Chapter 8

E ngulfed in darkness, I jerked awake and reached for the dinner knife that rested beside me and swung at that unseen beast. Arcturas stirred from her sleep and sniffed the air. Sensing my terror, she threw her tiny body towards me. Her little claws scraped against my thighs as she jumped to my lap and began licking my cheeks, the scratch of her tongue wiping away salty tears that fell.

Short, shallow breaths escaped my lungs as I struggled to regain control of my body. The black, starless sky was caving down on top of me and I thrashed and wailed beneath its weight. A piercing nip at my fingers brought me back to reality. Arcturas whimpered through fangs latched onto my skin. The pain of her bite pulled me up from beneath the depths of a stifling panic and I heaved full, gasping breaths.

She licked the now blotched red skin of my palm and nuzzled into the fold of my elbow. A dream. It had just been a dream. There was no monster waiting in the horizon's darkness. The snapping bones beneath my feet transformed into twigs. Stars rekindled in the stretch of unforgiving black overhead. I wiped the tears from my eyes and gazed into the cooling embers of our fire.

Smoothing back the stray hairs falling around my face, I apologized to my little companion. Arcturas nudged me until I stroked down the length of her spine. Wiry black fur was poking through her adolescent coat. Curling into the warmth of my lap, she settled back into sleep. Clasping my still shaking hands together, I looked up at the night sky. The countless stars speckled across the stretch of blackness glinted with a fluidity that seemed to ebb and flow with the soft caress of a silent wind. I wondered if this same sky beamed down on the immortal realm. Or did they have another galaxy of stars to wonder up at in the late hours of the night?

There was a time, thousands of years ago, when mortals and gods walked the Earth hand in hand. Stories of love and mortal consorts solidified the peace between the two races and all existed harmoniously. The bond we had with our gods, however, disintegrated when the goddess Tethys discovered her husband's plan to run away with a mortal chambermaid.

In a fit of rage and deeply rooted jealousy, Tethys slaughtered her entire mortal court, including her faithless husband, splaying their bodies from the outer fortress walls. It is said that the affair caused her undoing, and she spiraled into a mania that has since imprisoned her mind. When the immortal leaders of the other realms caught wind of Tethys's murderous spree, they broke our partnership.

Leaving a council of four, nearly immortal, elders to act as their emissaries, the Gods retreated to their separate realm. Despised by the other immortals, Tethys stole away into her fortress, plotting the downfall of the mortal realm with vigorous revenge. Without the protection of our namesake gods, the monster attacks increased. More and more mortals disappeared outside of city walls. Before my sentencing, it was not uncommon for men, women, and even children to vanish.

Shuddering at the thought of Tethys's army of beasts and the monsters that lurked in the shadows of our realm, I forced my mind to silence and shut my eyes.

Hours crept by and finally, the quiet dawn appeared. Splashing a handful of spring water across my face, I extinguished the remaining coals and buried them. Arcturas, with newfound energy, zoomed through the clearing, chasing snow mice back into their burrows.

We traveled for miles through the forest, stopping to sip from the stream or pluck a handful of berries. Grey wisps of clouds gathered overhead, marking the approach of another snowfall. The pines thinned and eventually cleared away altogether. In their place, a weathered stone wall towered over us.

The wall, constructed of huge bricks molded together with a thick layer of mortar, extended into the sky hundreds of feet. Crippled turrets scattered across its length with tattered, faded flags carrying the signet of the northern goddess- a single pointed star. We'd finally reached Ursae. Arcturas let out a growl of excitement and took off down the pathway lining the edge of the wall, her tail bouncing with each kick of her hind legs.

"Wait!" The hem of my cloak trailed behind me as I sprinted after her. She leapt down the trail faster and faster until blurring into the horizon. The bricks continued on as I followed the prints of her tiny pads. The city wall finally gave way to a cavernous, dark tunnel. Arcturas sat before the entrance, her pink tongue hanging loosely out the side of her open mouth and tail swiftly brushing fallen flurries from side to side.

"You couldn't have walked with me?" I panted, wiping my clammy brow. Sweat pooled in the creases of my armpits as I fought the urge to collapse.

