3. Spencer

CHAPTER 3

SPENCER

I took an Uber home after saying goodbye to Blaire, letting myself into my home in Great Falls at four o'clock in the morning. I could smell coffee, so I walked into the kitchen to see Vanessa at the table with her tablet. "Morning, Vani. Why are you up so early?"

I walked to the pot and poured myself a cup, taking a seat across from her to try and determine her mood, which seemed cold as ice. "I spoke with Jay. He's upstairs in his room, but he's leaving in a few hours. You need to sit him down and talk to him, Spencer. I won't betray your secrets, but he needs to know I'm not the aggrieved wife taken by surprise because of her husband's infidelity." The snap in her voice told me she was pissed off.

"Tell me what's wrong?" Out of everyone involved, Vanessa and Jay deserved to be hurt the least. We adopted Jay after he came to live with us as a foster child when he was seven.

Jay was in a group home around the block from a house in Springfield that Vani was trying to sell. On the day of the open house, a beautiful little boy strolled nonchalantly in through the front door.

Vani talked to him for a few minutes and decided he was curious, so she showed him around. She figured it was good practice since it was her first solo open house, and at the end of it, the little boy said, "I'm gonna have a house like this one day so I can have a family."

When Vani found out where Jay lived, she insisted on walking him home. What she saw at the group home upset her, and the next week, we petitioned to be his foster parents.

A year later, we adopted him, and we became the family we never thought we'd be. Knowing my son was upset with me broke my heart. He was never meant to be touched by anything I did. Yet another thing I didn't contemplate when I took off for a wild vacation in Antigua with a fuck buddy.

"I'll talk to him when he wakes up. How are you doing?" I was worried about her.

"Mother called. She's asked that you not come for Thanksgiving because she doesn't want her church group to turn their back on her for welcoming the queer into her home. Her words, not mine. I told her to go fuck herself, and that I wouldn't be there either." Clearly, Vani's anger wasn't directed at me, which was a relief. Her mother was truly a piece of work.

I chuckled quietly because Vani sounded like the girl I knew back in Portsmouth. "I'm sorry, but Velma has always hated me. She's always looked for a reason to remind you how much better you could have done."

Vanessa's grandparents had died several years ago, never knowing what had happened to their granddaughter when she was a beautiful young woman full of light. They never knew that Velma was indirectly responsible for that beautiful light being extinguished in Vani's eyes.

I wanted to tell them what happened to their only granddaughter, but Vani begged me not to, so I kept my mouth shut with them. I did, however, remind Velma at every chance I got that it was her fault for leaving the man alone in the house with her precious daughter.

It galled me that she chose to pretend it never happened. That was my biggest beef with the woman. The years of therapy Vani endured at the hands of Velma's inability to judge a person's character never failed to anger me.

"I'm sorry, Vani. I didn't mean to come between you and your mother. I swear, I won't go anywhere near her, but you and Jay should go. He'll be going back to Tech after the holiday anyway, and he and Velma always got along. I'll be fine.

"I'm going to catch some sleep. I need to go into the office later. I'm sure the troops are nervous. Why don't you go back to bed, too?" I knew she had a showing at eight, but she could sleep for a couple more hours. Hell, even if she didn't, she'd still look fresh as a daisy when she went to meet her clients.

"How was Blaire?" Vanessa didn't look up.

I sighed. I didn't want to discuss it, but she deserved answers. "NBS fired him. Somehow, his boss got pictures of the two of us in Antigua and held onto them until last night. Blaire didn't really give a reason why, but he asked something interesting. ‘ Who followed you to Antigua ?' And it made me wonder if I really was followed.

"I only told my travel plans to you, Mario, and Blaire. You didn't mention to anyone that I was going on vacation, did you?"

The look in Vanessa's eyes was one of pure venom, and I'd never seen it before in all the years we'd been married. "Are you asking me if I had you followed, Spencer? After everything we've been through, do you think I'm behind the complete chaotic disaster our lives have become? My client canceled the showing this morning and pulled the listing from me. My boss called to tell me he was sorry you lost and suggested I take some time off to get my private life in order. He offered me the name of a good divorce lawyer and told me to call him after the first of the year." Clearly, that was why she was up—she hadn't been to bed.

Guilt swamped me again. What a shitstorm! I rose from my chair and walked around the table, lowering myself to my knees before taking her hands in mine. "I cannot tell you how sorry I am this whole thing happened, dear one. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm not accusing you of anything." I kissed her palms and rested my head against them.

