7. Ross

seven

Ross

Three years and two weeks ago

S ilver

Ross plays the guitar. I want so badly to sing with him, but I can't. He serenaded me today. I was so caught up that I almost forgot the time. Onyx would never understand why I can't stay away. I wish I could tell her, but I can't. She would be so mad to know I left the cabin. I have to get out of here.

Present Day

Ian paces the balcony and deliberately refuses to look down. I do. She's currently being bullied into the house by West. She's trying to protest, but when the twins set their mind on something, nothing can stop them.

"She's staying," I say in challenge and relief.

"That's great. Wonderful."

I narrow my eyes. "What's the matter, Ian? It's been three years. Surely, you aren't still holding a grudge?"

He turns and casts a scathing look.

The fact that he doesn't answer me is more telling than I'm sure he'd like. I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the frame of the sliding glass door.

"People can change."

"No," Ian says shortly, "they can't."

"She has changed."

Ian snorts. "For now, until she gets what she wants and leaves us all in ruins again."

I shake my head. "You're really going to hold a grudge over this?"

"Do you remember how bad we all felt when she just ghosted us? One day, we thought she was the perfect omega for us, the next, she wouldn't even give us an explanation."

"Maybe there was a reason."

"Maybe there wasn't. Maybe this here is a ploy, a game, and we're setting ourselves up for a fall again."

I bite my lower lip, worrying it. Ian's concerns are valid. I mean, I hear what he's saying, but my instincts are telling me that this time is different.

Ian stops and leans on the rail. "What if she hurts our pack again?"

"Then she hurts us. It's a leap of faith. What if she doesn't? What if she had a reason for what she did that last time? What if she isn't here to hurt us and truly is just here because of coincidence? Maybe fate is giving us a third chance. But regardless of all that…you're the one who bonded her," I snap, reminding him of his actions.

Ian glances up at the sky and heaves a loud sigh. "I know!" He moans. "I don't know why I did that. It was just instinct."

"Well, bonds are forever, so whatever happens, she is now our omega."

"She's not Brandy. She's not our scent match. People will talk. She might never be enough."

A throat clears, and I whip around. West's eyes are hard, but Silver looks brutalized. I feel those wounds in my own heart.

"Brandy," she says softly. "You know her name? I never found out the names of my scent matches. Just that they were gone."

"Silver-"

"It's funny. I don't know what I'd feel about them. I'll never get the chance. All I had was some donated clothing from the grandmothers who dropped it off for the poor. I wasn't even allowed to keep it. When I asked her who the scents belonged to, she sobbed in my arms, while my entire world shattered. I couldn't tell her who I was…because who'd want me, right? After everything I had done, no one would want me." Silver's voice trails off.

"Silver, I'm sorry-"

"It's occurred to me as well that I might spend the rest of my life never feeling the way I did when I held that jacket in my hands." Silver barks out a laugh. "A jacket. That's really sad, isn't it? They were gone, and I'll never know that feeling that you have when you think about her."

West glowers at me before turning to her with an expression of intense sorrow. She continues before he can speak.

"I feel so sorry for you, though, your pack. Having met her and having her turn away from you. But then I wonder if she's like me. If you dodged a bullet. Perhaps your scent match would have made you miserable. Perhaps she would have been cruel. Maybe you escaped a life of torment. I think it would be worse to be you than to have ended up like me."

Silver looks out the window and up at the sky, her eyes growing distant.

"Maybe I escaped a miserable life, too. Maybe they beat those weaker. Or perhaps they were cruel. Life doesn't give us perfect mates. It gives us scent matches, but that doesn't mean it works out. I know I've been in the Omega Refuge for three years, and I've seen what scent matches do to each other. It doesn't always mean a happy ending. So, if this thing, this bond between us, allows us distance and apathy, perhaps it's not the worst thing in the world."

She forces a tiny smile and turns, walking back the way she came.

I let out a shaky breath. I cannot believe she hasn't changed. She is so different. She is so much more than she was. I hate the sorrow in her, but she's not wrong. I've often speculated that Brandy would have made us miserable.

And even though she was our scent match, her scent had a tone of something that brought out memories of my mother's drinking. I've never told my pack that, though.

I shift uneasily. I hate keeping secrets from them, but this is one I dare not speak out loud.

How can I just say to them, ‘oh, we met our scent-matched omega, and what I felt from her was the urge to run to my bedroom and lock my door, to turn up my music, and get my dog-eared copy of the latest comic I'm reading, and pretend like hell I'm somewhere else?' No. I couldn't tell them that.

I exhale and take a step after the omega, only to have West hold out a hand.

"Quint is down there. Give him a chance to calm her down."

I heave a frustrated sigh and glare at Ian.

"Can you be more careful of her feelings? Like, just try not to say stupid, hurtful things while she's here?" I ask softly.

Ian glares at me. "I'll make an effort."

"That's all I'm asking for," I reply and huff.

I wander to my room, needing a few minutes alone. My enormous desk is covered in sheets of music. Songs I've written. So many of them are written about the omega downstairs. No one knows the songs are about her. They assume I wrote them about Brandy.

But Brandy doesn't inspire me. It's not Brandy who broke my heart. It's not Brandy I watched, working silently, alone in the Omega Refuge year after year.

How can I tell her these things and what she means to me?

I can't, at least not yet. I need to do this slowly so I don't overwhelm her. But her secrets are many. With every new piece I learn about her, my obsession grows. And it is an obsession. She will never know how many excuses I have come up with to go and see her. How many times a day I think about her. How that meeting at the Omega Meet turned my world upside down.

She's my perfect omega.

Now we have a chance.

One chance is all I need.

I'm not losing her again.