24. Spencer

CHAPTER 24

SPENCER

With Nash's return, the plans for cooking were back on, and even though Vani had bought some premade sides, Nash made a few dishes to add to the feast. Cole even helped him, which was great.

Vani and I sat at the table watching the two of them cook while Jay cleaned up after them. It was amazing that we all seemed to hit it off easily as we did, and I looked forward to more festive times with my family, which now included Nash and possibly Cole, if he and Jay lasted. They seemed to love each other, but they were young. It remained to be seen.

Vani turned to me and smiled, "This is nice, huh?"

I placed my hand over hers, squeezing for a moment. "It is. You'll come back to see us, right? When do I need to be out? Are you listing it, or do you want someone else to do it?" I was referring to the house.

We'd been moving in that direction, and in the divorce papers, we agreed to sell it and split the profit. She had contractors scheduled to begin painting and doing minor repairs after the first of the year, but I wasn't sure of the timeline.

Vani giggled softly. "I'd say you should buy me out, but this house has a lot of memories, so maybe it's for the best that we do sell it? Any idea where you want to live? I can get you some listings. The contractor doesn't start until the tenth of January, so you could find a place and get out before construction starts."

Jay turned from his place by the sink. "Who's taking my stuff?"

"Well, let's discuss it. I know this might not be the best timing, but I plan to get a place with a few bedrooms, so I can take your furniture until you have a place of your own."

Vani moved her hand and walked over to Jay. "My place in the Upper East Side has two bedrooms, and I'll buy furniture. You'll have a place to sleep when you come see me." She hugged around his middle as he held a skillet in his hands in the dishwater.

Jay dropped the pan and reached for the towel over his shoulder. "Mom, just get a pullout couch, okay? Make the room into a den, and I can sleep there when I visit. It's gonna be alright. We're still a family, you know." Jay's reminder was a relief.

Nash stood at the stove, a worried look on his handsome face. "Okay, no talk of moving and shit. We need to open gifts, and are you people ever going to get some food on the table?" I tried to lighten the mood before we all ended up in tears.

Nash laughed, which made my heart sing. "Alright, cranky. I think it's ready. We just need some serving dishes." He looked at me, so I got up and started opening cabinets to find whatever was handy to put the food in so we could eat.

"Spencer, go to the butler's pantry— Ugh! Come with me." I followed Vani into that strange room between the kitchen and the dining room where I never went.

I watched her open cabinets and drawers, handing me various dishes, cloth napkins, and placemats. She turned to me with a smile. "Should we eat in the kitchen? I don't want to be formal, do you?"

I stared at her, certain there was a look of disbelief on my face. "I think the time for formal has flown right out the window." I laughed hard at my joke and pointed to all the stuff in the cabinet. "You're taking all of this, right?"

"I'm not talking about that today." Vani loaded another platter onto the stack of shit I was already carrying.

I followed her to the kitchen where we placed everything on the island like an assembly line, or a buffet, as Vanessa schooled us. Nash and Cole placed the food in the serving dishes, Vani set the table, and Jay took the pots and pans to the sink to soak. Like always, I watched.

Once the food was set up, we all filled our plates. The variety of dishes was surprising, but I figured I could work off the food since I didn't start consulting until the first week of January. I was planning to eat everything in sight and as much as I wanted.

Once we were all seated at the table, I looked around to see the faces of people I loved, or in Cole's case, cared about. Most Christmases it was Vani, Jay, and me sitting at the dining room table with a catered meal served by people we didn't know. The relief of having something normal was overwhelming.

Nash filled our wine glasses and took a seat next to me, and I felt the need to say something. I started to tap my knife against the water glass to get everyone's attention, but there were only five of us. "If you'll give me a minute, I want to make a quick speech. I guess not getting to stand at the podium in the chamber has spoiled me, but I won't pontificate for long.

"I'd like to make a toast to Vani and Jay. We've had a hell of a year, and here we are, still standing. To Cole, we are so happy to have you join us. I'll feel better when you get that cast off, but I'm glad you're here with Jay to celebrate with us.

