Chapter 52

Chapter Fifty-Two

GREY

I notice how deplorable the motel is when Finn steps into the room and fills it with his dignified presence. He smoothes a hand down his expensive, white sweater and takes a seat on one of the boxes.

I sit on the edge of the bed, while Sloane remains standing beside me.

Finn's sharp, knowing eyes take in the chocolate wrapper hill and the files scattered everywhere, but he doesn't comment on it.

Watching him, I wonder how many things those intelligent eyes have seen that he's never spoken about.

After a while of silence, I frown. "Finn, you said you had information on The Grateful Project?"

He finally pins those mysterious brown eyes on me.

"Go on," I urge him, "what's so hard to say?"

"Have you heard of the Japanese yakuza?" He speaks in a calm, even tone.

My shoulders straighten.

"The yakuza head is my father."

I chuckle.

Finn stares frankly back at me.

"You're kidding, right?" I ask.

When his cold, unblinking gaze continues, I stop smiling and stare at him in shock. Sloane retreats to the wall and sinks against it, holding her knees to her chest.

"You're… the son of a drug lord?" I croak.

Finn nods.

"So The Grateful Project was orchestrated by your dad?"

Finn hesitates before nodding again.

My stomach lurches and I slap a hand to my mouth, afraid I'm going to throw up again.

"I…" The words choke in my throat. Nostrils flaring, I lower my head between my legs.

Finn rushes toward me. I hold up a hand, telling him to keep his distance. Taking deep breaths, I close my eyes and wait for the roiling in my stomach to calm.

Faintly, I hear a door open and close. When I feel well enough to straighten, I notice the room is empty except for Sloane.

She uses the wall for support and stumbles to her feet. "He has to be lying. There's no way something that crazy can be true."

As crazy as it is, it does make sense. Jarod Cross has always been respectful of Finn, shielding him rather than using him as emotional target practice. Zane himself told me that Finn has the least turbulent relationship with their father.

Finn was also in the car the first time the tinted black vehicle tried to ram us off the highway. At that time, I thought they gave up because of Zane's quick thinking. But what if the real reason the mysterious car fled was because they spotted Finn in the backseat?

A water bottle appears beneath my nose. I glance up and find Finn standing close. His face is completely impassive and he's not even looking at me. I wouldn't be able to guess he'd worriedly dashed to get the water if not for the state of his wind-torn hair.

"You can't trust him, " Sloane gives Finn the evil eye. "He might have drugged that drink."

So much for her short-lived crush.

I ignore her and take the cool refreshing liquid. "Thanks."

Finn nods.

I cap the water bottle and stare at him with new eyes. "Want to start from the beginning?"

"Not really." He glances away. A muscle jumps in his solid jaw and I would give anything to know what's going through his mind right now.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I'm tired of seeing my brother hurt."

My eyebrows fly up.

I sense Sloane scooting closer.

Finn looks aside and mumbles to himself, "Zane will kill me for this."

I rise unsteadily, silently urging him not to stop.

"Zane is… struggling. His cast is off, but he hasn't touched the drums. He doesn't smile, doesn't joke around, doesn't laugh. He spends hours looking at this app. At this tracker. At you. "

The knot in my stomach tightens and I rub my scar.

"He went ballistic when your tracker shut down. We had to convince him not to call the police. I told him I'd come check on you."

My heart throbs. "Well, he could have checked himself."

"He won't."

"Because he doesn't care."

"Because the moment he sees you, he won't be able to leave."

My nostrils flare and I turn slightly away.

Finn's soft but deep-as-a-cavern voice rumbles behind me. "You need to know what Zane did to save you. And you need to know why he did it."

"What if I tell you I don't want to know?" I challenge him. "What if I tell you that I don't need saving and I don't want a hero? What if I tell you Zane broke us when he chose to destroy the evidence and my entire investigation? What if I say there's no going back from that?"

Finn watches me with those cold, guarded eyes. "Then I'd say you were lying."

I bristle. It's one thing for Sloane to call me out, but there's a sharpness to Finn that's even more pointed because of his newly-revealed family connections.

"You look just as devastated as he does. You're in just as much pain as he is."

"I'm not?—"

"Shush." Sloane sticks a finger up, hovering over my lips. She looks tired, her eyes red-rimmed.

Finn gives me a strange look when I focus on him again.

"You should get dressed," he says.

"Are you taking me to Zane?" I lean back.

Eyes glowing a soft brown, Finn taunts, "Are you scared?"

I don't answer that.

He unleashes one of his classic, half-grins that feel magical and mystical and dangerous. "I guess that answers that."

"Answers what?" I demand.

Finn just looks at me.

You know… I'm starting to think Finn is the most annoying Cross brother. Why is he so dang cryptic?

"Tell me or you're failing Lit."

Even as he smiles, his eyes glint with an edge. And, when Finn opens his mouth to talk, I know it's because he chose to, not because I threatened him.

"You're not as oblivious as you pretend to be. You're aware that Zane loves you at least. If you didn't know that, you wouldn't be so scared of seeing him again, of forgiving him."

I glance away, grudgingly admitting. "Of course I know he loves me. And of course I know why he destroyed the evidence."

Finn tilts his head.

"Zane would never let anything get between us. Rules mean nothing to him. We both know that. He gets what he wants because he wants it. You and Dutch are the same. But here's the thing, Finn. Even if I know how he feels… love isn't always enough. Every time we get too close, we break each other. No, he breaks me. This wasn't right from the start. I told Zane once that I'd rather stand in the light than in the darkness. And the only place where I can be with Zane is where there isn't light."

Finn shakes his head. "You don't get it."

"Get what? " I shriek in frustration.

"You are Zane's light."

My heart hiccups to my throat.

"And darkness isn't inherently evil. Darkness is just a life without light. That's it." He runs a hand through his hair. "Zane was fine before he met you at Redwood. He didn't know what light was, so it didn't bother him to live without it. After he married you, that all changed. He had sunshine in his hands, but he still made the choice to let you go. He still chose to protect you, to lose you. Are you really going to deny him after all he gave up?"

"So the moral of your story is that I'm Zane's reward for being mature? Forget what I want?"

Finn looks amused.

"Don't tell me…" I glance behind him, "you admitted you're the next heir of the yakuza as a threat? Am I going to be forcefully removed, tied in a bow and delivered under Zane's Christmas tree?"

A corner of his lips curl up. "You think Zane could wait until Christmas to have you?"

Prickles of heat run up my arms when I remember Zane's lips teasing its way down my body and skating between my thighs.

Steeling myself against the memories, I spit, "I'm nobody's trophy, Finn."

He looks unfazed. "You really don't know what's going on, do you? Have you looked at Jinx's app once?"

"Oh, I saw Jinx's app," I spit bitterly.

"I'm not talking about that drunk video of Zane being an idiot after you broke up. Have you checked after that?"

I frown. There's no way I'm admitting to Finn that I couldn't stomach turning on Jinx's app after the video.

Finn walks over to the door. "Come with me. Let me show you why Zane prefers to break you than lose you."

"No. I'm no longer Zane's wife and I'm not working for The Kings, so tell me right now where we're going or I'm not leaving."

"I'll take you to him," Finn says simply.

"To who?"

"My father."