Chapter 15

I 'm leaning against a tree with my arms crossed, pretending that the sight of Alex shirtless in front of me isn't affecting me at all. My wolf, on the other hand, has no qualms about letting him know she likes what she sees, pushing against me for control.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" I ask, trying, and failing, to keep my eyes on his face and off his toned body.

"Because you need to learn to shift properly so you can control your wolf better. She's constantly pushing for control because you suppress her. She is you, yet you seem so disconnected," he explains. "Besides, we'll be having a pack run soon, and you'll be expected to take part. I thought you could use the practice." I'm about to argue at his statement, but he just raises his eyebrows. "Watching you shift at the social was painful. Do you really want to go through that process again?" he points out.

Fine. He isn't wrong. Besides, the thought of having to shift in front of the whole pack, again, makes my blood run cold. Maybe I do need the practice. Wait, what does he mean watching me shift was painful? I didn't see him there at the challenge, and everyone turned their backs. Sneaky bastard.

Sighing, I move away from the tree and start removing my clothes, turning slightly so I'm not facing Alex full on. Out the corner of my eye, I can see Alex doing the same.

"So why isn't Seb or someone doing this with me?" I query. I still don't feel fully comfortable around Alex yet, although he is growing on me. Like mould , I think dryly.

"Your wolf is so suppressed, I wasn't sure if Seb could handle you if you turned on him. I didn't think you would want to risk that," he tells me, and I agree with him.

I'd never forgive myself if I hurt Seb. Not that I ever would, but Alex is right. I can't always control my wolf, especially once I've shifted. I hadn't thought about the possibility that I could hurt Seb. In my old pack, I was only ever surrounded by powerful wolves, as they never risked putting me with the weaker wolves in case I escaped.

I push down my jeans and underwear, bending slightly to take my feet out of the legs. I can feel Alex's hot gaze on me, and it does things to me that I would rather not acknowledge. I straighten up and look him in the eye, so I see the moment he senses my arousal when his eyes flash, his wolf making his feelings clear.

"Are we doing this or what?" I ask, trying to ignore the predatory look on his face.

I see him struggling to take his eyes off me as he nods.

"Okay—" He stops to clear his throat, which makes me smirk. "Okay, shift, show me how you do it," he orders.

I roll my eyes at the order and kneel on the ground. I close my eyes and go to the place where my wolf resides inside me. I coax her forward, and she rushes to take control. The shift hits me hard, making me fall to all fours. I grunt at the effort of it, my body screaming out as the shift takes over. I'm aware of Alex moving to my side, kneeling next to me.

"You're fighting her, like she's a separate part of you. Welcome her. You are one," he tells me softly, encouraging the change.

I try to focus on his words, and after what feels like a lifetime, the pain ends and I open my eyes again.

I raise my muzzle and look around me, jumping back in shock that a human man is crouched next to me. I leap into a defensive position, baring my fangs in warning. He puts his hands out to the side. I don't think he means me harm.

"Easy, Ari. I'm not going to hurt you. You know me," the human tells me.

Ari's the human who shares my body, and I can tell something is different. She's given me more control this time. Usually, she's controlling my actions and my thoughts. It's exhausting. I sniff the air and realise the human is right, I do recognise his scent. Alex. I sit on my hindquarters and watch him, my head tilted to one side.

"All right, all right." He laughs at me before getting onto his hand and knees.

I watch as he changes to a large black wolf with white dotted up his front legs and the tips of his ears. He makes it look effortless. I hope human Ari is paying attention. That is what we could have if she stopped fighting me. Wolf-Alex turns his large head to look at me, and a playful gleam enters his gaze. Giving me a wolfy grin, he shifts his weight, and I know he's going to pounce on me. I shift into a defensive position before darting to the side of him just as he leaps towards me. I race off deeper into the woods, aware of him on my tail.

This goes on for a couple of hours, chasing each other and playing. This is nice. Other than shifting with bear-Garett, we don't play in this form, and never with another wolf before. Our pack was cruel, especially in this form. I stop for a drink at a small stream, drinking my fill after running around. Wolf-Alex is doing the same next to me. All of a sudden, he jumps me from the side, play biting at my ears. I growl, but softly, so he knows I'm playing. He has me pinned to the ground, and I can see when something changes in his eyes. Human-Ari and I are so shocked by what we see that human-Ari gains the upper hand and shifts.

