Chapter 19

R utgar was right—we did learn more about each other, I also learned some new things about myself. I learned that he favours his right side when punches and that he gets a sick pleasure from hurting people. I learned that he hates it when I swear at him, and he always punches harder after that. I also learned that this was only the start of it. He wanted me bruised and bloodied for some reason, and only used the knuckle duster and his own fists. The knives and instruments were for show, to scare me, but I know that sooner or later, he'll begin using them. If he truly wanted to hurt me, there are ways of doing so without leaving marks on the body. This is a message, I just haven't figured out who that message is for yet.

Leaning forward in the chair as far as my restraints will let me, I breathe deeply, my face aching as my chest rattles with each breath I take. I'm sure my ribs are broken, and without my wolf, my healing will be slow like a human's. Rutgar is currently sharpening a knife in the corner of the room, but I pay him no attention, since that's exactly what he wants. He craves the feeling of being in control. Footsteps sound outside the room before a knock breaks the silence.

"I think our time together is over for now, Ari," he remarks with a wistful sigh as he walks over to the door and pulls it open to allow two agents into the room. They don't bother bringing a whole group of them, they know they won't need to, I'm too weak. I'm not sure how long I've been locked away with Rutgar, but it feels like days, each second ticking by agonisingly slowly.

From my slumped forward position, I can only just see them through a layer of hair, but they can't see my expression, which is probably a good thing since I'm sure it's pretty feral. Hands land on me, and I throw back my head, growling at the guard who dared touch me. Jumping back, the guard eyes me warily before looking over at his colleague, obviously not expecting a fight from me.

I may be cut off from my wolf, but those instincts are still there, and right now, I don't have words. The civil part of me has been driven away by pain, and my instincts are the only thing I have left to protect me. Whatever, whoever is blocking my connection with my wolf is dangerous and needs to die. They seem to have figured out a way to block my shadow power too. In desperation, I had reached for them, trying to escape from Rutgar's brutal brand of questioning, but had found them sluggish and unresponsive, like they were just out of reach.

"Didn't break this one in yet?" The guard's voice snaps me out of my daze, and I force myself to sit up in the chair, as much as my bindings will allow. He's right—he's not broken me. I've been through worse. You don't grow up in a pack like Shadow Pack without scars. I survived that, I can get through this, plus, I have my mates I need to get back to.

"Ari is special." Rutgar's voice comes from behind me, and I have to fight a flinch as his hand lands on my shoulder. I won't give the bastard the satisfaction. "Today was just a little welcome and a taste of what's to come. Isn't that right, pet?" he says with a smile as he walks around to face me. His use of the endearment makes me growl, and his smile widens, knowing full well that it bothers me. Back in England, ‘pet' is used as a term of affection, but I know he's using it not only because he knows this, but because I'm a shifter and we hate being treated like animals. Truthfully, it doesn't bother me much, words can't hurt me, but I would prefer he thinks this bothers me rather than move on to something else.

Hands land on my arms, and my growling doesn't have the same effect, they simply tighten their grip as they release my bonds, hauling me up between them as my legs give way. At one point, my pride would have been damaged at being dragged out of the room, but I'm just so happy to be taken from that place that I don't give a damn about bruised pride.

With their arms under my shoulders, I'm hauled unceremoniously down the corridor, my legs dragging behind me. My shoulders are screaming in pain from being pulled like this, but the pain in my face and abdomen overrides the other feelings in my body. Stopping briefly at a locked door, the guards fumble with a security pad, but I keep my head bowed, since there's too much pain running through me to look up. As we wait, a drop of blood falls from my face, splashing onto the perfect white tile beneath me, and I watch it with a numb detachment. A mumbling catches my attention, and I realise the guards are talking to one another.

"He did a number on her face. Fucking Butcher, fucking up the only pretty face we've had around here for months," the guard on my right grumbles quietly, and I get the impression he doesn't want to be overheard. Movement on my left tells me that his colleague is trying to get a better look at me.

