Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Thalia

“This looks delicious,” Heph says as I set a platter on the table. On it are three roasted quails along with carrots and potatoes. I also made a garden salad with a fresh herb dressing and a loaf of nut bread with butter.

Amell reaches for the bread while I take a seat. “Again, I’ll extend the invitation to come live with me in the Underworld. I wish I ate this good there.”

Heph’s hand freezes as he reaches for a quail. “What do you eat there?”

Amell shrugs. “Mostly the souls of the dead, but they’re filling enough, I guess.”

Mouth hanging open, Heph stares at Amell in horror. He then brings his gaze to me. “You are in no way moving to the Underworld to cook for your father, but you must at least summon him to dinner each evening.”

Amell and I laugh because of course he’s teasing Heph. I mean, I don’t know what they eat down there, but I’ll add that to the million questions I’m working my way through in the evenings to learn more about my father’s life.

Realizing that Amell was teasing, Heph laughs too, and I sigh with contentment. This is my family now, and while it’s about as imperfect and odd as a family could be, I’m grateful to have it. I’m also grateful that Heph and Amell get along so well. It’s made the last couple weeks more than bearable.

Especially since the one person I truly want to be a part of my family doesn’t want the same. Since our last time together, almost a week ago, I haven’t seen Bastien. I bent distance back to my bedroom where I took a hot shower and cried out my grief after deciding to cut him loose rather than leave it to him to struggle with.

When I came out of my room, Amell was there and looked at me knowingly, my eyes red and puffy. He made no mention of my pain, though I’m sure he knew the source.

Since then, I’ve immersed myself more fully into battle preparations. With Heph’s and Amell’s direction, I’ve added more strength to all the charms we’re creating to protect the troops from Ferelith’s blood magic. I monitor the creation of potions, charms, and amulets, testing the products as they’re made.

In the afternoons, I work with Amell on using my shadow magic offensively. This is usually hours of frustration for us both. Amell encourages me to take a risk and unleash my darker inner being, and I’m too scared to do so. We curse at each other, and he grumbles that I’m no daughter of his, and I snap back that he’s a deadbeat dad, and then we try again.

It’s truly weird how fast our relationship has progressed in the last few weeks, but I’m living in weird times. I’m also without a family, plus I lost the love of my life. Of course, I’m going to latch on to anyone who shows the faintest care, and Amell has shown—despite the fights we get into over my failure to fully use my new gifts—that he cares for me.

As we fill our plates, Amell entertains Heph and me with what we’ve come to call at dinnertime, “Tales from the Underworld.” Most of the time, it’s funny stories or interesting anecdotes. Sometimes, it’s terrifying.

Amell was second in command under Kymaris, who was the original fallen angel to rule the Underworld. She created a powerful spell that allowed her to escape her realm and later managed, for a brief time, to open the veil that separated her domain from the First Dimension. Luckily, she was defeated and the rips repaired before major damage could be done, but that left the Underworld in need of a new ruler.

I haven’t quite figured out the details as Amell is very tight-lipped about his relationship with Zora, the new god of Life, but she installed him as the king. I get the feeling they were close prior to her ascension to god status, but that there’s also some bad blood. I want to know more, but seeing as how we’re only two weeks into our newfound relationship, I’m not going to venture there yet.

When dinner is over, Heph and I clean up. While Amell is incredibly helpful in teaching me dark magics, he’s a prima donna in that he refuses to do housework.

“I’m king of the Underworld,” he’s said on more than one occasion when Heph suggested he help clear the table. “I have minions to do that for me.”

I’d snort and Heph would roll his eyes, but that’s our new dysfunctional family.

“Ready to head down to the pub?” Heph asks Amell. That has become their ritual each night, heading off together for a few beers.

I’m invited, of course, but I actually cherish the alone time. It lets me refill my well, and tonight I plan on a nice, long bubble bath.

“I’ll meet you down there,” Amell says as he slouches back in his chair. “I’d like to spend some time with Thalia.”

