Chapter 14

14

He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. “But Maura, I am marrying someone else, and you will too, one day,” he pointed out. “You want to be untouched on your wedding night, do you not?”

“Men never are,” Maura replied shortly. “Why must women be? This will be our only night together, Gavin. I want tae remember what it feels like tae be wi’ you. Dae ye not want me?”

Gavin’s heart skipped a beat. She was right; this would likely be the only time they would be able to share their bodies, and their love—if Maura loved him. Yet whether she did or not, he was aching for her; he simply could not resist her any longer.

“Maura,” he whispered, pulling her closer.

For a fleeting second she hesitated, not quite knowing what to expect, then she cupped his face with her hands and surrendered to him. As his mouth moved gently on hers and his tongue began to slide around the sensitive inner edges of her lips, she gave herself up to it.

Gavin made an involuntary sound in his throat as his arms tightened around her. He pulled her closer still till she could feel the ridge of his arousal pressing against her.

Maura had been apprehensive before, but no longer. It was beautiful to breathe in the musky smell of a man’s body and feel the rasp of his unshaven face against hers. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, frowning slightly.

Maura was reacting the same way. She was in the middle of what felt like a pool of moisture and imagining how it would feel to be made love by someone so gentle, yet so strong.

Gavin’s green eyes were dark with desire before he bent his head to kiss her very softly, running the tip of his tongue around the inside of her lips. His touch was firm but gentle, and he spread his hands over her everywhere, her throat, her breasts, her stomach.

He paused to rip his clothes off and helped Maura do the same, but he was too desperate to possess her to even pause to admire her body.

He followed his hands with his lips, and stopped to suckle her breasts, first one, then the other, teasing her nipples with his tongue, scraping them gently with his teeth until she was gasping and writhing under the sweet torture. He kissed his way down to her navel, pausing to circle it with his tongue, and Maura giggled at the ticklish sensation.

Gavin watched her face, smiled wickedly, then lowered his head even further down. She was shocked at what he did next, as he swept his tongue through her womanly folds, back and forth, over and over again. Then he found the sweetest, most sensitive spot on her body and began to work his magic on it with his teeth and tongue until she was writhing and moaning with pleasure. She had never felt anything so wonderful.

Maura arched her hips up from the bed involuntarily, almost unable to cope with the thrilling sensations that were coursing through her. She plunged her fingers into the thick mass of his hair, desperate for something to hold on to.

Gavin looked up, watching Maura’s face. It looked agonised, but he knew it was because the pleasure he was inflicting on her was almost too much for her to bear, and he felt a soaring sense of pride.

“Would you like me to stop?” he asked mischievously.

Maura’s eyes flew open. “No,” she cried. “No.”

“Good,” he said, satisfied. “You taste so sweet, Maura, just the way I imagined. You were made for me.”

She caught her breath, mesmerised by his dark grey-green eyes, and gave a soft moan as she felt him thrusting two fingers inside her. Then he pushed in and pulled out, all the while teasing her sweetest spot with his thumb till she screamed with delight.

Maura threw her head back and clung to him, unsure of how much more pleasure she could bear.

Gavin loved that he could make her feel this way. He felt strong and dominant. He knew that at this moment Maura was utterly under his control and he would do anything she wanted to please her. Yet, he would never forgive himself if he hurt her in any way because now he was her slave, and that was the way he wanted it.

Maura loved the feeling of being small and feminine, the opposite of his strong masculinity. In a strange way, she enjoyed being submissive because she sensed that Gavin’s strength lay not in domination, but in protectiveness. She had always found it hard to trust, but now she knew that not only did she have faith in Gavin, but because she loved him, she was happy to surrender.

His fingers were still working their magic, but it was not enough. Presently, he moved up her body to kiss her lips, and she tasted herself on his mouth as his tongue tangled with hers. This time it was hungrier, fiercer. Maura wanted him to go further, wanted him inside her, thrusting, his body chafing against hers, breast against chest.

She needed him so badly. When the kiss was over, she laid her face against his chest and heard the steady thumping of his heart. It was fast and hard, and suddenly, she knew she could not hold back any longer—she needed him desperately.

“Please, Gavin,” she begged.

“Please what?” he asked wickedly, holding her chin so she was facing him. He wanted her to beg him for satisfaction.

She took his right hand and closed it around her breast. He shut his eyes for a second as if in relief, then he squeezed it gently, and she heard his breathing thicken.

