Chapter 28

" Y ou don't have to do this," I pleaded, hoping Archer would listen to reason. "You already have enough scars."

"She's right. Listen to the voice of reason." Salem set his black bag on the kitchen table in the heat house. "The memory of a battle is enough, don't you think? Must one ruin oneself deliberately?"

Archer kicked off his shoes by the grey sectional and peeled off his bloody sock. "You're a healer. You wouldn't understand."

Archer and I had stayed in the field for a short while before the cleaners arrived. After questioning us, they got rid of all evidence and removed Noah's body for disposal.

I called Enrique to explain that his warehouse was wide open, and I felt terrible about the whole thing. When he showed up, he was more upset that his security guard was the cause of the mess. He said the incident gave him a reason to fortify his garage doors and do more comprehensive background checks on his employees.

In fact, Enrique expressed deep remorse about my situation since Noah was his employee. He even offered me the books free of charge. While it was thoughtful, I insisted on paying, but he only accepted half.

Because Lakota's truck had to be towed for repairs, Tak picked us up. Fearing his reproach for causing trouble, I was surprised to find him genuinely concerned about my safety and everyone else's. He called Hope's father to help Enrique with repairs on the garage, and that left us in good standing.

Archer had lent me his shirt until Tak arrived with clothes. It wasn't until the cleaners shined their flashlights that I glimpsed Archer's new tattoo. I didn't say anything until we were in the car, and even then, all I could do was hold him after he explained the meaning.

So that's where he had gone on his night out.

Now that we were home, Archer wanted to keep the scratches on his lower right leg that Noah's tiger had made. Once he stripped down to his underwear, we could see how gruesome the gashes really were.

Salem's messy hair suggested we had gotten him out of bed. "I won't do this until you shift and close the wound. Otherwise, it'll look like a horror movie."

"I don't want to heal it," Archer countered.

"It's too deep to heal with only one rotation. It would require at least two, but it's better if you seal the open wound. You need to heal the damage to the veins, nerves, and muscle. Otherwise, you might wind up with something like a permanent limp." Salem rubbed his eyes. "I don't have a magic pill for a limp."

With a reluctant sigh, Archer shifted to his wolf and back. After putting on his boxer briefs, he sat on the chaise and scooted back so his leg was straight. "Let's get it over with, Doc."

Salem pulled a jar out of his bag and shook his head. "This is permanent."

Archer gave him a cross look. "I know that. Everything about tonight is permanent. "

It struck me how true that was. I circled the couch and stood beside him. "Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"So you don't have to experience the pain alone," I said matter-of-factly.

Salem bent over and stared at the wound. "Maybe you should bite down on something."

When Archer didn't reply, Salem put on a rubber glove and applied a small amount of liquid fire directly to each wound. Archer never shouted or punched the couch pillow. He did squeeze my hand, but I'd never seen anyone more brave—more tolerant to pain that the average person could never endure.

"That hurts worse than the tattoo," he finally said, sweat beading on his brow.

Salem bandaged his leg. "That's because it's deeper."

After leaving a few painkillers on the table, Salem made a hasty exit.

Still shaken, I washed my hands and then changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants. Splashing water on my face didn't wash away the lingering horror.

"Are you okay?" Archer asked from the bathroom doorway.

I stared at my reflection. "Why did he do that? He set everything up just to lure me there. None of it makes any sense. He could have gone on with his new life."

"Because men like him don't change. He had a black heart. That tiger made his choice, and he paid for it."

Still rattled, I moved past him into the kitchen area. "Do you want me to make you coffee or cocoa?"

"I'm good."

"What about a sandwich? There's bread and peanut butter." I had the bread on a plate before he could answer. Then I saw the jar and realized he might need help opening it. "I'll make it for you. "

Archer came behind me and gripped my wrist. "I don't want this."

I paced to the back of the couch and leaned against it. "I don't know what you want from me. With Noah, he always told me. But with you, I'm always guessing."

