Epilogue

epilogue

Droplets of rain rolled down Regan's face, her hair was soaked, and she was wearing a rain jacket but even that clung uncomfortably to her body like a second skin, with how wild the weather was outside.

Even worse than how she felt on the outside, though, was how she felt on the inside.

Her stomach twisted so tightly with guilt and even heavier with disappointment. She was so, so fucking disappointed in herself.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized for at least the fifth time in as many minutes. And she would keep doing so, for as long as it took!

She rolled both her and Emma's suitcases down the gleaming hardwood floors of the inn, leaving a small trail of water behind. She'd apologized to the man at the front desk, preemptively for the mess it would leave.

Luckily, the hard side material of their suitcases had protected the contents. The purchase had been made by Emma two years ago, before they'd gone on a trip to London. Not matching suitcases, per-se, but the same brand, with complementing colors. " It'll be easier to spot them, this way ," Emma had explained, as she'd given Regan's old, worn, cloth suitcase a disdainful look.

Regan couldn't disagree. Besides, much like everything Emma did, she'd researched the best, most durable and secure suitcases – this baby handled like a dream, compared to the one Regan had lugged around for the previous ten years.

She loved seeing her bright teal suitcase next to Emma's dark blue one, next to each other. It was a visual representation of them, as a couple, in a way.

"It's fine," Emma said over her shoulder, as she stopped in front of the door to the room they'd been assigned to and put in their key. It was a real key, too, not a key card, and it was designed to look like one of those old-fashioned skeleton keys.

This inn they'd managed to find was super cute, and Regan counted her lucky stars for that.

But, still.

"It wasn't what we'd planned, though. It wasn't what I'd planned, and I don't even know how everything got so messed up!" She lamented, resisting the urge to bang her palm into her forehead.

"Babe, it's fine," Emma stated, again, as she opened their door. But her tone wasn't totally normal ; after being together for three years, Regan knew Emma's tones very well!

"It's not, and I understand if you're upset. You don't have to pretend." Regan followed Emma into the room, tugging their suitcases behind her, before turning to shut and lock their door.

"The room looks nice," Emma said, totally ignoring Regan's self-flagellation, as she looked around the room.

Taking a pause in berating herself, Regan looked around. It was really nice. Fairly large, with airy ceilings. An ornate dresser, a large television, and a cute old-fashioned working desk. The queen-sized sleigh bed had a solid wood frame, with a crisp white duvet laying over it. There were three large windows that Regan imagined might have a nice view… maybe when it wasn't storming, and there was some daylight coming in.

"At least there's that," Regan muttered, releasing her hold on their suitcases, as she flexed her hands to get some feeling back into them.

It was the middle of May, sure, but their walk in from the parking area had been chilly.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom and get situated," Emma informed her, shaking back her own wet hair. She grabbed the duffel bag she'd brought in and started toward the adjoining door on the other side of the room.

"Great! Good!" She encouraged, trying to inject as much enthusiasm as she could into her tone. "Okay, I'll… try to figure out what the hell happened to get us so off-track," Regan muttered, mostly to herself.

Before Emma closed the bathroom door behind her, she pointed to the desk she'd just walked by. "Hey, there's a guestbook. Why don't you look through it and see if there's anything good to do around here if we're stuck for the weekend?"

With that, she shut the door behind her with a sharp snap , leaving Regan to herself.

Immediately, she took out her phone and pulled up the GPS. It just made no sense!

It was Emma's birthday weekend, and Regan had planned a little getaway to a cute little town a couple hours upstate. Emma had mentioned it a few weeks ago, because a farm-to-table restaurant had opened there that she'd wanted to try.

And she'd done everything right!

Regan knew herself; she knew that she was prone to potentially making small mistakes, to overlooking details that seemed insignificant but ended up with dire consequences. Since being with Emma, though, she'd changed.

True to what had just played out between them, Emma generally took it in stride when Regan messed up.

But being with someone that was so conscientious and well-prepared, in turn, had made Regan more conscientious and well-prepared. Now that she had her side business with her baked goods up and running, she'd needed to be a lot more organized. Keeping schedules and double-checking details was a game changer.

Sometimes things slipped through the cracks, but… Regan couldn't think of a single time in the last few years that she'd messed up this badly.

Thirty minutes ago, when the rain had started pouring so hard she'd barely been able to clearly see out of the windshield, she'd gotten a very, very bad feeling in her stomach, and she'd pulled over so she could see what the hell was going on.

Because – from what she'd remembered – they were supposed to have arrived in the cute little town Regan had looked into at least an hour before the downpour was supposed to have started.

She must have gotten carried away during her drive with Emma, though, because she hadn't even registered that they'd been driving for far, far too long to be correct. But Regan had been focused on the road, and Emma had been reading aloud to her from a new book they'd both wanted to read – so of course, she'd been distracted!

By the time she'd tried to re-calibrate, they were in Vermont ! Around them for miles was just… woods. No businesses, no people. Nothing.