Arcturas simply glanced at me, then took off down the tunnel. Grumbling with aching calves, I started into the darkness after her. The tunnel stretched through the width of the city's outer walls, at least a mile in thickness. City folk spread fables of the giants who'd carved the wall from a mountain top thousands of years ago. In reality, the first people of the north devoted generations upon generations to its construction. Only a small, glowing speck of light marked the entrance on the horizon. Water droplets gathered on either wall and slowly trailed to the paved stone floor. Fortified metal gates at each quarter mile of the tunnel were raised, allowing free passage into the city. Never in my life had those gates closed. Never in my life had they needed to be. It would take a sea of monsters or men to penetrate the tunnel into the city. And even then, they'd have to face our people. City folks- men, women, and children alike, we're all trained as warriors from their first steps to their last. The Northern Realm was infamous for our fighting ability. Rugged and harsh from the cold, the other realms kept cautious allies.

A chill whipped through the darkness as Arcturas and I traveled deeper and deeper. A rat, giving a startled squeak, scurried across the tip of my boot as I took a step. Jumping back, I watched it scamper into the shadows behind us. We continued on. With each step, the daylight of the city's entrance grew brighter.

Approaching the tunnel's exit, I shielded my eyes from the searing contrast of the white, late afternoon sky. We stepped out of the darkness. Flipping my hood over my eyes, we wandered down a rickety cobblestone street towards the heart of the city. Ursae had once been a glorious, northern fortress with marvelous stone carved towers jutting over lively city squares. Guards stood watch along gilded turrets, embellished with massive amethyst flags floating permanently beneath the inexhaustible winter wind. Scents of various roast meats and vegetables filled the air at the merchant's market, with spices from every corner of the realms for sale. The air was electric with the buzz of a flourishing kingdom.

The Temple of Polaris was the beating heart of the realm, its walls carved out of the mountainside that lived at the city's very core. A statue of our patron goddess stood hundreds of feet tall. Her long, trailing robes delicately wrapped around her curved frame. Outstretched in graceful arms was a broadsword- its hilt carved with an intricate crystalline pattern. Atop her head rested an iron crown, its apex as sharp as a dagger, with a single, four-pointed star carved delicately at its center. The star was the symbol of the North, representing the celestial body that guides us to it- the vertex of the night sky in which all other stars rotate around. The marble goddess stood guard over thousands of jagged steps snaking up the mountainside to the summit temple. A large pyre with a constant flame overlooked the city at the temple's highest point. The flame blazed as long as the bond between our realm and our namesake goddess remained intact.

Although the flame still burned brightly, a beacon in the wintry haze, the city had begun to crumble and die. The gilded turrets- now tarnished. The markets- now feeble and cold. And the temple- now sinking back into the earth. It had been five years since I'd walked these cobblestone streets, and all that was recognizable had vanished entirely.

Arcturas and I started towards the center of the city, passing crumbling stone homes with deteriorating wooden rooftops. I wasn't entirely sure where we were going, but we needed to find shelter from the approaching storm, and soon. Judging by the darkness of the clouds lurking in the distance, we wouldn't just see a light snowfall. Temperatures would reach dangerous lows, and we'd be subjected to harsh blizzard conditions.

The cold had already set in; I could feel it down to my bones. Exhaustion from my trek across the Flatlands and the cruel reminder from my stomach made me desperate. The logical side of my brain told me to stay away from city folk or local inns; however, the animal side told me I needed to take the risk. I would die out there. Then, this grand escape would've been for nothing. I'd practically be doing the city guards' job for them.

Warm light of a hearth radiated from weathered glass windows of a tavern across the street. Further investigation proved the bar to be fairly empty and quiet. With its old, rickety wooden door and dusty window panes, the city guards steered clear of this type of place. I guess this'd have to do.

Securing my hood below my eyes, I pulled on the heavy front door, and we stepped inside. Gods, please keep me from being recognized. Shaking the snow from her pelt, Arcturas scampered to the hearth and curled by the warmth.

"Hey! No animals allowed in my establishment." With her bloodshot protruding eyes, the barkeep glared at me and pointed a long skeletal finger towards the wolf pup.

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling my arms from the cloak and draping it over my arm, "we just need to warm up, then we'll be on our way."

The tavern was empty, aside from a fat, red-faced man who teetered on his barstool. Sipping from his pint, he glanced at me and belched loudly. Ale dripped from his mouth as he grinned. I grimaced and he returned to his pint. At least I didn't have to worry about him recognizing me.

The barkeep was an ancient-looking woman with deep wrinkles creasing her forehead. Her brows arched permanently and a long nose curved over her small, thin mouth.