Maura took his shaft in her hand and placed it against her entrance, then wrapped her legs around his hips. The movement forced him inside her, and she heard him give an almost animal growl of pleasure.

She felt a lightning bolt of pain as he took her maidenhead and cried out, making him stop immediately.

“Maura, I’m sorry,” he said desperately. “I hurt you.”

“I was told it always hurts the first time,” she whispered, kissing him softly. “Dinnae stop, Gavin. Make me yours.”

“Please tell me to stop if I hurt you again,” he murmured. “The last thing I want to do is cause you pain.”

Maura said nothing, but nodded, then Gavin began to thrust, slowly at first, holding himself back as he desperately tried not to reach his climax before he had satisfied her.

He had never experienced anything so wonderful as the feeling of being inside her, driving her towards something that he knew would be glorious. Gavin had abandoned his restraint, unable to hold himself back any longer as he felt the walls of Maura’s sex clenching around him, driving him further and further towards his climax.

Now that the pain was gone, Maura savoured the building of her orgasm as waves and waves of pleasure gathered, waiting to break into a storm. She felt Gavin beginning to tense inside her, heard his laboured breathing and his deep grunts of pleasure.

She was climbing a mountain, and for a moment she almost despaired as its peak seemed unreachable, then she thrust her hips upward one last time and climaxed in an almighty explosion of ecstasy. Stars spangled inside her eyelids, and her whole body seemed to be out of her control as waves of pleasure shuddered through her.

Gavin watched her face as an expression of delight and incredulity crossed it. Seeing her reaction gave him a feeling of such joy that he let himself come, shouting her name while he experienced his fiercest climax ever.

They lay joined together for a while, not speaking, enjoying the afterglow while a blanket of peace and love settled over them.

After a while, Gavin rolled onto his side and pulled out of her, and she gave a little moan of protest. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “I am sorry, Maura,” he said, “I hope it was all right for you.”

“Ye look so worried,” she observed, then laughed. “It was heavenly, Gavin. I never dreamed anythin’ could be like that.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips softly. “For me too, lovie,” he whispered. He kissed her again because he simply could not help himself. He felt utterly sated, filled with a warmth and joy he had never experienced before.

Maura’s eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, but she could hardly bear to close her eyes and blot out the face of the man she loved. Eventually, she had to, but he lived in her dreams until morning.

When Maura woke, she was looking into Gavin’s sage green eyes, and he was stroking her cheek tenderly. He smiled at her and brushed a lock of hair away from her face, then kissed her softly.

“Good morning,” he murmured. “Did you sleep well?”

“Aye, very well,” she replied, smiling as she stroked his bristly face. “I never thought sleepin’ wi’ a man could be sae nice an’ cosy.” Even as she said the words, she felt herself reacting to his nearness, and hoped they could just stay there and make love again.

It was not to be, however.

Gavin smiled at her tenderly, then his expression became sad, and he sighed. “We have to go,” he said softly. “There is no time to waste. I wish we could stay longer, Maura, but we cannot. It’s too dangerous.”

Maura nodded, then climbed out of bed, turning her back and pulling a blanket around her so that her body was invisible to him, as his was to her, to avoid temptation. She wished with all her heart that they could be together again, but she knew that it would result in a long period of lingering in bed, talking and laughing with each other. Gavin simply did not have the time for that; now, duty had to come before love, and although it was breaking her heart, Maura had to let him go.

They packed in silence, then stood irresolutely by the door for a moment, neither wanting to be the first to speak. At last, Gavin said, “Let’s be on our way.”

He turned away from her and opened the door, and she followed him quietly downstairs, then after a quick breakfast, they left the tavern without looking back.

It was only a short distance to the road leading to the castle, perhaps a quarter of a mile, and their parting would come all too soon. Gavin took Maura’s hand. The skin was rough from hard work, but he loved the feel of it. It reminded him of how genuine she was, how unlike the pretentious people he had met in what he now thought of as his former life.

They walked very slowly, neither wanting their time together to end. At some point, tears began to leak from Maura’s eyes; the thought of leaving Gavin was almost unbearably painful. She could not even stand to look him in the eye because of what she might see there. What if it was the same agony that was in her own?

“Thank you for saving me,” Gavin said tenderly as he looked at her. “I have never experienced such kindness before, Maura. I would not have lasted the night without your help.”

She smiled sadly at the memory. “I remember the first time I saw ye,” Maura said, sniffing and wiping her eyes. “I have never felt sae sorry for anybody in my life. Ye looked like a poor whipped dog, an’ I couldnae have lived wi’ myself if I had left ye there, but helpin’ ye was the best thing I ever did.”

