46. Christian

46

CHRISTIAN

I t’s game night at Elodie’s, and I’m playing a dark round of Cards Against Humanity . Several times I’ve gotten dubious looks and one, “You sure everything’s all right?” from Jeremy.

My mind is a few buildings up, though. It has been for hours.

Technically only two hours, but it feels like longer because I’ve been drinking.

As I’m contemplating which card to play in answer to “The reason Russia dropped a nuke,” Larry, who’s always got his phone out, suddenly picks it up and taps the screen. “Oh my God .”

“What?” Jeremy asks, leaning over to look. “Who is that?”

Larry continues to stare at the phone, aghast.

“All the good bits are blurred out.”

“That’s not the point, hon. Oh, lord, my brain needs a good flossing.” Larry taps the screen again and appears to be reading.

“Anyone wanna let us in on the latest hot topic?” Olivier asks, sounding thoroughly annoyed.

Just then, Jeremy gasps. “A Republican?”

My head snaps up. “What are you watching? ”

“A conservative Republican senator’s gay sex tape ,” Jeremy says.

I’m gonna throw up.

Drew’s voice booms from the other side of the table. “Which senator?”

“Ours. Lawther. Greg or?—”

“Graham,” I supply.

Drew gets to the phone first, but I’m reaching for it, too—the instinct to protect Silas overtaking us both. But the look we share is grim even as Larry objects to being separated from his emotional support phone. It doesn’t matter who at this table knows. The video is out there. And what a fucking coincidence.

Sounds like Gibson went through with asking for the annulment.

“I’m gonna be sick,” I say, crossing the enormous penthouse to the bathroom.

Drew follows me with his hand on my back. “You okay?”

“I knew about that video.”

“How?”

“Gibson.”

He comes into the bathroom with me, leaves the door open, wets a washcloth, and puts it on the back of my neck. “Close your mouth and breathe through your nose.”

I do, and it tamps down my gag reflex. “How’d you do that?” I ask.

“My sister’s a nurse. She’s a bitch, but I’ve picked up some tricks. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

I tell him everything I know, from the way I found out that day at the Downside Lounge to the talk I had with Silas, to the fact that Gibson’s planning to end his marriage, and Marianne has access to the video. I even manage to squeeze in something about Avery, who he knows of through Elodie and Olivier.

“You think if you called, you could get Silas over here?” Drew asks. “He doesn’t usually answer when I call. ”

Before I can respond, Elodie’s hanging by an arm in the doorway. “Your boyfriend’s here,” she sing-songs.

I put my hand on my chest. “I’m gonna have a fucking heart attack.”

“I’ll try Silas,” Drew says. “Go talk to Gibson.”

“If you can’t get him?—”

“I know where the fucker lives. Don’t worry about it.”

I nod, taking the washcloth off my neck and leaving the bathroom. Gibson’s already halfway across the living room. He frowns when he sees me and grabs me by the face the second I’m within reach. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “How’d it go? What happened?”

“I ended it. It was better and worse than I expected. It’s gonna be fine. Were you worried?”

“Yes, but…” I glance past his shoulder, and it’s like realizing I’m on a stage. Literally everyone is watching us.

Gibson looks around. “I—uh…know of an empty unit one floor down. It’s Monday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s probably not there. Worth a try?”

I nod, not quite understanding what I’m agreeing to. I lowkey need to freak out, and one floor down sounds a hell of a lot easier than two blocks up.

We make our mumbled, half-assed excuses and leave together. A few minutes later, Gibson uses a key from his wallet to unlock the door to 1107. “Whose apartment is this?”

“Fischer’s. Anybody home?” he calls out to the pitch black apartment. “Fischer? Hey—I’m coming in so if you’re here let me know.”

After a few long seconds with no response, Gibson flips on a light to a gallery hallway. “Let me text him real quick,” he says.

“I’m gonna get some water,” I tell him, walking to the living area, satisfied enough that we’re alone. The apartment is nice, if kind of boring. A classic six, with a kid’s bedroom and another one at the end of the hall. The living, dining and kitchen are all open to each other with French doors behind the dining table. It doesn’t seem like anyone lives here, but the fridge is stocked. I grab a bottled water, assuming that’s okay.

