Chapter 13

Josey

While Daxton and the children were away, Josey peeled and cut up potatoes, carrots, and celery. Then she arranged them around a roast and added seasoning. Next, she added water and replaced the lid on an iron Dutch oven—that she found under the counter—and slid it into the oven.

Soon, the heavenly aroma of pot roast filled the house. Josey wanted to surprise Daxton and the children when they arrived. She knew they would be tired and hungry after their trip to Laramie, and she wanted to have something for them to eat when they got home.

Home.

It was a small word that carried the weight of the world. Never had she planned to find a home with Daxton and his children, but the more she stayed, the more attached she became. She knew it was time to leave, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. At that moment, she knew she loved them.

As she waited for the roast to cook, she cleaned the house, did the laundry on a wash board, and then sat in the rocking chair to rest. She had planned to make enough bread for the week while she had the house to herself but fell asleep and slept a bit longer than expected.

When she woke, it was already after noon. She checked on the roast and it had a little while longer to cook. So, she scrubbed the kitchen table, wiped it dry, and then set out to make biscuits. She was elbow-deep in flour when she heard someone beat on the door.

Bang, bang, bang!

Her heart stopped.

Nothing.

Bang, bang, bang!

“Josey, it’s me! Open up!”

“Daxton?” Why did he sound so harsh? So gruff? Was something wrong with the children. She rushed to the door and flung it open wide. “Daxton? Is something wrong?” Her heart beat wildly as she waited, afraid of what she might hear. What had happened in Laramie? Then her heart sank.

He knew.

Daxton didn’t answer her, but turned to the children, who where watching with wide eyes. “Children, go upstairs and wait in Andrew’s room. I need to speak with Josey... alone.”

“Yes um,” they both said in unison and hurried up the stairs.

“Daxton, you’re scaring me.” Josey took a step closer and reached for his hand, but he pulled away. Her eyebrows pulled together in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Daxton paced with his hands on his hips. Then he took her arm and pulled her toward the door. “Come on.”

Josey hurried to keep up. “Let me go! Daxton, what’s happening?” Pain ripped through her arm as he pulled her toward the barn. “Daxton, let me go! You’re hurting me!” When they reached the barn, he pushed her roughly inside but left the door open. Josey turned around and Daxton’s face was cast into shadow, the bright sun streaming in behind him casting him into silhouette.

His sudden change in behavior suddenly reminded her of Logan. How could she have been so wrong about Daxton?

“Don’t you ever treat me that way again!” She brushed herself off and straightened her dress and sleeves. She started to storm off, but he stepped in front of her. “Get out of my way!”

“No.”

Josey let out a deep breath as anger quickly replaced her fear. “Daxton, I only feared one man in my life, and now I don’t. But I’m definitely not afraid of you.” She took a step closer to look into his eyes. “Now. Get out of my way. I’ll talk to you when you’re calm.”

Daxton grabbed her arm, stopping her. “You’ll talk to me now.”

The only time she had known men to treat her this way was when they were drunk... except for Logan. It had started off to be just when he was drunk, but then graduated to all of the time, any time he chose.

Josey narrowed her eyes, staring Daxton down, refusing to show any fear. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere until we’ve talked about this.”

Josey’s heart sank, fearing the worst. “Talked about what?”

Daxton let out a deep breath, releasing her arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Josey asked in disbelief. She knew she should have just told him everything right then, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words... that she had killed her husband.

“That you were married to Logan Slater, that’s what!” Daxton let her arm go, but blocked the entrance to the barn, preventing her exit.

“Calm down. The children will hear you.”

“That’s why I brought you out here!” Daxton turned around, obviously trying to calm himself. He whirled around a moment later, his eyes wild. “Do you know that his brother came close to killing my children today?”

“What?” Josey asked in disbelief. “How did he know them?”

Daxton bit his lower lip, obviously trying to calm himself. “It appears that my new deputy knows your family.”

“They’re not my family,” Josey replied flatly, anger welling up inside of her. She regretted the day that she ever saw Logan Slater, let alone marry him, and she never wanted to be associated with them again. But she knew that was impossible. During her time with Daxton, she had hoped that her life with Logan would go away. But deep down, she knew that it never would. She would be branded as the wife of an outlaw for the rest of her days.

She tried to walk past Daxton, but he caught her and pushed her back, causing her to stumble. But she caught herself before she fell. She stood straight and smoothed her dress again. “Well. I’m glad I saw this side of you before—”

“Before what?” Daxton demanded, throwing his arms into the air. “Before I married you?” He took a step closer, causing Josey to step back. “Josey, you’re already married!”

Josey shook her head as tears slid down her cheeks. “No, I’m not. Not anymore.”

“Well, that’s rich,” Daxton replied in disbelief. “Logan doesn’t seem to think so! Why else would he have his brother out looking for you?”

He didn’t know. Or at least he didn’t know everything. But how could she tell him? How could she tell anyone that Logan would never come for her... because he was dead! No, she couldn’t tell anyone what she had done, not even Daxton.