Her GPS must have glitched or something, because it had been directing Regan to a small town in Vermont, rather than the one upstate. Again, all Regan's fault. Because when she and Emma had agreed on wanting to see more small towns around New England, Regan had put Green Ridge, Vermont on her list, and she'd put it in her GPS to check how far it was from the city.

Somehow, even though Regan had put their actual destination in her GPS and had Sutton check it over last night to cover all of her bases, though… this is where they'd wound up.

To make it all worse, it was Emma's birthday .

Feeling about an inch tall, Regan dragged her soaked rain jacket off and gingerly draped it over the back of the desk chair. Using the dry material of her shirt, she lifted it to dry off her face, before she blinked down at the guestbook Emma had referenced.

Reaching down, she flipped through it, finding that only the first few pages had been filled out.

"Bad luck continues," she shouted to Emma through the bathroom door. "This is a new book or something, because there are only, like, five entries."

Heaving a sigh, she tried to shake herself out of it.

When things like this had happened to her in the past, Regan had been able to take it in stride, to make light of it.

But… she'd just tried so hard for this weekend to be perfect.

Emma had officially been hired as a full-time staff writer at Olly a few months ago, and she'd been working so hard trying to prove herself, to make sure she lived up to expectations. Regan had been looking forward to this weekend as a little break, a little breath of fresh air for her, as well as a celebration.

Forcing herself not to go further down the road into the bad place in her mind, she focused down on the guestbook.

I've never had a bad experience with her! In fact, every moment I've spent with her since the moment we met has made my life a better place. She's helped my family come together in ways I never would have imagined. The girls keep trying to grab the pen to write their reviews, too – all glowing. – Kimberly Hayes

Frowning with confusion, Regan narrowed her eyes down at the book. What the hell?

"Um… has your mom stayed here?" She asked, even though it didn't make any sense.

She flipped the page.

All I've ever wanted was for someone to make Emma happy. Someone who loves her for who she is. Regan surpassed my expectations. Not only does she love Emma and make her happy, but she makes Emma an even better version of herself. Less… afraid of the world. Less scared to be herself. She makes me feel the same way, too. It's a very precious gift, and I'm honored to have her be a part of my life. – Sheryl Bordeaux

Okay, Regan wasn't seeing things. That was Emma's gram. That was her name.

She was no less baffled – maybe the most confused she'd ever been in her whole life – but her stomach tingled with excitement, nonetheless.

Who wouldn't love to walk into a room and be able to read people's – positive – thoughts about them?!

I spent a lot of my life not really knowing her. Not really wanting to know her, because I was so resentful. But I also spent a lot of my life feeling envious of her relationships with other people, the people Regan cared about. It wasn't until only recently that I allowed myself to see my sister for who she really is, and not who our family told me she was. Taking a page out of Regan's book was terrifying, but I think it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I think it – and she – saved my life. And I'm so grateful that I let her in. Because I don't have to be envious of the people Regan cares about and supports, anymore. Now, I'm one of those people. I've always loved her, but now I feel comfortable – feel allowed – to show it. – Audrey Gallagher

Regan's breath caught in her throat, surprised. She stroked her fingers lightly over the page. She and Audrey were actually friends now, as well as sisters. So, this wasn't shocking. But… it was one thing to read this, to see it right in front of her eyes.

"Emma, what the fuck is going on!" She shouted, whipping her head up to look at the bathroom door. Still closed.

Regan could go and try to kick it down and get answers from the woman she was in love with. But… there was still more in the book, and she needed to read it.

I might not be Regan's mother by birth, but I'm a parent to her by choice. As with all children – including all that I've given birth to – there have been issues. People are all flawed. But I'd be hard-pressed to find someone that cares so deeply about everyone else around her, than Regan. I knew from the day I met her – going to pick Sutton up from school, and being informed that my daughter had been pushed around on the playground, only to then be informed that the boy who'd pushed her had then been shoved to the ground by Regan – that she was a very special little girl. And she's grown into a very special young woman. Seeing her experience the last few years of true happiness and living her life for herself has given me the ultimate parental joy. – Katherine Spencer

Feeling her chin wobble, Regan sniffed. What the hell was this book?! Had she slipped on the rain outside and hit her head?!

I'm not always one for words, especially those from the heart. But I am one for being loyal to my ideals and to my favorite people. I'm someone that respects, deeply, people who follow their heart. I've always been someone to have many acquaintances, but few friends. And I'm someone that is truly lucky to consider Regan a great friend. – Charlotte Thompson

"You sappy bitch," she murmured, before flipping the page again.

I'll never have enough time to say everything Regan has been for me in my life. A constant confidante, support, reality check, defender, comedienne… a sister, in the truest, most meaningful definition of the word. I want her to have a lifetime of joy and love more than I want it for just about anyone else on the planet. – Sutton Spencer

P.S. Please forgive me, Regan, when you read this. I know you're probably beating yourself up about how wrong everything seemed to be going tonight. I'm sure you're going to understand, though.

