Chapter Forty-One

March 2018

The paint on Mandy's canvas blended together like an intricately woven fabric. As soon as the last box had been brought into her new apartment, this was the first room she set up. It wasn't as large as the space in the back of her parents' garage, but the lighting was great—especially in the early morning—and she could come in there whenever her art called to her, which was often those days.

As she mixed the colors on her palette to create the perfect shade, Mandy couldn't help thinking about the first time she painted.

Although she had been eyeing the painting center for days, she hesitated to give it a try. Mandy never painted at home. Mom thought it was too messy. But that day her teacher encouraged her to give it a try, so Mandy carefully put on her apron and stood in front of the ashy white paper. All sorts of colors were lined up under the large blank page, and Mandy immediately knew what she wanted to paint.

She started at the top with red and created a big arch that began at the bottom of the left edge and went all the way to the bottom right. But she used a little too much, so it was now dripping down. Mandy quickly rinsed the brush to put on the orange, but she didn't get all the red out, and then when she smeared the orange paint across the page, the colors melded together, leaving only a little that was just red at the top and a little just orange.

It was awful. She tried to use more orange, but that made it too thick. Mandy was no good at this at all. And when she got to yellow, she just made it all worse. Rainbows were seven perfect colors, but hers all kind of blended from one to the next. Tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Wow, that's beautiful," a small voice said behind her.

Mandy turned to find a girl she hadn't seen before in her class standing there with her teacher.

"Mandy, this is Marisa, she's new to our class."

"Hi," Marisa said, then dipped her chin to her chest, where she had on a rainbow T-shirt with a unicorn.

"I love your shirt," Mandy said. "I have a stuffed unicorn that my dad brought home for me after one of his trips. He works a lot and so he's not always home, and he always gets me a present and once he got me a unicorn that looks just like that." Mandy pointed to Marisa's shirt.

Marisa glanced up and smiled.

"Do you want to paint with me? You could make the unicorn and well…I could try to make the rainbow?" Mandy glanced at the empty easel next to her.

"I won't be as good as you are," Marisa said.

"I'll leave you two girls to it." Their teacher walked away.

Mandy's cheeks got hot. It was a really bad rainbow. "I can start over—"

"No!" Marisa's voice got loud. "It's perfect. How did you make the paint do that?"

Mandy glanced at her painting and back to Marisa. "You like it?"

"I think it's the most beautiful painting I've ever seen. It looks like a real rainbow."

Mandy's chest swelled.

"You are a very talented artist," Marisa said.

"I can show you," Mandy said and held out a clean brush.

Marisa grabbed the apron hanging off the empty easel, tied it on, and took the brush from Mandy. "You can call me Isa if you want."

"Are you almost ready?" Isa stuck her head into Mandy's painting room, bringing her back to her current art project.

"Yeah, just let me clean up real quick."

No one ever mentioned how much of one's adult life was spent at the grocery store. And there weren't usually many different grocery stores, it was usually just one. The same one that was closest to home, even if it didn't have exactly everything you needed, and there was a much better store just a few miles farther away, but that seemed too far most of the time. Okay, all of the time. So week after week, you've done the same thing, and walked up and down the same aisle, picking out the same items. There was nothing particularly spectacular or glamorous about the grocery store. It was just a necessity.

The only nice thing about being in the grocery store that day was that Isa was there with Mandy. Ever since Isa had opened up her own practice, Mandy hardly got to see her. But it wouldn't be like that forever. Once it was established, and all the kinks worked out, it meant Isa would have more time. It meant Isa could set her own terms and treat her patients the way she wanted. No more answering to a misogynistic boss who thought he knew better. It meant Isa wouldn't be as stressed, which, in turn, meant less stress for Mandy too.

As soon as Isa had gotten back from Mexico, they moved in together. A two-bedroom not far from the hospital Isa had been working at or from Mandy's job at the marketing firm. It wasn't anything fancy, but it suited them fine, with just enough room for Mandy's parents and Sandy to come for dinner every now and then.

Later that evening would be one of those occasions—hence the need to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things.

Isa pushed the cart while Mandy picked items off the shelves from here and there. It was nice not having to be the one to maneuver that thing, even if the store was less crowded than Mandy's usual shopping day. Without fail Mandy always seemed to get the cart with the broken wheel—were they all broken? So instead of turning, she'd have to slide it over and pivot it whichever way she wanted to go. But by some miracle, Isa found what had to be the only cart in the store with four working wheels, and effortlessly steered the thing from place to place. There had to be a way to mark it so Mandy could find it next time she came back on her own.