Archer glanced at the tattoo on his arm and replied, "I want you to yell at me when you're mad and tell me if I'm being a dick. I want you to tell me when you're hungry and what you want to eat for dinner. If you want me to drive thirty minutes to buy you a hot dog, I'll buy you three." He crossed the room and stopped a few feet short of me. "I want you to stop overanalyzing everything I say. I'll never lie to you, and I won't judge you or try to change who you are. I want you —good, bad, all of it. That's the only love I know, and it's the only kind I can receive. I don't want you making me a sandwich because you think I can't do it myself."

"That's not why I offered."

He averted his gaze. "You tied my shoe in the bar. I know you were just trying to be sweet, but you have to accept my weaknesses. You gotta love the whole package even if it's missing a piece. I need to learn to tie my own shoes. I've been avoiding a lot of shit for too long and want to make more of an effort." Archer closed the distance between us and touched my cheek. "I know you're struggling because of him, trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship. Even I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But what I do know is that you shouldn't be worried about pleasing me. Wear perfume that you like, or don't wear any at all. If you ask me to buy you lobster, I will."

"I hate lobster."

He quirked a smile. "Good to know."

"How do you feel about my running a bookstore?"

He jerked his head back. "It's kick-ass—that's what I think."

What he couldn't understand was how I struggled with that. "It's just hard. He always made me feel guilty for wanting things and not considering his time. You're not working right now, and I don't want that to be an issue."

"Whatever Noah made you believe is a lie." He stood next to me and leaned against the sofa. "Hope and Mel aren't just designers who create amazing pieces of art—they run their own business. That's a huge undertaking, and their mates are supportive. Mercy and Bear have an equal partnership in terms of earning money. In fact, Mercy earns more. The thing is, Noah brainwashed you into thinking you needed to be taken care of and under his thumb. That's not what most men want. There're always jerks out there who want to dominate, but I'd never do that to you."

"What if I fail?"

"You don't fail when you put your heart into it." He gave me a sympathetic smile. "New stuff is scary. But you're smart, and the bookstore could grow into a big business. Look at you—you're carrying on your father's passion in your own way." He bumped his shoulder against mine. "Do you think I'd stand in the way of that? I used to have an ego, but that's not me anymore. I'll be there to support you and bring snacks."

My heart leaped at the realization we were finally having the talk—one that laid the groundwork for a future.

"Cici, I love you."

My chest tightened. "How do you know? I mean… how do you know it's real love?"

"I just do. My wolf brought you a rabbit more than once."

I smiled with surprise. "That was you? I thought Catcher was out hunting."

"Wolves hunt for their mates. Trust me, it wasn't Catcher." He shook his head. "It's embarrassing as hell."

"Why?"

"Horses aren't meat eaters. I don't expect you to eat it. "

I chuckled softly and stood in front of him. "You need to let me know what your triggers are."

His eyebrows drew together. "We can talk about triggers as we go. I'm not sure either of us has it all figured out just yet. There are still things you're going to have to unlearn."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't care if you're messy. I love your hair up or down or covered in paint. However you dress your body is sexy because I know what's underneath," he said in a smoky voice. "I'm not a relationship expert, but we can figure this out together. I've got my own hang-ups I need to work through. Like learning how to accept someone's help. So tell me what you think."

I looked down when he held my hand. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

Tears unexpectedly blurred my eyes, so I quickly blinked them away. "How can I trust you? I love you, Archer. I love you more than anything, and that scares me the most. I think about how happy you make me feel. But Noah had his moments in the first year."

Archer stood and got down on bended knee. "I can't promise we won't have our disagreements, but I will never make you feel less than. I'll never make you cry unless they're happy tears. I'll never ignore or raise my hand to you." He took my hand in his. "My wolf has found his life mate. I don't want you to trust me on word alone. I have to earn that trust, and that's a responsibility I don't take lightly. You're my only. You're the piece that's always been missing in my life—not the arm."