The shift back to human is quick, and I find myself still pinned under Alex's wolf. He winks at me in a very un-wolflike manner before shifting back to his human form. I groan as his full weight falls on me, and I am about to complain until I see his look of arousal, which has me stilling. So I can see what he is doing, he moves towards me slowly, lowering his lips until they are an inch from mine. I blame the adrenaline from the shift for what happens next.

I surge forward from my position on the ground and crush my lips to his. With a masculine groan he returns my kiss, rough and urgent, like he's wanted to do this for a long time. My hands go up to his head, twisting into his shoulder-length hair. His hands roam along my body, and I can feel his arousal pressed against my leg. I hear a howl in the distance, and I'm startled away from him. What am I doing?

I push him away, our breathing heavy as we try to untangle our limbs. I climb up from the ground, looking anywhere but at the evidence of his arousal, and start searching for where we left our clothes.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Alex asks from the ground, propped up on one arm. His tone sounds resigned, like he already knows my answer.

"Nothing to talk about," I tell him, forcing my voice to sound cheery.

I thank the gods when I find my clothes, hurrying into them, and I throw Alex's towards him.

"Put some pants on. You're distracting," I say, trying to make my tone teasing.

I hear him sigh before the telltale sound of someone getting changed reaches my ears. I make sure I'm facing the opposite direction, uncertain if I can stop myself from touching him if I see him naked again .

"Bye then. Thanks!" I call out before I hurry off towards the medical building, frustration and shame chasing at my heels.

I don't sleep well that night. My thoughts are running riot through my head, along with worry for Lottie. I stopped by the room she was staying in to check on her and found her and her mother fast asleep. Nurse Beth informed me her temperature has dropped further, and she's responding well to treatment.

I kissed Garett and Alex today, not to mention Killian showing signs of having a true pair bond with me. And there was Seb… Now, this is why packs were messy. I don't want a relationship with anyone . Besides, Alex was probably just feeling high off our run and the kiss didn't mean anything. Killian certainly doesn't want anything to do with me. He couldn't get away from me fast enough once he'd snapped out of his protective daze.

I look in the mirror in the borrowed bedroom that I'm staying in and sigh at the grey circles under my eyes, proof of my restless night. I brush an invisible piece of lint off my white shirt and black jeans, pulling my hair up into a loose bun. I'm planning on spending the morning in the medical room, so I need to be dressed sensibly. It's strange not wearing scrubs.

Walking downstairs, I head to the treatment room where Lottie's staying and am greeted by an animated little girl talking a hundred words per minute. Lottie's mother comes over to me with a beaming smile on her face.

"She is so much better, thank you!" she says, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

I smile, pleased to see Lottie has responded so well to treatment. I take her vitals and am happy to see they are all normal. I turn back to Mary.

"She can probably go back to your cabin today, but she will still need antibiotics. One more via IV, which I'll give now, and the rest can be taken orally." I turn to look at Lottie and put my stern face on. "But you can only go if you promise to rest up for a few days, deal?" I ask, knowing what her reaction would be.

She frowns as she thinks over her options before she nods and gives me a smile.

"Okay, I promise!" she replies happily.

I go to prepare the last dose of IV antibiotics and get a handover from Nurse Beth. She's going back to her pack tonight, so I want to know any details that might be important once she's gone.

Two hours later, I'm cleaning the treatment room now that Lottie's gone home. I was given a list of home visits that will need to be done at some point either today or tomorrow. Mostly older wolves or younger children, just to check in on them. I have one pregnant wolf to visit as well. I'm just getting a bag of equipment ready to go out on my visits when I hear the door open again.

"One second!" I call out, as I finish wiping down the desk.

I look up and am surprised to see Garett standing in the doorway with an odd look on his face.

"Garett!" I say, ridiculously happy to see him.

