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CHAPTER 3

Verian

THE CROWDED DINING HALL hummed with energy as Verian made his way to a table. Lively conversations and hearty laughs sounded throughout the space, the scent of herbs and cooked meats hanging in the air. He sat down next to Drusus and tucked into his dinner, chicken stew.

Another exhausting and uninspiring day, only broken up by a visit from his best friend.

This was certainly not how Verian imagined he'd be helping people, standing guard at the gate every day as life passed him by. Of course, every small task was important. Guarding the entry to Shadowholde was necessary, but at times it seemed so insignificant. Surely, they could do more for those in the city that needed help ?

As his mind wandered, he kept his eyes on his bowl, even after sensing the other man's stare.

"So, would you be upset if Vita and I—"

Verian shot him a look, daring him to finish the sentence.

Drusus narrowed his eyes, but picked up a spoon and took a bite of stew. They ate in silence for a few moments before he turned back to Verian.

"It's just that you've known her for so long, and still haven't fucked her."

The words shot through Verian like an arrow. He jolted from his seat, staring down at Drusus, who just rolled his eyes with a groan.

"Do not speak about Vita that way," he hissed, his words laced with vitriol.

She was his oldest friend, and he would let no one talk about her like that. He already hated himself for not being able to protect her from her foul employer, fully aware that he did much worse to her than she let on.

"Watch yourself, soldier. Sit back down."

There was a hush in the room, the normally lively group of guards focusing on the two men as they glowered at each other.

Drusus was technically his superior. He was older and had more experience, had even been a part of the Prefect's task force occasionally.

"I said, sit down ."

Slowly, Verian returned to his seat, though his eyes did not leave the older guard. The vile way he had spoken of Vita still burned him to his core and as Drusus tucked in to his meal, he continued to stare.

With a huff, Drusus dropped his spoon and looked back at Verian.

"Am I not speaking the truth? I hear the way you pine for her, see it in your eyes when she comes to the city. She's a beautiful girl, but if you don't take your chance with her, I will."

The words hung in the air, and Verian turned to his meal. Drusus wasn't completely wrong, but did he always have to be so foul about things? Vita was …

Vita was special to him. There was no doubt about that.

They had been friends for quite some time, since the day they first met. Verian had still been in training at the collegium, and Vita was living with the old woman, Mariana.

A small smile pulled at his lips at the memory of the first time he saw her.

It was the Detonalia celebration, the soft glow of torches and candles lighting the central forum of Shadowholde for the winter solstice. He was there with some friends, other young lads from the training collegium. They were idiots back then, throwing snowballs and laughing at all the pretty girls.

Through the gently falling snow, he had locked eyes with her from across the forum. Verian's breath had caught, his mouth immediately dry at the shining hazel eyes of the girl hanging pinecones on a spruce tree. Her shy smile and reddened cheeks stopped his heart, wild black hair blowing in the icy breeze. He'd jerked his gaze away, hoping she hadn't noticed his idiotic gawking.

A few moments later, Verian had felt a tap on his shoulder. He twirled around to see the girl standing there right in front of him, giving him a sweet smile. Vita had introduced herself, explaining that she was new to Shadowholde, had just moved in with a woman named Mariana.

Of course, Verian was immediately smitten. How could he not be?

He had deftly pulled her away from his group of friends, not wanting any chance of them spoiling things. They talked for what felt like hours, huddled together for warmth until Mariana dragged her away. Verian would always remember that last sweet smile she gave him as she followed her guardian back to the festivities.

"Whatever you do, Vita deserves to be treated well. She's a good person," Verian said, his voice low.

There had been many moments over the course of his friendship with Vita where he had considered sharing his true feelings with her. The time when they ran from the tavern hand in hand after being chased out for underage drinking, laughing uncontrollably. That summer day when they had laid by the river, making up a fairy story as Vita furiously scribbled it down in her notebook. When she came to him crying, the angry slash of her employer still raw on her cheek.

So many moments where he could have spoken the truth, told her how important she was to him, how much he adored her. But he never did.

Vita deserved better than him.

Verian didn't want to be a lowly city guard forever. He hoped to work his way up to centurion, though that meant he could never marry. He read so many of Vita's stories, knew that she wanted a full life with a partner she could always rely on, and that couldn't be him. It pained him, but it was the way things had to be.

She had given him hints; the way she hooded her eyes when she gazed at him, the way she bit her lower lip as she glanced at his mouth. Gods, those sweet looks made his chest flutter, his cock stiffen in his pants. All signs he'd initially considered part of her normal flirty demeanor until he realized it went deeper than that.

Vita would have been happy to fall into bed with him, he was certain, but he wouldn't do that to her. She wanted more than he could give. He'd have to settle for the women he met at the tavern, women who wanted a night of fun and nothing more.

Drusus clapped him on the back, returning Verian to the reality of the dining hall.

"I treat every girl well," he said with a smirk, and Verian's stomach soured. Drusus nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. "Ad Noctua tonight?"

Verian rolled his eyes, but nodded.

Anything to take his mind off Vita.

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