I dropped to my knees. "Can I make you happy? Kissing in front of people makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes being in public makes me nervous. I'm not always emotionally open, and that might take time. But I can't make promises. Sometimes you might not know why I'm upset, and I don't know how to express myself when I've spent my entire life repressing my innermost feelings. My father was kind but not demonstrative. With Noah, it was like walking on eggshells. He didn't like seeing me upset, and he was always suspicious when I was overly happy."

Archer leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my mouth before drawing back. "If you still want to sleep in here until you feel ready, that's cool. I'm not pressuring you. But I want you, Cecilia Talius, to be my mate. I want to share my bed with you and hear your laughter at night when we're talking about our day. I want to hold you when you're sad and make you laugh. If crowds bother you, we'll have date nights on the sofa. Bear can cater our dinners in the backyard. But I also like going out and having fun."

"I like going out sometimes, and that's not something I'll hold against you. But I'm not comfortable in noisy, crowded places. Not for long periods and sometimes not at all."

Archer stared at our hands touching. "If you want to be left alone to read or unwind, let me know. But if we're doing this together, that means I need to think about us more than me. Let's do game night with the pack instead. We can still go out when you're in the mood. Or we'll go to a nice restaurant and dine at one of the outside tables. They have a lot of those in Austin. We can even go hiking. I want to make you happy." He touched my cheek. "I want to make you feel safe."

Touched by his promises, I wrapped my arms around him. "I feel like I've been asleep my whole life until we met. Will you promise never to cheat on me?"

He drew back, his eyes leveling me. "I've never taken sex seriously, but that's because I never found my other half. I lost my arm because of bad choices, but I know what's important now. Communication, trust, love—all of it. That's what we have, and that's what I want."

"I was unfaithful with Noah because he hurt me. I didn't know how to leave a dangerous man. Why did he cheat with all those women? I gave him everything he asked for, but I still wasn't enough."

"Because he was an ungrateful bastard who didn't deserve you. I can promise you one thing: I'll scorch the earth before I let anyone treat you that way again. But you don't need me as a protector. Your spirit animal's strong."

"Promise you'll never be unfaithful."

Archer touched his forehead to mine. "Not gonna happen. Ever."

I leaned back and traced my fingers over his beautiful tattoo. "I can't give you children."

He regarded me for a moment. "I fell in love with you , not your uterus. Maybe kids aren't in our future. But if they are, the fates will bring us a child."

"That's a life-altering sacrifice, Archer. If you want your own children someday, I can't give you that. Maybe you should consider what that means. I don't want you clinging to the false hope that maybe the Relic was wrong and a miracle will happen."

"I don't have those expectations. But you're choosing a man with only one arm. That fight in the parking lot won't be the last. I'll defend you to the fucking end, but it's not going to be easy. Some days are hard and I get in a mood. Sometimes I have nightmares. You'll have to hear people talking shit about me, and there are things I can't do that other men can."

"And there are things you can do that other men can't, like love me the way I need to be loved."

He softly stroked my nape. "If we decide on kids, I'll be the first to sign us up for adoption. That's a promise. Genetics doesn't make a difference to me. We can adopt horses, wolves, or even Relics. But I'll never put the burden on you."

The tears came, and this time, I didn't hold them back.

Archer hooked his arm around me and hauled me up. "Come on, sweetheart. It's been a long night. "

"Do you like living under Tak?"

"He's the best Packmaster I've ever known. He's got a great sense of humor but also expects us to work hard. Wolves need a kick in the ass. It helps us bond. Why do you ask?"

"Do you think he'll accept me? I mean… I'm not a wolf."

"So? Lucian's not even a Shifter." With his arm still around me, he said, "Most animal species group together because that's the way we've always done it. From what I've seen, times are changing. People see the value in having other animals in their groups. Did Mel ever mention her aunts? One's a panther and another a Mage. Tak is a different kind of leader. He doesn't look at our Breed but our hearts. But since you're a different animal, you'll need to meet everyone's wolf."

"Assuming Tak lets me in."

Archer gave me a lopsided grin. "Girl… you have a better chance at getting in this pack than I do, and I'm already a packmate."

A cricket trilled outside the window as we stood in the center of the room.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" he asked.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I want you to stay with me every night."