I was so fucking tired of it. Going to work since the scandal came out had been a goddamn trip to hell for me. The whispers. The nasty looks like I was shit on the bottom of their shoes. I endured it with a smile and limited my interactions with others, not yet ready to crawl into a hole and die.

Oh, it was fucking tempting to disappear, but I was made of stronger stuff than that, or so I believed until that moment as I sobbed into Vanessa's hands.

"Oh, Spence, I'm sorry this happened. We've had a life we both loved, you living your way, and me living mine, both of us supporting Jay in everything he did. We didn't hurt anyone. We love each other, and for someone to try to tear you down, it hurts me as well." She bent over and kissed the back of my head, crying along with me.

I'd been holding it inside since the news broke about the events in Antigua, but I wondered how long Vanessa had been hiding her feelings on the matter. We cried for a long time, mourning the happy life we'd lost that seemed to be free-falling and sucking us down. Sadly, I didn't know how to stop it.

The term lame duck was apt for the way I was treated on the Hill after my loss. I still owed my constituents the work they'd hired me to do when they voted me into office, and I was going to give them all the bang for the buck I could muster.

Vanessa and I had been in a holding pattern regarding the future since we'd lost the election, but we had been combing through the house to discard things we'd held onto for too long as we prepared the house to sell. I'd finally convinced her to consider filing for divorce, but she refused to kick me out, for which I was secretly grateful. Regardless of the outcome, we agreed we didn't need the two-story house in Great Falls.

Jay had left the day after the election to go back to school, skillfully avoiding any conversations with me. I was relieved to have dodged his questions for a little longer, but thankfully, he had started calling Vani to talk to her.

Mario was running the Senate office, notifying me when it was time for a vote in the chamber. One good thing about the clusterfuck was that I could finally vote my conscience instead of what my party expected of me. There was no one trying to make a deal with me to support their piece of legislation in exchange for supporting something I was trying to do. I was political poison—not surprisingly.

Everything I'd recently submitted to the Speaker's Office for consideration had miraculously disappeared, and that was that. I was the lamest duck on the pond.

It was the week before we adjourned for the holidays—my last week as one of the senators from Virginia, and I was busy cleaning out my office, sending records to the archives and shredding anything personal I found, which wasn't much.

I had ordered boxes to pack my things so I could send them to the house, which I was expecting at any moment, so when there was a knock on the door after regular office hours, I called out, "It's open."

I glanced up to see one of my former college interns standing in the doorway, and I was shocked. Clearly, she didn't know not to be seen talking to me. It would be a detriment to any career aspirations she might have.

"Miss Renfro, what can I do for you?" The young woman's familiar smile was a comfort in the strangest way.

Ava Renfro was a beautiful young woman. She'd interned for me a few years earlier, and she was now working for the Congressional Liaison's Office of the Library of Congress, or so I thought. I'd given her a glowing recommendation when I was contacted by one of the recruiters, and I had heard through the grapevine she was highly valued in her job.

"Senator Brady, sir, I wanted to pass along how sorry I was that you lost the election. I voted for you, as did my folks." It was kind of her to say.

Ava lived in Arlington and had graduated near the top of her class at George Washington University. I'd met her folks once when Vani and I went to dinner at a Thai place in Arlington Forest, and the Renfros were waiting for a table. They seemed like nice WASPs, so it was surprising they voted for the newly outed gay senator from Virginia.

"I appreciate it, and I'm sorry I let all of you down. Please, take a seat and tell me how you're doing." I rose from my seat and walked around the desk, moving the guest chair so I could face her.

Ava sat, a nervous smile on her face. "I'm doing well, sir. I'm leaving the Library of Congress at the end of the year to work for Fitzpatrick and Associates." I nodded, not surprised by the news at all.

Sean Fitzpatrick was a self-made success story in the tech world before selling his dating app— Love Under the Rainbow —to one of the big social media conglomerates. He became an advocate and lobbyist on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community to push for equal rights and protections afforded to every American except for those under the rainbow.

Sean had taken DC by storm, and he was well liked by folks on both sides of the aisle. I'd met with him many times over my years in the Senate, and he'd been a staunch supporter of my campaigns—even the one I'd recently lost.

I was concerned by Ava's visit, remembering Sean hadn't reached out to me since the election. Since I'd been caught having a gay tryst with a reporter—a reporter I'd met at a party he'd hosted—the guy was probably cutting his ties with me because of the scandal, as he should to maintain his credibility. God knew, I'd lost all of mine.

