CHAPTER THIRTY

I expected fear when I dared to face her again. I expected shock and disbelief. But Blue touched my arm with a wrapped hand.

"I don't believe that. Tell me what happened."

Maybe I needed the fifteen-minute walk back to the house to organize my thoughts.

Maybe I needed the silence to enjoy what may be the last time she wanted to be alone with me.

Whatever thought process my brain had, I found myself leading her to the office. I left her to decide if she wanted to sit or stand as I went to the hearth and lit a fire. Then I took the armchair. I shrugged out of my coat, draped it over the back and sank into the stiff cushion.

Blue closed the door I had intentionally left open and moved deeper into the room. Her thin fingers unclasped the buttons on her coat and she pulled it off, blue eyes never wavering off me. The article of clothing was tossed on the couch. Her boots were peeled off and placed on the floor. Then she was standing before me, our knees bumping.

Without a word, she curled up in my lap. Her arms around my neck. Her scent a noose around my chest.

"Tell me," she whispered.

My traitorous hand brushed a lock of hair. "You might want to sit away from me until you hear it."

Blue shook her head. "I like this spot, and I'm not scared of you."

I hadn't realized how badly I needed to hear that, how desperately my soul begged for those five words until it rushed out of me in a growl. My arms snaked around her, promising to never let go again as they tightened.

My tormenting angel rested her head on my shoulder and waited.

"I lied to you the evening we looked at my family portraits. I didn't tell you everything." I skimmed my palm down the soft sweater covering her arm to where her elbow bent. "I told you their stories but not all of it." I took a deep breath, and her face nuzzled my neck. "Hael Lacroix killed his wife. He chased her down in the dead of night and strangled her with his bare hands."

Blue made no comment. She didn't move. She sat still and quiet and I continued.

"Hael was a bastard in every sense of the word. He was cruel and calculating. He murdered an entire village of settlers and took their land. He dug up their graves, robbed them, and burned their bones."

Blue made a small choking sound but didn't stop me.

"He built this house for his new bride. He created a castle to hide the fact that he was a terrible man. He told no one, until he started writing about whispers in the walls and the dead following him through the halls. In the end, his crimes drove him to murder the woman he loved. It seemed to be the guilt that finally pushed him over and he killed himself."

I stroked Blue's back. Waited for her to tell me to stop. When she remained quiet, I continued.

"Vittoria, Jeffery's wife, was found in the lake." My mind immediately flashed to the previous night and Blue getting pulled under. I tightened my arms. My lips found her forehead. "She had a chain and cinder block around her neck when they found her body. Everyone suspected suicide, but I think it was Jeffrey."

"Thoran," Blue breathed.

"Stop?"

Her back shuddered with her shaky inhale, but she shook her head.

I went on. "Catalina died in childbirth. My grandfather Orson killed my grandmother." I paused for a heartbeat. "My mom."

Blue's arms tightened. "You don't have to," she whispered into my neck.

"I have to," I told her. "You have to know." When she didn't press, I relieved my worst nightmare. "I was fifteen when I found her at the bottom of the stairs. Neck broken. I lost both my parents that morning. My dad may as well have died without her. She was everything to him. Without her, he didn't seem to know how to be human anymore. Until he couldn't pretend and walked into the swamps."

"I'm sorry," she rasped. "I'm so sorry."

I stared into the flames. The faces of my family stared back with disjointed jaws and hollow eyes. They screamed and writhed as if burning in their afterlife. As if hell itself had latched onto their damned souls and refused to let go.

One day, that would be me. I would be a melting face in the flames. Screaming in agony for all eternity because I killed my sweet, little Blue.

Blue raised her head. Her cool fingers touched my face, pulling me back to the room.

To her.

"Stay with me," she murmured, stroking my cheek. "I'm right here."

"You shouldn't be." My lungs contracted around the words making them tight. "Don't you understand? You shouldn't be here because the house will take you, too, and I can't fucking live without you, Blue. I don't fucking want to."

She didn't understand. I knew it the moment she gave me a tiny smile and kissed my mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Every woman who has ever stepped foot in this place has died," I told her, anger and panic making my voice sharp. "I've been almost married five times, sweetheart. Five." I jerked up the sleeve of my right arm to show her the twisting vine of roses. "They all died, Blue. I brought them here knowing and barely had a solid year with any of them. "Penelope," I pointed to the smallest bud near the bottom, "Six weeks." I pointed higher to the second bloom. "Danika. Three days."

I could hear the ting of hysteria creeping into my voice. Pulsing at my temples. Drumming until it was all I could hear.

Blue placed her small hands across my forearm. Hiding the ink.

"Tell me about them," she said gently.

