Chapter Thirty-One

August 2007

How had Mandy ever enjoyed going to the mall? As a teen she would spend hours there with her friends trying on clothes they were never going to buy—the more hideous the better—and sampling things held on trays from food court workers in weird hats. Those days seemed so long ago now—a blur of ugly dresses, and Cinnabon, and McDonald's french fries with sweet and sour sauce—simpler times when homework, who kissed who, or who was caught smoking behind the gym were the only problems in the world.

Today the mall was packed, which was not unexpected with school starting up again for everyone. This year though, that included Mandy. She had finally done it. She applied to a few places and got into the art and design program—with a double major because of course Dad insisted—at USC. When the big envelope arrived in the mail, Mandy could hardly believe it. She had almost given up on the idea of college altogether until that time she and Isa and had spent at the beach. She had said Mandy was capable of anything—words Mom would say to her often—but the way Isa looked at her, the timbre in her voice, something clicked. Or kicked her in the ass. She wanted Isa to be proud of her; she needed to prove to her that she was capable of anything, because maybe just maybe it was the way Mandy could start to make things right between them again. Not like the way things were, but better at least.

They had seen each other—as long as Tally didn't mind—the few occasions Isa was home from college, but Mandy still hoped that they could get back to being real friends. She never stopped missing Isa, and if friendship was all she could have, Mandy would be happy about it, ecstatic even. She needed Isa as a friend if nothing more.

So that day she and Isa sat down and applied to schools, Mandy thought it could be the magical thing she needed to get back into Isa's good graces. Maybe Isa would start calling her again, and they could be more than casual friends who just spoke when Isa was back in town. When the acceptance came, Mandy was sure Mom told Isa's mom, who had surely told Isa, but it hadn't worked. They still hadn't really spoken since the last time Isa had been home all those months ago.

The thing was, once USC said yes, Mandy didn't want to say no. Even if it didn't bring Isa back the way Mandy wanted. Even if they could never be real friends again, she wanted to go. A new chance at a new life awaited her, even if she could drive home whenever she wanted. It lit a spark inside Mandy she had thought all but burned out long before.

"We should get you one of those little things so you can carry all your shower necessities with you to the bathroom." Mom's voice brought Mandy back to the task at hand. Buying all the "essentials" for her dorm, as Mom called it.

Mandy was the age of most juniors, but with her time in Europe, and all the time she spent home working at Grace's, she was starting as a freshman and decided even if she was the oldest in the dorm, she should experience all college had to offer—which meant shower shoes and communal living. Sharing a bathroom was not something she was used to, but how bad could it really be?

Mom pulled Mandy into Pottery Barn to pick out new linens for her dorm bed. A twin-sized mattress was also something Mandy wasn't used to, but if it was comfortable Mandy didn't think a smaller size would be an issue. As long as she had a bed, she told herself, she'd be happy. But Mom was all about trying to make Mandy as comfortable as possible, and that included decorating her room—which Mom was possibly more excited about than she was.

"These are cute." Mandy held up a pack of sheets that were mostly white but had a bunch of different-colored hearts all over them.

Mom wrinkled her nose. "What's the thread count?"

Was there a difference? Mandy handed the pack to Mom because she didn't even know where to look for such information.

Mom grunted. "I think we can do better. Plus, aren't the school colors red and gold?"

Mandy was sure that didn't matter, but she wasn't going to get into that either. And she really didn't care what her sheets looked like. She'd be sleeping on them, not wearing them to class. "Yep, you're right, Mom." This answer made Mom smile, and Mandy used it to her advantage. "I think I need some caffeine, and you're so much better at this than me. Why don't I go grab us some Starbucks? I'm sure I'll love whatever you pick out."

Mom huffed, but then glanced around as if weighing whether Mandy would in fact be helpful or just in the way of her design plans. "You know we only have today to do this; tomorrow you have a hair appointment, and your father's colleague is having us over, and—"

"I know. And we'll get it all done. Caffeine will help. Promise."

Mom seemed to consider this more than she considered the sheets Mandy had selected. "I suppose a nonfat sugar-free vanilla latte would be nice."

"You're the best." Mandy kissed Mom's cheek.

"Now you're just trying to butter me up."

"Is it working?"

Mom grinned. "Just go. We still have a lot of shopping to do." Mom picked up a fuzzy white throw pillow and inspected it intently. What Mandy needed throw pillows for she had no idea. She also didn't know why she needed Trojan bookends, but Mom insisted on buying those at their last stop. Now they seemed to weigh a million pounds as Mandy lugged the bags and fought against the flow of people around her. She should've left the bags with Mom.

Just like every other place in the mall, Starbucks was packed, so Mandy got in a line that extended well outside the coffee shop and down a store. Her caffeine addiction started in Europe with all the tea they would drink, and transferred over to the States when she got back. Tea wasn't the same here as it was over there, and while she still enjoyed a cuppa, she also loved her espresso. And right now, a double-shot cappuccino was needed, so she didn't care how long she had to wait, she was getting her fix.

When Mandy finally turned in to Starbucks, however, she froze. Isa, her mom, and Abuela sat at a table just on the other side of the small café space near the counter that held the sugar, creamers, straws, and napkins.

