Chapter 15

T he next couple of weeks pass by in a blur, and we all fall into a routine. After that day with the alpha, we'd been in touch with Aiden from the ASP splinter group, passing information between us as we discovered it. Thanks to their information, which in some cases were just whispers, we'd been able to warn a couple of packs that they might be targeted, and they were then able to take extra precautions.

It's been suspiciously quiet recently. Whether that's because we've managed to thwart some attacks or because of other unknown reasons, it's difficult to tell. The other option is that they knew we had people on the inside and were holding off on their attacks to lull us into a false sense of security. Whichever it turns out to be, I'm walking around in a constant state of tension, waiting for my decision to bite me on the ass.

"Ari, is everything okay?" Jessica queries, her little voice tight as she looks up at me. Mentally slapping myself, I smile at Seb's little sister and carry on dressing the wound on her head.

"Sorry, sweetie, I was miles away. Yep, make sure you keep this clean and dry, and come see me again in two days, I'll need to remove the stitches," I instruct, using my nurse's voice, as Seb likes to call it. The small, neat line of stitches would usually be in longer if Jessica was human, but her shifter genes come with faster healing. "Remind me how you did this again."

A guilty look crosses her face as she glances up at Seb. "I was playing with Tom out by the edge of the pack boundary on the big boulders, and I slipped."

"You know not to go out that far, it's dangerous. Plus, I told you not to play with Tom, he's a bad influence, play with boys your own age," Seb chides with a frown, but I see him softening as soon as Jessica turns her puppy dog eyes on him. Smiling, I tidy up the medical room, disposing of the needle and bloodied gauzes and cleaning down the surfaces as they continue to talk about playing with boys who are much older than her. Seeing this side of Seb always makes me re-evaluate him. He's always so playful around me and the others that it's easy to forget he's the head of his family now, he has responsibilities just like the rest of us.

The life of a nurse in the pack is much slower than that of a hospital nurse, but moments like this make it worth it, and I'm pleased I can still help people, even if it's not as often or in the way I would like. Now that Eric lives here, the pack has a full-time doctor, and he's been looking into hiring another full-time nurse to assist him. I'll have to move out of the apartment above the medical rooms eventually, and I know that the alpha will give me, us, one of the empty couples houses on the edge of the property to move into, but I struggle with the idea. I've always had to work hard for what I've got, and to simply be given the property doesn't sit well with me. I know it's one of the benefits of being part of a pack, but something about it bugs me, not to mention it will never be a home for all of us, not truly.

While Eric was been welcomed into the pack, he'll always be an outsider. He says he doesn't mind, that he has wandered the Earth for many lifetimes and says anywhere with me is his home, but it matters to me. Garett, as a bear, can't join Moon River for obvious reasons, and as such, will still always owe allegiance to Long Claw, and while he can stay with us, it will never be his home. During lazy morning conversations curled up together in bed, he's offered to leave Long Claw, to belong to no pack, but I won't let him do it, it's not fair to him.

Speaking of being curled up in bed together…there hasn't been much of that recently either, thanks to the constant presence of my best friend. I love Tori, and I would never say as much to her while she still needs me, but she's a bit of a buzzkill.

After the first week, she moved into the spare bedroom to give me and the guys a bit more space, but she keeps waking up in the middle of the night screaming. Since that first night, when I'd walked into the spare room and found her curled into a trembling ball, I've been spending most nights checking up on her, unable to sleep myself. She won't tell me what she dreams of, but I can imagine. I know a thing or two about bad dreams. A couple of times, Max or the twins have tried to storm into her room, feeling her panic through the bond from across the pack compound, and things are starting to get a bit difficult.

As if able to sense that I'm thinking about her, she appears in the doorway of the medical room, her curls bouncing slightly as she walks, the clipping sound of her hooves on the floor announcing her presence.

"Everything okay in here?" Leaning against the doorframe, she smiles at Jessica, who's sitting in the examination chair, her little legs swinging as she waits for me to finish clearing up.

"Tori!" Jumping down from the chair, she rushes over to the demon, proudly showing her the stitches in her head. I'd been worried that the horns and hooves would scare the little girl, but she merely shrugged and took Tori by the hand to the table where she proceeded to show her the drawings she'd been working on that day. Since then, they'd been fast friends.

