Chapter 38

Ada June didn't see how traipsing around in the woods was going to help anything, but sitting on the floor crying wouldn't change anything either. All it would do was make her head hurt and probably make Miss Mira lose her breakfast, which for the first morning in forever she hadn't.

But for sure Ada June didn't see how Preacher Gordon expected them to do any rejoicing. Somebody, folks she didn't even know, were gonna come and take Selinda away. After Elsinore had plain as day said she wanted her to stay with Ada June and Miss Mira.

She hadn't ever thought about how having a father could make a difference. Made her sort of glad she didn't have one.

Preacher Gordon helped Miss Mira get their fixings for eating in the woods while Ada June lay down on the floor and let Selinda crawl over top her. The baby giggled when Bo jumped over Ada June after her.

Joseph showed up as they headed into the hills. He didn't know about Selinda. Ada June was glad nobody told him. That made it easier to act like this was the same as any other day. Excepting for no school and Preacher Gordon not going off visiting but staying with them.

They ate their food under a dogwood tree. Some petals had already fallen to dot the ground. Preacher Gordon reached high to pick off a bloom.

"See these petals. They make a cross." He touched the reddish pink on the edge of the petals. "And this bit of color represents the Lord's blood given to pay for our sins. In nature we find many signs of the Lord's love."

He looked at the tree like he almost expected to see an angel perched on one of the limbs like a dove or something. Doves were in the Scriptures too. But a blackbird was all that was there, which seemed about right to Ada June. She was having trouble with that rejoicing stuff. Felt more like a weeping day to her.

"A bluebird would look pretty among the white blossoms." Miss Mira sounded all full of wishing.

Ada June thought of the little bird Miss Mira kept on the fireplace mantel. The bird looked really old with some of its blue faded away, but whenever Miss Mira held it, she always smiled like it was the prettiest thing ever.

Preacher Gordon kept looking around at the trees like as how he hoped to spot one of those bluebirds for Miss Mira. "I've heard them called bluebirds of happiness."

Happiness. None of that was happening today. Selinda was asleep on a blanket Miss Mira brung along. Bo went between her and Ada June, not sure which of them he should spend his loving on. All the sad feeling in the air must have had him addled.

Even Joseph, who didn't know nothing about Mr. Riley going off and finding Selinda's uncle when he didn't need to do anything of the sort, seemed to feel things weren't like they oughta be. So when Miss Mira and Preacher Gordon started looking for birds, he got all excited and jumped up.

"I kin find you a blue bird, Miss Mira. Don't know why you'd want to see one of them noisy jays, but one is sure to be around about somewheres," Joseph said.

Miss Mira smiled. "Not jays, Joseph. This is the Eastern bluebird that has sky-blue feathers on its back and a red breast. My mother used to tell me a story about how it got that red breast something like Preacher Gordon's dogwood flower legend."

"What's that?" Joseph asked, even though he looked some disappointed Miss Mira wasn't wanting him to be off looking for a blue jay.

"The story goes that a bluebird was watching from the rafters in the stable while Joseph built a fire to warm Baby Jesus. When the bluebird flew down to blow on the coals under the kindling to get the flames started, its breast feathers were scorched."

"That's a nice story." Preacher Gordon sat down by Miss Mira and took hold of her hand, gentle like.

Joseph rocked back and forth on his feet. "I might could find one of them too."

Miss Mira smiled. "Then look for one, but don't go off too far."

Bo was up with his tail whipping back and forth. He looked at Ada June, as ready to do some running as Joseph was. So, Ada June went off with Joseph, but she knew they wouldn't find one of Miss Mira's bluebirds. A person couldn't expect to see a bluebird of happiness on a sad day like they were having. She didn't care what Preacher Gordon said about rejoicing.

A week passed. Ada June began to hope she might be doing all this grieving for no reason. Miss Mira put on a good face, but she was grieving too. She didn't even talk about going over to the school. They wanted to both be right there with Selinda, doing whatever they could to make her giggle like as how they could store up that sound.

They didn't talk about it happening, but it was always right there with them, sort of like staring up at a boulder on the side of a cliff that was edging free. It was coming down. A person couldn't know when, but wasn't the first doubt it was gonna happen. So, every step up on the porch, each time Bo lifted up his ears and looked toward the door, they held their breath and waited.

Then the knock came that wasn't somebody come to visit or hunting Preacher Gordon. Something about that peck on the door with nobody hollering out a hello made Ada June freeze where she was. When Bo went to barking like he knew something bad was about to happen, her heart sank.

Miss Mira looked at the door and bent her head for a second. Ada June knew she was praying, but she wouldn't be able to pray them away.

When she raised up her head, her face was white like it was after she heaved up her breakfast. "Make Bo hush, Ada June."

Ada June snapped her fingers. Bo whined and came to sit at her feet. Miss Mira still hadn't moved toward the door. The knock came again, a little louder this time. Selinda started crawling toward the door.