"He doesn't usually leave them looking like this."

"No, he has other, more subtle ways of causing them pain. I watched once, it's fucked up what he can do." Disgust lines his voice and a flash of hope fills me. If he disagrees with what's happening here, then could he be a potential ally?

"Then why do this to her? What did she do?"

"He's a fucking psychopath, who knows what goes through his head."

The door buzzes and the guards fall silent again as they pull me through the open door. This part of the building is different than where we were before, it looks the same, but it has a different feel to it, like all the hope has been sucked out of the room. Through the curtain of hair that has fallen over my face, I can just make out rows of cages, their cold metal bars lined up next to each other and sad, huddled figures pressed against the wall at their backs.

"They want her in that one," the first guard suddenly says as they move through the room, my shoulders screaming.

"But they never put anyone in that cell, it's reserved, right?"

"Yeah, for her ." There's a pause as the other guard realises what this means, and I can almost feel him reassessing me.

"Shit, she's one of them?"

"I guess that's what the Butcher's trying to find out."

The soft beeping of a keypad, followed by a metallic clicking, tells me they've opened one of the cells, and I'm unceremoniously thrown forward, and the loud banging of the door behind me has me flinching away from the noise. As soon as the door locks behind me, my skin starts to ripple. I fall back as pain races across my body as my wolf is suddenly released from whatever magical binding was holding her. The sounds of footsteps fade as the guards leave the room, the outer door locking behind them, and I finally let go of the pent-up breath I've been holding on to. My ribs scream in agony as the fractures move with my deep inhales, and I can't help the grunt of pain that escapes me as my wolf tries to force me to change forms so I can heal quicker. My pained noises must have disturbed my neighbour in the cell next to me, as movement out the corner of my eye catches my attention, although I quickly focus back on trying to calm my wolf. I can't risk shifting. If I can access my wolf, then I'm betting my bonds with the guys are back, and if all they feel is fear and pain, then they will come storming down to the headquarters to get me, and there is no way the five of them alone would get me out. I need to get control, to focus, but it's difficult when I'm in so much pain.

"No," a croaking male voice calls out, the tone rough and unused, but I pay it no attention until a flashing light has my head whipping around to look at the huddled figure by the side of my cell. "Ari?" His voice is pained, like I'd just told him terrible news, and he's holding his hand like he's been burnt, the bars still smoking where he'd obviously tried to touch. Dread pools in my stomach. Does ASP have someone I know? Shuffling closer, I try to see through my swollen eyelids, my vision blurry as I focus on the figure in the cell next to mine. Shock and realisation rock me to my core as I stare at the haggard figure.

"Em?" I'd only ever seen him in the Shadow Realm and I've never been able to see his full features due to the glow that would cling to him, but seeing him here, he looks like he's aged twenty years. His body is frail and battered, and cuts and bruises mar the skin that's on show.

"They got you." His voice cracks, and for a moment, I think he's going to cry, the weight of the world seeming to settle on his shoulders. "I worked so hard to make sure you were never found."

"What's going on? I thought you were being protected. You said you worked for ASP." The questions keep coming, my mind frantically trying to keep up with the revelations from the last day.

"Things changed." His voice is weary as he rubs his hands across his haggard face. "ASP worked out that there was a faction group and have started randomly interrogating their agents. One of the weaker agents let it slip that I was Shadowborn, and I ended up in here," he explains, and I feel fury start to build in me that Em and the others were put at risk because someone couldn't keep their mouth shut. "I don't blame him, his family was being threatened, and now it's taken some of the pressure off the other agents who are still undercover."

Sitting back on the cool floor of the cell, I reassess Em and what I know about him. I'm still not a hundred percent certain that I trust him, but I can't deny that a part of me cares for him and doesn't want to see him hurt, like a crazy uncle you don't see often and you're never quite sure what he'll do next. Whether I like it or not, he's tangled in my past. He tried to save me as a pup, and in return, he was captured by ASP, and I had no idea he even existed.