"Hey, monkey!" Kneeling down, Tori has a look at the wound and nods sagely. "Got your head stitched up so your brains can't fall out? "

Jessica looks at her with wide eyes, her expression in a half-smile as if she can't quite decide if Tori's joking or not.

"She's joking," Seb comments, his voice calming and far different from the playful Seb that I know, but I can see a little sparkle in his eye. "Are you coming to the BBQ?" He looks up at Tori, directing his question at her.

We had all been invited to a BBQ Lena was throwing over at the alpha's house. It wasn't an official pack meet, but the whole pack was invited and would likely turn up, especially if they knew Tori and the bears were going to be there. Turns out that werewolves are huge gossips. I've left the decision up to Tori. If she doesn't want to go, then she doesn't have to and I'll stay with her, even if the pack elders would frown upon it, plus Alpha Mortlock would understand.

Glancing over at my best friend, I see her face twisted with indecision, and then her eyes flick to me. I hope my expression conveys my feelings, that I don't mind either way if we go or stay, but something seems to make up her mind as she turns to Seb with a small smile and a curt nod.

"I guess I should show my face, especially when the alpha and his wife have been so kind." Her voice sounds sure, but I know her better. She's nervous, and I don't blame her.

The three of them continue with small talk as I finish wiping down the surfaces and locking up the medicine cabinet.Glancing around once more to make sure everything's in place, I grab my keys and usher them out of the room, locking it behind me.

"Meet you there?" I ask Seb, smiling as he nods and leads Jessica out of the building. Linking arms with Tori, I lead us towards the stairs that go to our rooms, eager to get out of my work clothes. "Let's get changed."

Up in my rooms, I frown at Tori's back as she rifles through my sparse wardrobe, throwing items of clothing onto the floor in disgust. I've never been big on fashion. For years, I lived lightly, so if I needed to run, I wouldn't need to leave anything behind. It was only when Tori and I had been settled for a few years in our apartment that I let her convince me to buy some more clothes, but even then, my collection was far smaller than hers. Some habits are hard to break. Besides, when you work in a hospital with scrubs as a uniform, you learn to love comfortable clothing. Many of the things Tori wears, while looking amazing, also look horribly uncomfortable and tight, so naturally, she dislikes my clothing.

Pushing up from the bed where I've been sitting and watching Tori, I gently push her out of the way to survey the wardrobe. I shift through a couple of the clothes hangers then reach in with a smile, pulling out a purple maxi dress. The length will hide her legs and the colour will suit Tori, the elastic in the dress will also make it easier to fit around her ample bust better than most of my clothes. Handing it over to her, I roll my eyes at her expression.

"Just try it on!" I demand, turning my back to look in the wardrobe again, picking out my favourite pair of jeans and light blue button-down shirt.

"Hey! If I'm having to wear a dress, so are you!" Tori argues as I spin to look at her. I was right—the dress suits her. The elastic waist hugs her curves and the fabric cascades down to the floor, completely covering her lower legs and hooves, which I know she's self-conscious about.

My mouth pulls into a smile at her comment. I can count the number of times I've worn a dress on one hand. "Tor, I'm not wearing a dress."

"Well, you're not wearing that." Her voice is disgusted as she points to the clothes I clutch in my hand. "We're going to a BBQ, not work. Fuck me, your clothes are boring." My mouth drops open in mock outrage at her comments, but I'm used to Tori's dislike of my clothing, so I don't take it personally. Plus, I'm enjoying being with her, just like old times. It feels like the events of the last few weeks were all just a bad dream. Well, if you can ignore the horns poking through my best friend's hair.

"They're not boring, they're practical!" I retort, defending my clothing choices, but a smile curls my lips as she strides back to the wardrobe, her head buried from sight as she hunts for the perfect outfit for me.

"Aha!" Her muffled cry reaches me before she pulls back, but she has to stop when she gets caught up in a strappy top, the tip of her horns going through the strap. The more she moves, the more tangled she gets. "Fuck's sake. Ari, will you wipe that smile off your face and help a girl out?"

