15. Spencer

CHAPTER 15

SPENCER

The first week of December, I went to my Senate suite to finish cleaning out my office and files. The space where I'd spent twelve years of my legislative life no longer felt like mine, and the realization of it brought an unsettled feeling. It seemed as if my future was becoming less and less certain, and I had no idea what to do about it.

Hell, I wasn't even fifty yet, so retirement was out of the question. Finding another position within the government wouldn't come easy, but I wasn't about to dip into my inheritance. I was keeping that money for Vani and Jay in case something ever happened to me.

A government worker's salary, no matter what anyone thought, wasn't great, and the DMV—DC-Maryland-Virginia—area was far from a low-cost area of the country. My grandparents had left me a nest egg, and I'd invested it and added to it when I was practicing law.

It was finally something I could be proud to leave behind for those I loved, so I wasn't about to dip into it to support Vani and me. I was perfectly able to go back to private practice, especially since she was currently out of a job. I could take care of us.

I was cleaning out the bookcase in my office when Mario barreled inside without invitation. I didn't really care, but he'd never done it before, so why now?

"Hey, Mario. What's up?" I paged through the various law books and copies of the Federal Register belonging to the Senate library that I'd kept in my office, ensuring I hadn't inadvertently left any handwritten notes inside as I prepared to return them.

"I got a call from a man named Denver Wallace. He said he's a friend of yours, and he has evidence pointing to a mole in our camp. He's downstairs, unable to come up because of security, but he wants us to meet him across the street. I'm perplexed."

I looked up to see Mario was, indeed, puzzled. "Did he give you any hints about who it is?"

"No, but he said not to bring anyone with us—just you and me."

I nodded and stood from my desk, pulling on my jacket. It was nearly lunchtime anyway, so I was at a good point to take a break.

"I'm starving, and after I leave this building for the last time, I damn well won't come back here, so can you ask someone to call over to O'Toole's to see if we can get the private room?"

Mario rolled his eyes but grabbed his cell, speaking on the phone as I tightened my tie and checked my hair in the mirror behind the door. I glanced out the window to see it was spitting snow, so I retrieved my overcoat and turned to Mario. "You coming with me?"

He finished his conversation requesting the private room, glancing in my direction with the exasperating look I'd grown accustomed to over time. "Give me a damn minute." He left my office and stomped through the bullpen, bringing a chuckle from me.

I scanned the room outside my office where my loyal staffers worked, having stuck with me after the scandal broke. I was grateful to each one of them.

Mitchell Flora had the desk phone receiver to his ear in his office. He was staring out of the glass wall at the young woman who sat at the desk outside his door, unhappiness evident on his face.

I glanced at her to see she was pregnant, and I didn't remember any of my staffers being pregnant, but that was when I saw she wasn't the same assistant Mitch had a few weeks earlier. The old one was named Lori Warren. The pregnant young woman sitting at the desk wasn't the blonde who used to walk around the office talking to herself.

I walked out of my office and into Mario's. "Who's the girl at Lori's desk?"

Mario looked out as he logged off his laptop and closed the lid. "Uh, she's from the assistant's pool. Lori quit just before Thanksgiving. She and Mitch had a falling out, or so the rumor mill churned out. Anyway, I got the room at O'Toole's, so let's go get your friend and get a move on. I need a drink." I chuckled and followed him out of the office.

We took the elevator to the lobby and walked out into the December sunshine to find the large man leaning against a pillar at the base of the stairs, smoking a cigar. I glanced at the people walking by to see their faces screwed up in disgust.

Based on the way Denver Wallace was blowing smoke in their faces, it was quite evident he didn't give a flying fuck if they liked it or not. I laughed, liking the guy for his "fuck you" attitude to the snobs on the Hill.

I glanced in Mario's direction, seeing his face was screwed up into a scowl before he turned to look at me for an explanation. "He's a new acquaintance, so don't piss him off. I'm sure he could take the two of us apart with his bare hands," I whispered as we approached.

When Denver saw us, he smiled and lifted his boot-clad foot, knocking off the ember from the end of the cigar. I saw him touch his thumb to the tip before depositing it into a long plastic cylinder and returning it to the pocket of his leather coat.

"Is he from the Matrix?" Mario joked as we made our way down the stairs.

"You better hope not, or he heard that and he's going to kill us both. Play nice." We stepped over to where the man was waiting patiently.

Denver gave Mario a stern look. "You think I look like Sam Jackson? Morpheus, I'm not. So, where are you going to buy me lunch, Senator?"

"Across the street." I pointed to the green pub with the stained-glass windows.

"Looks inviting. Shall we?" Denver responded as he headed toward the crosswalk and pressed the button for the light.

"So, uh, Mr. Wallace, how do you know the Senator?" Mario was as transparent as a pane of glass. I smirked, waiting for how Denver would answer the question.

