21. Ava

I'm trying not to be bitter and hurt, but I am bitter and hurt! I'm more than just Ryder's little sister. I've been that my whole life. At work, in the community, and now here. I've never even so much as looked at one of his friends.

I should get to have a say in this, too. It's not just up to Travis. I get that he values his friendship and all, but come on. Can't he value me too?

"Oh hey, I was looking for you!" Mia steps out onto the porch, holding a plate full of fruit and a muffin.

"Hey! Good morning!"

"After breakfast, want to go down to the stable with me? I told Dad I'd check in with Manny and the horses."

"Sure." I take a sip of my coffee. It's cold. "I'm going to get more coffee and join you for breakfast."

I go inside and get a fresh cup of coffee, a muffin, and some grapes, although I don't feel hungry. I know I have to eat something.

"Oh good, you're back. Guess what?!" Mia says excitedly.

"What?"

"Daniel found out what happened last night–everyone at my school did! But Daniel sent me a message asking if I was ok!"

"Oh wow. That's nice."

"Yeah. And like a private message, to just me. Not even in our group chat. That has to mean something, right?"

"I would think so," I say flatly.

"What's wrong? You don't think Daniel likes me?"

"No, that's not it. It's just that guys can be hard to read. One minute, they like you; the next, they don't. They like to play hero. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Daniel isn't like that," Mia snaps.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It sounds very promising. Now, do you have a picture of him?"

She brightened up and showed me an album she had dedicated just to Daniel on her phone. He is a cute kid.

We finish our breakfast and drive the golf cart to the stables. Mia runs over to Shadow and gives her a big hug. The way she bends her head down into Mia is very sweet. I look around for Earl, standing alone by the fence, munching on some hay. He looks up at me, nods, and goes back to eating. We don't share the same bond as Mia and Shadow.

"Hey there, ladies." Manny comes out of the stable. "How're you doing this morning? I heard there was a lot of excitement last night."

"Yeah, there sure was!" Mia says.

"Yeah, it was pretty crazy. Travis went to the police station this morning with my brother."

"Yeah, and Dad wanted me to come check in with you. Who's ready for this afternoon's ride?"

"Well, only 4 of the ladies say they want to go. This group isn't the best at horseback riding, and I didn't want to push it. I think you'll have a lovely time. Just go easy on them."

"Ok, great."

"Yeah. Do you want me to come, or should I sit this one out?"

"I don't know. I think you should come if you want to!"

"Ok, as long as we don't get more riders, I'll go."

"Sounds good. We're going back to the house for now. See you in a few hours!" Mia says to Manny and turns back to Shadow. "I'll be back in a bit, sweet girl, and we'll have a good time! Love you." She kisses her nose.

"See ya later, Earl." I wave.

We get back to the house, and I just feel like being alone. I guess that is the problem here–I have nowhere to go. I"m constantly interrupted if I'm out on the porch or in any of the common areas. Hanging out in Travis' room alone doesn't feel great. Maybe I am ready to go home with Ryder.

"What's the matter?" Mia asks.

"Nothing, why?"

"You just seem quiet today. Maybe a little sad?"

"Oh, I'm just distracted. I've been in my head about this story I'm writing. I really need a quiet place to work on it."

"You can use Dad's office. I have the key."

"Oh no, that's ok."

"No, really. He really, really wants this story to be a success. I'm sure he'd do whatever it takes to make sure you write something great."

"Well, if you insist." He'd do whatever it takes, huh? I contemplate blackmailing him for another night of kissing–but that's a bad idea, right? Yeah, that's a terrible idea. I won't do that. But I could tell him one more kiss could make the story that much sweeter…no. No, I cannot say that.

That would be stooping to the same level as Chad. That'd be proving Chad right. I want Travis to want me for me. I don't know how I'm going to separate my feelings about Travis from this story, but I guess I'll have to find a way.

I set up my computer on his desk, closed the door, and got to writing. Before I knew it, a thought popped into my head.

Mia knocks on the door, and I shoo her away. I can't stop now.

A few minutes later, Travis comes in.

"Hey. I need to talk to you."

"Not now. I can't stop writing now."

"It's important. I think you're going to want to–"

"Travis, I can't, ok! I need to get this story out. If I stop now, there's no telling when I'll be able to pick it back up. The story is what you want, isn't it?" I snap.

He sighs. "Ava, please–"

"Not now. Please," I say and go back to my computer.

"So you're not going riding with us?"

"No. Words are flowing; I have to keep the creative juices flowing," I say without looking at him.

He closes the door and walks away without saying anything.