With great effort, I rid my face of all emotion as I go to her side and slowly try to untangle the clothes and hangers from her horns, avoiding her gaze since I know I won't be able to hold back my laughter if she looks at me.

Finally free, Tori shakes her head, and her brown curls fall into perfect ringlets around her face. She blows out a breath and throws a dirty look at the wardrobe before handing me the hanger I hadn't realised she'd been holding earlier.

"Put this on." Her demanding tone has me raising an eyebrow, before lifting the dress to have a better look.

"I didn't even realise I had this," I admit, wondering when I'd have bought something like this. It's nice, really nice, but it's not something I would've bought for myself.

"I bought this for you two years ago! You said you loved it!" Tori says indignantly, causing me to wince. Oops.

"I did love it! I mean, I do love it!" At her disapproving glare, I throw my hands up. "Come on, Tor, it's a dress, when do I have the opportunity to wear a dress?"

"Right now," she counters with a grin, and I realise I've walked right into her trap. Sighing, I walk into the en suite, pulling the door closed behind me as I hang up the dress. Removing my clothing and standing in just my underwear, I reach up for the dress, running my hands over the soft fabric as I reach for the zipper at the back. I slip the fabric over my head and thread my arms through the sleeves, then pull the dress into place. Looking in the mirror, I have to admit that Tori's pick perfectly fits my body. The sweetheart neckline shows off my generous bust without revealing all to the world, and the cap sleeves help cover the myriad of scars that cross my body. Tor knows how much I hate showing them off, which is part of the reason I hate wearing dresses, but she's done a good job with this. The waist cinches in, showing off my figure before falling to my knees. Letting out a breath, I shake my head at my reflection. It's very pretty, but my reflection looks nothing like me.

"I can hear you sighing, come out so I can see you!" I hear my demanding best friend call out, and I smother a smile as I push open the bathroom door and walk towards her. Tori grins when she sees me and twirls her finger, gesturing for me to spin. I roll my eyes but spin anyway, secretly enjoying the way the skirt flares out with my movement.

"Happy?" I demand, half hoping she says no so I can take it off, but those hopes die quickly when I see her expression.

"I have such great taste in clothes," she says, congratulating herself as she walks over to me and pulls one of the sleeves into place before playing with my hair.

"Tor, I'm not doing anything with my hair, so don't even start."

My warning makes her purse her lips before she reaches out to touch my hair again. "Not even some little curls—"

"No." I point a finger at her, narrowing my eyes in warning. "I'll brush it, and that's it. I'm going to look out of place in this thing anyway without you playing hairdresser." Gesturing to the dress, I shake my head as I catch my reflection in the mirror. I mean, I look good and the guys aren't going to know what's hit them, but I'm much more comfortable in my normal clothes, the ones that cover me up.

"Stop fidgeting. I can barely see your scars," Tor admonishes, but her voice is soft.

"I'm not worried about them." Liar , I think to myself, and Tori just nods before walking up to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders .

"Uh-huh," she responds, sounding completely unconvinced.

Standing together like this, her just behind me with her arm around me, resting her head on my shoulder, makes me think of old times, before the guys turned up in my life and before Shadow Pack tracked me down, better times. But no, it wasn't better. Packless. I was so lonely, and I didn't even know it, afraid of my own shadow, literally, and that my past was going to catch up with me. Now, I've met the guys, and I wouldn't want life any other way.

Obviously thinking along similar lines, Tori squeezes me slightly, tightening our hug before kissing me on the cheek and walking back towards the wardrobe.

"Now, what are we going to do about shoes?"

Groaning dramatically, I throw myself down onto the bed face first. We could be here for a while yet.

We're late to the BBQ. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to matter as people are coming and going from the alpha's house. The guys had gone on ahead, so it's just the two of us as we walk the short distance across the forest, following the sound of voices as we reach the house.

I feel people's eyes on me, but I know Tori feels the same when she reaches out for my hand, squeezing it tightly, her long nails biting into my palm.