Wallace chuckled. "He's got the hots for someone important to me, and I'm here to save his ass." It was concise, but not quite accurate. The fact I was probably in love with Nash wasn't anything I was about to share with my two guests. Those words were something I needed to consider, and eventually share with the man, himself, before I put it out there for public consumption. I also had Vani's feelings to consider. We were still married, after all.

My companions and I walked into the pub, and Erin was waiting for us with a sweet smile on her round, freckled face. "Gents, we've missed ye. This way." She took us around the bar and into one of the private booth areas, standing aside so the three of us could take a seat.

She handed out menus. "Today's entree special is shepherd's pie. We have Welsh rarebit for the daily appetizer, and for dessert, we have an Irish cream pie. What can I bring ye to drink?"

Not surprisingly, Denver was the first to respond. "I'll have a stout and a shot of Jameson."

I sighed. "I'll have a Glenlivet on the rocks, and Mario will have a Crown neat," I ordered. Erin nodded and left the room, pulling the pocket doors closed behind her.

I turned my gaze to Denver Wallace. "So, what's new since the last time you terrorized me?" I made a quasi-joke, while giving him the full force of my penetrating stare.

The big man didn't even flinch, instead laughing at my futile attempt at exuding authority over him. "Does that ever work?"

I chuckled with him, and finally, Mario loosened up enough to laugh with us, seeming eager to embarrass me. "It actually does sometimes, but not often enough that it's a trademark for him. So, please, Mr. Wallace, I'm dying to know how you and Spence know each other."

"Little brother asked me to look into your issue. We've been tracking the transaction for almost a month, and I'm afraid I have some very bad news for you, Senator." Denver stared at the two of us as the door opened and Erin popped in with our drinks.

The young woman's timing was perfect, because I wasn't ready to hear about one of my trusted staff members spying on me and reporting it to the press. After I took a sip of my scotch, I exhaled as the liquor made its way to my gut, loosening my nerves.

I hoped it helped me not have a shouting fit right there in the pub, especially since I'd seen several reporters sitting in the main dining room.

"Okay, I'm ready. Shoot."

Denver nodded and pulled out a tablet from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. After pecking it a few times, he tapped on something, and when he was satisfied with what he had, he handed the device to me.

I glanced at the screen to see a bank statement dated March 1 of that year. I scrolled up to see it was for an account owned by Mitch Flora, and I noticed there were regular deposits into his account for five-thousand dollars a week, starting around the same time I'd announced my intent to run for a third term.

"Okay, uh, do we know who made the deposits?" I handed the tablet back to Denver. He flipped the cover closed and shoved it back into the pocket of his coat.

"We're working on it. I thought maybe you'd want to deal with a traitor before you leave office. We're tracking the deposits, but they don't originate in the US, so that becomes a little trickier. I wanted you to know I wouldn't do this for any other lying bastard in any office of the government. I think you're all pieces of shit, but my good friend thinks you're a good man, so I'll follow through on this because of him." Wallace didn't beat around the bush.

I was shocked at his comments, but really, I shouldn't have been. He was a no-nonsense kind of guy, and that, I could appreciate in any man. I didn't like being dicked around either. Life was too short for that bullshit.

I needed to talk to Nash, and not just through text or on the phone. I wanted to see him in person because I wanted to hug him for asking his friend to help me out. My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I pulled it out to see a text from Vani.

Come home soon, please. We're having company for dinner. I'm thawing a tenderloin for you to put on the grill.

I noticed Wallace looking at my phone and smirking at the message on the screen, likely wondering what the hell was my deal. I'd leave it to Nash to explain it if we ever got together.

Just then, the doors opened and a food runner accompanying Erin stood with a large tray outside the pocket doors. Before she could put the plate down in front of me, Denver looked at Erin and grinned. "I believe the Senator needs to leave us. Could you put his lunch into a box to go?"

Wallace shot back his Jameson's and winked. "I believe Mario and I will eat here. Get to know each other."

I glanced at my friend and saw his face flush before he nodded enthusiastically. I held the laugh, and I left the two of them in the private room, following Erin to the bar where she boxed up my food.

I paid the check for our lunch and gave her a healthy tip. "I'd knock before I went in there, if I were you." I laughed as I signed the check and grabbed the bag with my lunch.

It was a surprising turn of events, and I hoped to hell Mario enjoyed himself, the lucky bastard. I was so damn horny I was about to pop.

After I arrived home, I let myself into the house through the front door. "Vani!"

The idea that Mitch Flora had betrayed me—and his NDA—clung to me like cheap cologne. I needed to talk it out with Vanessa, and I desperately wanted to talk to Nash.

I hoped he would agree to meet me somewhere after Vani's unknown dinner guests left, but I wouldn't ask him yet. I had no idea what the evening had in store.