"Last, but certainly not least, to Nash. You fit into our family like a hand in a glove, and I'm grateful to have you. I love you all, and I wish us the happiest of New Year's! Here's to us." We all touched glasses, wishing each other a Merry Christmas.

We laughed, we ate, we bonded, all of us. It was exactly what I wanted the holiday to be—time spent with those people who meant the most to me.

Leaning against the headboard of the bed, I admired the new health and fitness tracker Jay and Vani had given me for Christmas. I pushed the buttons on the side to see what they did as I glanced through the small brochure that accompanied it. It was a thoughtful gift.

Nash bought me winter running gear—a base layer, ear warming headband, insulated gloves, and a thermal beanie. I smelled a theme among my family, but it was given with love, I was sure.

"What's taking so long?"

Nash was in the bathroom, but I wasn't sure what he was doing. I'd given him a watch and smartphone on my account, and I was going to talk to him about our housing needs. As far as I was concerned, we'd already crossed the hurdle of us living together. All we needed to do was find a place that was convenient to both our jobs, though I was hoping Sean would come through with a job for my guy.

Nash stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of flannel lounge pants from my drawer. I loved seeing him in my clothes. "You okay?" The expression on his face had me worried.

Nash sat on the edge of the bed and faced me. "I have something to tell you, and it's bad, Spence. I love you, and I'd rather cut off an arm than hurt you. I've been trying to figure out the best time to tell you what The Volunteers found about you being outed."

I held out my hand for him to come closer, but he didn't move. "There's nothing you can tell me that will come between us, Nash, I promise."

The expression I saw was skeptical, so I crawled to the end of the bed and took his hand. "Tell me. I can't fix anything if I don't know what's broken."

Nash scooted closer. "Babe, it's not something you can fix. It's done. I hate that I'm the one who has to tell you this."

After a deep breath, I took his hand and kissed it. "Just tell me, Nash."

"I had Pacman—a guy from the club—continue tracking the money from Mitch Flora's account. It went through him to an offshore account and led to the people behind the pictures. The source of the money was from someone you know, Spencer."

I knew a lot of people, so I wasn't surprised. "Tell me it's not Mario."

Nash gave me a sad smile. "No. It's not Mario. Blaire was involved, but it wasn't him either. The money started with... It was your parents."

For a moment, I couldn't breathe. My parents? My fucking parents?

I swallowed. "Are you saying that Ron and Hillary had me followed, photographed, and leaked those pictures to the press? My own parents did this to me?"

Nash unlocked his old phone and handed it to me. The screen was small, but the information was huge. I scrolled through the various charts he pointed out, and when I got to the head of the snake, my parents' names were there... not surprisingly... in red.

"Motherfucking son of a— Why am I surprised?" I sat there, paralyzed, as my mind tried to process the information.

Nash took his phone and tossed it on the bed. "I'm sorry, Spencer. I hoped it would be someone else. Maybe Pacman got it wrong?"

I glanced at Nash... the beautiful man who held my heart. "I doubt it. This is exactly something my parents would do. Are you okay being connected to me when we start going out in public together?"

Nash stood and paced. "Spencer, I should leave. I can find work somewhere else. I can't take you down, babe."

"You can't... What the hell do you mean, Nash?"

"I mean, I'm going to leave town. I want you to have a great life, Spence. I can't be the reason you're not respected after the way your parents had you outed. I won't contribute to you not getting your life back."

Was he serious? "Where are you going? You can't leave, Nash. I need you."

"You need me ? No, Spence. You need Vani and your family. I wish I could be a part of it, but I'm nothing but trouble for you. As you said, the city has a short memory. Me with my history? You don't need a revolving scandal when your enemies find out I slept with some of them, and they need ammunition against you for one reason or another. If I leave before anyone finds out we're together, then I take that stigma with me."

"Stigma? The stigma of finding a handsome man and falling in love? There's no stigma to that. Goddammit, Nash. I need you . I'll accept all your secrets and mistakes and successes, and I want you to do the same for me. I was a US Senator. Do you think I don't have skeletons in my closet? Please don't walk away from me." Now I was begging, but what the hell else could I do?

I'd crawl across broken glass to keep Nash Lincoln. He was the key to my future, and I was sure of it.