She swiped a hand across her face, wiping the angry tears away from her cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll be gone before nightfall.”

Daxton shook his head. “No. I’m the sheriff and we have to get to the bottom of this. Please, tell me what happened. Why did you run?”

If she told him, Josey knew that she would hang for the murder of her husband. Who would believe the wife of an outlaw? That she had killed him in self-defense? People judged her because of Logan, thinking she was the same as him. Because of him, people branded her an outlaw, too. She now knew that escaping that life, escaping Logan, was impossible… even from the grave. And she couldn’t put Daxton or the children through that. Through the judgement and admonishment she would endure when her past caught up with her… like today.

No, she could never tell anyone. If Daxton found out, he would take her back to Laramie for trial… and she was never going back there again. Why would she? So Austin could have the satisfaction of watching her hang?

No, thank you.

Daxton let out a slow, calming breath. “I need to know how I can protect you... and my family at the same time. But if you’re married to one of them, before or now, then my children are in danger.”

“Then, tell me this!” A fresh wave of tears coursed down her cheeks. “Why is Austin still free? He’s committed murders, bank robberies... you name it and he’s done it... and he’s still free! Why?” she asked, turning the tables on him. “Where was the law when I needed them? When Logan came after me over and again? Where is the law now?” She swiped a hand angrily across her cheek to wipe away the tears. “I’ve been trying to get away from the Slaters since I married Logan, but it’ll never happen. Because as soon as I get away and try to start a new life, then as sure as I’m standing here, they will find me.” She looked away, biting her lip to calm herself, and then looked back. “I’m sorry to have involved you in all of this. May I just stay until sundown and then I’ll go?”

“No, Josey! I can’t let you do that!”

“Then I’ll go now.”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Because I love you!” Daxton pulled her into his arms and his lips crushed hers, angry at first, but then filled with passion.

Josey beat against his chest, trying to free herself, but then went limp in his arms, defeated as passion and love rushed through her, a love like nothing she had ever known before. At that moment, she knew there was no one that she would ever want more than Daxton Clark. But it could never be. She allowed herself the luxury of this one kiss, for it would have to sustain her for a lifetime. The dream was gone. Shattered into a million pieces. When she pulled back, tears ran down her face. “Daxton, it could never work out.”

“Shh....” He placed a finger gently to her lips. “Once their gang is put behind bars, you won’t have anything to fear. We could start a new life—”

“Daxton, I can’t.” How could she tell him that she would never want anything more than him? That he had ruined her for all other men? “If knowing you has taught me one thing, it’s knowing that not all men will treat me... disrespectfully. I thank you for that.”

“So, this is it?” Daxton had tears in his eyes, too.

“I don’t know any other way it can be.” This time, when Josey walked past him, Daxton let her go.

Josey walked into the house and the children came slowly down the stairs, their eyes wide, unsure. The last thing she ever wanted for them, or her own child, was an unsteady environment.

Josey went straight into the kitchen. The pot roast would be nothing but charcoal if she let it stay in the oven too long. As it was, it had been cooking for a while, but she knew that it would be fine. At that moment, Josey could have cared less if the pot roast was cooked to perfection, over cooked, burned to a crisp, or anything between. This would be her last meal here. Probably her last decent meal for a while. And even though it was his food, she had cooked it. She had to eat even if she had to choke it down… for the sake of her baby.

Daxton came in and watched her work but said nothing.

“Would you mind if I eat one last meal here?” Josey asked out of courtesy without turning around, unable to look into his eyes.

Then she felt Daxton’s hands on her upper arms. “Have many meals here. Have every meal here for the rest of your life.”

Josey shook her head. “Can’t.” She had to keep her responses brief to hold back the tears. She had already cried in front of him, and she wasn’t going to let it happen again.

“Here. I’ll get that.” Daxton gently moved her aside and then lifted the heavy iron pan from the oven. “When did you do this?”

Josey shrugged. “While you were away. I wanted to surprise you.” Instead, he got a surprise that he didn’t want when he went to Laramie. She was sure he had had enough surprises to last a lifetime… and so had she.

Lillian jumped up and wrapped her arms around Josey’s waist. “Don’t go, Josey. Pa won’t let that bad man hurt you.” Then she looked up at her father with pleading eyes. “Will you, Pa?”

“It’s not that simple,” Josey responded before Daxton could answer. Then she stooped down to look into her eyes. “Sweetie, I would never leave you, if I could help it.”

“Then don’t,” a voice came from behind her.

Josey turned around and Andrew was standing there.

“Children,” Josey forced a smile through her tears, touched by their kindness. “Let’s make the most of the time we have together.” She ruffled Andrew’s hair to lighten the mood, the way she had seen Daxton do countless times. “I’ll tell you what. Let’s eat and have fun tonight. Let’s not waste time being sad. I want to remember you smiling.”

Daxton took a step closer and whispered, “If you like, Harrison Curry has plenty of rooms at the hotel. He’s strong enough to keep you safe. Or you can stay here, and we’ll figure something out.”