Vani waltzed into the kitchen where I was sorting the mail, a mischievous smile on her pretty face. I could see she was dressed casually, which was a relief. "How was your day?"

I opened the electric bill, perused the amount owed, and cursed the state, county, and local taxes included before stacking it with the rest of the bills to go into the queue for payment.

"Good. Cleaned out my desk at the office and told Tom Parks to fuck himself. How about you?" Tom had been her boss at Parks Realty located in Tyson's Corner.

"I found my leak—it's Mitch." I tore up a few catalogues and some junk mail before turning to see my wife staring at me, a concerned smile taking the place of her previous happy one.

"Oh, Spence! That's horrible. Do you think he was behind the photographer showing up in Antigua?"

Vani articulated what had been running through my mind since I'd heard the news earlier. We'd discussed the situation in depth—and to death—trying to figure out who the leaker could be. Mitch had never crossed my mind.

Why would he do that? What would Mitch have to gain by leaking my personal business? What the hell had I done to him that would push him to take the step of betraying me? How the fuck did he even find out I was gay?

Mitchell Flora had worked his way around Capitol Hill since he'd arrived in DC. He'd graduated from The Ohio State University with honors, and he had held several positions in various offices on the Hill before he came to work for me after one of my father's former college friends from UVA recommended him when my previous communications director left me to have a baby.

Tina Hinson was a real pro at her job, and she'd asked around about Mitch, only hearing great things through the grapevine.

I'd hired Mitch based on Judge Blackwell's recommendation—and a background check, other than what was required to confirm the security clearance he already held.

Yet again, I was a na?ve dumbass who trusted people to treat me the way I always tried to treat others. How much of a fucking country bumpkin could I be?

"What are you going to do?" Vani asked as she made us drinks, pulling a third glass from the cabinet. I noticed a stack of collapsed boxes in the corner of the kitchen, leaning against the wall.

We were planning to paint the house, but I didn't think we'd need that many boxes to pack up things to make room for painters. Eventually, we'd move somewhere else so we could sell the house, but we hadn't discussed it in detail because everything was still a mess in both of our heads.

"I'll call Mario tomorrow. I think he has a date tonight with Denver, Nash's friend."

The garage door began churning open, so I looked at Vani to see she seemed nervous. "Is that Jay?" I hoped my son had come home for an impromptu visit. I missed him.

"No. It's Nash. I, uh, I need to talk to you, Spence, and I asked him to come out for dinner. I think we both need his support, especially now." Vani's clarification had me totally confused.

The back door opened as the garage door closed, and I turned to see Nash Lincoln, the beautiful man I'd missed more than my own heart. He had a bottle of wine in his hand, and his scent took up space in the room like a new kind of air.

Without thought, I walked over to him and took him in my arms, feeling him return the hug. I inhaled deeply and felt myself relaxing for the first time in days, thanking whatever circumstance that brought him to our home. It was a blessing.

I pulled away and smiled at him before the sound of a sniffle caught my attention. I stepped away from Nash and saw the happy smile on Vani's face had returned as the tears fell down her cheeks.

Whatever was going on with her had me worried, but when Nash put his arm around my shoulder and settled his large hand on my neck, the tension in my body released. With his support, I was ready for whatever was coming my way.

I turned back to Nash and kissed the end of his nose. "How've you been? I've missed you." Thankfully, the gorgeous man leaned forward and brushed a kiss against my lips.

"I'm here if you need me. Vani invited me for dinner." Nash's comment made me wonder what he knew that clearly I didn't.

"Yes, uh, Nash, dear, let me make you a drink. What can I get for you?" Vani gave him a big smile.

"Bourbon neat." I helped him take off his leather jacket and took it to the hallway. Before I hung it up, I took a strong sniff of it. It carried his intoxicating scent, which had my dick thickening quickly in my unforgiving slacks.

"I'm gonna run upstairs to change. I'll be back." I rushed up the staircase to my room, closing the door before I hurried into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face so I could calm down—and hopefully, get my dick to follow suit.

I wasn't sure why Vani had called Nash to come over, but it must have been for a good reason. No matter what, I was fucking glad he was there. I quickly changed into jeans and a long-sleeved Henley before I slid on a pair of loafers and started for the stairs.

"Have you told him yet?" Nash's voice carried enough that I heard him from my spot on the stairs.

I crept down to the bottom in time to hear Vanessa giggle. "No way. I was waiting for you."

"What difference does it make if I'm here? It won't change the fact you're leaving town, will it?" Nash's comment hit me like a slap in the face.

My gut dropped to my feet. Vani was leaving town? Where the fuck was she going? Was Nash going with her?

"Nash, seriously, he loves you. It's going to be an adjustment for all of us, but it's time we untangled our lives. I'm so happy he'll have you to count on," Vani responded.