"What happened to the agent who told them about you?" My face screams in pain as I speak, my wounds pulling. I suspect I already know what happened to the agent, but I need to know. ASP isn't known for its forgiving nature.

"He was branded a traitor and publicly killed."

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath as I try to calm myself. I didn't know this agent, he betrayed Em and the other agents in the faction group, but I'm just so tired of all this death. A wave of love hits me in the chest like a physical blow, the sense of Killian and Eric so strong, it's like they're in the room with me, and I have to lean forward as my wolf tries to take control. She wants to be with her mates, to shift forms so she's not hurting anymore, but I fight her, I need to be human right now. Closing my eyes, I focus and return the feeling, opening my heart to them and showing them how I truly feel. It hurts and it's raw, but I let them see my feeling for them, broken pieces and all. I also try to send a thought to them, telling them not to come after me. I know Killian will object, he'll want to fight to get me back, but I hope Eric can stop him. He's more sensible and can reason with Kill. If they come now, it will only lead to their capture and deaths, and I can't live with that.

"I'm sorry." Em's voice pulls me out of my musings, my heart still raw, but I'm feeling a bit lighter now that I've been able to let my mates know I'm alive.

"What are you apologising for?" I ask, curious. There are many things he could be apologising for, not that they are his fault, but I want to know what's causing that pained look he's giving me.

"They did it on purpose to hurt me." Shaking my head at his words, I wince at a bolt of pain the moment caused.

"What are you talking about?" The words are forced out through gritted teeth, pain and exhaustion driving my wolf close to the surface, and I'm sure my eyes are glowing with my power .

"Your face. They have creative ways of causing agony without leaving a mark, he hurt you like that to get to me."

"I'll heal, I've had worse." In fact, I can feel myself healing already. I may sound full of bravado, and it's true, I've had worse, but I'm terrified of what Rutgar has in store for me. My only blessing is that my connection with my wolf and the guys is cut off in that room, otherwise they would be living it through me and there is no way they would be able to hold off attacking ASP then. Uncertainty washes through me, would the guys really just sit back and let this happen? If the situation was reversed, I know I would stop at nothing to get my guys back. I need to get out of here and quickly, before they do something stupid. "What's our plan?"

"You think you can escape?" His dull laugh echoes around the room, mocking me. "Our shadow powers don't work in here, there's something blocking it. There's no way out, we're stuck here."

The hopelessness in his voice and dull look in his eyes tells me he's given up. The thought of never seeing my mates again, my new pack, Tori, sends a ripple of pain, both emotionally and physically, through me as my wolf takes control of my body. I'm not strong enough to stop her this time, and my cry of pain turns into a mournful howl as my broken bones shift and stretch.

The shift was painful, it always is when my human form is so damaged, but it's a relief to be in my wolf form. Strange whining noises catch my attention from my curled-up position, and as I lift my head, I blink as I look around the cells we are contained in, my muzzle sniffing the air as I try to see who's in such pain.

"Ari." My ears flick towards the familiar voice, which is full of pain and sadness. Turning my head, I see the man that human-Ari thinks of as family. He looks exhausted, and his face is contorted as if he's in great pain. "Come here, little one," he calls out, his hand outstretched towards me. That's when I realise it's me making the noises. I'm in pain and this place is strange, full of worrying smells and odd sounds. The bars around my cage seem to buzz with an unseen barrier that I know will sting me like the time I tried to eat a bee as a cub. I'm a fierce, strong wolf, as strong as any male alpha, but right now, I'm scared, my ears flat to my head and my hackles raised. The only familiar thing in this room is the man on the other side of the bars. Standing up on shaky paws, I make my way slowly to the man, snarling at him as he reaches for me. He hastily pulls back his hand, bowing his head to me in reverence. Seeing he's paying the proper respect, I drop down next to the bars that separate us, curl up and wrap my tail around me, resting my head on my front paws. After a few minutes, I feel a tentative hand land on my back, stroking my soft fur, and when I don't snap or bite him, he continues, the touch comforting in a place full of fear.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep while I was in wolf form. Memories of Em's large, warm hand on my back, comforting my wolf, are fresh in my mind. Back in human form, I look around, finding a ratty sheet covering my bare form. Remembering my quick shift yesterday, I realise I must've ripped my clothes, so when I changed back during the night, I would have been naked. I frown and clutch the sheet to my chest, not sure how I feel about Em seeing me naked, but it's a hundred times better that he was able to throw the cover over me.

