Prologue

PROLOGUE

When young Colin awoke, the day felt odd and out of place.

It wasn’t that quiet, and the house was out of the ordinary. It was more the feeling within his soul. He felt unsettled, despite the fact that nothing was different in the world that he currently lived in.

Colin knew, even at the young age he was at, that there was danger beyond the borders of his estate. His father had gone off with the best warriors many moons ago, and they had been dressed for battle. Colin knew that his father might be injured, but he never considered the possibility that he might not return. His father was a laird, powerful and well-liked. The fact that he wasn’t going to return was unheard of. He would return, and his mother would embrace him, and his little sisters would run to him. And then his father would smile at Colin and ask him if he had taken care of the estate and the women while he was gone, to which Colin could answer yes.

At least, that is what Colin thought was going to happen. So far, nothing had proven true yet because his father had not returned. They lived in a state of patience and fear, waiting for news from the front.

Slowly, Colin rose. Even though he was still a child, he knew that he had to have dignity in everything that he did. He knew that he had to be quiet when he wasn't being spoken to, and choose his words carefully. His father had once told him that his words could make the difference between someone’s life and someone's death, and so Colin had sometimes been afraid to speak.

Colin had chosen actions instead of words, often, and he sometimes got into trouble for picking fights with the other children in the estate. His cousins were often at the end of his childhood rage, but his father just smiled and shook his head when he had to break up fights. It wasn’t anything to worry about, Colin was told.

Today, though, he wasn’t angry, or upset. He just felt odd as he rose from bed. The servants would be in soon to help get him ready for the day, and his stomach rumbled for breakfast. No matter what kind of mood he was in, he was always grateful that there was good hot food in the morning.

His mother was in the great hall when he was finally ready. He was surprised by this because she wasn’t often there. Married women often ate breakfast in their rooms, so the fact that she was downstairs seemed out of the ordinary.

“Colin,” she said, as soon as he entered, “I would like you to be ready to go outside today.”

“Outside?” He looked doubtfully out the window. It was a cold day, and the wind was already blowing. He knew that the Scottish Highlands could bring a terrible chill that sometimes took people days to shake. They often did not go outside until later in the day, when the sun was fully risen and at its warmest.

“Yes,” she said. “Your father will be home today.”

“He will?” Colin’s bright blue eyes lit up at that thought. “How do you know? Did you receive word? Is he coming? Is he really coming back?”

“We have received word that the troops were spotted on the Highland,” she replied. “So you will see him today, and thank God.”

“I…missed him very much,” Colin said, and looked hesitantly at his mother. He wasn’t sure whether such a thing was too emotional to say, but his mother just smiled.

“So did I,” she said. “Now, break your fast, and be ready to go as soon as we receive word that they are on the hill.”

The nearby hill was the edge of the estate, and was always what the warriors used to return home. Colin loved the hill because the view from the hill was spectacular. He could see the village below, and his father often reminded him that everyone in the village was looking up at them. The other thing that stuck with him was how one day, everything would be his. He surveyed the lands, eleven at his young age, to consider the changes he would make and the things he would have to take care of.

Colin barely tasted his breakfast as he ate. He thought of all the things he was going to tell his father, and how exactly he was going to phrase his words. He thought of how he wanted to hide the fact that he had cried when he slipped and fell the other day, and how he would rather his father tell him about all his adventures first. Had they won?

Of course they won, Colin thought. They wouldn’t be coming back alive if they hadn’t won.

All around him, the manor house began to fill with the hustle and bustle of activity. The servants were dusting every corner, and they were making a feast for the warriors. The air was light and happy, and Colin could feel their very excitement. He waited patiently by the window, with his eyes on the hill, until his mother said it was time.

Quickly, because they had been standing by, the servants began to help him and his sister into their warm clothes. Normally, he protested, because the wool was itchy, and he did not like the feel of his hands sweating inside the wool mittens. Today, though, he did not mind at all.

“Come,” his mother said, at last, when they were all dressed. She was dressed in her warmest clothes too, and Colin knew that it must be bitter cold outside. Still, she looked exactly as regal and elegant as she always was. She held her hand out for him, and the two of them walked outside, into the front garden.

Colin could hear the troops before he saw them. They were coming over the hill, and they were loud. The horses were thundering forward, and the men were calling out, likely in celebration of their homecoming.

