Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

Miles was annoyed with Clint, with himself, with Lily even. It was true he'd let her wait too long, not manning up and ending the relationship, but she was the one who turned the question around and asked him if he wanted to date other people. She always seemed relieved when he'd replied no. Her crying when he'd tried to break up six months ago still baffled him. It was so unlike her it had thrown him for a loop.

The sparring match with him and Clint had him sore and had solved nothing, but it felt great to get that much steam out. Especially with how pent-up he was, wanting to be with Eva and owing it to Lily to talk to her first.

He made it through dinner with Clint getting surlier by the moment, Easton and Walker teasing Eva, Mama and Papa laughing at their boys but giving Clint and Miles worried looks. Mama rarely stopped them from fighting anymore, but that didn't mean she liked it.

After dinner, they all pitched in to clean up while Papa took Mama on a walk. The tension in his chest and between him and Clint was growing. Clint flirted with Eva like Walker and Easton, but he acted like Lily was his responsibility or long-lost love. That made little sense as he'd dated Sheryl for a year and had been engaged and almost married the two-faced Sheryl six months ago.

Miles couldn't even figure out his own life, so he didn't try to riddle out Clint's. He had to deal with the boulder sitting on his chest or he would implode. Eva asked Walker and Easton if she could help with their nighttime chores, and they both readily agreed. She ran upstairs to change out of her dress. Miles made sure he was waiting outside her bedroom door as she came out, looking fabulous in jeans and a T-shirt.

"Oh." She stopped and peered up at him. "Is the nose all right?"

He tested it and winced. "Not broken."

"Good." She moved to walk around him. "I'm going with Walker and Easton. They'll make sure I'm safe."

"I know." He put a hand on her arm. She stopped. "Eva … I don't know how to explain to you without sounding like a world-class idiot. I need to take care of some things and then I'm hoping we could talk …" He scrubbed at his beard. He did sound like a world-class idiot.

"Don't worry about me," Eva said, all bright and fake. "Walker and Easton will take good care of me."

He could bet his brothers would. He didn't want to leave her alone with any of them, but he had to talk everything out with Lily, make a clean break once and for all. If heaven had any favors for him, Eva would listen to him and give him a chance.

"That's true," he managed. "Can we talk … after?"

"No." She shook her head. "There's no need for us to talk. From what I understand, you have someone loyal to you. You should focus on her."

She whirled and rushed across the upstairs hall and down the stairs.

Miles let out a heavy breath and let her go. What else was he supposed to do? Would she listen when he tried to explain? He doubted it.

He texted Lily, determined to see this through.

I'm in Coleville. Can you meet me?

Her response was immediate.

I didn't know you were coming home.

It was a surprise to me too. He tapped out the words and waited a long minute, pacing the upstairs hall.

I'm just getting off a shift at the hospital. I could meet you at the dock.

He didn't want to meet at the lake. A place they used to kiss when they were teenagers. It didn't matter, though. This wasn't going to be one of those meetings. He also didn't want to go face her family. He loved the Lillywhites. They'd always treated him like one of their own. Would everybody hate him after tonight? Probably. His own mama wasn't going to be happy. She'd long been planning the wedding with her friend Ivy, Lily's mom. But this was so past due he couldn't stand delaying any longer.

See you there.

He hurried through the house, grabbing his hat from the laundry room and realizing he hadn't even asked one of his brothers to borrow their truck. He'd text Walker. Walker wouldn't care. He stomped out of the house and around front. Clint stood there, his hat on his head. He wasn't even reclining against his truck as he waited. Another fist fight?

"I don't like fighting with you," Clint said .

"Really? I love fighting you." He meant it. Clint was as good a match to spar with as anyone he regularly duked it out with.

Clint smiled. "Okay, I like the fight. I don't like the feeling of us being at odds. Cade and I fought, emotionally, for over a year about Sheryl. It was an ugly feeling in my gut all the time. I don't want that with you."

"Maybe you do like the emotional fighting. You're the one who keeps being all tense and taking shots at me," Miles challenged, plunking his hat on his head to shield his eyes from the setting sun and folding his arms across his chest. He wasn't one to start a fight, but he wouldn't back down from someone coming at him.

"I'm ticked at the way you're treating Lily." Clint rubbed at the back of his neck and peered at him under his hat. "She's an angel and deserves better and you're the most loyal person I know. What gives? You meet the famous actress that Easton and Walker have always crushed on and you start two-timing Lily? That's not the straight-arrow, loyal brother I remember."

Miles flared instantly, but he could see Clint's point of view. Clint wasn't as easy to confide in as Walker or Easton, so he didn't even know about the many times Miles had tried to set Lily free. Of course no one would believe how unique and special Eva was. Not simply some ‘famous actress'. Not to him.

