29. Arianne

The low rumble of masculine voices rouses me awake the following evening.

Disoriented, I open my eyes and realize I fell asleep in Jax's…our…bed. My watch tells me it's eight p.m. and I didn't know Halo was expecting company.

I stretch my hands over my head. My neck is a little stiff given the angle I slept in, and the little Band-Aid over the needle site on my arm pulls a little.

Jax paid extra to expedite the results of our tests, and the thought of him taking me without a condom in our near future was enough for him to be outrageously flirtatious until Lola was bathed and in bed, and then he fucked me seven ways to Sunday.

I don't even remember him getting out of bed.

Jax had spent the rest of yesterday with Vex and King after Vex's announcement about his brother. While I was concerned for him, it gave me the opportunity to spend more time with the other old ladies. They were so different to each other and yet incredibly close friends. We cooked together, making huge batches of meals for everyone. The combination of friendship and purpose meant I found myself strangely happy in the chaos happening around us. I was almost disappointed when we returned to our respective homes this afternoon.

I pull on some shorts and one of Jax's T-shirt, and when I enter the family room, Niro is lying on the floor, and Lola is sitting on his chest. He's mock fighting with her, and she giggles every time he moves her fist to hit his jaw. It's so sweet, I find it hard to be mad she's out of bed.

Saint and Spark stand in the doorway to the garden, and it strikes me that they could both be in shampoo commercials. I bet they don't do anything to get it that way when I have to use a billion products on my hair to get any kind of wave in it.

King and Clutch sit at the bar stools, sipping coffee with Jax, and Vex, Switch, and Bates lounge on the sofa.

Each of them wear black boots, varying shades of denim, and their cuts. The only thing that differs is the color of their T-shirts. Today, Jax is wearing a black Henley, which hugs his upper body and makes me want to strip it off him.

When he sees me, he smiles and makes his way to me. But instead of saying anything, he cups my cheeks and kisses me in a way that feels indecent in polite company.

"I think I just got pregnant," Vex says.

"He keeps kissing her like that, so will Arianne," King says.

I flinch a little. Jokes about getting pregnant and staying pregnant never land well with anyone who can't have children.

"We don't make jokes about pregnancy, Prez," Halo says.

"No, it's okay," I whisper.

He shakes his head. "Not okay to upset you, kitten."

I glance over at King, then back to Halo. "Don't get in trouble with your boss though."

Halo's laughter echoes around the kitchen. "Prez, are you my boss?"

King stands, but his eyes pierce mine. They are so blue, they're glacial. "I'm not. Didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

I feel the need to explain, but Halo speaks first. "Thanks, Prez."

"Thank you," I echo.

"I gotta go, and I'll be gone overnight," Halo says.

I look around the kitchen at all the men. "You're all going together?"

Halo nods.

"Good."

"Good?" Halo asks.

"Yes. There's safety in numbers, right?"

Halo smiles, then bends, places his shoulder to my stomach, then hoists me up into a fireman's lift.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Gimme a minute, guys," Halo says, like I'm not dangling down his back.

"If it takes more than fifteen, we're leaving without you!" King shouts.

"I'll take five minutes," Bates yells.

"I'll take the full fifteen," Clutch says. "I share a wall with him at the clubhouse."

Halo chuckles at that but doesn't say anything to me. Instead, he dumps me on the bed, feet first, then stands in front of me and grips my ass. I'm taller than he is…just.

"You care about me being safe, kitten?" he says.

"You always look so hot when you smile. I love the way your eyes crinkle in the corners."

He kisses me softly. "You didn't answer the question."

"Yes. I care about you being safe. I want you to come back." I run my fingers over his patch that says Road Captain. "You're going to do something dangerous again, aren't you?"

Halo nods. "To the average person, it's dangerous. But I've been trained for this shit. So, to me it's my job. We got two things we need to accomplish."

"Can you tell me about them?"

"All I'll say is one is routine. A standard run from the docks."

"And the other?"

He shakes his head. "My life has always been secrets. Even when I worked for the military. I've seen and done much I can never talk about. And I'm proud to carry the weight of them because I was able to do things that will keep people safe. Now, I need you to let me go do what I need, what I'm good at, without me ever telling you exactly what that is. Then I'll come back to you and Lola. You think you can hold space for me to do that?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Never thought that would sound good to me, but it's a fucking miracle." Halo lifts me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist. "Wish I had the time to stay and fuck you."

