continued talking to them about the mountains and their impending trek. She didn't want to think about it. Her gaze shifted from face to face, studying the camaraderie among this group of shifters. Envy coursed through her.

She didn't really have a group like this at home. Taren's friends were always welcoming, but she could feel that she was on the outskirts. It didn't help that her parents kept her at home like a pet. Maybe if she lived at the Institute like most of the other students, things would be different.

Did her parents miss her? Or were they too self-absorbed to even notice she'd left? The thought made her chest tight. Could it be true, what Amyr claimed? Had they really lied to cover themselves?

Everything Evelyn had said that night on the beach confirmed the information in Amyr's journal entries, but was there a small chance she had interpreted them incorrectly? Perhaps. She wasn't sure how she would settle her suspicions once and for all. But she had to. Somehow.

She wanted so badly to forgive her parents. Absolve them of their wrongs. But she couldn't shake the storm cloud of betrayal that loomed over her.

"Right?" Taren nudged her, pulling her out of deep thought.

"Sorry, what was the question?" Aria was grateful for the darkness that had settled in around them as her cheeks turned rosy.

"I was just saying we could really use a bard right about now. Maybe some wine…" Taren's smile faded. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed. "Just a lot on my mind." Her eyes remained fixed on the flickering mosaic of the fire.

Luka changed the subject. "Aria and I can take the first watch," he said, which got her attention. "If you're so deep in thought, I'm sure you'll have a hard time sleeping anyway. Might as well put that brain to good use and help me keep an eye out, right?"

Aria's eyes narrowed, annoyed at the fact he'd volunteered her. Even if she probably would have offered.

"I can take the next shift," Finn said. "I'll go start setting up bedrolls."

"I'll join you," Taren added, standing to follow Finn's lead. "Just wake me up when you're ready to rest, Aria."

The two began heading down into the forest where the ground was much softer, cushioned by moss and dropped leaves, to set up the group's sleeping arrangements for the night.

Aria's eyes drifted to Leah and Kam who were huddled close together, Kam's hand running the length of Leah's arm tenderly. "We're, uh… Going for a walk. To admire the scenery," Leah said, not breaking eye contact with Kam. Luka shared a glance with Evelyn, both understanding what they really meant.

"I should have brought my ear plugs," Evelyn laughed as the two wolves sauntered off in the opposite direction of Taren and Finn. The panther looked between Luka and Aria, sitting side-by-side on the log. "Wake me if you need me," she directed at Luka.

"We'll be fine," he replied. Evelyn just grunted and swished away from the fire.

The stars were shining brightly now, some of which Aria swore she'd never seen before. Luka joined her in admiring them. "The sky feels different up here. Clearer."

"Yeah. It does." A shiver ran through her.

"Here." Luka lifted the blanket she had packed from the ground behind them and wrapped it around her. He must have grabbed it without her realizing. She eyed him warily before adjusting it, gripping the corners under her chin. "You're the only one who brought one, I figured you might want it when it got dark."

The act felt intimate, though she supposed it wasn't anything Taren wouldn't have done for her. Maybe he was trying to make up for their less-than-desirable interaction after dinner last night.

She met the flames that danced in his rounded eyes, noticing true kindness in them for the first time. Guilt washed over her at the fact he felt the need to explain himself. Ever since she'd taken him down on the mat, he'd been nothing but respectful to her. Tender, even.

"Thank you," she said, feeling his gaze lingering on her. "That was… kind of you."

"I understand having a lot on your mind," Luka said. "You can talk about it, if you want." He waited for her to say something, but where would she even start? The pause stretched before he broke the silence. "We're in the same position right now, you and me. I probably know better than most how you're feeling."

Aria chewed the inside of her cheek. It was a fair point. Though she couldn't imagine he knew how it felt to have your parents execute innocent people for the sake of pride and then lie about it to you, and the entire kingdom. "It's just… a lot," she pulled the blanket around her, tightening the wrap and seeking the warmth she desperately needed. A warmth no amount of fire could provide.

Now was the perfect opportunity to come clean to him about what she'd learned, but she didn't know how to approach it, and it chilled her further. She turned and found him still watching her intently. Aria took a deep breath, steeling herself. Here goes nothing, she thought.

"I guess… I just want you to know how sorry I am for the death of your father. I know it probably sounds empty, coming fr om me…" She paused. "I told Evelyn this the other night, but I've learned a lot lately—about our history, what happened that day. I can't begin to imagine the weight of losing him so young. And I… I don't know. I'm just sorry."

There. She'd said it.

"I—" Luka hesitated, letting out a heavy exhale between tight lips. "I appreciate you saying that."

Oh, thank the gods , she thought as her shoulders relaxed. She hadn't realized how tightly she'd been holding them.

"I miss him every day," he continued. "He was an amazing man."