"You know, this would be easier if you brought the list," Isa said as she stood next to Mandy and studied the cereal options. Mandy had slowly been working her way through them, from one end of the aisle to the other. Today she selected something called Peeps cereal—it had marshmallows and probably more sugar than a can of soda, but at least if her morning coffee didn't wake her up, the sugar rush would. Isa, on the other hand, liked her usual box of Honey Nut Chex—which was right there on the bottom row, but Mandy liked making Isa search for it.

"I have the list. Right here." Mandy tapped her temple. That was another reason she likely had to go to the store so often. The list she kept on the refrigerator—the one that conveniently had Shopping List scrawled at the top in bold, black letters—somehow never seemed to end up in her purse when she went to the store, which inevitably led to her forgetting something and having to make multiple trips.

"Well, it's a good thing I brought this." Isa reached into the pocket of her oversized sweatpants and pulled the slip of paper out. For the last few weeks Isa had been wearing them everywhere when they went out. She said they were comfortable, and Mandy couldn't argue with that. And while they were a far cry from Isa's "work uniform"—slacks, a blouse, and usually some kind of small heel—Mandy also could admit that Isa looked adorable in them. But Isa looked adorable in everything.

"Why do you have to be so reasonable?" Mandy shook her head at Isa.

"For the same reason you're not." Isa leaned in and kissed Mandy.

While Isa was gone, they'd spent every moment on the phone, and then upon her return, it just made sense to try again. But to be fair, there wasn't much trying involved. Mandy and Isa always fit together. She was still the cheese to Mandy's macaroni. Not that things were always perfect. They weren't. And sometimes they fought. Like when Isa would forget to text if she was running late. Or when Mandy would leave painted fingerprints on the soap dispenser in the kitchen. And there was the inevitable argument from time to time about what to eat, but there was nothing they couldn't get over. They always worked things out.

"I don't understand why we can't just make spaghetti," Mandy said as she plucked lasagna noodles from the shelf.

"Because we always make spaghetti." Isa studied the label on a jar of sauce. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"You do know you're going to be eating this too. So if we mess it up—"

"If we mess it up, we'll run down the street and get tacos from Miquel."

Another good thing about their apartment was it introduced them to Miquel's Taco Cart—arguably the best tacos in Southern California. There was no doubt they reminded both Isa and Mandy of Abuela.

"Or we can get tacos to begin with. Or just make spaghetti," Mandy said.

Isa gave Mandy a look that said, You're being ridiculous and I love you so much , as she placed three different sauces into the cart. "Now for the garlic bread."

Mandy led the way to the bakery, where once again Isa had to consider all their options before choosing a French loaf and asking the bakery attendant to slice it in half for them. If Mandy had gone to the store herself, it would have taken a quarter the amount of time, but as annoyed as she was about the debate between French baguette or sourdough loaf, she liked being there with Isa. Today she wasn't just another woman alone at the store, she was a part of something more.

"We need bananas for the bananas Foster," Isa said.

"Wait. Since when are we making bananas Foster?" Mandy asked. "I'm not sure we should do anything with fire after the Thanksgiving incident last year." It seemed innocent enough, the package had come with strings to help lift the turkey out of the pan once it came out of the oven, but when Mandy had gone to take the bird out, one of those strings hit the heating coil at the bottom and whoosh . She'd never seen anything catch fire so quickly.

"It'll be fine," Isa assured her. "I got a special torch thingy."

"Well, if you have a thingy, I'm sure it'll be great."

Isa gave Mandy the very-funny look, and Mandy laughed at her own joke.

Luckily the produce section was right near the bakery, so there was a chance they could still get out of there before all their refrigerables spoiled.

"How about these?" Mandy held up a bunch of six bananas.

"No, the best ones are underneath." Isa bent down and started pawing through the boxes of bananas that hadn't already been set out. At this rate, they might be there all day.

Mandy put her bunch back.

"Check the list to make sure we got everything." Isa's hand appeared, a slip of paper clenched in it, and Mandy took it from her.

If they were going to remember the list, next time they should also bring a pen to check items off as they went along. As she visually marked off each thing, Mandy did have to admit that bringing the list was a lot more helpful than leaving it stuck to the refrigerator at home. "As soon as you pick out the best bananas the store has to offer, we're done." Mandy turned toward Isa, who still hadn't gotten up from the floor, but she was no longer searching through bananas. Isa was staring up at Mandy on one knee, holding a small box in her hand. Mandy's heart raced.

"I've been thinking a lot about how I was going to do this," Isa started. "I wanted it to be special because you're so special to me. And I wanted it to be memorable. But if I did it somewhere unique, you'd only think about this moment if you were there. And that's why I decided to do it here. So every time you come to the grocery store, you remember just how much I love you, and how even when we aren't together, I'm always thinking about you." Isa's beautiful brown eyes filled with tears. "Amanda Dean, will you marry me?"