35. Arianne

Jax starts with a soft snore, then eases back into sleep.

It's been an hour since he dozed off. Thirty minutes since I finished massaging all the tight knots out of his shoulders.

I'm no masseuse, but I know enough to give him some relief.

I've also checked his phone.

Jax might be mad when he wakes, but I didn't wake him when the first of two messages came in from King. It simply said Vex had found a foster sister who lived in Hackensack, New Jersey, a little over an hour from Asbury Park.

The second one I look at now.

Niro and Cat know what to do.

I'm not a member of a motorcycle outlaw group, but you don't have to be to know what that means.

My guess is that they are going to get her.

I try to decide if I mind.

The reality is, I do, a bit. She could be an innocent bystander, about to be drawn into this mess by her foster brother. Worse, she could be killed. Yet, she could also be complicit. She may have helped orchestrate any part of this. She could be encouraging this monster.

I guess the question is, how far would I go to keep Lola safe?

And the truth is, there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do to annihilate a threat to her.

Then there is Jax. I want him safe and whole too. I want the threat against him permanently removed so we can embrace these feelings we have for each other. So we can live a life where I get to ride on his bike and have friends like Rae and the other old ladies. And most importantly, I get to be a mother to Lola.

"Jax, sweetheart," I say, shaking him gently.

"What?" he says, almost instantly alert. The speed at which he wakes up makes me jump, and I put my hand to my heart. "Sorry." He reaches for my hand. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Were you awake?"

He shakes his head, then yawns. "Operational necessity. We had to grab sleep whenever we could, so I learned to fall asleep and wake up quickly. How long was I out?"

I place my hand on his arm, grounding myself back in this moment. "About an hour."

"An hour?"

"You fell asleep while I was massaging your shoulders."

An eyebrow rises. "I feel like this was part of your master plan to get me to sleep."

I shrug. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Too well." He looks around, clearly for his phone, so I hand it to him.

"You got two messages from King. I'm not going to pretend I didn't read them. King found West's foster-sister; she lives an hour away from Asbury Park."

Jax takes the phone from me and rereads the messages. "I fucking knew it. There had to be a reason why he was coming to Jersey so often."

"I don't know how I feel about another woman being dragged into this mess."

Jax tugs me onto his lap. "I hate to say this, kitten. But this life is like a game of poker. Sometimes you're only as good as your hand. Some hands you're only as lucky as the flop of cards. Some hands it doesn't matter how the cards fall if you haven't got the stack to bet. And therefore, some days you're only as good as your bluff. None of us like hurting women. But out of all the women on the planet, I will always protect you first by any means necessary. We stole something from him. Money and weapons. But that was when we thought the fight between us was business. Now that we know it's personal, we need to tackle it differently. And if that involves having his sister as insurance, we'll do it."

"I used to think I was a bigger person. That I'd offer to exchange myself if someone else was taken hostage. Or, if a grenade was thrown into a crowded room, I'd be brave enough to dive on it to save others. But I'm starting to think I'm not that person."

Jax takes my hand and holds it. "First, if there's a grenade, I want you nowhere near it. And second, ninety percent of the population is braver in their heads than they are in real life. Fuck, even the cops and security guards. You hear about school shootings where those fuckers hid rather than take action. The truth is, we all want to survive. We all want to make it through whatever it is we're trying to get through with the lowest body count and fewest possible scars."

"Do you think we'll be able to go home tomorrow?"

Jax shakes his head. "Not until my brother is dealt with. He saw Lola at the store, but I have no idea if he even knows she's Dad's daughter or wants to get at her, but it's on us to keep her safe, and it's on you to look after her while I take care of him. Okay?"

"Okay."

Jax's phone vibrates, and he looks down at it. But before I have a chance to catch what the message says, he's on his feet. "Quick, go get Lola and whatever you need and get in the safe room. Grab your shoes, your phone. Go."

As he's speaking, he's reattaching all his weapons. Knowing that this can't mean anything good, I do exactly as he instructs. I slip on my sneakers in case I have to run at some point.

Gently, I lift Lola out of her travel crib and carry her into the living room with her thin blanket. Halo is throwing cushions and blankets from the sofa into the safe room. "I don't have time to do any more than that," he whispers. "You remember the code?"

"154154," I say. The number of Shakespeare's sonnets, one hundred and fifty-four. Twice.

"Is he here?" I ask as Jax hurries me into the safe room before giving me a swift kiss. He's turned on the small screen in the panic room that shows me the front and rear doors.

"Yes, kitten. And he brought company. Go. Only open up if you see me come to either of those entrances with my hand up and three fingers raised."

"Why three fingers?"

"Then they can't force me to just stand there so you let me in. Also, it stands for three words. I love you. You remember how to connect to the router in here, right?"

Halo walked me through safety precautions when we first arrived. "I do. But that was sweet how you just dropped ‘I love you' like that. I love you too." I kiss him. It's brief, but with as much meaning as I can give to a two-second brushing of lips.

"Like hearing that from your lips." He pauses before he shuts the door, and studies me for a moment. "You've swiftly become the very best part of my life, Ari." Before I can answer, he closes the door.

The light is dim, so I gently lay the sleeping Lola on the floor on the cushions. It doesn't give me much space, but I need to sit and breathe for a second.

Worry floods me. For Jax, who morphed into the badass Halo before my eyes.