Gibson gets to me in the kitchen while I’m chugging the cold liquid. He puts his hands on my waist and waits for me to finish the whole thing. Afterward, he presses his mouth to mine in a gentle kiss. “Talk to me.”

“The video—the one with Silas—it’s out. Larry was watching it just before you came in.”

“ What ?”

“Tell me that wasn’t you.” I genuinely don’t think he would have done it—he knows who Silas is to me, but if he was forced to in some sort of negotiation with his wife?—

“I’m trying not the let that question hurt my feelings, but of course it wasn’t.”

I put a hand on his face and look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry. If I didn’t ask…”

“No, I get it. Is this what Drew was talking about? Getting in touch with Silas?”

I nod.

A pained look crosses his face, and it puts a stab in my heart. As if I needed more proof that I’ve got it bad for this guy. “If you need to go…” he begins.

“Drew can handle it. You said it was better and worse. Are you all right?”

“I’m…” He lets go of me and paces away. “I know she did this. She and Avery are probably the only other people who had that video, and I can’t imagine Avery would blast it out after talking with her today. Marianne, though…”

“Pissed at you and lashing out?” I guess.

“Pissed at Avery and me.”

“The video doesn’t hurt you though. ”

“No. But it takes away Avery’s leverage over Lawther,” he says.

“I take it Avery screwed her over pretty bad.”

“More like broke her heart. I wasn’t sure she still had one.”

“How’s yours?” I ask, because it’s the only one that matters to me.

“All over the place,” he admits, turning back to me.

I hold out my hand, and he steps forward to take it. We pull ourselves into a hug, and I grip him tight. I still don’t know what the ultimate outcome of their talk was, but it feels less important than the fact that’s here with me .

I feel the buzz of his phone against my thigh through his pocket. He backs out of the hug and checks it. “Fischer,” he mumbles. “Says we’re welcome to stay.” He chuckles. “And change the sheets.”

“When do I get to meet your bestie?” I ask.

“Any time,” he says. “If you want.” Then he sighs heavily. “So, I don’t know when she’s going, but she did more or less agree to the annulment.”

“More or less?”

“I can’t imagine she’ll stick around long, but she was pretty upset. Like—scared.”

Fuck. That had to have been awful to watch. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t just abandon her, you know?”

“I get it.”

“I wish it hadn’t gotten so fucked up.”

“Hey.” I cup his neck. “You both need this. Whatever you need to do to make this work for both of you—do that. But the marriage has to go. You were fucking dying.”

To my surprise, he tears up. Sucking his lips into his mouth, he nods as he takes a deep breath. When he lets it out, he puts his hands around my wrists and stares at me as one tear falls. “I’ve still got you, right?”

“Yeah. Still not going anywhere. ”

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” he says.

“Well, we’ll never know, but I’m glad you did it.”

His grip tightens with urgency. “At the risk of scaring you off, I want you in every way that means anything.”

My chest fills with emotion. It’s a declaration that answers all my lingering questions, that makes me fall for him even harder, which I didn’t think was possible. “You’ve got me. I’m not scared.”

“What I mean is I’m gonna want to marry you.”

There’s not enough room in my body to hold what I’m feeling for him. It needs out, so I press my mouth to his. “You need to pace yourself,” I say before kissing him again.

“I will. I promise. That was a heads-up.”

“It’s hot,” I tell him, running one hand up his chest and digging the other into his hair to bring his mouth back to mine.

His tongue slides in and strokes deep. A moment later, my back is against the wall, and I’m wrapping a leg around his. He breaks the kiss to assess my clothing situation and slides his hands up my T-shirt. “I can’t have anyone thinking you’re available. That’s all.”

“That’s it, huh?” I ask with a gasp as his fingertips graze my nipples.

“Nothing more to it,” he says, leaning in to suck a mouthful of my neck. “Other than it’s always so good with you.”

“It might not always be.”