She wasn't listening.

Maybe I wasn't telling it right.

Maybe she really was broken and I had only broken her further.

"Who was first?" she asked.

I sighed. "Elena. She was Amari's older cousin. Her aunt, Amari's mother, and my father had this vendetta going back years over lost shipment. It was so long ago I barely remember it, but they thought the solution to stopping the bloodshed was to have me marry her niece."

"Did you like her?"

I shrugged. "She was nice. Nothing like her cousin. She was calm and sweet."

"How did she die?"

I rubbed my free hand over my eyes. "One of the guards found her at the bottom of the stairs leading towards the conservatory. I have no idea why she was there."

"What about Danika?" Blue pressed, keeping me going.

"She was the daughter of a rival I overthrew. She was my ... prize. After she died, they just assumed I killed her and that was it. No one cared. Her body is in the family plot."

"How did she die? You said three days."

I looked down at her flower on my skin. Her memory because no one else had. "She fell into the well in the garden. I told her not to go there."

I felt Blue shudder violently. "Sorry," she lowered her gaze. "I passed the well when I got lost. I thought I heard something inside."

My heart forgot to beat for a second. "Did you look inside?"

Blue nodded. "For a second. But I got scared and ran."

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. "Jesus Christ, Blue."

"I didn't know," she pleaded.

I was reminded yet again of all the ways the house had nearly gotten her and she had no idea.

"Tell me about the next one," she prodded.

"Constance." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Vance found her. She was daughter of a foot soldier for some small drug lord. He tried to get his boss to seek revenge for her death, but the guy wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to risk coming up against me. The father came for me himself. I actually felt bad when I killed him." He had done all he could and, in the end, it had cost two lives. "She threw herself out the upstairs window. I guess the thought of being married to me was just too much for her to handle. She died immediately," I said before Blue could ask.

"I don't believe that," she said. "Maybe she fell."

I wanted to laugh at her innocence. "Not everyone can look past this face or what I do, Blue. You heard those women today. I'm a monster."

Her pale gaze never flickered. Never wavered. She bore into my soul with the sweet calm of a saint.

"I was raised by monsters, Mr. Lacroix. The worst kind. You do things normal people might not, but you're not a monster." She touched the ropes of disfigured skin of my face. "And I don't think you realize just how incredibly devastatingly gorgeous you are. Maybe more so with the scars. I remember trying to think what you would be considered because I've seen, and been handled by all manner of good-looking men—"

"What do you mean handled?"

Blue smiled, amused by my outrage and ignoring it. "But you're not simply handsome or pretty. You're dangerous and beautiful in a way a lion is when he's guarding his pack. You're ... the perfect darkness."

I didn't know what I was supposed to say to that. No one had ever compared me to darkness before. Not the way she had. Usually, people are referring to my soul.

I touched my fingers to her lips.

"Is that right?"

I replaced my fingers with my lips when she nodded.

I drew back to search her face. "I want to hear more about those men who handled you."

She chuckled. "Tell me about the other two."

I was prepared to fight the matter, but I would bide my time.

"Anne." I felt a pang at the thought of her. "She had the most beautiful heart. She'd seen everything dark and twisted in this world and still she bled for others. She should have been a nun or a nurse. She was sold to me by her uncle for a crate of coke." I rubbed a hand over my eyes. "It wasn't the first time he'd used her to get what he wanted. He'd been doing awful things to her since she was five, but fuck she still thought tomorrow would be better. Never said a bad thing about her uncle, despite it all. When I found out and killed the fucker, she begged me to quit. Said I deserved better." I barked a laugh. "I couldn't believe my ears. That was her only request from me."

Blue's eyes shone in the firelight. Dancing with my pain.

"What happened to her?"

My jaw tightened. "She went to the village without me. It was during mating season. She was ... the wolves got her."

Blue gasped. One hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my God."

I nodded, looking away. "I almost quit looking after her. I was beginning to see the patterns and I couldn't have any more blood on my hands. Then I met Penelope and she was ... tough. Tougher than Anne. I thought ... maybe. She came from an all-women's biker's club. Her leader and crew came looking for justice after she died, but I managed to talk to their Captain and told her a lie she believed."

"What lie?"

I blew out a breath. "Penelope was found in the swamp. She must have gotten lost and fallen in. It was an accident."

Blue watched me. "What was the lie?"

"All of it, baby. She didn't just fall into the swamp. Constance didn't just fall out the window. None of them just died accidentally. The house killed them."

Most women would have climbed off my lap and called me crazy. They would stress that I was imagining things. They would ask me to talk to a shrink.

Blue touched the collar of my shirt and said, "Okay, so now what?"