CHAPTER 33

Renatus

VITA WOULD BE THE death of him.

Well, the eternal death.

What a mistake yesterday had been. The girl had come to him, of course she had. He'd led her on long enough, her melancholic eyes pleading at his door last night. The look on her face when he'd told her to go back to her cage… if his heart still functioned, that look would have torn the organ in two.

The sex….

Definitely a mistake, though the moment itself had been perfect enough. Vita was perfect. That was the problem.

Beautiful, kind Vita.

"Am I yours?"

Renatus didn't thank the Gods often, but he did last night when Aurora had interrupted them after her question.

"Am I yours?"

Impossible to answer.

No, Renatus knew what he should say, what he should do. Vita was too sweet, too innocent, too kind… she deserved better. She deserved her handsome city guard, the one with the mess of curls and strong jaw.

The one who loved her.

Though Renatus no longer had the ability to love, he still knew it when he saw it. The guard loved Vita, and she loved him back. Their night in the Temple of Unera had made that clear enough. He had not gone there to spy, not initially, but it had been impossible to turn away. Standing in the dark, he heard all, saw all, as the two showered each other with their adoration.

Beautiful Vita. Though she looked like her , she was a woman all her own. Confident, intelligent, generous. Losing her… he could not go through that again.

No, it would be easier to push her towards the boy, the city guard, the Praetorian guard.

Perhaps if he made it clear that Vita could have her friend fully and without guilt, she'd stop fawning over him.

Last night had certainly complicated things. Gods knew he shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have fucked her while she was vulnerable like that, while he was vulnerable like that.

The blood. It had made him weak.

Made him forget himself, forget his goal. Keep Vita safe, but do not let her in, do not lead her on, do not make her want more than he could give. All he had known was she was in danger and he needed to correct it, the last remnants of the blood bond giving him just enough of a pull to find her. He'd failed his mission, though at least he'd kept her from harm.

And now she'd be fawning even harder, the thought making him physically ill. A new feeling, or one he'd just forgotten after centuries of impassivity.

He should go speak with her, explain himself. He owed her that much. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

Aurora had come calling, relaying that Vita was asking for him. Even so, he remained in his room like a cowering dog, hiding.

"Am I yours?"

Renatus imagined what it would be like to speak the words he wished he could. " Yes, Vita, of course you are mine. You are mine and whoever else's you wish to be. You're mine until the day you die, until the day…"

No. Easier to keep his distance. Last night didn't need repeating, as perfect as it was, as erotic and emotional as it was. Vita would not be allowed out at night, not unless she had her handsome friend as an escort. She would be protected, but that didn't mean they had to continue this dalliance, this… intimacy.

And if he had to, he could push her harder into Verian's arms, though he didn't fancy the idea of being cruel to the poor girl.

With a shake of his smooth, white locks, Renatus turned his attention to the task before him, the paintbrush heavy in his hand as he eyed his subject. Gaius.

One who would never leave him, couldn't leave him even if he wanted to. But Gaius didn't want to. Of course, he didn't.

His thralls were loyal to him, would forever be loyal. They wouldn't leave him like she had, no matter what atrocities he committed.

Gaius sprawled on Renatus' bed in a pose reminiscent of a God. He looked like a statue of a God, all chiseled muscle and skin as smooth as stone. He grinned with barely contained glee as Renatus painted him, clearly believing that he'd been called here for more than just modeling duties.

But no, not tonight. Not with Vita on his mind, the torment of pushing her away when, in reality, he wished he could pull her into his arms this very second. Her friend would be paying her a visit this evening—he'd read it in a letter sent to the palace—which would hopefully take her mind away from him.

Perhaps Renatus would see what the young lovers had in store, just to be certain Vita wasn't letting the previous night get to her head.

Gaius squirmed, muscles straining as he tried to hold the pose. Renatus set his brush down, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's enough for tonight."

His thrall grinned, rolling onto his back, cock already stiffening from the expectation of what was to come. With a shake of his head, Renatus approached the bed, drinking in every bit of Gaius with glowing ruby eyes. It would hurt to send the man on his way, but it was what needed to happen.

"You're dismissed, Gaius."

His face sunk, the sweet grin transforming to a grimace as he stood quickly, ever the obedient plaything. With a confused glance at Renatus, he grabbed his robe, wrapping it around himself.

"H-Have I done something wrong?"

Renatus tried to smile, cupping the man's face with an icy palm. "Of course not, I'm just… not in the mood for our usual activities."

"Yes, of course. Whatever you wish."

Gaius gave a small bow, then eyed him as if waiting for directions.

"You're dismissed, my dear."

Another stiff nod and Gaius was gone, disappearing into the hall in a flash of robes.

There was a prickle of guilt as the man left, but Renatus let it pass. The thralls enjoyed serving their maker, being used by him, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, not with his mind whirling in a hundred different directions.

And besides, Vita and her friend should be at the temple by now, and Renatus didn't want to miss the show.