Both Heph and I freeze, shoot each other a glance, and then look inquiringly at Amell.

He nods as if he understands our silent request for explanation. “I’m going back to the Underworld tonight. I want a bit of time with Thalia, and then I’ll be down for a pint with you, Heph, before I leave.”

I hold my tongue, even though I want to argue against this. I’ve gotten used to having Amell here. He’s one of the most powerful creatures in the world—no matter the dimension—and knowing he’s at my back has given me courage.

But I wait until Heph leaves because I want this to remain private between us. I also have a feeling I’m going to get vulnerable, and while I’m okay showing that to Amell, I don’t want Heph to see it. He worries enough about me as it is.

I bring bottles of honey wine and whiskey to the table with cups. I pour a whiskey for Amell and a cup of honey wine for myself. Plopping down in my chair, I ignore my drink and ask him point-blank, “You haven’t taught me what I need to know, so why are you leaving?”

“I’ve taught you all you need to know,” he corrects me before lifting the glass for a sip. “You just need to utilize the knowledge I’ve given you.”

I knew he’d say that, and I also can’t argue. My fear is holding me back. “I assumed you’d be at my side during the battle.”

“You assumed wrong,” Amell says, not unkindly, but with a slightly harsh edge. “In fact, I think I might be holding you back. If you know you can’t rely on me, then maybe you’ll be forced to use your new skills.”

“That’s ridiculous—”

Amell holds up his hand. “Regardless, I am prohibited from interfering. If it were simply a matter of having me on your side, I would have killed Ferelith two weeks ago when you summoned me, and then we would’ve had a pleasant few weeks together getting acquainted.”

I frown. “Prohibited?”

“By Onyx.” Amell takes another sip and places the cup on the table. “The god of War.”

“And peace,” I mutter, disappointed by this news. “If she liked peace as much as war, she’d let you end it.”

“I cannot wield direct influence in the outcome,” he continues to explain.

“But you gave me shadow magic,” I point out.

Amell waves that off. “I also sent demons to Ferelith when she summoned them. Neither has a direct bearing on the outcome. But deep down, you knew I couldn’t get involved, or else you would have asked me to kill Ferelith when you summoned me.”

He’s right, of course. But I don’t have to like it.

“Onyx makes the calls on what type of assistance might be needed in wars, and that’s usually only in the form of sending in demigods.”

“Maddox,” I exclaim, remembering the demigod who first appeared to Bastien. “He took my protection ring, which forced Bastien to fetch me from the First Dimension.”

Amell’s eyes flash with something that borders on hate, and I frown at him. “Do you know this Maddox?”

“I’m leaving in but a few hours,” Amell says, refusing to answer my question. “I wanted you to have time to ask me about those topics you’ve been too afraid to broach yet.”

My face flushes hot as I immediately understand. “My mother,” I whisper.

“You’ve not shown a single curiosity about how you were conceived,” he points out.

“I understand the mechanics of how it happened,” I grumble.

Amell glares at me. “You know what I mean. You’ve never asked for an explanation. I suspect you don’t want to hear potential ugly truths about Selena, so I’d like to assure you that your mother did nothing wrong.”

“Coming from the king of the Underworld, I’m not sure you’re the best gauge of morality.”

Amell grins wickedly, sitting straighter. “Are you afraid your mother had a clandestine affair with me? That perhaps I was able to do things—”

“Say another word,” I growl, half rising from my seat, “and you’ll regret it.”

Slumping back in his chair, Amell gives me an exasperated glare. “I thought that might get you to pull on your dark powers. I was willing to take a face full of sinister magic so you could see what it’s like.”

My jaw drops. “You purposely baited me? So I’d throw shadow magic at you?”

Amell shrugs. “Clearly didn’t work. So, you have no questions of me about your mother?”

I shake my head. I can’t ask them because he’s right… I’m afraid it will taint my memories of her.

“In that case,” Amell says as he stands from the chair, “I’m going to make my goodbyes, have a beer with Heph, and return to my obsidian castle in the darkest of realms. It’s far too sunny here for my taste.”