The villagers must have known as well, because they started to gather near the hill too. There were many warriors who hadn’t earned their place yet in the manor, and so they still lived in the village. Colin thought, however, that after such a great victory, they would all deserve a place in the barracks here.

He watched for his father’s horse. It was white, and very tall and broad. His father had chosen the horse to stand out at the front of the troops, and show to the enemy that they could afford the very best. Most of the other horses were brown, black, or tan, and they often fell behind him.

Colin could not see the white horse as they approached.

All the servants were gathered behind him as well now, and Colin looked to one of them for an answer. After all, most of them had helped raise him, and they always seemed to know the answer when there was one to seek out.

Nobody made eye contact with him. Nobody so much as said a word.

“Mother?” he asked, when he couldn’t take it anymore. “Where is Father?”

His mother remained silent as well, and Colin began to feel a chill that had nothing to do with the cold.

Thomas, his father’s right-hand man and best warrior, approached. Colin noticed that Thomas's face was bruised, and he seemed to be moving stiffly. He first met his mother’s eyes, and then Colin’s. Normally, Thomas was quite friendly to both of them. This time, he dropped down to one knee.

“My lady,” he said, “I am here to tell you that the battle has been won. However, not all of us have returned.”

Colin felt that chill again. He heard two of his sisters giggling beside him, and he wanted to shake them. Did they not realize that something was terribly wrong?

“Did you give him a proper burial?” his mother asked, with a shaky voice. “Or did you bring him home?”

“We buried him there,” Thomas replied. “It was what he wanted.”

“Did he...suffer?” his mother asked, and Thomas shook his head.

“No,” he replied. “He knew that God calls us all home, and a warrior’s death was one that he wanted, if death was unavoidable.”

Finally, Colin found the courage to speak up.

“Is it true?” he asked. “Is my father…”

“You are the laird now, young one.” Thomas turned gently towards him. “And all of this land is yours.”

“No.” Colin shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. He did not want to believe it. “No. Where is my father?”

Thomas tried to smile gently, but there was no cure for the pain that Colin felt in his soul.

His father was gone. If Colin had dared to think such horrible thoughts, he realized that he knew from the moment he woke up this morning. Something had been terribly wrong, but he hadn't dared to acknowledge it.

His father wasn’t supposed to die now. He was immortal. He was supposed to come home and continue to teach him how to be a laird, so he would be ready when the time came.

It appeared that the time was now, and Colin was nowhere near ready.

“You have to take care of your mother and sisters now,” Thomas said, softly. “And you have to promise to be fair and just. That is what your father would have wanted.”

Colin wanted to run away from the entire situation. He didn’t care what his father would have wanted. He wanted his father here to tell him.

“Colin,” his mother said, beside him, “do you understand what Thomas is telling you?”

“Yes,” Colin managed, at last. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he brushed them away quickly. A laird wasn’t supposed to cry. His father wouldn't have wanted that.

His mother’s voice was soft, but steady. She seemed to have regained some strength, despite the fact that she must have been grieving too.

“And will you honor your father’s memory?” she asked. Colin nodded.

“Yes,” he replied.

His sisters were still giggling beside him, and Colin went from angry to jealous of them. They were still unaware of the situation. They were happy, instead of sad.

He didn't know what to say to them. He wanted to yell at them, and at the same time, he wanted to live in their reality.

“We should go inside,” his mother said, at last. “It is getting very cold out.”

“Yes,” Colin replied, and turned to his sisters. “Come. We are going inside."

“But what about Father?” his sister, Susanna, asked. She seemed completely unaware of the fact that most of the adults around her had tears in their eyes. She did, however, notice when one defiant tear slipped over Colin's cheek. “Colin, what is the matter? Why are you crying?”

Colin felt he became a laird in that moment. It was the moment he went from equal playmates with his sisters to having to protect and care for them. It was the moment he felt his soul shift.

“Gather ’round,” he said, and held out his hands. They both came towards him with puzzled expressions on their faces. “There is something I have to tell you.”

He didn’t know exactly what words he used, but he did see the expressions on their faces crumple. Without a word, they both came towards him and began to cry. Colin, barely bigger than them, wrapped his arms around them and held his chin high.

He was the laird now. He would be strong, and he would find a way to hide the pain that he felt. All of the lands, the estate, and his family were his responsibility now. Colin did not know how he was going to do it, but he knew he had to try. There was no other option anymore.

He was alone.