Panic threatens me. This is a small space. A very small space. I can probably touch either side if I stand. There are weapons in cages, but I have no idea how to arm them. I'm not sure it's even safe in this small space to have one with bullets in.

But if it's the only thing I can use to protect Lola with…

I know what I can do. I connect my phone because I need to be able to make a videocall in here to the only person I know can help.

"What's wrong?" Catalina says when she finally answers. Her forehead is sweaty, hairs sticking to it like she just took her helmet off.

"There are people outside," I say as quietly as I can. I pan the video to the sleeping Lola on the floor, then back to me. "Lots of them. I'm in King's safe room and there are guns, but I don't know how to use them."

"Show me," Catalina says.

I move the video slowly over the cases.

"Middle shelf, second from the right. Grab that one. It's a Glock model 19 9mm Luger. See the little square on the side of the handle? That's your magazine release."

I grab the gun and look for the square, finding it close to the trigger. "Got it."

"Above is the slide stop and slide release. It locks the slide back." She starts waving to someone.

"Why did you stop, babe?" I recognize Niro's voice.

"Because there are multiple men outside the cabin and Ari is inside the safe room with weapons she doesn't know how to fire," Cat says.

Niro's face appears in the screen. "Are you secure?"

"For now."

"Are Bates and the others okay?"

My hands are unsteady. "I don't know. Did you find West's sister?"

Niro shakes his head. "House was empty when we got there. My guess is they knew they were moving in tonight and got her out of town. We're headed straight over to you now."

While my morals had worried about involving her, my heart drops that a small piece of insurance has been ripped away.

"Focus on the gun," Catalina says. "Show me the base of the handle."

I orientate the gun so she can see. "Of course it's fucking unloaded. You need to look for a magazine. Black. Looks like it could fit in the bottom of the handle."

"I don't see anything. There's a drawer, but there's a combination lock on it."

"Keep telling her what to do when she's got it. I'll get the number from King," Niro says, his phone already to his ear.

Everything in me wants to panic. I don't want this gun in my hand. I don't want to be trapped in this room. I don't want anything to happen to the men outside.

"When Niro gets the code, you're going to need to load the bullets." She props her phone on her bike and pulls out her own gun. "You point your weapon in a safe direction. Then you keep your trigger finger flat to the side of the gun. It'll stop an accidental firing." She does whatever she does to remove the magazine from her gun. "You want to hold it like this, the round end of the bullet facing in the same direction as the gun."

She demonstrates what I'm supposed to do so efficiently.

"It's zero nine one seven," Niro says. "Said it was his mom's birthdate. He's also got everyone headed towards the cabin, but the quickest backup can get there is forty minutes."

I fumble with the lock, then give it a tug, and it opens. "I'm in. I see a bunch of magazines. How do I know which one fits?"

"Just try them all," Catalina encourages. "Take a breath, Ari. Nice and easy. You rush this, you could hurt yourself."

I finally find one that slips in. "Done," I say.

"Good. Now you need to drop your slide to chamber that first bullet. Like this." I copy what Catalina does. As it clicks, Catalina nods. "It's now as live as a weapon can get. Point and fire, Ari. Straight for the torso. Not arms and legs so you don't kill them. You'll miss. Be brave. Help is on its way. You need anything else?"

I shake my head. "Torso, right?"

Niro's face appears next to Catalina's. "Empty the magazine into any fucker who comes within a foot of you, Ari. I swear to God, I'll clean up any mess it makes, yeah?"

I nod. And with that, Catalina hangs up.

I look down at Lola. Her eyelashes are fluttering, which tells me she's going to wake up any minute.

Prayers rarely replace action, but I offer one up anyway. Keep Lola asleep so they don't hear her, and she doesn't see anything that might scare her. Give Jax courage and protection to deal with whatever happens. Give the rest of the Outlaws the speed they need to get here. And Bates and Switch the strength to help.

I can hear absolutely nothing outside. There is no movement on the video feed. The pressure inside the room seems intensified. Like sound is only a dull thud with no reverb. It's as if I'm underwater.

I never thought I was claustrophobic, but maybe I am.

Twenty minutes pass. There is no sign of Jax. I see Switch run by the front door in almost a blur, only recognizing him by his outfit.

Thirty minutes.

The Outlaws are ten minutes away.

Sweat beads on my forehead.

Maybe Bates, Switch, and Jax are holding West's men off.

Or they could already be…

Tears sting my eyes.

God, I can't lose it.

Ten more minutes. Lola wakes up. She has no idea she's stuck in here, but she smiles. Happy to see me and with no concept of the danger we're all in.

I glance up at the monitor and see Jax dragging…Switch. It's Switch, unconscious, his hair matted with more blood than I have ever seen. Jax looks bloodied too. But he lets himself into the cabin, drops Switch to the floor, and heads back outside.

"No. Wait," I cry, frantically putting the key code into the door.

I don't want him to go back outside. And Switch needs help. Likely more help than I can give him.

But I owe the man who is so injured because he helped us.

I look to the screen. There is no one by the front door. At the first sound of anyone trying to get into the property, I could hurry back to Lola and lock us in.

So, I step outside the safety of the panic room and hurry to Switch. He's still, blood pooling on the floor beneath his head. With a bit of rearranging, I can fit him in the panic room with us.

I'm not sure where the strength comes from to drag a man nearly twice my size across the cabin floor. He gains consciousness twice. Both times to cry out.

The third time, he's alert long enough to say one thing.

"There's too…many," he says before his eyes flutter shut.