Glancing over at his cage, I see he's not there, and I wonder when they took him away and how I managed to sleep through it. I know that healing so quickly can cause some shifters to fall into a deep, coma-like sleep while they heal, but I find it hard to believe I didn't hear anything . Lifting a hand gingerly to my face, I press against the skin, surprised to find that I only feel a little discomfort. I lift the sheet and look down at my abdomen, which was covered in black bruises and cuts yesterday, but is now only marred with greenish, fading bruises. Working with humans for so long makes me underestimate the strength of our inner animals and the healing of shifters. I'm sure I still look like shit, but at least I can move around without worrying about puncturing a lung.

A black object catches my eye, lying just outside the front of my cell. Frowning, I crawl over slowly, still clutching the sheet to my chest. I'm not usually modest, but I don't want these bastards seeing me that way. As I reach the pile, I realise it's clothing. Why would they do something like this for me? I lift the loose male shirt and something falls to the ground as I unfold the clothing. Reaching down, I see that it's a feather, like that from an eagle, and suddenly it makes sense—Aiden.

Glancing between the clothing and the sheet I'm clutching to myself, I look around the room, catching a glimpse of movement in the corner—a camera, zooming in on me. Sick bastards. Am I going to let them watch me cower behind a dirty sheet as I get dressed? Fuck no. Giving them the middle finger, I carefully stand, wincing with the echo of pain from my injuries, and drop the sheet, baring myself as I start to get dressed. The clothes are too large for me, and all men's clothing, but I don't care, I'm just grateful to be wearing something again. The clothes smell like bird, and I realise they must be Aiden's. My wolf isn't happy about wearing another male's clothes, but beggars can't be choosers.

My muscles feel sore and stiff, so I gently start to stretch out in the space the cramped cell allows me. My newly healed muscles protest at the movement, but I need to keep myself warm. I have no intention of staying here, and I won't have much hope of escaping if I'm out of shape.

The sound of footsteps makes me pause as I wait to see if they come this way, and the beeping on the keypad confirms my suspicions as four guards march into the room. Normally, I'd feel offended at that they think four guards could contain me, but after how they controlled my wolf yesterday, I'm not so sure.

The guards' faces are all covered as before, but as one of them steps forward, I see a mark on the top of his uniform that the others don't have. I guess this one is in charge then. Leaning back against the wall behind me, I cross my arms and smile at them with a bravado I don't feel.

"Morning, boys, what delights have I got in store for me today?"

"Shut the fuck up and come with us," the one in charge growls out as he steps into my cell, the others following closely behind. The space so crowded, I can hardly move without brushing into one of them. Hands grab me and I'm quickly bustled out of the cell, and as soon as I step over the threshold, my connection with my wolf is cut off. Interesting. Two guards take hold of my arms, the other standing behind me as the leader takes his place in front of us as we begin to head out of the room.

"My, such foul language, your mother would be so ashamed." I tut, shaking my head in mock disgust, my lips twitching in amusement at his growl. Spinning around, he raises his arm and smacks me across the face, the blow sending me barrelling into the guard on my left.

"I said shut. Up," he snarls in my face. The guard holding me up on my left shoves me off him, and I taste blood in my mouth, my head ringing from the sudden blow. Looking at the faceless dickhead, I spit at him, wishing he wasn't wearing a mask so I could see his expression.