"I told you the dress was a bad idea," I mutter behind a smile, but her attention is focused on something else completely. Glancing across the garden, I see that her gaze is locked on her mates, all three of her bears, standing awkwardly to the side with a beer in each of their hands. Their gazes locked on Tori as soon as we rounded the corner, their posture straightening, and their conversation with Garett forgotten as soon as they spotted her. Confused, Garett turns to see what's taken their focus, and his eyes instantly find mine. His smile makes his face glow, although as his gaze drops to see what I'm wearing, his eyes heat. Taking a step forward, I start towards him, only to be yanked to a stop by the demon at my side.

"Christ, Tor, you nearly ripped my arm off." I rub my shoulder and roll my eyes at her. "You're much stronger now, remember?" My admonishment is met with a flippant wave of her hand, her gaze still on the bears.

"Yeah, sorry. Why were you going over there?" She glances at me as she asks this, but I can tell she isn't really looking at me, simply using me as a barrier so she can still sneak peeks at the guys behind me.

"I was going to see Garett." I shrug before narrowing my eyes on her, realising exactly what she's doing. "Tor, they're your mates, you can't ignore them forever."

Silence meets my words as she drops her eyes to the ground, fiddling with the skirt of her dress. Frowning, I place my hand on her arm. I've never seen Tori like this before, and I realise this is more than her just being stubborn. "What if I don't want to be their mate?" Her voice is low, and it's the note of uncertainty that hits me.

"Then you don't have to do anything. We can leave right now if you want." I make my voice firm. No one will make her do anything she doesn't want to, not even if that's to see her fate chosen mates. Fate can go fuck itself.

Taking a deep breath, she shakes her head. "No, it's fine. Their brother is one of your mates, I can't avoid them forever." She mirrors my words from earlier. Straightening, she throws back her shoulders and brushes an invisible piece of lint from her dress. "How do my horns look?" she asks quietly, and I don't bother hiding my smile.

"Fierce," I assure her, and she finally smiles, linking her arm with mine.

"Then I'm ready."

As we start to walk over to the bears, I look around to see who else is here. I smile when I see Seb entertaining the children in the corner, undoubtedly playing some silly game. Alex is with the alpha, who's talking with Eric, who's looking causal and relaxed. I can't see Killian, but I can feel him through our bond. I really need to do some more work on building this bond. I still don't really know how to use it, but I've been assured that I will learn with time.

A flash of amusement trickling down the bond has me throwing a look over my shoulder. I see Killian at the grill, cooking some of the meat while talking with one of the other nomad wolves, Michael. I'm surprised to see him here, to be honest. Killian once told me about him and how he came to be here. He wouldn't tell me much, but what I heard made my heart go out to him. Like Killian, Michael was one of the outcast wolves, living on the edges of the pack and not taking part in any pack gatherings. He isn't officially part of the pack, so he doesn't have to, but the alpha allows him to live here because of the person he is, and although the pack is friendly, the outcast wolves tend to stay very separate. I don't think I've ever seen Michael in public before. The one and only time I met him was when he was leaving Killian's hut as I was walking over to meet my mate.

Looking at him now, I can see he looks uncomfortable as he shifts from foot to foot, but he laughs at something Killian says, and I feel a flash of love for my mate. Before we met, he never would have come to something like this, let alone encourage the other nomad wolves to join in, and although he's still my grumpy Killian, something has opened up in him, allowing him to be more compassionate to others. Not that he would ever admit it.

Reassured that all of my guys are here and safe, I look back at my bear. My smile widens as we reach him, and his arm stretches out and pulls me to his side. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I press a kiss to his lips, lingering for a moment until someone coughs, reminding us that we're in public. Grinning, I pull away, not at all ashamed. Garett has been helping out at Long Claw much more recently, taking on a lot of the roles that the twins and Max usually do. They've been taking it in turns to stay here with Tori, but when they are away, they're distracted, so Garett has stepped in to fill those gaps, but that means he's been away a lot and I've missed my bear.

Reluctantly pulling away from Garett's hold, I look over at Tori to see she's making awkward conversation with her bears. The twins are trying to engage her in a silly story, and I can see the corner of her mouth turning up as she fights a smile. Max stands next to them, silently staring at her until her patience finally snaps and she spins to point a finger at him.

"Will you stop staring at me? What is your problem?" Her shout silences the garden around us as people turn to stare at us. Max's eyes narrow before he looks briefly at me before storming away.