The smile that graces my lips is sad. I’ve become fond of Amell.

“I have a gift for you,” he says, and with a flourishing wave of his hands, a spell book appears on the kitchen table.

And not just any spell book. This one is full of shadow magic—I can feel the pull of it, almost begging me to open it up and take a look. It’s covered in worn leather with ancient runes stitched into the hide. The corners are protected by faded brass cornices, and it has a large buckle with a keyless lock.

I’ve never studied runes or ancient languages, but when I look at the ones on the cover, I understand what they say. Not word for word, but I know the contents of this book hold seriously complex magic that I’ll be able to wield.

Reaching toward the book tentatively, I ask, “Is this yours?”

“It actually belonged to Kymaris,” he says, and I jerk my hand back in shock. “It contains all the shadow spells she created over the millennia she ruled our realm. Make no mistake, there are spells within that are insidiously evil—my favorites, by the way. But there are helpful spells, annotations, histories as well. If you want to get to know your magic, read the book. You can always decide whether to use it later.”

It’s not lost on me what a monumental gift this is. The book is an immense source of power, but more than that… it’s history.

Priceless history, and in the right hands—mine, perhaps—could change the tide of this war, if I use it properly.

In the wrong hands, it could cause total annihilation. Hesitantly, I reach out again and press my fingers to the leather as Amell watches.

“What do you feel?” he asks.

“Foreboding,” I whisper, not without a small amount of fear. “Darkness. Ill intent.” I pause briefly, open my connection a bit more, and I hate to admit, “Kinship.”

Amell nods in understanding.

“What’s the cost if I use this book?” I ask. “Will I get lost? Will I turn dark?”

“Not if you fight it,” he replies. “If you’re strong, you make it do only your bidding.”

I withdraw my hand, noting a residual tingle in my fingertips. I feel the book calling out to me to touch it again.

To open it.

To use it.

I move a few feet away, more afraid of it than the lessons Amell tried to teach me on how to cast my inherent shadow magic.

Amell steps closer and rests his hands on my shoulders. “Be well, daughter. You will allow me to check in on you from time to time, yes?”

I nod, feeling tears prickle. How in the hell have I managed to actually grow fond of this creature in such a short time?

My father pulls me in and hugs me. I don’t hesitate but wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tight.

When he pushes back, he smiles down at me and steps backward, intent to bend distance to the pub.

I can’t help but blurt out, “Why did my mom have sex with you?”

Amell jerks in surprise. I stare back at him resolutely, and he sighs.

Next thing I know, I’m being led back to the table, and he pulls out the chair for me. We both sit, and I clasp my hands in my lap, terrified to have this conversation, but I know I must.

“Do you want the sugarcoated, glossy version, or the cold, hard truth?” he asks, and I flinch that there could be two versions.

“I want it straight,” I reply, a slight lift to my chin to show my bravery, but I’m afraid of what he might say.

“Your mom dabbled in blood magics with Heph. I’m assuming he’s never told you that, since you’ve never mentioned it, but it’s true.”

Mind racing, I try to understand the implications. She could have been in serious trouble had she been found out. Had Heph silently taken the banishment and all the heat to shift suspicion away from her? I’ll have to ask him.

“Unlike Heph, your mother never hurt anyone. Like you, she used her own blood to amp her spells.”

I nod, appreciating the distinction. “Then how did she get involved with you?”

“She summoned me,” he replies. “She used her blood and a very old piece of magic. She called to me naked on a full pink moon out in the forest over a strong ley line.”

Oddly, I don’t cringe at the image. It’s almost beautiful in my mind, but it doesn’t jibe with what Heph told me. “My uncle said he was with her when she summoned you.”

Amell nods. “The last time, when I decided to accept her summons. But before that, she had called many times as she was desperate for help. She wasn’t asking for me specifically, nor was she calling to the Underworld. She simply wanted a baby for your father, so that he would be happy. She suspected he couldn’t have children. She knew it would destroy him if he knew it was his fault. So she decided to do whatever it took to get pregnant with you.”