"Tell me about him," she said, eager to get him talking so she wouldn't have to fill the silence.

"What about him?"

"I don't know," she said. "What was he like? What were they like together?"

A small smile tugged at his lips. "Well… He was kind, I guess. More than anything, he was kind. Very different from my stubborn mother. I got my tattoo to honor him, actually," Luka referenced the whorls Aria had noticed during their match. "I got the gray to represent the bond between them. My father's scales were once as deep a black as mine but had lost a bit of their luster by the time he was killed. Eventually, they probably would have faded to the color on my back—" Aria watched his face contort as he trailed off.

She'd heard of bonded pairs whose magic changed, merged. It was so incredibly rare, no one really understood how it worked. Her own parents certainly didn't fit that description, and she hadn't heard of many who did. The fact Luka's father was one of them gnawed at her. Just one more reason to feel guilty that his life was taken so unnecessarily. "Your mother, is she light in color, then? "

His eyes were far away as he answered. "She was white. Pure white, like your hair," he said without looking at her. "Now she's more of a deep silver…" he paused. "I've still never witnessed a love like theirs. It changed them both in the most beautiful ways."

"I can't even imagine the hurt your mother endured," she said.

"Endures," he corrected her gently. "She won't say as much, but I think it's a chore for her just to wake every day. It's why so many forgive her for her crass demeanor. Her work is the only thing that keeps her going."

"Of course." Aria could admire the woman for continuing to persevere after losing so much, with so much of her life ahead of her. So much of their lives together. Even if it broke her heart, it helped her to hear about them. To talk, instead of wallowing in her thoughts, for once. "If you don't mind me asking… Why was she the one to take his place?"

He looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, they don't teach us much about shifters, and I've been a little busy preparing for my own rein one day."

He scoffed. "What do you know about us, oh-so-important Princess?"

"Uh… Well," she rubbed the nape of her neck, suddenly embarrassed about how little she knew about Denover politics. "I know that once a decade each province holds an election to vote for their General. And that's about it."

He gave a sarcastic laugh. "That's it? Really?"

"Are you going to judge me some more or help me learn?"

"Okay, Princess, you want a history lesson? Fine," Luka sighed. "The Generals are usually elected based on their power, status, and leadership ability. Once elected, the Council themselves will elect a Head General—as my father was, and mother is now. Usually that seat falls to whoever holds the most power, almost always a dragon. I can't recall a time when it wasn't a dragon, honestly."

Okay, full blown history lesson, then. She nodded slowly, trying to digest it all. "But your mother wasn't technically elected, right?"

"Well, not at first. Once elected, each General chooses someone as their second, just like in our squads. Should something happen to them, that person steps in. After two years in the role, we hold a special election to confirm that person as General until the next full election—or replace them. As long as they've proven themselves, they'll be confirmed." Luka stared into the fire as he rubbed his palms together. "So, when my father was elected, he named my mother as his second. She was then confirmed and continues to be re-elected."

"Ah," Aria said in understanding. "And you are her second, right?"

"Right," he confirmed, his eyes still glued to the flames. The snark in his tone had worn off, replaced by something darker. There was a heavy silence before he said, "Except I hope I'll never be in the same position she was."

Aria watched his eyes follow the embers as they floated, disappearing into the sky. Regret coursed through her that the conversation had upset him. "I hope that, too," she said solemnly.

"And I hope all of her work, the work of my father before her…" he trailed off with another pause. "This may be our last equinox. I just… I hope their work won't be for nothing." He sighed, suddenly snapping out of his trance with a shake of his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this."

"It won't be," Aria stated confidently, "for nothing, I mean." She turned and faced him, tracing the shadows along his cheeks, under his dark lashes. "We're here together now, right? That's half the battle, if you ask me. If we can rally our troops, and hopefully figure out what it is we're facing, we will make it through this. All of us." Instinct urged her to place a soft hand on his knee in comfort. He looked at her hand, and then her, and she quickly removed it. "I mean, if you had told me a month ago that I'd be sharing a nice conversation around a fire with a shifter, let alone Luka Fulgara , I would have laughed in your face. Now look at us," she shrugged, trying to lighten the mood, and gave him a tiny grin.

"Is this Aria Zephyr making a joke ? By the gods, I never thought I'd witness such a thing," he let out a half-hearted chuckle.

"Don't get used to it," she turned back toward the flames which began to die out. Luka noticed it, too, and stood to gather a few more chunks of wood, tossing them in gently. As the fire shifted and settled, a howl came from the direction Leah and Kam had disappeared to earlier. At that, they looked at each other and both started laughing heartily.