"That thing better not cause any trouble." She scowled and continued polishing a glass chalice. The final bit of cold leaving my skin, I pulled a rickety stool next to the now sleeping Arcturas, and settled into the warmth. The barkeep tucked her polishing rag into her flour stained apron and poured a chalice of spiced wine. Motioning for the drunk to finish his drink and leave, she limped over to the hearth.

"I can't pay for that." My gaze lowered to the floor. I let the loose strands of hair fall in front of my eyes, attempting to conceal my identity. The barkeep's eyes softened slightly.

"On the house," she croaked, pushing the wine into my hands.

Grasping for the chalice, I drank deeply. The nutty spice burned my throat.

"Thank you," I choked out between gulps.

"So…What's your story, girl? You got a name?" Her voice was as withered as the skin of her cheeks. I sank lower into my chair, hiding my face in the flickering shadows.

"It's Elpi- erm Ell, ma'am. I was hunting out in the woods and got caught up in a storm. I found her alone. Something had attacked her mother and littermates. She was the only survivor. I couldn't just leave her stranded," I said, pointing to Arcturas, who was now sprawled across the warm floor. The barkeep eyed us, silently scanning me from the too-big boots on my feet to the matted black hair of my bun and bruises forming.

"Alright…Ell…, where's your hunting gear then?"

"What?" Stuttering, I looked around the tavern, now empty. I hadn't noticed the drunk leave. Rickety wooden tables with broken, mismatched chairs tucked beneath them scattered about the room. A single candle flickered on each tabletop, casting shadows across the faded, cracked walls. At the archway leading into the back kitchen, a small, gangly rat chewed on a slice of stale bread, its cheeks puffed with crumbs.

"Well, if you were hunting like you say, where's your weapon? I don't know many hunters who'd go out in this weather unarmed and in merely a shift with boots three times too big." The barkeep raised a brow and tucked her withered hands into her apron pockets.

"Oh, um, I was rushing to get back to the city and I must have left it in the forest accidentally. And this is all I can afford, if you must know." My gaze lowered to the deep red liquid swirling in my chalice. I prayed to the Gods she didn't see right through me.

"I see." She scratched her long, jagged chin. "Well, finish your drink and get going. I'm closing up early to prepare for the storm and I ‘spose you best be getting home to your family."

I nodded, gulping down the rest of the wine. Dreading the freezing cold awaiting me outside, I shivered and stood. At least I'd had a short bit of reprieve.

"Thank you for your hospitality," I said, trying my best to smile at the ancient woman. Something like pity flashed across her eyes as she inspected my ratty, grey clothes. Large, bloody gashes from the flatland creature's attack ran up my calves and a purple bruise had surfaced on my left cheek.

"Judging by those frail little arms of yours, you're probably hungry," she said, eyeing my wounds. I shook my head, but the grumble of an empty stomach gave me away.

"From the looks of you, I'll bet you have nowhere to go. I don't normally entertain beggars, but I ‘spose you can stay in the spare room upstairs, girl. I don't want no trouble. There's some mutton stew in the kitchen on the stove and a jar of chicken livers for your little beast on the shelf in the pantry." She stood from her seat, decrepit knees cracking and straining as she straightened them. "Bathing chamber is upstairs, at the end of the hall. Wash all that mud off. I don't want you tracking anything into the spare room."

"Thank you, but I couldn't," I said, securing the laces of my boots.

"Don't be stupid, girl. If you don't stay here, without anywhere to go you wouldn't make it through the night with this storm," she said.

The barkeep had a point. I had no options. I'd have to trust in this total stranger or face the unrelenting elements.

"If you insist…" I trailed off, realizing I didn't catch her name.

"Frya." She grunted as she locked the front door, dimmed the oil sconces and began slowly ascending the dusty stairs in the far corner of the tavern. "I expect you to be up and ready to work in the morning. Oh, and next time you're trying to hide who you are, Lady Elpis, might I suggest coming up with your story beforehand, eh?" She chuckled and disappeared into the shadow of the second story.

My jaw dropped to the floor. She had recognized me. Should I take the risk or slit her throat while she slept? Under no circumstance would she report to the city guard. Was her hospitality a trick? I glanced out a dusty window, inspecting the street for any sign of the guards. Maybe she had sent the drunk to fetch them. If that were the case, they'd be here any second.