“Did your magic make my mom conceive?” I ask.

His gaze never wavers. “Yes. And I made sure that you were given abilities to harness my type of magic if you wanted it.”

“Did… did… you and her… did you both…” The words lodge in my throat.

“Did we have sex? Did she, in essence, cheat on your father?”

I nod mutely.

“Your mother was a stunning woman. She was naked in a forest begging for help on more than one occasion. She spilled her own blood as a sacrifice to me. There was no way I wasn’t going to have sex with her.”

I force myself to brush past that tidbit. “It’s one thing to have sex, but it’s another to give someone a child. It’s monumental, some would say. What was the price?”

“Did I mention the part where I said your mother was naked and—”

Holding up my hand, I shake my head. “No sex details. But I know damn well you just don’t go around impregnating women.”

“How do you know that?”

The question throws me off guard. “Do you?”

Amell grins and shakes his head. “No. You’re my only child.”

“So, why did you say yes?” I push. Because if it was just sex, it would have been just sex and no baby. Just as he might have had the power to force conception, he had the power to deter it. “Surely, she paid some price for the gift you gave her.”

Amell leans forward in his chair, a forearm on the table to get closer to me. “Your mother requested a favor, but I realized I could get something from it too.”

“And what was that?” I ask, knowing deep in my heart if he tells me it was just to get his rocks off, I’ll blast him with shadow magic.

“A legacy,” he replies. “I wanted something of my own to carry on a part of me. Something I could have pride in. My existence in the Underworld was complicated, but I wanted something good to come out of me. And so, my price to Selena was that I wanted the ability to check in on you. You’d never know it, of course. But over the years, I visited and met with your mother. I’d observe you from afar, and your mother would fill me in on how you were doing. I got to observe you having an incredibly fulfilling life, and I got to see how well King Jaron carried out my fatherly duties. He loved you beyond all measure and was your true father. And no matter what you might think, your mother never betrayed him. She may have given me her body, but I could see into her soul during our joining, and it was your father she was thinking about the entire time. So don’t ever think badly of her.”

“I wouldn’t,” I assure him, my voice raspy with emotion. Amell wanted to be my father too? From the very beginning, yet he couldn’t. He had to stay in the shadows, which is irony at its greatest.

Amell stands again and pulls me into another hug. “That’s the whole story. Your mother wanted something very badly, and she wanted it to make your father happy. I gave it to her, and I got something out of it too. It’s a piece of your family history that I hope you can at least understand, if not accept.”

“I can,” I say with a watery laugh, dashing at tears. “I will.”

My Dark Fae father kisses me on the top of the head. “Call me if you need me.”

I nod, hugging him again.

“And you don’t have to spill your blood to get me to come,” he says as an afterthought. I blink at him in surprise, and he grins. “That’s just good dramatics. You only need to reach out with your thoughts, and I’ll hear you.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t give up on Bastien,” he says. I jolt in shock at the proclamation.

“You hate Bastien,” I say with a cocked eyebrow.

“Yes, I do,” he replies proudly. “I’d kill him, if I didn’t think it would drive you away from me, because he’s hurting you. But… I also know he’s your soul mate, and I will grudgingly admit that he’s not overly stupid. I think there’s a possibility he’ll come to his senses.”

“But you told him to leave me alone,” I exclaim. “He’s thinking about leaving Vyronas after all this is done.”

“Do you honestly think that man will do one thing I suggest?” Amell asks dryly.

“Probably not,” I admit.

Amell takes my hands and squeezes. “I hope you get what your heart desires. You deserve it. And if you don’t, know there is nothing the gods could ever say to prevent me from killing him, if you want me to.”

I laugh. “I think I can handle Bastien just fine.”

“I think you can too,” he replies, thousands of years of wisdom coating his words. “You are my daughter and a shadow princess. There’s not much you can’t do.” He steps backward. “Until we meet again.”

Amell disappears, presumably to the pub but thereafter, back to the Underworld, and I miss him already.