The sound of a vehicle pulling onto the drive distracts him momentarily.

"Who is that?" I ask.

"Reinforcements." He kisses me again. "Let's go say hi."

When I open the front door, Niro, Rae, Vi, Avery, and Catalina are outside.

"Surprise," Vi says, holding up bags of snacks.

"We're sleeping over," Rae says.

"And even though it's a grown-up sleepover, I get to come and play with Lola," Avery adds.

Catalina is geared up for a siege. "I'm babysitting."

"Lola?" I ask, confused.

"No. You guys apparently."

"Babe," Niro warns as he steps into the hallway behind her. "You promised."

"I'm doing it, aren't I?" she asks. But it's clear she's unhappy and feels as though she has drawn the short straw.

"Cat is more than happy to stay behind tonight to provide some extra security in the house, along with some prospects outside, so that you don't all have to go sleep at the clubhouse again," Halo tells me as Avery hurries to hug Bates.

"Whoo-pee," Cat says. "Pillow fights at dawn."

I can't help but smile. "You'd rather be going with them?" I ask.

She sighs and shakes her head. "I'm sorry. It's just…it's a beautiful night for a ride."

"Well, I appreciate you taking one for the team," Halo says from over my shoulder as he wraps his arms around my waist. "Will help me focus tonight to know my girls are safe."

Bates raises an eyebrow. "‘My girls,' is it now?" He drags Vi into his arms and kisses her soundly. "I thought I was the only one who had girls, plural."

Niro chuckles. "It's not like Halo hasn't had plural girls before."

I open my mouth and look up at Halo, who at least has the good sense to look a little bashful.

"Niro," Rae says calmly. "That was an insensitive thing to say in front of Ari and an irresponsible thing to say in front of Avery, who is a minor."

"Ah, shit," he says looking my way. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Avery says. "Uncle Colton says inappropriate things all the time. It's just who he is." She holds out her hand, palm up.

"For the expletive," Halo whispers.

Niro fishes out a roll of notes and slips a five-dollar bill from the bundle, then strokes her hair, letting the waves fall through his fingers. "Thanks for defending me, but Rae is right. I shouldn't say things like that."

"Duchess, get your ass in here," King shouts from the kitchen.

Rae does as King asks, and everyone else follows.

"Girls?" I ask when it's just Halo and me.

"Let me lay it straight," he says, turning me so I face him. "Yes, girls. I'm not going to lie to you about shit. I like trying most things when it comes to sex. Do I need it? No. Will I miss it? No. Will I cheat on you with someone else? No. If you said you wanted to try a threesome, I think I'd actually have a hard time agreeing because the idea of you with another person hits me in the gut. So, I get why the idea of me with someone else would do the same to you. Does that cover everything?"

"No. Is me in your bed enough?"

Jax grins and kisses me. "More than enough."

"And are we monogamous?"

"From the moment I met you, I have been. Don't need or want anyone else, kitten."

The words make me feel all mushy. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I nod. I inherently trust him. And I actually like the way he answered all the questions I had before I even asked them. Like he knew what my concerns would be without me having to verbalize them.

"Good girl." He kisses me again.

"Stop making out with Ari," King yells.

Halo takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen. "You girls have a good night," he says, then hands me his credit card. "Order in. And I bought the next book in that series you're reading and put it on the bookshelf near the TV."

I place my hand on his jaw, his scruff a little long and soft. "You're too good to me."

"I was thinking of you so I bought it," he says. "Same way you thought of me when you put pictures of me and Lola in that frame."

"Thank you. Be safe."

And with that, the men begin the process of leaving. Rae whispers something in King's ear that makes him take her hand and place it over his heart before kissing her soundly. Bates kisses Vi again, then drops to his knees to kiss her stomach in a move so breathtakingly beautiful, it makes my heart ache that I won't get to experience anything quite like it.

Niro is trying to make Catalina laugh and finally succeeds.

Halo is the last to leave.

And then there is quiet.