There was a lot packed into that comment, but there was a kernel of truth, so I stomped down the hallway and joined them in the kitchen, ready to make my declaration.

If Vani was ready to strike out on her own, I wouldn't stop her. I loved her and only wanted the best for her. I stepped toward Nash, keeping a bit of distance between us so he knew I was serious.

"She's not wrong, you know. I do love you." Vani's soft laugh made me grin.

My insides were on fire for the man, but everything had to happen in the correct order. I couldn't bear it if either of them were tainted by my previous mistakes.

Nash seemed flustered at my honesty, so I quickly added, "It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I think it's important that all the cards are on the table. If you want to walk away, I won't stop you."

I then turned to my best friend. "So, Vani, where are you going, love?"

I didn't expect Nash to take my hand and lead me to the table, pulling out a chair for me before standing behind me with his large hands—which I was dying to have wrapped around my cock—resting on my shoulders.

Vani was staring at him, and after a minute, Nash's fingers began massaging me. My wife nodded before she sat at the table and took my hand, both of their behaviors making me nervous.

"I love you, Spence. You've been so amazing to me in all the years we've been together, and you'll always be my best friend. I think it's time we went our separate ways." Her voice held the air of finality. I admired her guts to pull the trigger first.

For me, there was no need to argue, but I was curious what she expected me to say. I'd told her back in August to get in touch with Bertram Lloyd, a friend of my parents who was a top-notch divorce attorney. "Um, okay?" I responded, unsure why she was being so dramatic.

"She's moving to New York," Nash whispered before he kissed the top of my head.

It didn't make sense. I turned to look at him, "How'd you know it before me?"

I saw the guilty look on Nash's face, so I glanced at Vani. "Really? You couldn't tell me this without backup?"

"I was worried you'd overreact to the news I was leaving, and I know you're holding back on making plans because of me. I want you to move forward with your life as well, Spencer."

I stood, turning to Nash. "I'm glad you're here. Could you start the grill?" He nodded and walked out of the house without looking back.

"So, you called Nash to come here to soften the blow? Why? I love you, and I only want the best for you, Vani. I'm so sorry I can't be what you need." I was hurt she didn't think I'd support her decision.

We'd been through so much over the years, and I knew I was never going to be the person she needed, but I kept trying, clearly never succeeding. The fact she didn't feel she could talk to me without someone there for backup hurt a lot more than I wanted to admit.

Vani hugged me. "Spencer, you've been an incredible friend and husband. It's not that you didn't do everything right, dear one. We needed each other until we figured out we needed someone else."

I took a deep breath, exhaling before I asked the question. "Did you find someone else?"

Vani stepped back, sniffling before she totally pulled away, her beautiful eyes full of tears. "Yes, I did. Spence, I found me ! I've only ever needed me , but I've just figured it out for myself. You gave me the time and space to work through all my issues, and for that, I'll always love you. You're a wonderful man, and I think you've finally found what you need." She pointed to where Nash stood on the deck trying to figure out how to light the grill.

"Right now, he's worrying about how you'll feel when I move, and I'm a little worried myself. We're codependent, Spence, and it's time for us to choose other paths. Go help him figure out the grill. He wants to make you happy. It's beautiful." Vani handed me the fire wand and pushed me outside.

I walked out onto the deck, not sure how I felt about the turn of events. Maybe Vanessa expected me to be much more upset, but since I'd met Nash Lincoln, he'd filled my thoughts day and night.

I sensed Vani understood it—maybe better than me. I had to learn how to adjust to her striking out on her own.

"Here. You need this." I offered him the blue wand to light the fire.

The autoignition had stopped working the previous summer, and I should have probably had someone come out to look at the grill, but I'd been busy doing the people's work. Now? I had nobody's work to do but my own.

"Oh, was I doing it wrong?" Nash stepped back from the grill; his expression worried.

I exhaled. "No, sweetheart, I don't think you could ever do anything wrong. The automatic starter broke last summer, and I didn't get it fixed. Now, you just turn on the gas and use this thing to light the pilot."

Nash nodded as I turned off the gas and handed him the wand. He mimicked my movements, and when the pilot caught, he looked at me with a triumphant grin. "I've never used a grill before. Do you use it a lot?"

I laughed. "I've been out here in rain and snow grilling stuff. Stick with me, kid. I'll show you all the tricks." I leaned forward and kissed his temple. He didn't move away, and my heart grew wings.

"So, uh, what are we cooking?" Nash asked, watching me close the lid to allow the grill to heat.

I wanted to haul him upstairs and show him the fire my soul felt for him, but I respected his boundary—nothing until I wasn't married any longer.

Would Vani's filing for divorce count? I had no doubt Vanessa and I would remain the best of friends, but would Nash stick around to see it through? That was the bigger question.