Mandy should leave. That was the first thought that went through her head—which was silly because it wasn't like they were enemies. It wasn't even like they hated each other, or at least Mandy didn't hate Isa at all. But Mandy hadn't seen Isa's mom or Abuela in what felt like ages, at least not since that night on Mandy's front porch.

The line shifted forward again, and Mandy's feet shuffled with it. Isa and her family would probably be gone by the time Mandy ordered. They looked like they were finishing up anyway. As Mandy went to turn to look at the display of coffee mugs, and not at how Isa wore a new shade of lipstick, Mandy caught Abuela's eye, who gave Mandy a sad smile.

Oh yes, she should leave, but now she'd been spotted. Now they would know she left. Mandy fidgeted with a coffee mug she plucked off the shelf to busy her hands. Twenty dollars? For a coffee mug? Were they out of their minds? Focus, Mandy. It was fine. You did what was best. That was what Mandy had told herself over and over since that terrible day more than two years ago now, and she still wasn't 100 percent convinced of it.

"Need a Frappuccino fix, huh?"

Mandy fumbled with the mug still in her hands and spun around to find Isa wearing tight jeans with a flannel over a purple tank top and a smile—and not a sad one. "I haven't had one of those in forever." Mandy forced a chuckle. Oh god, she sounded nervous and anxious—which she was.

And the smile on Isa's face was gone. Already Mandy was blowing this.

"I crossed over to the dark side," Mandy attempted to joke.

"Coffee, huh?"

"Cappuccino. I got hooked on them in…" Real smooth, Mandy. She changed the subject. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Shopping," Isa said. Was she nervous too? "Need to get some things before I head back to Boston."

"Yeah. Same. I mean getting things for school, not in Boston of course…" Dear god, could she stop rambling?

"You're going then. To college?" Isa's eyebrows lifted.

"Yeah. Someone told me I could do anything, and so I thought what the heck."

"That's great." Isa's smile was back, and it was brighter than it was before. Mandy could stare at it all day, but instead she looked at the menu board.

"Where are you going?" Isa asked.

"Oh. USC."

"That's cool. Far enough to be away, but close enough to come home when you need to do laundry." Isa chuckled.

Laundry. Mandy hadn't thought about laundry. How did she do that?

"Nikki transferred there. NYU wasn't for her." Isa shrugged.

So she still talked to Nikki. Did she talk to anyone else? Did she tell them about what had happened between the two of them? Mandy kind of lost touch with everyone when she went away. And then when she got back, she wasn't sure if they knew or what they knew so she just didn't bother finding out.

"You should call her. Nikki, that is. She's home for the summer."

The number rattled off in Mandy's head. Funny how some things you couldn't forget. Like phone numbers even when you hadn't used them for a while. "Yeah. I'll do that."

Isa did the thing where she lifted just one brow, and while Mandy knew exactly what it meant, it made the ache in her chest deepen.

"I really will. I swear."

The line shifted again, and Mandy ordered her drinks and paid for them. To her surprise, Isa was waiting for her at the other end of the counter where Mandy would pick up her order. But before she could say anything, Mom pushed her way through the crowd with her overstuffed Pottery Barn bags. "I was wondering what was taking so long."

"Hi, Mrs. Dean," Isa said.

Mom dropped the bags and pulled Isa into a tight hug. "You look so beautiful. I bet you're driving all those Boston boys crazy."

"Mom," Mandy snapped.

"Oh, I mean girls."

Mandy shook her head. Could she be more embarrassing?

"It's fine," Isa said. "My girlfriend, Tally, teases me about it all the time. It's like the boys in Boston have never seen a Mexican." She wanted to be happy for Isa, for her and Tally, but Mandy's stomach burned all the way up to her cheeks.

"That's wonderful," Mom said.

"Yeah. Sometimes things happen for a reason," Isa said, but Mandy was pretty sure she wasn't talking about boys on campus and instead about what had happened between Isa and her. Mandy glanced to the table where Isa had been sitting before with her mom and Abuela, but they were gone, and a bunch of rowdy boys had taken their place.

"You should come by before you head back. We're planning a last supper, so to speak, this weekend. Bring your mom and Abuela," Mom said.

"That's sweet, but I'm leaving on Friday. Mamá and Abuela could stop by though."

"Absolutely. Please tell them seven and not to bring anything; I have it all covered." Which meant the caterers had everything under control.

"I will." Her eyes met Mandy's. "If you're not busy, maybe we can get lunch or something tomorrow." Did her voice sound hopeful? Or was that Mandy just wishing it did?

Mom shook her head. "We've got—"

"Totally. Yes. Not busy at all tomorrow."

"Great. I'll call you," Isa said.

"Okay," Mandy said.

"Talk to you then." And Isa walked away.

"Honey, we've got plans tomorrow," Mom complained. "And you cannot miss your hair appointment." She eyed Mandy's messy locks. She hadn't had it cut since the time she decided to go all Edward Scissorhands.

"Mom." Mandy glanced toward where Isa just left. It wasn't like Mom didn't know their history. Didn't listen to Mandy cry over the phone for weeks after she went to Europe. Although Mom didn't know the exact details that brought about the end of Mandy's relationship with Isa, she knew enough to understand how big a step this was. And it had to be a step in the right direction, didn't it?

Mom's jaw clenched, and she let out a long sigh. "Well, we better get a move on then."