"You little bitch—" His arm is raised and I brace myself for another blow, but someone comes to my rescue.

"Ace, what's the hold up? They're waiting for her, you wanna keep the Butcher waiting?" I would groan at hearing Ryan's snide voice, but the thought of seeing Rutgar again makes my blood freeze and I have to fight to keep myself standing up.

The guard in charge, Ace, drops his arm and turns his attention to Ryan, nodding his head in respect. Interesting, so Ryan and Aiden are higher up in ASP than we had thought.

After that little show, we are quickly led back towards the room I'd been in yesterday, and no matter how much I fight it, I can't stop the tremble in my limbs as I see the open door to Rutgar's room.

"There's no point in resisting anymore, Em, you might as well give me what I want. Just tell me what I need to know, and I'll call Rutgar off." I recognise Hunter's voice as we near the doorway, and as we step across the threshold, I'm surprised to see the room so full.

Em is strapped into the chair, his arms bleeding from multiple cuts as Rutgar leans over him, dragging a knife through the wounds, prolonging the pain. It hurts so much more to cut an already open wound than to cause a new one, and the Butcher knows this if the sick, serene smile on his face is anything to go by. Standing in the corner of the room is someone I haven't seen before, but the intense way he's looking at me makes me feel like I should know him. I try to figure out what he is. There's something strange about him, and I realise it's a void, a nothingness around him.

"Oh good, Ari, you're here." Hunter's voice breaks me out of my staring match with the stranger in the corner.

"No, leave her out of this!" Em shouts, his voice ragged and broken, like he's been screaming. My heart breaks, and I try to pull my arms from the guards, to help, to do something , but no matter how much I pull, without my wolf, I'm not strong enough against two shifters holding me in place. I can deal with a lot, hell, beatings were a pastime in my old pack, but I'm not sure I can cope with watching them inflicting torture on Em.

"Then give me what I want." Hunter's voice is light, like he's only asking a reasonable question.

"You're a fucking lunatic! I can't give you what isn't possible."

"Is that so?" Hunter's voice darkens, and as he turns to me, my blood freezes again, my stomach dropping as I realise what's about to happen. "Ari, I'm afraid our friend here isn't cooperating, and you're going to have to bear his punishment."

"No! You fucking bastards!" Em screams, thrashing against his restraints, but whatever nullifying force they're using on us combined with hours of torture makes him weak as they drag him from the chair.

"Just tell me how I become Shadowborn. That's all I'm asking."

Hands start to push me towards the chair, and bile starts to rise up in my throat. Digging my feet into the floor, I try to hold my ground, pulling and thrashing to stop my descent towards the chair. Dehydration, lack of food, and a day full of torture has made me weak, and even with my wolf, I would struggle with these odds. If only I could access my shadow powers…

Em weakly struggles against the man who's pulling him away, his frail body looking tiny and weak next to the guard. All of a sudden, he drops from the arms of the guard and stumbles into the trolley full of gleaming knives. Shouts rise in the room as guards rush towards him, but they aren't fast enough as Em uses a hidden strength and hurls a large blade at stranger in the corner. Eyes wide, the stranger stares down at the blade sticking from his chest before falling to the ground, and as soon as he does, my wolf returns, the block over me released.

"Ari, run!" Em's pained voice kicks me into gear, my shadow powers already turning my body to mist. Guards try to grab me, but their hands sink through my body as I turn to see if Em is following me.

"No!" I cry, as I see Em's body crumpled on the floor, the Butcher crouched over his form as he stabs a gleaming knife into his chest. Em doesn't seem surprised, in fact, his expression is peaceful as he watches my shadowed form.

"Go," he mouths, and fighting back tears, I allow my body to fully turn to shadow as I run through the building. The walls and barriers are no longer a problem for me, the magical barrier dropping the moment the stranger died.

With my heart breaking and covered in blood and grime, I leave behind the closest thing I had to a father figure and run back to my pack, my family, and the guys waiting for me there.