"Can we sit outside?" Rae says, bouncing a very awake Lola on her hip. "I know it's getting late, but I've had clients all day, and I desperately want what's left of the daylight."

"Of course."

"Are you okay if I familiarize myself with the layout of Halo's home?" Cat asks.

"Sure. Whatever you need to do."

"Can I go with you, Auntie Cat?" Avery asks. "Then I can tell Uncle Colton I helped."

Cat smiles down at her and brushes the top of her head. "Sure thing, chaparrita."

The rest of us head outside. Rae kicks off her sandals and lowers Lola to the ground so her feet touch the grass too. She bounces in place and then begins taking steps forward.

"Avery idolizes Cat," Vi says. "There are days when I think she'd rather live with Niro and Cat than with us."

"It's simple at that age," Rae says. "She clearly adores Niro. And sees that he's chosen Catalina. So, she wants to be like Catalina to remain Niro's favorite."

"Because that's just what I need, Avery going out on runs with Miles at some point." Vi laughs as we sit on the patio sofa. "How are you doing, Ari?"

"A lot better than when I first arrived," I admit.

"They're a lot, aren't they?" Rae asks as she sits down on the grass with Lola.

"How do you deal with the worry? Like, will he get hurt? Could he go to prison?"

Vi squeezes my hand. "I was younger than you when I first got together with Miles. Even back then, he was my whole world. But I felt like because of the Outlaws, I wasn't his. That I wasn't his priority. I was scared of the man he was going to be. So, I left him. And while I knew intellectually it was the right thing to do, I regretted it deeply until the moment he reappeared in my life earlier this year. I don't think you can focus on the what-ifs. Sometimes you just have to throw yourself into this life and rely on other old ladies for support when you need it."

"Makes sense," I say.

"I have a different perspective," Rae says. "And I think that's something you'll find between all the old ladies. We handle things differently but together. King and I talk about it. I have a written plan to answer all those questions. Like, if he gets arrested, I have a phone list. Lawyer first, Clutch second, Saint third. Last month, I got King to write a will, not because I want all his things if he dies, but I know I won't be able to handle legalities while dealing with his loss."

Vi shivers. "I don't know how you can talk about it that calmly."

Rae smiles softly. "Because I'm present enough to know it's not happening now. And worrying about what might happen in the future has the ability to ruin this." She gestures at me and Vi. "It's a lovely afternoon. I'm with friends. I get to play with this adorable little bundle," she says as Lola offers her another handful of grass. "But I do think there are things that, as old ladies, we should have in place, so that if the worst happens, we have a system ready to kick in."

"I don't even know if Miles has a will," Vi says.

"Do they even have health insurance?" I ask.

"Yeah, he's called Switch," Rae answers.

Vi and I laugh at that, but it doesn't answer the question. And I guess both Jax and I should have wills too, for Lola's sake.

"I guess the one thing that makes me feel better is that Jax was a Navy SEAL. They're so well trained, I've got to believe that gives him an advantage over anyone he has to go up against," I say.

"And I always feel better that they have each other's backs. Niro would die for Miles. I know it," Vi says.

Catalina steps out of the house holding Avery's hand.

"The house is secured," Avery announces. "Should we walk around the…what's the ‘b' word for the edges?"

"Boundaries?" Catalina asks.

"Yes. The boundaries. Uncle Colton always walks around the boundaries when I sleep over."

"Let's do that."

"Doesn't it worry you, that Avery knows about checking boundaries so young?" I ask.

Vi shakes her head and leans close, keeping her voice low. "Niro and Cat are good with her. They talk about it in terms she can understand. That we don't trust strangers. That you are safe in your own home. Good common sense. Not the real fear, that they are Outlaws, and the life is dangerous."

"There's a lot of help between us, Ari," Rae says. "I'm just going to add you to our old lady group chat. What's your number?"

I shake my head. "I'm not an old lady though."

"Yet," Vi says. "I've seen the way Halo looks at you. He's changed. In a good way."

Catalina walks over. "Plus, if you and him break up, we'll just delete you from the chat."

Rae is the first to burst out laughing. I follow.

And that's how the rest of our sleepover goes.

Enjoying life, even though I'm locked in here for my own safety.