53

Judge Billings left the courtroom first, not waiting for the bailiff to announce his departure. He went back to chambers and took off his robe and put it on the hook. He used to toss it on his couch until his wife, Anna, bought him the coatrack for his birthday.

He shut the door, sat at his desk, and put one of his aching feet up. Turning fifty-nine this year, he was feeling the tug of age. It felt like gravity, an invisible force slowing him down. A man had to do what he could to fight it and make himself feel young. Sometimes he did good things to feel young and sometimes not so good things.

He opened the bottom drawer and took out his bottle of cognac and a tumbler and poured two fingers’ worth. He took a sip and savored the taste. His father used to drink cognac with a cigar every night before bed, and he would sit out on the porch with his father and listen to his stories while he drank and smoked.

The office phone buzzed. “Judge?”

“Mm?” His response carried a touch of irritation.

“Judge Dawson’s here to see you.”

He hesitated. “Let her in.”

The door opened, revealing Hope Dawson dressed in a blue suit accentuated with gold bracelets. Judge Billings always thought she looked like she was running for office or about to give a speech.

“Want a drink?” he said.

“Celebratory or sorrow?” Hope said as she shut the door and then sat across from him.

“Neither. Just a drink to drink.”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

He drank down a swallow. “Quite the case today.”

“How did it go?”

“The girl’s a mess, but she’s convincing.”

“And the competency?”

He observed her briefly. “The debate continues.”

“You have a sense of where you stand?”

His gaze held hers. “It’s inappropriate for the bench to come to any conclusions before hearing all the facts.”

“You’re human before you’re a judge. Humans naturally form views prematurely.”

She had a way of unsettling him, an unease he could never pinpoint. “Brown says he’s competent, and I’ve never seen a better forensic psychiatrist. Have you?”

“No. But I also know you’re unreasonably embarrassed of being overturned by the appellate court. If Ms. Bianchi makes a well-argued case, you may side with her to avoid the embarrassment of an overturned ruling.”

“I forgot, this is your baby, isn’t it? Your test case. Well, lemme tell you something, I’ve met Allen Bishop and he’s a pompous ass. You want to change people’s behavior, you have to punish them. Kids included. It’s the only way.”

“We impose the death penalty, but murders persist. It’s not severity of punishment, it’s certainty of punishment that deters crime.”

He sighed, reclining slightly. “What do you want?”

“I want to know which way you’re leaning.”

“I won’t tell you.”

“You already have,” she said with a grin, then rose. “And I know you hate Ms. Bianchi—”

“I don’t hate anybody that comes into—”

“Just keep it fair. You overrule her objections too much, and I don’t want this overturned.”

Judge Billings thought back to the hearing and knew Judge Dawson hadn’t been there. He wondered how she knew that he’d overruled Russo’s objections too much.

“What’s your interest in this? What do you care about some academic’s theories? There’s as many legal theories as lawyers.”

“Not like this. You can throw money at problems and only ever work at the edges. If you want change, it has to come from the ground up. It’s too late for this generation, but maybe not for the next.”

“ Change ,” he scoffed before taking a sip of his cognac. “Fantastic. I’ll keep it in mind. Now can you get the hell outta my chambers so I can drink in peace?”

Judge Dawson observed him, tilting her head subtly. She leaned in, their proximity allowing him to catch a hint of her perfume. With piercing gray eyes and delicate teeth, she remarked, “Valerie is quite striking. I’ve noticed all your clerks are young, blond, and remarkably attractive, aren’t they?”

His face went slack. “What does that—”

“She’s giddy every time you walk into a room. And I’m not an idiot, Grant, like your wife. But she doesn’t need to stay an idiot forever.”

Hope left.

Judge Billings poured more cognac.