Chapter 15

I 'm led into the shower of my en suite silently. I haven't said a word since what happened in the alley. Tori must have been talking to someone on the phone because before I knew it, I was surrounded by my guys. Apparently, they'd already been on their way, Killian had sensed we were in danger through the bond. There had been lots of shouting and panicking, and I was being touched all over by so many hands. I'd lost it a bit then, I didn't want anyone touching me. I was a monster and covered in the blood and body parts of the person I just killed. They've never seen me lose it like that before and were unsure what to do, just looking at each other with stunned expressions.

Eventually, I allowed Tori to lead me the to the car where she climbed in with me, her arms wrapped around me as she whispered nonsense in my ear. I don't remember the journey back, only that Tori held me. When we arrived at the pack, she remained with me, and now she's helping me into the shower. I'm still fully clothed when she turns the hot water on in the shower. She gets caught in the flow, but she doesn't look like she cares. Smiling at me sadly, she shuts the glass door and starts walking out of the room.

"Please don't go. I don't want to be alone," I whisper, barely loud enough to be heard over the spray of the shower, but I know she hears me as she turns back to look at me. She nods at me and steps out of the room, causing my heart to sink even more. Even she left me.

I lean my head against the cold tiles of the shower, taking deep breaths as I try not to think about what happened, about what coats my skin. I scrub at my arms, watching the water turn red. My scrubbing becomes more vigorous as I scratch at my arms, desperate to feel clean. I hear his screams in my head as I tear his body apart. I feel my stomach lurch as it tries to empty itself again, but nothing comes out, my retching loud in the empty bathroom.

The door opens, but I don't turn to look, I scrub at my hair. I can feel bits of him on me, evidence of my evil on my body for all to see. I hear the person removing clothing and feel a blast of cool air as the shower door is opened. I continue to scrub and pull at my hair, the tangles and knots making it painful.

"Ari. Stop. You'll hurt yourself." Seb's voice rushes over me. I close my eyes and press my forehead against the cool tiles again. Of all of the guys they could send in after me, they send Seb? My innocent, gentle Seb?

"You shouldn't be in here. I could hurt you." My voice is broken as I open my eyes and focus on the blood tinged water swirling around our feet.

"You would never hurt me, Ari," he says with such confidence that I look up, glancing over my shoulder to meet his blazing eyes. "Besides, I'm not as weak as I used to be." So it's not just me who noticed that then, these waves of power that keep emitting from him. "Face the wall," he commands, and it breaks through my painful fog of despair enough for me to raise an eyebrow at him. He lifts the bottle of shampoo that has appeared in his hands. "Face the wall," he repeats with a gentle push on my shoulder, some of that unnatural power filling the shower.

I do as he says and close my eyes when his hands touch my scalp. He gently works though the knots in my hair, not mentioning the blood or bits of gore that are stuck to it. I'm not sure how long we're like this for, but his gentle ministrations relax me enough that I'm feeling more like myself again. He guides my head so it's under the spray of the shower, and I sigh as his fingers run through my hair, making sure it's clean.

"We need to get you out of those wet clothes." His quiet voice has me opening my eyes, looking down at my body. He's right, the clothes are sticking to my skin from being under the water for so long.

With Seb's help, I strip from my ruined clothing, wincing at the feeling and trying to ignore the blood that drips from it as I peel it away. I hear a bottle open, and soon we are surrounded by the smell of jasmine from my favourite shower gel. I feel Seb's hands on my skin and relax into him as he works on my muscles, washing the carnage from me. His hands pause as his fingers brush the underside of my breasts, his slight growl filling the small space. I find that I want his hands all over me, to make me feel love, to help me stop feeling like a monster. Placing my hands over his, I guide them up so they are on my breasts.

"Ari…" His voice is strained, like he's trying to hold himself back.

I turn around so I'm facing him, realising for the first time that he's naked, and raise an eyebrow. His eyes are locked on my body, and I know he wants me. Without saying anything, I pull him to me, pressing our bodies together. Our kiss starts off gentle, like the Seb I know, nipping at my lips as his hands skim my body, exploring, but soon, the kisses become harder and more demanding. I meet him kiss for kiss, my hand dropping between us to his cock, pleased to find it hard and eager. His breath comes out in a hiss, and he pulls away and presses his forehead to mine, closing his eyes as if he's in pain. I use his distraction to stroke up and down his length, a growl leaving his chest and making me clench my thighs together in anticipation.

"Alex," he calls out, sounding torn as he continues to growl quietly. His power pulses through the room, it's odd, not natural, but it's heady and calling to me. Part of me wonders why he called Alex, but the rest of me doesn't care.

Alex pushes the door open and stops in his tracks when he sees us, his eyes widening as he feels a wave of power rolling from Seb. I start kissing along Seb's neck, causing him to spasm slightly, and he grabs onto my shoulders hard enough to bruise. I keep my eyes on Alex the whole time, his arousal obvious from seeing the two of us together like this. He starts peeling off his clothes and opens the door to the shower. I should be surprised, but I'm not. For some reason, Seb needs Alex here. I'd thought it was the whole, ‘you have to sleep with the alphas first' thing, but I suspect it has something to do with all this extra power that's rolling off him. He looks like he's struggling to stay in control. Alex seems to see this too, since he takes a step closer, putting his hand on Seb's shoulder.

