Chapter 10

F or the second morning in a row, I wake up with Seb's naked body pressed up against me, but probably not in the way he hoped when I insisted he share my bed. Alpha Mortlock wanted to use his puppy pile method again, but I refused, and in my pain-addled state, I hadn't let anyone close to Seb. He'd protested, saying he was fine, but until I was able to check him over and see for myself, I wouldn't let anyone near me to look at my wounds.

I spent the night with him wrapped around me, unable to sleep, twitching at every sound in the unfamiliar room. I don't know why I'm acting this way with Seb, but something about him sets off my protective instincts. At some point, I must have fallen asleep, as I wake up with his arms around me. I stay still so I don't wake him. It's nice being held purely because someone wants to hold me. There is nothing in it for him other than for comfort.

He moves in his sleep, and I feel his erection pressed up against me. This wakes me up fully. It also wakes up my lady parts, making me squirm. Now is not the time, traitorous body. I can feel Seb wake up, as he nuzzles his face into my neck. I can also feel when he senses my arousal, damn that shifter sense of smell. Taking a deep breath, which comes out as a predatory growl, he runs his hands over my hips. I arch back into his body, unable to stop myself from reacting to his touch. We're in dangerous territory here. It would be so easy to cross that line. All I need to do is roll over and kiss him.

I stop moving. All my past romantic dalliances have been just that—dalliances. They're great, but they all come to an end very quickly. Am I willing to lose this new friendship because I'm horny and can't keep it in my pants? Considering my reaction last night when Seb was hurt, I'm going to say no. We may not have known each other long, but my protective instincts are on overdrive with him, and I'm not sure I can cope if anything happens to him.

Seb, having felt me freeze, also stops, waiting for my lead, but I can hear his heavy breathing behind me. I scrunch up my eyes. I can't believe I'm turning away a gorgeous guy who obviously wants to spend the morning getting to know me in the biblical sense.

"Seb," I say with a sigh, regret clear in my voice.

He instantly rolls away from me, and I look over my shoulder to see him getting out of bed and pulling on his jeans. Panic surges through me, and I bolt upright in bed, the covers falling around my waist and exposing my chest.

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask.

He turns and smiles at what he sees. "I'm going to take a cold shower. It's rude to have a hard-on around your naked friends," he replies with a wink.

Relief fills me, and I lie back in the bed with a laugh.

Now that I'm alone, I think over the events of the night before. I roll my shoulder. It's sore and stiff, but when I look at it, I just see the slightly raised pink skin of new scars. I look at my legs, expecting to see mangled skin, but I'm greeted with the same sight as my shoulder. New scars to add to the collection. It's a good thing I'm not vain. I've never been bothered by my scars. They show a battle I've lived through, and they are the marks of a survivor. I wouldn't say I'm proud of them, and I don't go out of my way to show them off, but I'm certainly not ashamed of them.

I muse over the fact that I'm healing so quickly. Sure, we have fast healing times, but injuries caused by other shifters take longer to heal, and considering the damage that was done, especially as it was a previously wounded area, I should be in far worse shape than I am. Seb's injuries practically healed before my eyes during the night as I watched him sleep. Perhaps it is due to our friendship. Does the healing thing work better with people you are close to? I'll have to ask Alex next time the growly beta decides to show his face.

Urgh. The thought of having to leave this room and face everyone after last night is not something I want to deal with. Marcus is going to be a problem. The challenge is a fight to the death for a reason. Wolves can't stand a challenge to their honour, and Marcus is too much of a dick to let it stand that a woman defeated him. I've literally been on pack grounds for twenty-four hours, and I'm already causing problems. I'm not blaming the pack. Other than a few exceptions, they've been nothing but welcoming, which is a massive blow to the feels. I hadn't expected the kindness shown by complete strangers to an outcast like me.

And now I have to go out there and help them, heal them. I feel their expectations on my shoulders like a heavy weight. It was okay when they were just nameless, faceless patients that I was dealing with, but now I know them, and even in this short time, I've begun to care for them. I can see that if I stay here for much longer, they will begin to care for me too. My breathing speeds up. Nothing good happens when people care for me. Tori is safe in the apartment, and she has friends who would care for her. Garett can look after himself, and I've purposely kept my distance up until now to keep him safe. Seb blindsided me with his instant friendship, but he is safe within the pack.