P.P.S. You always take so much joy in saying that you get to be responsible for my finding love. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I get to take responsibility for your love story, too.

Regan gasped as she read that – specifically, Sutton's apology. Suspicious and eager, she looked down at the final page.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself in a relationship with this woman.

Loud and messy and chaotic and gossipy…

And sweet and thoughtful and romantic and protective and hilarious and observant and talented and loving.

She has the most beautiful smile on the planet. She makes me feel calm and like everything is going to truly be okay, even in the most tumultuous of times. She's the best lover I've ever had (she'll appreciate that comment).

Building a life with her feels as natural as breathing, and sometimes I look around at my life – in the apartment we share – while she's baking or singing to herself or talking to me about articles I want to write or while we're going to visit my grandmother, and I think… this is it. I don't want anything or anyone other than this woman for the rest of my life.

10/10 would recommend. – Emma Avery Bordeaux

Her breathing was choppy, and the backs of her eyes burned with tears, and she felt like she knew what was going on, but she needed –

"What's going on?" She demanded, as Emma opened the bathroom door. She pointed at the book. "What is this?"

Emma's hair was dry, and she'd changed into the Brandeis sweatshirt that she'd confessed to Regan that she'd worn regularly through the years.

"Did you actually read the cover?" Emma teased, even as Regan could hear the edge of nerves in her voice.

… fair question.

Quickly, Regan closed the book and actually read the swirling font on the cover: Regan Reviews

Shaking her head, she blinked back at Emma. "I just… I don't…" She trailed off, dragging her hands through her hair. "I'm overwhelmed and amazed, and confused."

"I'm asking you to marry me," Emma clarified, biting her bottom lip as she lifted her hand up to show Regan the ring she was holding.

Oh. Wow. Okay. Regan had suspected it, and still, she felt her knees shake, and she jumped forward. Wrapping her arms tightly around Emma's neck, she held her so close, feeling Emma's heart pounding along with her own.

Unable to contain herself, she inched back enough to pepper Emma's face with kisses. Her perfect lips, her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids, her forehead, her chin, back to her lips.

Before she let herself get too caught up in kissing Emma, she pulled back to look at her. "Why did you torpedo this weekend trip that I planned?!"

"Because! When we talked about getting engaged, you said you'd prefer a surprise!" Emma insisted.

And… that was true.

They'd sat down together when Emma had gotten her promotion to talk about the future . Regan had indulged Emma in this conversation, coming prepared with her own notes. Emma loved to sit down together and make detailed plans, and Regan thought it was absolutely the most adorable thing.

" This way, we'll never have another misunderstanding like the roommate contract ," Emma had explained, the first time they did this – which had been the weekend before Emma had moved into Regan's room.

"I'm ready. To really think about marriage," Emma had started their conversation off, a couple months ago.

She'd listed off her reasons: her career was finally where she wanted it to be, Regan felt good about her own situation, Sutton had officially moved out of their apartment and in with Charlotte. All of these were things Regan knew mattered a lot for Emma to have in place, before taking any further steps in their relationship. Which was fine by her.

Because Regan had never really thought about marriage, before. She'd definitely never wanted to marry any of the guys she'd had things with. She wanted a future with Emma, and she loved their life, and she was happy to go at the speed Emma wanted to move at.

True to form, Emma had discussed her thoughts on proposals – she wouldn't want Regan to propose somewhere public or to make a big fanfare out of it, and she also didn't love big surprises. All of which were details Regan knew about her, already.

Regan… was the opposite.

So, they'd made an agreement that getting engaged was officially on the table.

Regan shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around it. "But – but it's your birthday weekend. I was going to propose to you !"

"I kind of figured that," Emma allowed, with a cute, small smile. "And I figured that I'd beat you to the punch, so what better way to do it than this? A complete and total surprise."

"I'll freaking say!" Regan's hands, braced on Emma's shoulders, squeezed as she bounced on her tiptoes. "Did you have to do it by making me think I totally fucked up? Also, how did you do that?"

"Sutton," Emma explained, easily, squeezing Regan's waist back. "She changed the destination in your GPS when she was "double-checking" it for you."

"That sneak!"

"She said – and I quote – this is a payback Regan will understand."

Regan could only laugh, before she remembered – the ring! She pulled out of Emma's embrace and grabbed her hand, where she still carefully held the ring between her thumb and index finger.

Feeling her own hands shake, she nodded, quickly. "Yes. Obviously, I want to marry you, Emma."

Carefully, Emma slid the ring onto her finger, and they both stared down for a long moment.

"And now, I get to say that amidst all of our firsts, I proposed to you first," Emma whispered, sliding her hand up to cup Regan's jaw. "It's a pretty big one."

"The biggest," she agreed, before leaning in and capturing Emma's mouth with her own.

She could feel Emma slide her free hand down and lightly stroke her thumb over the band of the ring. It was the perfect fit.

Somehow, they were the perfect fit.