"Lily and I were a fun senior year of high school romance," he said slowly. "When I first went into the Navy, it was nice having someone beautiful and fun to text or FaceTime with, get packages from, a photo to make my buddies envious, someone to hang out with and kiss when I came home."

Clint listened, but his fists grew tighter. "So you used Lily to have a girl back home?"

He was right. That was what Lily had become to Miles. The girl back home, not the woman he loved or his future wife or anything close to the level of commitment he displayed toward her. He imagined it was the same for her; she could brag about her military boyfriend. Maybe she needed that to keep other men at a distance. Who knew?

"It wasn't a couple of years and the novelty wore off. I did love Lily, but it became more a good friend than anything romantic. Our calls got shorter and less frequent, and I rarely gave her anything more than a quick peck and hug when I visited."

"Why have you strung her along, then?" Clint demanded.

Miles blew out a breath. "I've tried, many times, to tell her to date and give other guys a chance." Clint's gaze was shielded by the hat and the dying sun. He couldn't get a bead on what his brother was thinking. "Every time she's asked if I wanted to date someone else and the honest answer was no. I was focused on the SEALs, not in places to meet women or date." He shrugged. "Then you know how it is with Mama and Ivy planning the wedding already."

Clint actually smiled. "Planning the wedding is an understatement. Ivy Lillywhite has had your tux and boutonniere picked out for years."

Miles smiled too. He loved Lily's mom and family. It was another reason this was so hard. He continued, "Six months ago, I knew I had to end it. It was past time."

"Six months ago?"

"I had a few weeks' leave for your wedding."

"I remember." Clint's voice went hard.

"I tried once again to end it with Lily. She sobbed and clung to me. Seeing Lily cry like that ripped me up inside. She's not the type to fake tears. "

"That's for sure. She's the type to comfort anyone else who's crying and selfishly forget about herself."

"I know." Miles again wondered what Clint was feeling. "Anyway, I felt awful, I held her while she cried and then we parted ways without resolving anything."

Clint peered at him. He stepped closer and tilted his hat back. Miles could see the Coleville blues. They had a bit of sympathy in them now. "You haven't been promising you'd retire from the SEALs and come home and marry her? That's supposedly why she never moved to California to be near you."

"What? I'm not retiring, and neither of us has ever talked about her moving there. Who told you that?"

He grimaced. "Sheryl."

"You're still talking to Sheryl?"

"No. Six months ago, a couple days before she ditched me, she told me that when you came home for the wedding."

"And you believed her? With all the other lies she told you and Cade?" Miles shook his head in disgust.

"You have a valid point." Clint lifted his hands. He didn't know humble. "I'm pretty messed up where Sheryl Dracon is concerned."

"I can see that. Do you need some counseling or something, man?"

Clint bristled. "I don't know what kind of mumbo jumbo is happening in Southern Cali, but here in Montana, real men don't get counseling."

"Oh, boy." Miles rolled his eyes. He'd worked with a therapist after losing close friends in the military and following some of the horrific missions he'd been a part of. It had helped. "Yeah, that makes you really manly. Never deal with your issues so everybody around you can suffer. That's exactly the kind of example Papa would want you to be."

"Whatever. This isn't about me." Clint closed down quick. "So now that you've met the woman of your dreams, Eva Chevron, coincidentally the woman of every guy's fantasies, you're going to finally make the clean break with Lily so you can pursue Eva."

"I have to make the clean break with Lily. It's the right thing to do, even if it's late. Whether I ever have a chance with Eva…" He shook his head. "That remains to be seen. I ticked her off after I rescued her and she almost kissed me and I told her I had a girl back home." He didn't repeat what she'd just said about focusing on the person who was loyal to him.

"Ouch." Clint winced. "Makes sense why she's conflicted about you. She's definitely drawn to you, though. Anyone can see that, feel the ‘sparks' between you, as Mama would say."

"I feel them," Miles admitted, not laughing at his tough big brother saying ‘sparks'. It was out of character. "After meeting Eva …" He shook his head, trying to think how to explain to a man who didn't feel emotion. "I barely know her, but the way I'm drawn to her, the way she makes me sizzle with one look or touch. That's what I want. She's what I want." He took his hat off and hit the brim. "Do you really think I have a chance with Eva Chevron?"

"Do you even see yourself? Women go insane over the humble Navy SEAL and cowboy hero combination."

Miles shook his head. He didn't care about that. "They go insane over you as well."

"What does that matter if it's not the right one?" Clint challenged.

"Who is your right one?" Miles threw back at him, praying he wouldn't say Sheryl Dracon. That ‘dragon witch' as Easton called her better never return.

"That's not the subject tonight."

"Is it ever going to be?"