I walk straight up to him and take him by surprise by wrapping my arms around him. He lets out a shocked grunt and wraps his arms around me in return.

"How come you're here?" I ask, pulling back from his chest to look up at his face.

"Tori told me that you were staying here last night, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I bumped into Sebastian, though, and he told me about Killian." Frowning, he scans my face. "Were you going to tell me about him?" Garett inquires, his voice getting louder as his frustration rises, his hands at his sides as he tries to stay calm.

I sigh and gesture for him to follow me, walking out of the treatment room and upstairs to the room I've been staying in. I let him walk in before I do and shut the door behind me.

"So that's it then? You bonded with him? Your ‘true mate.'" He practically spits the last words at me, his body shaking with rage. What's happened to my kind, sweet Garett?

He strides forward and wraps his arms around me. I'm confused by his change of attitude until I hear him inhale and I realise he isn't hugging me.

"Did you just sniff me?" I shout, pushing him away from me. "Do you even know me, Garett? Of course I haven't bonded with him." I feel sick with my anger as I glare at my friend. "In fact, I nearly knocked him out when he tried that macho alpha bullshit on me!"

I'm fuming as I pace up and down the room, trying to cool my temper. I can't believe Garett thinks I would just accept a mating bond with someone at the snap of their fingers. Or that he would sniff me to see if my scent has changed through bonding or sex. Was my word not good enough? He's never treated me this way before, it's one of the reasons I love spending time with him. He's safe and doesn't impose shifter bullshit on me, at least, he didn't until today.

"Why does this even matter to you?" I shout, my anger at him for not trusting me making my words harsh.

"Because I love you!" he roars.

I stare at him, frozen in place at his admission. My mouth drops open, but I have no idea how to respond.

"Wh—I… Huh?" I stammer, eyes wide.

I can see the moment he realises he's made a mistake and rapidly tries to calm himself down. He knows I have a tendency to run after dramatic declarations or when I can't deal with my emotions.

"Ari, wait," he says, hurrying towards me, even though I haven't moved.

I don't think anyone has ever loved me before. The love that Tori and I have for each other is different, and even that took me a while to understand. But a love like what Garett is proposing is something I never thought I'd get to experience. Never thought I'd want to experience.

He backs me up against the wall and places his hand gently on my cheek.

"Ever since I saw you, when you first came into my bar, I knew. You were so tiny, and you had this hollow look in your eyes like you couldn't trust anyone. Then when you were around Tori, you smiled, and I knew I was doomed." His thumb strokes my cheek, his eyes scanning my face for a reaction. "I tried to tell myself you needed a friend, and as you grew into the person you are now, I could see the fire in you, the passion to do good and not to let your past hold you back." I find myself watching his lips as he speaks.

No one has ever said things like this to me, and I know he is telling the truth. Garett has always been there for me. A protector, a friend, and now, if I let him, a lover. He loves me. The fractured, broken me. I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone in that way.

I can feel him watching me, and I flick my eyes up to his. He looks hungry.

"Fuck it," he says under his breath, and leans forward to press his lips to mine.

It's like a dam breaks, and I push forward, deepening the kiss as I wrap my arms around him. His lips match my greedy kisses, pressing me back into the wall, reminding me of our kiss yesterday. His mouth leaves mine and kisses a trail along my jaw and down my neck. His hands slide up my shirt and roam up to my breasts, his fingers gently tweaking my nipples. I moan and press myself against him, gasping as I feel his cock straining against his trousers. I slide my hand inside the front of his tight jeans and grab onto his cock, his breath coming out half gasp, half groan. I run my hand up and down and enjoy the contrast between the velvety softness of his skin on the solid hardness of his arousal, especially when he calls out my name like a prayer. I thread my other hand through his hair and pull his head back from where he is still kissing my neck. His neck arches, and I can see he's getting off on the pain from me pulling his hair—kinky. With an evil smile, I pull his lips to mine, enjoying the feeling of his cock twitching in my other hand.

"Bed. Now," I order, my wolf adding our power to the command in agreement.