“Why?” Gavin asked, smiling a little. “Because you got a big, strong man who threw out all the drunks?”

Maura laughed. “That as well,” she answered. “No, no’ just that. I found a person that was no’ like a’ the other people o’ his class, the ones that lord it over us an’ couldnae care less if we live or die. You are happy tae be one o’ us, Gavin. When I saw the way ye were wi’ the orphans, I felt like weepin’ wi’ joy. Those bairns mean so much tae me, an’ tae see that somebody else cares about them, it makes me so happy. Ye are truly a good man, Gavin, but ye never gie yourself the credit ye deserve.”

“Thank you, Maura,” he said warmly, “but being in Carmalcolm and being among the orphans made me realise just how far I had become from being a decent human being. If I sort everything out, the first thing I will do is build them a proper home, and hopefully find loving parents for them.”

“An’ ye will marry Lady Elspeth an’ have bairns o’ your own.” Maura’s voice was husky with unshed tears.

Gavin sighed. “Elspeth is a pleasant enough person, Maura,” he said, “but I am marrying her out of duty, and it is also my duty to sire children. It’s out of my hands.”

“I know,” Maura nodded slowly.

“But maybe you will marry and have children of your own,” Gavin said, trying to sound more cheerful.

“Aye, perhaps I will,” she agreed, but inwardly she doubted it would ever happen.

They walked for a little while in silence, then they climbed a little hillock and Ardneuk castle came into view.

Maura stopped walking and turned to him. “I will leave ye here.” She tried to keep her voice from trembling, but she could not. Her heart was breaking at the thought of the man she loved stepping into the arms of another woman.

Gavin tilted her chin up so that she was looking into her eyes. He had never seen her look more beautiful as he took her hands and said softly, “I will never forget last night, Maura.” His eyes were infinitely sad, and suddenly Maura was overcome with the need to tell him that she loved him, but the words stuck in her throat; they simply would not come out.

“I will not let you down,” Gavin went on. “I vow to you that I will be the best Laird I can possibly be. Knowing you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the most wonderful person I know, but now I must do my duty.”

“I know.” Maura gave him a tremulous smile. “I will think o’ ye often.”

Once again, she tried to say the words that would bare her soul to him, but she could not. She stood on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, then she turned and walked back the way they had come.

Gavin stood looking after for a moment until she disappeared from his sight, then he resolutely strode forward again, swallowing down tears of his own. He wanted to tell Maura how much he loved her, how much being without her would cost him, but if he told her, it would only make things worse for both of them.

Gavin’s heart was aching as he watched his love walk away out of his life. Would he ever see her again? He had no idea, but perhaps it would be better if he did not. It would break his heart to see her happily married to another man, particularly if there were children.

Then he pulled himself together. He could spend his whole life pining for Maura, but it would not change anything. It simply was not meant to be.

It took Gavin another half day to reach Ardneuk Castle, home of the Jamieson family. When he presented himself to the guard at the gate, he was met with a reaction that was a mixture of incredulity and derision.

“May I speak to your master, please?” he asked. “Tell him Laird Gavin Forsyth has come to see him.”

“Laird Forsyth?” the man asked, in a tone of deep disbelief. “Ye cannae be. He’s deid!”

Gavin could quite cheerfully have knocked the arrogant little man to the ground, but he restrained himself, not wanting to make matters worse. “I assure you, he is very much alive, and is standing in front of you,” he said grimly. “Now, may I see Laird Jamieson? Search me if you like, and send an armed guard with me if you think I am a threat.”

The man looked doubtful, but then he glanced across at his fellow guard, who nodded. They patted him down to ensure that he was carrying no weapons, then allowed him to enter through the massive iron-bound gates.

As he strode up to the castle, other guards, all armed to the teeth, looked at Gavin as though they were seeing things and began to mutter among themselves. He had never felt so vulnerable and afraid, but he made his face so expressionless that it might have been carved from stone.

The men held on to his arms so tightly that it became painful, but Gavin dared not say anything for fear of being ridiculed. He had to keep his dignity at all costs.

At last, they reached the door of Laird Jamieson’s study, the guard rapped on it loudly. “Somebody tae see ye, M’Laird!” he called. “Says he is Laird Forsyth!”

