CHAPTER 30

Vita

THE PAIR SAT ON a stone bench in the rose garden, cross-legged and facing each other as if they were still children sharing their secrets. The floral scent wafted past on a cool breeze, birds twittering from their nests.

Verian avoided eye contact, glancing around like he didn't want to share what he'd come all the way to the palace to tell her.

Perhaps it had something to do with the new cloak tied around his neck, a symbol Vita recognized all too well. Knowing what it meant sent a chill down her spine, but this was something he wanted and she wouldn't let her own misgivings take that from him.

"Well, Ver? It looks like you have some news," she said, taking his hands and giving them a squeeze .

He turned his attention to her, a frown etched into the lines of his face.

"Vita. It… it's bad. They promoted me to Praetorian guard."

Though she'd known it was coming, hearing the words out loud still took the breath from her lungs. It was always a possibility, certainly, but so soon? Verian was an excellent soldier, she did not doubt that, but he was quite young for a promotion.

She couldn't help but wonder if the Praetor knew something, knew he was close to her and was trying to get back at her in some way. Which, of course, just made her feel worse. He had always talked about becoming a centurion, it was the thing he wanted most.

This should be a happy occasion.

"Drusus, too," Verian continued. "I start my new position tomorrow, working closely with…"

He didn't need to finish the sentence for her to know who he was talking about.

She squeezed his hands again, trying to reassure him. "This is a good thing. This is what you wanted, another step towards centurion. You will do so well—"

"I'm not sure how I can work for that man, knowing what he's done to you."

"You can and you will." Vita cupped his cheek, closing the distance with a gentle kiss.

If all went well, in a few years he'd be done with the Praetor, be living out his dream as one of the most honored protectors of the city. She tried to swallow the knot in her throat as she pulled away.

His brows furrowed with confusion. "You wouldn't be upset?"

"How could I be upset with you, sweet boy? Just be careful, please."

He gave her a short, skeptical laugh at the playful parody of his nickname for her, but broke eye contact again.

Could there be something else on his mind? Was he reconsidering their evening together now that he was a Praetorian guard? She wasn't sure she could take another heartbreak, not after learning about Tullia, her lookalike .

The only reason she was here at the palace.

"Is there something else?" she asked, trying to keep her hands from shaking as they grasped his.

Verian met her gaze, his voice quiet. "Can I tell you something? Something I've never told anyone else…"

So, not about her, then?

"Of course. You can tell me anything."

He cleared his throat, sage eyes darting around the garden. "Well, I've been thinking about what's happened between us, and you and the High Consul…"

Vita nodded, encouraging him to continue, though her stomach clenched with nerves.

He turned right to her, eyes glimmering. "I think… I think I like men. You know, in a sexual way. An intimate way."

The news shocked her, at least initially, though as she took a beat to process it all came together like the threads of a tapestry.

"Oh, I… well, thank you for sharing with me, Ver."

She was at a loss for words, unsure what to say as he squeezed her hands.

"It doesn't bother you?" He looked puzzled, though a tentative smile tugged at his lips.

"What? Of course not, no. Why would you think that?"

"I know how people talk about men who enjoy other men. Gods, if anyone in the guard found out…"

"Verian, you know I would never tell anyone. And just because some people are bigots, doesn't mean everyone is." She paused, weighing whether to continue, but took a deep breath. "Besides, I suppose I feel similar to you… about women. I… kissed Aurora last night. And more."

His eyes went as wide as coins, then his lips curled in earnest, a devastating smirk.

"You did, did you? Oh, I can just imagine that in my head. Wait, was the High Consul there?"

"He was. And Petran. Though Renatus didn't, uh, participate ."

Verian cocked an eyebrow. "Petran? "

"The elf you asked about earlier," Vita explained. "But this is not about me, this is about you! I didn't mean to—"

He waved a hand, hushing her. "Wait… you had sex with him ?"

His tongue brushed over his lips as he awaited her answer. Was he upset with her?

"I did," she replied, not sure how much he wanted to know or how he would take the news.

"Was he, um, good?" Verian asked, followed by a big swallow.

"He was." Vita smiled, narrowing her eyes. "Is there a reason you want to know? Because I'm fairly certain he'd be interested in you."

Actually, quite certain with the wink Petran had given Verian, and what little she knew about the man.

"He's no High Consul, but… handsome all the same."

"Renatus?" she asked with a quirked brow.

He rolled his eyes. "You'd have to be blind to not find him… attractive."

Now it was her turn to lick her lips, the thought of Renatus and Verian together in that way… it had the heat welling in her core, the mere image stimulating her more than she thought possible. He must have been feeling the same burn of arousal because he pulled her into his lap so she straddled him, her dress riding up.

Verian ran a hand up her bare thigh, then circled both his arms around her lower back. Their lips met in a kiss, passionate and deep, the smell of mint washing over her. He rocked her against him and she felt his erection pressing at her undergarments.

Vita pulled away from the kiss, moving to his ear. "This is how I rode Petran last night."

Her heart raced, unsure if she'd said too much, but apparently not as he whimpered, rocking her against him once more.

"Gods, Vita, if I didn't need to get back to Shadowholde, I'd want to take you right here." He paused, considering his words with a sly smile. "And then watch while Petran takes you."

She let out a bark of a laugh. "We still could… I very much doubt he would say no to that offer."

His expression grew serious as he gazed into her eyes .

"No. I do not want to be rushed the next time we're together." He sighed heavily. "I have a meeting with the Prefect that I can't miss."

Stubbornly, Vita rolled her hips against him, eliciting an eye roll and a moan until Verian gripped her firmly, stopping the movement. Her faux pout turned into a smile, unable to deny the joy that radiated through her.

The news he'd shared had been important, and it felt like a new intimacy between them. There was a sense of levity with the commonality they shared, a weightlessness that made her chest flutter. She gave him a final kiss before sliding off of him, though her body ached from the absence.

Verian cleared his throat, standing and bowing gallantly before grasping her chin. "I'll see you soon, sweet girl. Have your fun with Petran and Aurora and whomever you please."

"Be careful, Ver," Vita replied, and he gave her a somber smile.

Then he was gone, entering the palace and disappearing from view.

Her heart sank, mind racing with all the information of the past day. She wished she could've told Verian about Tullia, but his revelation was important. It brought a smile to her face, the way his confidence had ignited after he told her, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

And she couldn't wait to be alone with him again.