"Take a step back," he orders, some of his alpha power slipping in there. Seb's eyes narrow and a slight growl leaves his lips again, but he does as he's told, stepping back until he's pressed against the shower tiles. Alex turns to me, a gentle smile on his face as he brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear, leaning forward and pressing a kiss against my lips. Seb's snarl fills the shower, and Alex spins around with a furious look on his face.

"Do not snarl at your alpha!" he commands, and for a moment, I think he is talking about himself, until I realise he's pointing at me.

Seb bows his head under the force of the command, slowly sinking to his knees. I would have thought he was upset from his position, but I can see the gleam in his eyes and the way his cock sits proud. This is exciting him. Kinky little shit.

"Sorry, Alpha," he addresses me, glancing up before dropping his gaze back down. I go to walk to him, to pull him up, but a hand on my chest makes me stop. I look at Alex questioningly.

"Seb, show your alpha how sorry you are," Alex commands again, his voice harsh, but he's dropped his power enough that Seb doesn't have to carry out the order if he doesn't want to .

Seb, however, obliges, crawling forward on all fours until he reaches me, his hands sliding up my legs as he trails kisses along the way. Alex comes to stand behind me, pulling me against him and kicking my legs apart so Seb has better access. I gasp at Seb's first kiss against my core, his tongue running along my slit, then coming to rest against my clit, flicking it with a swipe of his tongue. If it weren't for Alex holding me up, I would have collapsed into a puddle on the ground. I moan as Seb slides a finger into my core and turn my head to lock eyes with Alex. A rumble of pleasure comes from Alex as he captures my lips in a searing kiss, keeping my body still as Seb worships me. Pulling away from our kiss, Alex looks down to see Seb watching us with undisguised desire in his eyes. He nods at Seb, who stands up and runs a predatory gaze over my body. I reach for him, wanting to run my hand over his cock again, but I don't get a chance before he's pressed against me, his cock nudging against my entrance. I feel him hesitate and pull back to look at me, a question in his eyes.

"If you don't fuck me, I will bite you," I tell him, half joking. As his eyes widen and heat up at my words, I wonder if I threatened the wrong thing. Seb would probably enjoy me biting him.

Thankfully, I don't have to say anything else as he thrusts up into me.

I wrap my arms around his shoulder as he pounds into me, our breath mingling as we kiss. I feel Alex harden behind me, his erection pressing against my back and his strong arms holding me in place. We fall into a rhythm, the hot water running down our bodies, my mouth tracking some of the drops of water along Seb's shoulder and collarbone, nibbling trails along it, savouring his moans as I bite him gently.

"Look at him, he's completely at your mercy. We both are," Alex whispers in my ear, his voice husky and soft, at odds to his hard body holding me firmly in place. He bites down on my earlobe at the same moment Seb slides his hand between us, pressing down on my clit in time to his thrusts. This sends me over the edge, pleasure making me cry out as I bite down on Seb's shoulder. I feel the moment he lets himself go, shuddering against me as he comes. When the pleasure started to wane, Alex releases me and starts running his finger along my skin, making patterns in the water clinging to my skin, kissing along my shoulder. His erection is pressed against me, and knowing that he had been there the whole time, holding me up while Seb fucked me, is a major turn-on. I wiggle against him, smiling at the growl that rumbles through his chest. Before I know it, both Seb and I have been spun, so Seb is pressed against the shower wall and Alex is pushed against my back.

"You want to play that game, huh?" He bites my earlobe again, and I arch against him. I shouldn't be this ready for him, but need is swirling within me.

"Fuck me," I demand, and I feel him moving his cock to my entrance, gasping as he fills me with one thrust. Seb makes a noise in front of me, and I meet his eyes, worried he will feel uncomfortable pinned against the wall while Alex fucks me, but his eyes are heavy lidded with satisfaction, and he's aroused by what's happening. Alex continues to pound into me from behind, his hand wrapping in my hair, pulling my head back as Seb starts to kiss along my skin, and his hand goes to my nipple that's now exposed since I arched my back into Alex. I feel my orgasm start to build again, and I look at Seb, love shining in his eyes as he smiles at me, pressing a kiss to my lips. Alex grumbles and pulls gently on my hair so my head twists to meet his kiss. This is enough to undo me, and I tumble into my second orgasm, gasping into Alex's mouth. He follows me over the edge, gasping with his own orgasm before resting his forehead against my shoulder. We stay there, pressed together under the hot water from the shower, for a while, our heavy breaths intermingling. We eventually pull apart and make use of the shower to clean ourselves off.

Later, we curl up on my bed, with Alex curled behind me and Seb in front of me, his head resting against my shoulder as he plays with a strand of my hair. Something has been bothering me for a while, and now that we're snuggled together, I can't fight the need to get it off my chest.

"You should hate me. I'm a monster," I mutter quietly, my face buried into Seb's chest as they curl around me. They're quiet for a moment, and I know they are thinking about what I did today, what I'm capable of, but their hands continuing to stroke patterns on my arms. Seb is frowning the whole time, and he pulls my gaze to meet his.

"We all carry darkness within us, and we don't judge you for what happened. We love you Ari, darkness and all."

Alex makes a noise of agreement before turning me around in his arms so I'm facing him, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

"Don't let them win. If you believe you're a monster, then Shadow Pack has achieved their goal," Alex says gently, but there's fire in his eyes. I frown as I digest what he said before meeting his gaze again and nodding. He's right, and I won't let Shadow Pack win.

For the rest of the night, they show me how much they love me, worshipping my body into the early hours of the morning.