A moment later, the door was wrenched open and Gavin stood looking into the dark eyes of Laird Alan Jamieson, which were wide with astonishment and disbelief. He stared at Gavin for a moment, then stood aside to let him in, not taking his eyes off him the whole time.

“Gavin,” he said at last, shaking his head, “I thought you were dead!”

He escorted him to a chair and Gavin sat down with great relief. For a while, he had been doubtful that he would be able to enter the castle at all. The Laird poured him a glass of wine and sat down opposite him.

“What happened to you? We heard that the castle had been taken over and that you had been killed, but your body was never found.”

Gavin sipped his wine gratefully; he had not drunk any of his favourite beverage since the fateful night he was thrown out of his home. Now, it tasted like ambrosia, and he looked into its ruby depths as he went on.

“After my parents died, I became a terrible man and an even worse Laird,” he confessed. “I became heartless, and I treated everyone around me like dirt, drove away my friends, and let the estate go to rack and ruin. The clan elders found their chance to take the lairdship. They believed no one would stand by me, so they decided to drive me away. No doubt they were afraid I would come back with an army, so they tried to kill me. If it were not for the intervention of a good friend, I would be dead by now.

However, they have found out I am alive, so they are pursuing me. In a way, I cannot blame them because I have become the kind of man I despise. All I can say is that I’m truly sorry for what I did, and if I am given the chance I will do much, much better, but I cannot do it alone.” He looked up. “So I need your help, my Laird.”

“I see,” Laird Jamieson said thoughtfully. “And what makes you think I should help you?”

Gavin frowned. “I thought?—”

Suddenly, the door was flung open and a young woman with long dark hair, whom Gavin knew to be the Laird’s daughter, rushed in. Elspeth’s pretty face was flushed with exertion. Obviously, she has been running, but as soon as she saw Gavin, her eyes widened with disbelief.

“Gavin!” she cried. “They told me you were here, but I didn’t believe them. I thought you were dead. Oh, I am so glad to see you!”

Gavin smiled at her. He had always been fond of Elspeth, and even though he did not relish the thought of marrying her, she was a pleasant young woman with a kind nature. “I am well, Elspeth,” he replied. “And very glad to see you, too.”

“Elspeth,” Laird Jamieson stood up, went over to his daughter, and put his hands on her shoulders. “Please calm down. We are discussing men’s business—Lairds’ business—and when we are finished, you may speak to Gavin for as long as you wish.”

“This is my concern too,” Elspeth protested. “Let Gavin rest for a while before you talk. I am so glad you are safe.”

Before Laird Jamieson could answer, Elspeth grabbed hold of Gavin’s hand and tugged at it. She was not strong enough to pull him to his feet, but he followed her anyway, too confused at that moment to do anything else.

Laird Jamieson was about to protest, then he thought better of it and sat down. Elspeth had been so miserable when she thought Gavin was dead that he reasoned perhaps it was better to give them some time alone.

Elspeth led Gavin along a corridor that seemed about a mile long, then up various staircases and along more passageways until he was completely lost. At last, they came to a door that was surrounded by an elaborately carved frame, and Elspeth opened it to admit him.

The room was typically feminine, with pale pink curtains and a rose pink quilt on the bed, flowers in silver vases and jewel-coloured rugs on the polished mahogany floor. There were two chairs in front of the marble fireplace, each inhabited by a cat, one tabby and one grey. They both looked up and immediately jumped off the chairs, then ran up to Elspeth and began rubbing themselves affectionately against her legs, purring ecstatically.

She bent down and picked them both up, then set them down in a padded basket, where they began to wash themselves. Gavin had always been rather indifferent to dogs and cats, preferring his horses, but now he realised he would somehow have to overcome his lack of interest. He knew that the cats meant a lot to Elspeth, and if he were her husband, he would have to put up with them whether he liked it or not.

Elspeth wrapped her arms around him, and Gavin was astonished to realise that she was weeping. “I am so glad to see you, Gavin,” she said tearfully. “I truly thought you were dead. I cried my eyes out for days. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’re back!” She squeezed him more tightly for a moment, then looked up at him with a gentle smile.

“I am very glad to see you too, Elspeth,” he said. “It has been a long time.”

“Please wait here,” she said, “I will tell one of the manservants to draw you a bath, and you can have lunch with Father and me. Stay here and rest.”

Then she left, closing the door quietly behind her, leaving him to think. How could he possibly endure his marital duties when he had all but gone to heaven with Maura? He sighed and laid down on the bed with the rose pink quilt, resolving that as soon as he moved into the room he would change the colour scheme at once!