“I accept that. I’m not perfect, either.”

“You shouldn’t tell someone you’re not perfect when you’re trying to get in their pants.”

He smiles. “I would absolutely fuck you into this wall if I could.”

I know exactly what he means—neither one of us has lube.

Lube is by far one of the worst parts about fucking a guy. It’s never around when you really need it. And to be honest, I don’t feel exactly comfortable having sex in a stranger’s bed and using theirs. But I need him pretty bad, and I feel like we can figure this out. I nod toward the kitchen. “Get creative, kinky boy.”

He smirks. “Careful how you talk to me, or you’ll end up with mayonnaise up your ass.”

He talks a big game, but he’s already stripping off his shirt and opening cabinets. He returns to me with an open jar which he sets on the TV cabinet. I kick off my shoes before shoving down my pants. He’s undressed already, and he slides my t-shirt off with a hum of appreciation at all the marks he’s left on me. I’m getting hard fast, but he’s already stunningly erect.

“I’m about to make such a fucking mess of you, gorgeous.”

I jerk my cock while he stares at me. He dips three fingers into the jar of coconut oil and greases himself up. Our size difference usually doesn’t come into play when we fuck around because it’s mostly weight based, but right now, when he grabs me by the ass and lifts me clean off my feet, I gasp in shock. My back slams into the wall as my legs lock around his hips. I grab hold of his shoulders.

“Fuck,” I breathe through the adrenaline rush.

Using his strong arms to maneuver me, he pulls me onto his incredibly slick dick. “Oh shit,” I groan at the angle—the fit—the filth of fucking with coconut oil against a stranger’s wall.

It’s desperate and depraved in the best possible way.

“Mmm….yeah,” he moans as he bottoms out. “Still the best lay in town, baby.”

I can’t smile because he’s too deep in me, but I feel kind of proud. It’s not like he had to say that.

With a roll of his hips, he works me back and forth on his cock. It’s blazingly hot and has me burning up in a hurry. My back is even sweating, and as I slip on the wall, I let go of one of his shoulders to grab the cabinet and steady myself. He bends forward to kiss me, licking into my mouth as our hips work in a pounding rhythm. I’m already seeing stars as he fills my hole and lights up my prostate with each thrust. “ Mmm…mmm.. .” I moan down his throat.

“You like this, baby? You like taking this cock whenever I feel like giving it to you?”

“Yeah—yeah, I do.”

“Such a good fucking boy. My pretty, perfect slut.”

“ Unh — fuck …” I groan, his words going straight to my cock. It throbs lethally.

“Hang on tight,” he tells me before really starting to fuck me. What came before this was child’s play. He’s even faster and harder than he was on the roof, and I thought nothing could be more intense than that. I fucking love it.

And I love him.

I love that he knows he can use me to spend every emotion—good or bad. I love that there’s no lie in the way his body responds to mine. I love that he doesn’t hold back and trusts me to hold everything he can’t. I love belonging to him and knowing he’s just as much mine .

“I love you,” I remind him as he’s railing the fuck out of me.

“God, fuck , Chris.” His mouth slams into mine, and he slows his roll, shoving me further up the wall and putting his entire body into our connection.

I’m vibrating with our closeness, the overwhelming intimacy—the unguarded love . All that shit I couldn’t hold inside me? It bursts out in a shouted cry and the strongest orgasm of my life. Cum sprays our chests as he shoves balls deep and shudders hard. My ass fills with his release, and my mouth welcomes his tongue as he kisses me through every eruption of his throbbing cock.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” he whispers, as our bodies settle, and our kiss goes from overwhelming to gentle. The plea in his words, though, hits me harder than anything else tonight.

“Did you hear what I said?” I ask.

“I did, and I’ll probably never stop asking for more. I’m sorry.”

I never want him to stop asking. When two people’s jagged edges fit together as well as ours do, there’s not much more to do except be profoundly grateful and make all the promises you want made in return.

“I swear I’ll never leave you.”

He bites my lower lip and lets out a contented sigh. “I swear you’ll never regret it.”