All was quiet and still outside as snow whipped across the glass. My stomach grumbled louder. I was out of options. Arcturas grumbled in her sleep at my feet, content in the warmth of shelter. If we left now, we wouldn't last long. Even if we stayed hidden from the guards, we'd freeze to death in this cold front. Glancing out the window once more, I scanned the sidewalks for any sign of commotion. Not even a lone guard patrolled the street. The smell of mutton stew simmering in the kitchen and the crackle of firewood held me captive. I couldn't bear the thought of going out again. Sighing, I rose to my feet. I'd stay for the night, but keep my cloak close and my knife even closer.

Trailing into the kitchen, I ladled a serving of thick brown stew into a chipped ceramic bowl and pulled a tarnished spoon from the drawer beneath the spice rack. Searching the pantry, I found the jar of chicken livers, scooped a few on to a cracked tea plate, and returned to my seat by the hearth.

Arcturas stirred from her peaceful sleep at the smell of the raw livers. Setting down the plate for her, I slurped up a spoonful of stew. The wolf pup devoured her meal instantaneously and returned to her peaceful slumber. I sat and savored mine, keeping my eye on the window. Each spoonful tasted better than the last. It had a rich flavor with hints of cardamom and clove. The velvety tenderness of cooked carrots and potatoes offset the tough texture of the mutton. Cherishing the warmth now settling into my stomach, I sat back and rubbed my eyes, a heavy sleepiness washing over me.

Licking the last remnants of the stew from my spoon, I set my bowl in the kitchen and began up the stairs, Arcturas nipping at my heels behind me. The second floor of the tavern was a long, drafty hallway lined with doors. Oil lamp sconces projected shadows in the crevices of the alcove. An open doorway a few doors down to my left marked the guest bedroom.

I crept to the bathing chamber at the end of the hall, and softly clicked the door shut. Frya had laid out a pair of faded brown trousers and a white tunic, worn with tears. Peeling the remnants of the grey shift from my aching body, I gazed in the mirror, taking inventory of the gashes and scrapes I'd accumulated throughout my journey. Large swells of bruising protruded from my abdomen. Wincing, I touched each tender spot. My body had taken more of a beating than I'd realized. No wonder the old barkeep took pity on me. Turning on the faucet of the stained tub, steam revolved around the hot stream until it clouded the entire room.

I stepped into the scorching water, embracing the sharpness of the heat against the bottoms of my feet. How long had it been since I'd soaked in a truly hot bath? Sinking up to my neck, I tipped my head back, half expecting to see the stone tiles of the tower's bathing chamber. Instead, beige ceramic tile lined the ceiling. I laughed and counted each one. There were more tonight than there were before.

A sudden rush of emotions escaped from that locked away piece of me, and I broke into hysterics. I had lost so much of myself during my imprisonment. I had become a stranger to my body. Now that I was free, I wanted to remember her. I hoped that one day the empty carcass of flesh I'd become would swell back to life with the woman I used to be. I prayed that one day it wouldn't be painful to think of her.

She was a woman who truly saw the beauty of the world in kaleidoscope shades of countless colors and hues. A woman who felt deeply and thoroughly with her entire soul and who fought, tirelessly and unyieldingly for those that she loved. Including herself. I wanted to know her, to feel her coursing through my veins once more.

Hushing my sobs beneath my now raisin fingers, I took a deep breath and tried to regain composure. Quiet freedom like this leant room to outbursts of feelings I'd worked so hard to suppress. I pulled the black comb from my hair, letting it untwist from its low knot, and began working through the snarls with my fingers. Focusing on one task after another kept my mind locked down and under control. I scrubbed my nail beds until not a speck of dried blood or dirt remained. I polished the grimy stains off of my skin.

When I was thoroughly clean, I dressed in the scratchy old clothing and tiptoed off to bed, floorboards creaking beneath each step. Greeted by Arcturas, who had slid beneath the yellow quilted covers of the small twin bed, I locked the door behind me. The room had a single window that overlooked the snowy, dark street below. Checking once more for guards, I peered out through its frozen pane. The only motion was that of the heavy, blanketed snow fall.

On the nightstand, a single candle flame quivered in the drafty night air. I laid my cloak and boots next to bed and slid the knife and my key beneath the flat, feather pillow. Climbing in, springs squealing beneath my weight, I let my exhausted limbs, now swollen from the heat of the bath, sink into the cotton mattress. A warm little body curled against me beneath the covers. The rise and fall of her delicate chest quieted my thoughts until our breath was in sync. The two of us drifted into a peaceful sleep. We were far from being safe, but I was far away from the tower. I had made it. Just as that key had unlocked my freedom, it had unlocked something within me. Truly, this was a breath of fresh air .