5. Silver

five

Silver

Three years and two weeks ago

I 've spent a week with them, and it's getting harder and harder to leave them when it's time to go. Ian held me from behind yesterday, and it felt like I was really safe. I think I want him. My body responded. That scared me, but he didn't push. He's the nicest person I've ever met. I like him so much.

Present Day

After the meal, I stand up and edge towards the door. If I can just get out of here, I can disappear.

"Wait!" Ross calls out. "Look, can't you just stay for a couple of hours? Adrian's coming back to check on you."

I hesitate. "I feel fine."

"But you were really ill. Look, I'm not going to make you stay, but I'm going to have to go with you if you leave."

I whip around, glaring at the stubborn alpha. "That's ridiculous. I don't need you to babysit me." I also really don't need him to see where I'm going to stay tonight. The thought makes me break out into a shiver.

"You need help, Silver. Let me help you."

I hesitate. Part of me wants to accept his help, but the part of me that doesn't trust anyone anymore rejects his offer with a sneer.

"I think that would be unwise."

"Listen to the omega," Ian says with his arms folded over his chest.

"You bonded her," Ross hisses. "You'd just let her leave to starve on the streets?"

Ian clears his throat and looks away. I can't tell if he feels guilt or if he thinks Ross is being an idiot.

"She stays," Ian announces like he's the fucking king of all omegas.

"You can't make me stay!" I snarl at Ian.

He whirls on me, huge and furious. I stagger backwards, almost tripping over my own feet. I'm caught by Ross and pulled into his safe embrace. "You're right. I can't make you stay, but I can track you down and bring you back."

I swallow hard, watching the way his blue eyes light up with molten grey streaks. Why is he so pretty?

"Just stay, accept the freebies. You'll be out on your ass soon enough."

I wince. Maybe not so pretty.

Ross growls and tucks me closer to his side. "Ian!"

Ian simply spins on his heel and stalks down a corridor and disappears. He takes the exhausting tension with him.

"Sorry about him. He's got issues."

I snort, unable to stop the amusement. Issues? That's an understatement.

Ross grins at me. "So, Silver. What do you like to do?"

What did I like to do? I like to lie awake at night and count whatever is nearby, so I don't think about how screwed my life is or how much I deserve to be here. I like to find places where I can be safe and hidden. I like to steal drugs from doctors to suppress my heats. I like to find places that give out free food. My silence must tell him all he needs to know.

Ross' smile drops. "All right, let's try an easier question. Do you want to sit outside in the garden, lounge on the couch, or we can go swimming in the pool?"

I turn my head, staring at him with eyes that are too wide. That's not what I thought he was going to suggest, and it makes my throat tighten with emotion. "Garden?"

"Garden it is. This way. It's nothing fancy, not like Grayson's gardens, but West and Quint find it comforting to muddle about out here."

Ross grabs his guitar on the way out. I stare at it, envy burning in my chest. Will he sing where I can hear him? Dare I ask?

He leads me through the back doors and around the side of the house. I almost stop walking as the paradise unfolds before my very eyes. The garden isn't at all precise like Grayson's, its gigantic trees with lots of shade, rings of flowers, its sporadic and wild with no rhyme or reason. It's lovely. There's so much shade to sit under and plenty of benches and tables. They spend a lot of time out here, I can tell. I would, if it were mine.

Ross leads me to a bench under a tree, with enough low branches that you could easily climb in it, and urges me to sit down. I sit delicately, but I'm too busy trying to take in everything else to notice he's getting his guitar ready.

At the first strum, I turn my head, captivated by him. He sings a song I've heard before. It's a melody about a man who spots a woman from afar, a woman he loves on sight, but she runs from him. The song ends in tragedy with the woman marrying someone else, and the man marrying his second choice.

I swipe the stray tear from my cheek. It's not the story, it's how he plays, his voice so low and intimate as he sings.

Ross stares at me the whole time. When the song finishes, he keeps playing, transitioning into something gentle.

"You don't like that song."

"You sing it really well," I say instead, not wanting to offend him. Once, I would have teased him into writing me a ballad, but that me is gone.

"But you don't like it."

I shake my head. "No."

"Why?"