Now I have a whole group of people who are seeping their way into my cold, shrivelled little heart.

Jumping to my feet, I feel my battered body protest at the speed of my movements, but I ignore it, pushing down the rising panic in my chest. Hurrying to the side of the room where I discarded them last night, I start hastily pulling on my clothes. I need to get out of here, I need space .

Glassy dead eyes stare back at me as I remove my jaws from around his neck.

I shake my head to clear it from the memories trying to flood my brain, but it creeps in again.

I step away from the freshly dead body, look behind me, and jump from the corpse that lies next to me. Rather than a nameless body, I see the corpse of little Jessica. No—this isn't real. I didn't know Jessica then. I step back and startle as my foot touches a hand. Spinning around, I howl in grief as I look at the body of the boy I just murdered. It's not the nameless boy I played with, the boy who gave me comfort—it's Seb. His face is twisted, as if in terrible pain.

"It's your fault I'm dead."

I spin, my heart rate spiking in panic as I try to find who spoke. My eyes widen as I take in the room full of bodies — Alex, Tori, Seb, Gloria, and members of the pack whose names I don't even remember, all dead.

"Ari."

I snap out of my twisted flashback as I step back into a solid wall. Except walls aren't warm, and they don't wrap their arms around you. I stiffen, ready to break free of my captor's arms, until I take a deep breath. The scent of the woods and the sweet smell of brandy reach me—Alex.

"Ari, breathe," he orders.

I do as commanded, trying to slow my breathing now that I know what happened in my ‘memory' wasn't real. We stand there for a long while, his strong arms holding me up, and I try to ground myself. The words ‘they're alive' keep running through my head, my mantra to keep myself in the here and now.

"You want to tell me what's going on? I came to see you, and I could sense your panic through the door. I thought something happened," he admits, and the tension in his voice makes me frown.

I turn my head a bit, and I see the door is now hanging off its hinges. He literally ripped the door off to get to me. Too much. This is too much .

I pull from his arms, gathering up my meagre belongings that have been strewn around the room.

"Ari, what's going on? Where are you going? If it's Marcus, he's been banished. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

I shake my head. Marcus is the least of my worries right now.

"I just need some space. I'll be back. I just need time, okay?" I blurt out, not looking him in the eye.

I hear him sigh, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him nod.

"Tell Seb I'll see him around," I say before I start walking out of the room.

This place is like a bloody maze. I walk around the back of another building, looking for my car so I can get the hell out of here. Several people have tried to stop me to talk about last night, but I have just smiled tensely at them and walked on.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I hear shouted angrily at me.

I spin around and see a fuming Killian striding towards me. My temper boils, although my wolf perks up at the sight of him. Down, girl.

"And how is that any of your fucking business?" I demand, close to losing my temper. I am not in the mood for Mr. Dark and Moody to grow a conscience.

He snarls at me, and I can see his wolf is as close to the surface as mine, our alpha powers rubbing up against one another.

"It matters to me when you lose control and kill all of the wolves here. You're a fucking mess. It's a surprise you've survived this long as it is. You need to get yourself under control before you cause any more problems," he goads.

But he's right. I am going to get these wolves killed. I see a brief flash of panic in his eyes as he realises he isn't going to get the reaction he wanted. I turn away, my heart heavy, and restart the mission of trying to find my car.

"You're going to get yourself killed," he states. His voice is tinged with sadness as he says this.

I spin around, my temper flaring again. Why does he care if I get myself killed or not? He's made it clear that he thinks I'm a danger to everyone around me. He clearly hates Shadowborn, so shouldn't my death please him?

"Why do you care what happens to me?" I demand, fire back in my voice.

A look of confusion greets my question, like he doesn't have an answer. This disappears as his face hardens.

"Take your break. Once you've gotten over your pity party, come back and I'll teach you how a real wolf fights."

I snort at his comment, flipping him off as I turn away, and stalk towards where I'm sure my bloody car is. What a dick. But as I finally find my car and haul myself into it, I realise my heart isn't quite as heavy as it had been when I first left the house.