I feel a brief shock of surprise at her approval. Garett is a bear shifter, after all, and while it still happens, interbreeding is frowned upon. I push these thoughts away as Garett lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to the bed. With me in this position, my intimate parts are pressed up against his cock, and I wiggle my hips as he walks, savouring the masculine groan that passes his lips. He drops me down, and I pull myself up the bed.

Pulling his shirt over his head, Garett drops it to the floor and pins me in place with his eyes. Climbing onto the bed, he crawls towards me, a slight predatory growl emitting from deep in his chest. I admire his thick muscles and the way they bunch as he moves. I run my hands over him as he reaches me, only for him to pin me down. I wrap my legs around his waist and twist us so I'm on top. His eyes burn with desire as I straddle him, moving my hips as I feel him straining against his trousers.

"Too many clothes," he comments, his voice deep with passion.

I give him a wink and crawl off him, standing to remove my jeans and underwear. I turn away from him as I do this so he gets a view of my ass as I bend over. Spinning back towards him, I see that he's now naked, his clothes in a forgotten pile on the floor. His cock stands proudly, his hand wrapped around it as he strokes it leisurely with an adoring look on his face. I stalk towards him, slowly unbuttoning my shirt as I go. I reach up behind my shirt and remove my strapless bra, leaving the top in place, unbuttoned. Looking like a man starved, he reaches towards me, pulling me on top of him. Laughing, I push up onto my hands so I can look down at him. His pupils have dilated, and I can see his bear is close to the surface. He leans forward and kisses down my collarbone until he gets to my breasts, taking one of my nipples in his mouth while his other hand comes up to tweak the other. I throw my head back, a satisfied sigh leaving my lips. Desire shoots straight down to my core. Straddling him again, I feel his cock press against my inner thigh. His free hand strokes down my side and over my hip. When he finally reaches where I want him, I let out a moan, his thumb flicking over my clit in lazy circles. I run my hands over his strong shoulders and back, my nails dragging across his skin as his fingers slip inside me. I cry out as they fill me, my nails digging deeper into his skin as they start to pick up a rhythm. His breath catches as I move one of my hands to his cock, slowly pumping it with my hand as I rub my thumb over the top of him, enjoying the way his breath hisses out from behind clenched teeth.

"Ari," he warns me.

Rising up onto my knees, I guide him to my entrance, crying out as I sink down onto his cock, savouring the slight burn that comes from being filled completely. I hear him curse under his breath as one hand comes to my hip, the other cupping my cheek as he watches me. I start to rock my hips, my hands gripping his shoulders as I move. Moving his hand from my cheek to my clit, he starts circling it again, and I lose myself in the rhythm of our movements, all of which are controlled by me.

I tend not to sleep with more powerful shifters, as they are dominating, whereas I can take more control with weaker shifters. With Garett, I don't feel like I have to fight to be in control. He's just interested in making sure I receive pleasure—which means I get to set the pace.

I look at his face again and the look of pure desire has me crying out as my orgasm hits me. I feel myself clenching around him as he finds his own release. The feel of him coming inside me is almost enough to make me orgasm again. He pulls me towards him and kisses me, gently this time, as he runs his hands over my arms and back .

I climb off him, groaning slightly as he slides out of my body. Sex is messy. They always leave that bit out in the romance books. I go to leave, but Garett pulls me back onto the bed. I laugh as he climbs over me, kissing me in a way that makes me want to pin him to the bed and demand he fuck me again. But with a sigh, I roll out from underneath him. I have work to do. I stand up and throw a wink at Garett before scooping up my discarded underwear and heading to the bathroom, the ache between my thighs the telltale sign of good sex. I pull the door closed behind me to clean myself off.

Once I'm done, I pull my underwear back on and do up my bra, deciding to leave the shirt unbuttoned. I open up the bathroom door when I hear a loud slam. I spin to the source of the noise and see Killian in the doorway, a look of pure rage on his face as he takes in the scene before him. Looking like he's going to shed his skin and turn into his wolf, he takes a menacing step towards Garett, who's jumped off the bed and dropped into a fighting stance.

In a voice more wolf than human, Killian snarls, "What the fuck have you done to my mate?"

Anger instantly fills me, killing my buzz. Oh, for fuck's sake.