"Well, that went well," Ben comments, breaking the awkward silence. At least, I think it's Ben, I still haven't gotten to know the twins well enough to where I can tell them apart yet.

Garett is frowning as he watches his older brother stalk off. "I should go check if he's okay." Sighing, I nod at him. I don't want him to go, but I know he won't be happy until he's checked up on Max.

I can see the strain he's under, knowing these last few weeks are taking their toll, and I'm pretty sure I can see a couple of grey hairs, not that I'll tell him this. If I'm being honest, I find it attractive. Running my hands through his hair, I simply nod and ask, "Will I see you later?"

Wrapping me in his arms again, he presses his forehead to mind. "Yes, I'll come back, but I can't stay tonight." Regret lines his words, and I can't wait for a time that we can all stay together in the same house.

"Okay, I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too." Sealing his words with a long kiss, he pulls away before grinning at Tori and his brothers. "See you in a bit, guys."

Turning to watch him go, I become aware of someone watching me. I follow the feeling and find Tori staring at me with a knowing grin. "I still find it weird when you do that," she comments, taking a sip of the drink one of the twins handed her.

Frowning, I scratch my head, brushing my hair into place. "Do what?"

"Tell Garett that you love him," she replies, taking another sip. "He's been in love with you for years, and you never seemed to notice, didn't want any sort of romantic relationship at all, and now you have five men devoting themselves to you!"

"Yeah, well, I didn't think my kind of life allowed for love. They would just end up being something for Shadow Pack to use against me." Tori sobers at my words, walking over to me and sliding her arm around my waist.

"Well, I'm glad things worked out this way." Her smile is warm, and I know she means it. She'd always been worried about me and how I kept people at a distance, so the fact that I now have five men in my life who all dote on me must make her giddy with happiness. I start to smile, to agree with her, but then I remember why I kept my distance in the first place.

"Shadow Pack is still out there though," I reply, my gut clenching as I think of Terrance and the rest of my old pack hunting me down, but determined to take others out with me at the same time.

"I know." Her voice is sombre as I feel my old fears coming back to me, winding themselves around me in a tight band. Taking a deep breath, I focus on all the good things in the life I've built for myself here and reach for the bond I have with my men. I feel Killian's gaze on me, and when I glance over his eyes bore into mine, and I can feel his question down the bond.

Are you okay?

I can't hear the words, it's more of a feeling, but I nod, taking comfort in the strength I feel in the bond. Eric is also looking at me with a sympathetic expression on his face as he sends me a feeling of safety through our bond. Although I don't have a metaphysical bond with my other mates, they seem to sense something isn't right as they all watch me. Giving them a smile, I reassure them that I'm okay, and I can feel Tori staring at me with interest, then she shakes her head with a knowing smile as I turn to look at her again.

"It makes me nervous that we've heard nothing from them." Voicing my worries, I tell her what's been playing on my mind. Over and over, I've envisioned them attacking us here, but so far, only other supernaturals have been attacked.

"Maybe they're licking their wounds, you did kill their leader," Tori comments, clearly fed up with this conversation, frustration evident in her tone. "Don't worry, we'll find them. I still have to pay the bastards back for killing me." She smirks as she reaches up and taps the swirling, tattoo-like mark that shows the place where the bullet hit her in the forehead. The familiar feeling of guilt I carry around like a lead weight at Tori's death rises, but as I look at her now I find that it's changing. I no longer feel guilty that I couldn't save her. I know that I did everything I could, but fate stepped in, bringing her back to me. However, I do feel guilty that I brought her into this and she got hurt in the process. She may be stronger than she had ever thought possible, but her whole life has changed and she's not who she thought she was.

Reaching out, I pull her into my arms for a tight hug, her body stiffening at the sudden body contact. "I love you, Tor." My throat gets tight as the thought of how close I was to losing her grips me. "Horns and all," I joke, trying to blink away the moisture gathering in my eyes.

Snorting at my comment, she relaxes into my arms, returning my hug before finally pulling away. "Love you too, dog breath." She grins, but she can't hide the catch in her throat as she speaks or the tears I see gathering in her eyes.