"Shifters are obviously not known for our modesty," he shook his head. "Although, I suppose Leah and Kam are a special case. We suspect they may be a bonded pair. They've been attached at the hip for as long as I can remember." What was that in his voice? Admiration? Jealousy? She couldn't quite place it. He added, "I hope their noises don't bother you because I must warn you, this likely won't be the last we hear from them."

"Not at all," her smile faded. Aria clicked her tongue against her teeth, "To be honest, I was beginning to think my books had misinformed me about your kind."

"Oh, that romance you're reading got it exactly right," he smirked, looking down at her as he stood over the fire. He cocked his head. "I didn't take you for the yearning type. What, you and Taren aren't—?"

Aria choked out a laugh. "Gods, no. No. I mean, we slept together once. But we're just friends. Nothing more." Why did he care? And why was she sharing that information with him, for that matter? But if he could ask, so could she… "You and Evelyn—?"

"Ah," he let out a huff, "not anymore."

There was that pang in Aria's chest again. "Oh?"

"She's not a big fan of commitment. Plus, she tends to prefer feminine features. I think I was a rare exception," his eyes wandered as he spoke, reminiscing. "Evelyn is my match in many ways. But we're much better off as colleagues and friends than lovers."

Aria wasn't sure she believed his indifference, but she understood. She had felt similarly about Nyvia, and even Taren to some degree. Love was an uncommon reason for seeking connection in both realms. It made the occurrence of love that much more admirable, and bonded pairs like Luka's parents basically a miracle granted by the gods.

"It is lonely, sometimes, being in power," Aria said, the thought shoving its way through her lips. It didn't help that she feared any partner she chose would be unworthy of her crown in her parents' eyes. She tended to distance herself from real feelings because of that, holding many of her lovers at arm's length. It usually drove them away in the end.

"I know the feeling," Luka said quietly into the embers. "But… It doesn't have to be lonely," Luka's chin lifted, his dark eyes glowing amber in the light of the flames as he met her gaze. His look burned into her, the warmth of it radiating across her skin. Before Aria could reply, rustling came from where the rest of the group slept. "Likely Finn, coming to relieve us," he muttered.

She cleared her throat and stood, grateful for the excuse to separate from the dragon, unsure if she liked the direction their conversation was headed. "I'll go wake Taren."

"Wait," he stopped her, closing the distance between them. He placed a gentle finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. "I mean it, Aria," he said, his breath tickling her lips. She swallowed hard. "We are carved from the same stone, you and I. I've spent most of my life pretending I can do things alone. I've learned the hard way it doesn't work like that. If you ever need an ear, I'm here."

A twig snapped behind him and he pulled back, her jaw tingling where his fingers had been. Speechless, she gave him a terse nod and moved around him toward the trees, passing Finn who eyed her curiously as he made his way to the fire.

Aria trudged toward the tree line and ran her hand along her chin, Luka's touch still lingering as she shook Taren awake to take their turn around the fire. As they traded places, Aria sunk into Taren's pre-warmed bedroll, relishing the way it embraced her.

Luka had opened up to her, enough that she had wanted to reach out and touch him. Hug him. Comfort him. And apparently, he'd taken that as an invitation to return the gesture.

He was right, she supposed. He could probably relate to her more than any of her other friends or colleagues. She'd almost taken him up on his offer to spill her guts before Finn had come over.

At least she'd gotten off her chest what she'd wanted to say, released herself from a sliver of the guilt that burned inside her. But that was far enough. She couldn't let herself be vulnerable among these shifters—allies or not. She had a job to do that required her utmost focus. And who knew what would happen after the equinox? It's possible nothing would change.

The people of Allar were depending on her, and she would not let her emotions get in the way, whatever those feelings might be.

***

Making his way to his bedroll, Luka kicked himself for his intensity. It had gotten him in trouble in the past. Once he decided to let someone into his life, he did it wholly.

That had been a mistake.

He hadn't expected much conversation from Aria, certainly not an apology—if you could call it that. Really, he'd just wanted to understand what was going through her head. And honestly, after what she'd said the night before about not thinking of them as monsters any longer, he thought this might have been a chance for them to talk through how to blend their armies. How to get others to feel the same way.

Instead, she'd gone right to the heart of their issues, severing the lingering tension between them. She had all at once acknowledged the history that was both theirs to own, and that of their ancestors, offering her remorse to him on a silver platter.

And gods be damned, he'd eaten right from her hands.

She'd shown vulnerability, just for a moment, and he'd unloaded on her. Just for her to clam back up.

He needed to check himself with the fae princess. She was still hiding something. He could feel it in the way she cut herself off, careful not to show too much emotion. He was playing a dangerous game, exposing this soft side that he dared not reveal to most of the people in his life, just because he thought she might be able to relate. Because she'd acted like she really saw him, his pain .

But he had to be cautious. The two fae may be traveling with them, but they were not Legion. And he needed to act like it.