"The song makes her sound bad, but there isn't a single line about what's going on in her life, why she chose the man she did. We only see his side of it. I mean, it literally says he was idealistically searching for his perfect woman. Maybe she wasn't searching for perfection, maybe she was looking for safety." I snap my mouth shut, furious that I just divulged so much information.

Ross stops playing. "What were you searching for, Silver?"

I stand up and pace away from him. "Nothing. I was…nothing."

"Silver-"

"Play the song about lost chances. It's about your scent match, isn't it?"

Ross' lips turn down. He obediently plays the song. I turn away, looking out into the garden, feeling a desperate need to run but knowing there's nowhere I can go. The walls have crumbled, and it's me and my demise ahead of me. I know my future. I'll die alone on the street.

This song. I asked him to play it to remind me that the bond on my wrist is nothing. It means nothing.

The song concludes with the woman choosing a life that made her miserable. I choke on a sob. Did I choose the life that made me miserable? I was trying to choose safety.

"They died, you know," I throw at him. "My scent matches, long before I ever met them. They all died. I'm cursed."

Ross puts down his guitar and steps towards me. I step back and start to sing. My voice comes out husky and low. It's been a long time.

I sing their song about their scent matches, but I change it so that I'm singing about mine. By the time I'm finished and the last note dies in the air, Ross is staring at me like I'm his salvation. He's missed the point of what I was doing.

"You don't understand, Ross. There is no happiness for us. We'll always miss what isn't here. No one will ever be enough. We'll be alone until we die."

Arms grab me from behind and hold me to a warm, hard body.

"That's not true, Silver. We can be happy without scent matches. We can be happy if we work at it."

West leans his nose down and inhales my scent. "Fairy floss. I've always loved fairy floss."

I hold still as he opens his mouth and sucks hard on the side of my neck. It's so hard not to melt. My back arches, and a low moan escapes me. This is crazy! I should stop him. This isn't right, it's just making it harder.

"Wait, what are you doing?" I try to protest, but it comes out weak and breathy.

"She didn't smell the way you do. She didn't smell enticing or right. Silver, maybe the universe got it wrong," Ross purrs out, stepping into me, so I'm sandwiched between the two men.

I stare up at Ross while West kisses his way up to my ear.

"You sing like a siren," West hisses. "I'm captivated by you, always by you."

I'm stunned. I'm so shocked it hasn't even occurred to me to stop them. Ross drags his hands up my hips, up my sides, and up the outside of my arms until he gets to my shoulders and squeezes.

"Sing with me," Ross says softly, his breath wafting against my lips.

He sings a new song. A song I haven't heard before. I listen intently, and by the time he's run through the chorus, I've got it. I start to sing.

The two of them move closer, locking me in between them.

The song is about a ghost who keeps disappearing and appearing only when things are dire. It's about a pack who is in love with the ghost and chases her only to lose her every time.

I stare up at Ross while he finishes the song.

He reaches up and cups my cheeks. "Stop running, my gorgeous ghost."

I open my mouth, but his lips press lightly to mine, stopping the words from escaping. I'm so stunned I just stand there. But then his tongue swipes a hot, wet path across my bottom lip, and I groan and open for him.

Our kiss turns molten in seconds. I cling to him, losing track of everything around us, except for West and his slowly wandering hands. I've never been kissed like this before. Never with gentle adoration and sinfully seductive coaxing. The kisses I've had were brutally stolen from me.

Ross steps back and clears his throat.

I glance up and catch Quint and Ian glaring from the window. My cheeks scorch, and the shame of everything I am returns in a massive wave. My lips still tingle, but I feel like my soul is shriveling up, trying to hide from the constant need versus what's right.

I'm the omega who flirted with them. I used them as a stepping stone at the Omega Meet to move to better packs. With open honesty, I confront that truth and admit I was cruel to this pack when they deserved more.

I was desperate.

Shame burns hot in me. My shoulders slump, and I try to pull away from West's hands.

"Stop thinking those thoughts, Silver."

I shake my head, refusing to meet Ross' gaze. "You'd be better off with anyone else but me."

"Why?" West growls.

I tug myself free and turn to face them.

"I want to leave."

Ross' face falls, but West's eyes gleam with frustration.

"Sure, let me drop you off," West says carefully.

It feels like a trap, but I'll take any escape from the furious eyes of the alpha I can feel inside me.