Miss Mira picked her up and kissed both her cheeks. She made a sound that was something like a laugh but more like a sob before she handed Selinda off to Ada June. "Seems she's readier than we are."

By the time she opened the door, Miss Mira had her face back in order. Ada June tried to do the same, but she couldn't. She wanted to run out the back door and carry Selinda up to her cave. But a baby couldn't live thataway.

A woman maybe Miss Mira's age and an old man that looked something like Ada June remembered Benny looking made some noises of greeting. The woman leaned to the side to peer past Miss Mira. Ada June knew what she was looking for, but she didn't step closer.

Then Preacher Gordon was out on the porch sounding all out of breath like as how he'd run from Miss Nicey Jane's house instead of just from the church next door. Miss Mira was trying to smile as she asked them in. Ada June had no intention of smiling.

The woman started crying as soon as she saw Selinda. She pulled out a handkerchief and wiped at her tears. "Oh, she looks just like Benny."

When she held out her hands toward Selinda, the baby went right to her. That didn't mean anything. She did that with everybody. Ada June kept hold of Selinda's foot, but ducked her head and turned loose when Preacher Gordon looked at her.

Miss Mira asked them to stay for supper, but the man said they needed to get back over the mountain afore dark. So they put Selinda's clothes in a poke, and Miss Mira tried to tell them all the things Selinda liked to eat. Then they kissed her and told her goodbye, like as how they would see her come morning when they might never see her again.

Miss Mira and Preacher Gordon went out on the porch to watch them leave, but Ada June ran out the kitchen door with Bo on her heels. She didn't stop until she was at her cave up on the hill behind some rhododendron bushes. Nobody could see her there. Nobody but Bo.

The dark fell around them. Then she stared up at the stars until the fingernail moon came up. She stayed sitting. Bo poked her with his nose but then huffed out a breath and flopped down beside her. She could practically hear him thinking that they were supposed to be through with these kinds of nights. The kind where she hated everybody because everybody hated her.

She tried not to think about anything. To not let nothing in her head but starshine. But then an owl hooted. A few minutes later a bobcat let out a scream that had Bo's hair on end. She grabbed him before he could run out of their hiding place. He went still, hearing more than she could ever hope to hear, but suddenly the night was so quiet the silence hurt her ears.

A little voice started up inside her head. Selinda loves you. She could almost hear one of the baby's giggles she'd hidden in her heart. Even if she never saw her again, she knew without a doubt that Selinda loved her. Preacher Gordon liked her. Even before Miss Mira came, he liked her. Miss Effie didn't hate her. Billy Ray didn't hate her. Joseph didn't hate her. And she didn't hate them. Not even for one night now.

Miss Mira didn't hate her. Miss Mira loved her. She didn't hate Miss Mira. She loved her. And now she'd run away. Miss Mira might not care if she came back after this. She had a baby coming. She didn't need a girl like Ada June who ran away instead of staying and helping. Staying and loving.

She wanted to slip out of the cave and go back right then, but the bobcat made its noise again. Bo trembled in her arms. He knew better than to mess with something like that, but what if he thought Ada June was in danger? He would jump right on that old bobcat even if he couldn't win.

So she stayed where they were until the stars began disappearing in the first gray light of dawn. Then they slipped down the hill back to the preacher's cabin.

She opened the door inch by inch to keep it from making a squeak. Nothing but coals showed in the fireplace, so the light was dimmer in the cabin than outside. She stopped when she heard something. The snuffling sound of somebody crying.

Miss Mira was sitting on Ada June's cot with her head in her hands. She was sobbing. Quiet like. Maybe so Preacher Gordon wouldn't hear.

Ada June stopped still, but Bo went on in. When his toenails clicked on the floor, Miss Mira looked up. "Ada June." She held a hand out toward her. "I'm so glad you're home."

Home. The word wrapped around her and took away some of the chill of the night. She was home.

Ada June went to sit beside her. Miss Mira swiped at her eyes and then covered her face with her hands again as her shoulders shook with more sobs. After a minute, she sniffed and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, but my tears got started, and I can't seem to stop them."

"You miss Selinda," Ada June said.

"I do. So very much. I know she's going to be fine. Her aunt will love her just as much as I do, but my heart had already claimed her as a daughter."

The words Ada June wanted to say got caught in her throat. For a second she thought maybe she was going to lose her voice again the way she had after her ma died. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't let that happen, no matter whether Miss Mira would want to hear her words or not.

"I can be your daughter."

Miss Mira turned to look straight at her. More light had come in the windows, and Ada June could see her face easy, but she couldn't tell if what she saw was surprise or worry or what. She ought to say something else, but she didn't know what.

"Oh, Ada June," Miss Mira whispered. "You are already my daughter. My forever daughter."

She put her arms around Ada June and pulled her close. She kissed the top of her head. "You smell like starshine."