"Doubtful. Back to you. If you're wondering if you have a chance with the one and only famous actress Eva Chevron, the answer is probably no."

"Ouch. Sugarcoat if for me, please." Miles's heart thudded dully in his chest.

"But if you care for Eva, the sweet, funny, trusting, brave, and talented lady you're protecting, that's a different story. If you're interested in the real Eva, I think you two might have a chance. If you're only after the famous Eva Chevron persona, you don't deserve the real Eva."

He'd had the exact same thoughts. "You're right. I was enamored with Eva Chevron, as I imagine most men are, but meeting the real Eva, seeing how resiliently and bravely she dealt with being attacked, escaping with me, having to trust somebody she didn't know, laughing and talking with her, the brief times we've touched, the way she smiles and looks at me. That blows Eva Chevron, and any other woman in the world, out of the water."

"Good." Clint stepped up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Sorry about your nose. I think it's broken."

Miles touched it. "Nah. I've broken it before. This isn't too bad."

"Good luck talking to Lily. Be gentle with her."

"You know I will." There was something in his brother's eyes. Was Lily the woman Clint was interested in? He thought Walker had it bad for Lily, but maybe it was Clint who would pursue her. "If you're interested in Lily, I am even more sorry that this has dragged on for so long."

"No way." Clint put up his hands and backed up. "I'm not. No. It's a horse trough full of no for me."

"You're sure?" He was protesting a bit too much.

"See you tomorrow." Clint strode to his truck and was roaring out of the driveway before Miles could tap out the text asking Walker to borrow his truck. He got a thumbs-up back almost immediately.

He debated what to say to Lily as he drove toward the large lake near town where everyone boated in the summertime and ice skated or played hockey in the winter, but his mind kept spinning to what he'd say to Eva. He wanted to simply kiss her for a long time first, get out some of the withheld emotion he felt about her, and then talk through everything. The sparring match with Clint had probably gone on for over forty minutes and still he needed to release more tension.

Lily waited, standing on the dock in the shadows. The lights from the parking lot didn't quite reach her. When he stepped on to the wood, she hurried toward him.

"Miles!" She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. She was a beautiful and fit lady, an accomplished nurse, and her family ran a charitable ranch for those displaced from their homes due to one reason or another.

Lily was an example of Christian light, hard work, and loyalty. There was not a thing wrong with her. She simply wasn't his right fit. He'd known it for a while. It was time to help her see the truth she'd been denying for some reason.

He hugged her briefly and then stepped away.

"You look fabulous," she said. "It's been too long."

"Yeah. You look great too."

"Why are you home? "

"Helping out a friend," he said. "Lily, listen. We've got to talk about something serious." He should maybe take her hand, but that might make it harder, and he only wanted to hold Eva's hand.

She looked up at him, smiling as if the something serious was a good thing. Nothing to do but plunge through this.

"Six months ago, I tried to break it off between us, and you cried and … I had no idea what to do."

Her smile faltered. "Before Clint's wedding day."

He nodded and rubbed at his jaw. It was interesting that Clint's wedding was her point of reference, but that wasn't the subject tonight. "I never want to make you cry again, but Lily … it's over. It has to be over."

"What's over?" she asked cautiously, though her eyes revealed she knew what he was saying.

"You and me. Our relationship. It's done."

"Why?" Lily backed up, her face pinched.

"You were one of my best friends, Lily, but we've grown apart over the years. If there were romantic feelings as teenagers, they're long gone now."

"That's just because we don't see each other," she protested.

He knew that wasn't the issue. Not after the ‘sparks' he'd felt with Eva from one look or touch. "I'm not moving back here, and you've never even brought up the subject of moving to California," he said instead.

"I could," she said, but he could tell she didn't want to. She'd never wanted to, and that was fine.

"Your family is here. You love your work, you love all the children on your ranch, and you love Montana. I get it, Lily. Our relationship is not enough of a draw for you to relocate."

"That's not fair," she said .

"It's not, and I'm not putting this on you. I should've set you free years ago."

She blinked at him. Her lip wobbled, and he felt like the biggest of jerks.

"Lily … can you honestly say that you love me desperately and you hate every day we're apart? Can you say that you light up when I look at you or touch you, and you'd elope tomorrow if I could make it work?" These thoughts were all churning in him as he realized he hated each second away from Eva, and she lit him up with one glance or brush of her fingers.

Lily stared at him. Tears rolled down her smooth cheeks and made her eyes even brighter.

Not tears. Not again.

Miles prayed he could make her see they weren't a right fit without hurting her.

"I can't do this," she murmured, turning away from him and brushing angrily at her tears.

He had no clue how to respond.

Apparently not hurting Lily wouldn't be possible.

He couldn't abort the mission, but he prayed it wouldn't be a failure. Somehow, he had to get through to her.