"Oh, that's great. Sean's a really nice guy and whip smart. I'm sure you'll learn a lot from him and be happy there."

"Sean asked me to drop by to give you this." She offered an envelope with Senator and Mrs. Brady scrawled across the front in fancy calligraphy. Before I could open it, she spoke again. "He asks that you and your wife come to his birthday party next Monday night. He wants to speak with you in person." My interest was piqued.

"Do you know why?" The nerves in my gut balled into a knot as I tossed the envelope on my desk.

Ava's face flushed. "He told me to say it had something to do with Antigua."

I exhaled, trying to reason out why Sean Fitzpatrick would want to talk to me about the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me. If he wanted to further exploit my fucking humiliation, his goal was obvious.

"Uh, yeah. So, tell Mr. Fitzpatrick that I'll take a pass, but I wish him…" I instantly had a speech prepared in my brain before she pulled out her cell phone and handed it to me. I didn't see her touch the damn thing at all.

"Hell—hello?"

"Senator Brady? It's Sean Fitzpatrick. I have information you need to hear, so don't give young Ava a problem, and tell her you agree to come to my party. Her employment depends on your attendance." Was he threatening me with the girl's job? I was fucking stunned.

"How so? Not going to hire Ava if I don't show at your damn birthday party? That's a bit childish, isn't it? Oh, and that breaks about six of the workplace harassment and discrimination laws."

"Ava, pull up the guest list for Senator Brady, will you?"

Ava took the phone and pressed the screen a few times, turning it back to me. I glanced down the list of names, recognizing most of them, but one stood out. "Seriously? When did you become acquainted with him?" Fitzpatrick knew exactly who I was referring to.

"Cock of the Walk on I Street. He was cruising, I swear on my homophobic brother's grave. We talked for a few minutes, and we've had lunch a few times. He told me you were going to Antigua with your latest fuck buddy. Wonder who else he told?" Fitzpatrick teased, catching me by surprise.

I took a deep breath and made a decision. "I'll be there."

Who knew I was so eager to go to a fortieth birthday party? Not this fucking idiot, but I was going. I had plenty of questions to ask.

"Who has a damn birthday party on a Monday night?" Vani climbed into the sedan I'd secured for our impromptu appearance out on the town.

I wasn't going without her. I had no idea what Fitzpatrick's game might be, but I was taking my best weapon in case it was all a ruse to demean me again. Yes, my ego was beaten to hell, but the chance to find out why a man I'd believed was straight for years was cruising a well-known gay bar was too tempting to pass up.

"If that's a riddle, I give up. The real answer is a narcissistic lobbyist who can demand people be wherever he wants them to be on any night of his choosing. You look fabulous, by the way! Remember, all the men here are gay, so don't get your heart broken." It was better to joke about it than continue to seethe.

Vani laughed. "You as well, darling." We stepped out of the car in front of the Four Seasons Hotel in Georgetown, which was the venue of the soiree.

"Don't forget, I'm unaffected by handsome men or beautiful women. I'm asexual, remember?" That was something she'd learned about herself during her therapy.

I could heartily agree that accepting one's true self was liberating, and Vani was certainly coming into her own. I was so proud of her that I was busting buttons.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "You're the best, Vani."

We followed the fancy sign in the lobby up the escalator where a handsome guy directed us to a small man with a clipboard and an attitude. We approached him, and I offered a campaign smile. "Senator and Mrs. Brady." I said it as if it still meant something.

" Mmhmm. " The asshole had a pompous smirk that made me laugh. I wouldn't be able to use the title much longer in any official capacity, so I might as well use it while I could.

Vani and I watched him peruse the list, and then he fixed his gaze on us, offering a big grin. "Oh, you're him ? Well, well, aren't you a tasty treat? Table eight. Have a great time." The guy even gave me a wink.

"So, is he your type?" Vani smirked as we walked into the ballroom to see a scene that should never have happened at any birthday party. The room was decorated with anything and everything black.

"Don't be a smartass, you know he's not, and is this a fortieth party? Jesus, did he agree to this or is it a roast of some sort?" We walked farther into the room and took our place on the peripheral as hors d'oeuvres were passed.

"Good evening, Senator. Mrs. Brady, it's a pleasure to meet you. You're quite lovely," Sean Fitzpatrick greeted as he worked the room. He was alone, but he seemed happy and relaxed. Maybe I could be that way too, someday?