She shook her head, knowing that she couldn’t let him put her—or anyone—before his own children. That much, she understood. In the short time that she had been pregnant, she knew that she would do anything for her child... including giving her own life.

“No, but thank you,” she whispered. “Let’s not do this in front of the children.” She looked over at the children and they were hanging on every word.

“Andrew,” Daxton interjected. “You and your sister set the table for Josey.”

“Yes, Pa,” Andrew replied and then took his sister’s hand, who was watching with wide eyes.

But Lillian quickly pulled away. “I can set the table. You go get washed up.” She glared at Josey, still talking to her brother. “I’ve been doing this for a while now.”

Pain ripped through Josey’s chest. She had hurt Lillian and Andrew... and she hadn’t intended to hurt anyone… least of all them.

For a moment, she thought of staying. But how could she endanger their lives like that? If Austin found out that Daxton had hidden her, he would kill not only Daxton, but the children, too. No, the only thing for her to do was to leave.

She just hoped that one day, they’d understand.

Josey waited until she was sure Daxton was asleep, taking only just the clothes on her back. Opening the door slightly, she peered into the living room. Daxton was asleep, snoring loudly. He must have been exhausted. She was sure that her leaving hadn’t helped matters much. But then again, he hadn’t objected. But the last thing she wanted to do was to put Daxton or the children in harm’s way.

Josey crept around Daxton and then out the front door, closing it softly behind her, careful not to wake him.

Then, she ran.

She ran throughout the night following the stars, headed north. As she ran, the horror that had abated while she had been with Daxton was now back with a vengeance. But heading north was her only hope. She didn’t dare go toward Laramie. No, she had to put as much distance between her and Austin as she could. She had suspected that the law in Laramie had been turning a blind eye to Austin and Logan’s gang for a while. How else could they have lived so close to a town without word getting out? No, the more she thought about it, the more she suspected that the sheriff in Laramie was in his pocket.

Not everyone was as good as Daxton... even law enforcement officers.

Daxton took his job seriously, along with his commitment to uphold the law. Since he had reacted the way he did when he found out that she had been married to Logan, she could imagine how he would react when he found out that she had killed him. Even though it had been in self-defense, it wouldn’t matter. Logan was still dead... and she was responsible.

Josey wished she would have trusted Daxton enough to be completely honest with him from the beginning. But she had her unborn child to think about, just as he had his own children.

Tears streamed down her face as she ran. And the farther she went, the more she couldn’t get Daxton out of her mind. She had fallen in love with him... and, of course, his children. She hadn’t meant to; it just happened. But she and Logan hadn’t had a good relationship for a while, if ever. And Josey had always vowed that if she ever got away from him, she would never marry anyone else again.

Then, she met Daxton.

He had been the first man in her life to show her kindness. The first man that she had ever felt comfortable around. The first man who had opened his heart to her... despite what he had been through. And he was the first man to open her heart in a very long time.

Josey ran through the darkness, following the North Star, hoping to find freedom, hoping beyond all hope that this mess would one day be behind her. That one day she could finally be free to live a good, decent life.

She stumbled and fell more than once, skinning her knees under the long skirt of her dress. She wished she could get as lucky as she had before when she found the man’s clothing and the straw hat. But a straw hat and men’s clothes weren’t going to save her. Not now. Not ever. Josey knew she would never know peace again. She would be running for the rest of her life. And if Austin had his way about it, he would never let her go. He would never rest until she was dead.

A sharp pain suddenly shot through her stomach. No! She couldn’t lose this baby... even if it was Logan’s. She loved this baby and would do anything to protect him or her. Another sharp pain grabbed her. Josey held her stomach as she leaned against a tree. She needed to find a place to rest. Some place safe. A place where Austin couldn’t find her.

But she couldn’t stay here. She couldn’t stop. Not yet.

Josey began walking again, not willing to take a chance with the baby’s life. A strange feeling of weakness came over her, and she knew she couldn’t go much farther.

A tree branch cracked behind her... and she started running again. She looked behind her and then she suddenly fell down through the earth, down, down, until she landed with a hard thud on the ground.

“Oh!” she moaned, half delirious from the pain, half delirious from exhaustion.

Josey looked around and it was dark. The only light came from the stars above that shone from a hole high above her. Was she in a cave or a hole in the ground? Whatever it was... wherever she was... it was clear that it was deep and that she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Josey had thought of calling for help, but she was afraid that Austin would hear her and would find her. For Daxton to find her first would be a miracle, and too much to ask.

She held her stomach and leaned back against the wall of the cavern, watching the stars. At least she was hidden, out of view. As she watched the stars moving across the night sky, she just hoped beyond all hope that everything would work out. But she had no idea how it could.

“God, I don’t have a right to ask,” she whispered, looking up at the stars, rubbing her stomach. “But please, show me the way.”

Soon, exhaustion and the darkness overtook her as she closed her eyes, hoping it wasn’t for the last time.