Chapter Twenty-Nine

December 2006

What was supposed to be a three-month sabbatical—a three-month trip to learn about and experience some amazing art—turned into an experience Mandy would never forget, nor did she want to. Europe had been everything Mandy needed it to be. Not everything she wanted, but those were different things. She had wanted to go to Paris with Isa, wanted to introduce her to art pieces that meant something to Mandy, but that didn't happen.

If it had, Mandy may not have been able to stay as long or learn all the things she did and grow as an artist the way she had. The purpose of the trip had transformed, but so had Mandy. As awful as it had started, Mandy wouldn't change anything about it. She was grateful for everything she had gone through.

Mandy's life had changed for the better, and she had to believe that Isa's had too. But she couldn't think about it, or Isa, or even what tomorrow would be because today was her last day in England, and Sophie had wanted to take Mandy out one last time.

While Mandy continued staying at the same house in the same room she had when she first got to Europe, Sophie moved out about six months later into her own flat—with roommates—not far away. On days like today, Mandy would walk instead of taking a bus to see her. It wasn't often, but there were occasionally days when the sun would come out, even in December, and despite the chilly air, Mandy took her hat off and let those glorious rays shine down on her face.

Sophie's flat was a three-story walk-up just off a main road. Mandy had no idea what Sophie had in store for her, and Mandy's mind raced with ideas as she climbed those stairs. They'd already done a ton of shopping to "prepare Mandy's wardrobe" for when she made it back to the States. And they'd done their last night at their favorite pub, but she supposed they could always go back for one more pint. Mandy carefully tucked her hair behind her ear—it had finally grown out enough to stay secured there for a decent amount of time—and knocked on the door.

As usual, Sophie called out, "Come in," from the other side.

Mandy pushed the door open.

"Surprise!"

Holy shit.

Mandy jumped back, clutching her chest. Packed inside the smallish flat was practically everyone Mandy knew and a few faces she didn't recognize. There were people from her art classes and some from Sophie's design school. Finny and his current boyfriend, Leo, stood near the corner with Rafe and Sophie. On more than one occasion, Mandy had been their fifth wheel but never minded. They had become some of her favorite people and tomorrow she would be leaving them.

Happy tears stung Mandy's eyes. "Bloody hell, you guys," she said in her best British accent, which wasn't terrible (but wasn't great either).

And they all laughed and raised their glasses.

The apartment had been decorated with American flags and red, white, and blue balloons. People wore straw cowboy hats and cheap bandannas around their necks.

"We thought we should help you prepare to reacclimate," Darcy, a girl from her advanced modern art class, said.

Mandy stifled a laugh. "It's incredible," she said.

Her friends had really gone all out and seemed to have raided the "American food" section at their local corner shop, ensuring a spread of Twinkies, Strawberry Sensation Pop-Tarts, marshmallows, and hot dogs in a jar—because for some reason the Brits thought this was how Americans sold their hot dogs. Luckily, Sophie made sure to have Mandy's favorite British foods too—like crumpets and Marmite (yes, she enjoyed the tangy, thick brown spread that looked like dirty motor oil), and Scotch eggs, and some of her favorite cheeses. And of course, Sophie had her favorite gin there as well. (Although Mandy didn't know for sure whether she could get it in America—she would have to see when she got back.) Because they were right, in less than twenty-four hours, she would have no problem getting all the American snack foods her heart could desire, but she wouldn't get the few things that were truly British. She wished she could wrap up all the things and people she loved so much about Europe and bring them home with her. What was she going to do without Sophie? They could Skype, but Mandy couldn't walk over to her flat and watch terrible British telly with her or go to the pub and grab a pint after a really long day. Hell, back home she wasn't even allowed to drink legally. And who was going to tell her what to wear? And that she had horrible taste in shoes? Well, actually, Mom would have the shoe thing covered.

As if Sophie knew Mandy was thinking about her, she was suddenly next to her, pulling Mandy into the tightest hug. "You were surprised, right?"

"I had no idea." And it was true. Mandy had been too preoccupied with all the things she needed to do to leave to notice anything suspicious. It was a good thing Mandy didn't want to become a detective. If she were being honest, she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do when she got back, she just knew it was time to go. The same feeling in her gut that had been calling her to Europe started calling her home. She missed the beach and the sun and the warm California weather. And she missed Mom and Dad. She loved Europe—there was something there that fed her soul in a way nothing back home did—but she was also a California girl inside and out, and it was her time to return. Those tears threatened again.

"Oh no. You are not going to make me cry. Let's get you a drink." Sophie grabbed two glasses and poured gin with seltzer and a splash of Ribena—a black currant juice—into both, one for each of them. "To Mandy!" she called.

"To Mandy," her friends repeated, and then all drank.

And ate.

And drank.

And drank.

And drank.

A few hours later, the flat was overstuffed with people, but Mandy was terribly drunk. She sat on Sophie's lap on her emerald-green velvet couch talking to Leo about…well, actually, she wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about anymore.

Sophie twirled Mandy's hair between her fingers. "It's not just good music though," she was saying, "there's a message there. Take ‘A Certain Romance,' for example. It talks about how boredom breeds violence. That's bloody powerful."

Leo gazed at Sophie pensively. Maybe he didn't know what she was talking about either. "I've never thought about it like that."

"I don't even know what you're saying," Mandy said.

Sophie laughed and tugged Mandy's hair. "That's because you're pissed."

"I'm so fucking pissed," Mandy agreed. She probably shouldn't have had that last shot, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. She'd been drunk before, but never this drunk.

Rafe handed Mandy a bag of crisps and slipped onto the couch behind Sophie. "Eat something."

Prawn wasn't her favorite flavor, but she needed to soak up some of the alcohol.

"You've been hogging my girl all night," Rafe said as he reached around and tugged a little of Mandy's hair too. "When do I get a turn?"

"When I leave tomorrow," Mandy mumbled through a mouthful. "Bugger off. She's mine until then."

"She's right, babe." Sophie leaned back and kissed Rafe's scruffy cheek. "I'm hers until tomorrow. That was the deal."

Mandy shoved another handful of crisps in her mouth. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you more." Sophie kissed Mandy's cheek. Nothing romantic ever happened with them—even that kiss on New Year's Eve the year before couldn't be defined that way—but Mandy loved Sophie, and Sophie loved Mandy. It was something they told each other often. It was a familial love, a sisterly love, the kind of love where they could sit on each other's laps and twirl each other's hair and kiss on the cheek. It was also the familial love where they farted and could be ugly and were just totally real with each other. The same kind of love Mandy had with Isa—before.

Mandy was going to miss it. Miss Sophie. Miss snuggling on the couch together. "You have to come and visit." A rogue tear slipped down Mandy's cheek. "Promise me."

"Fuck," Sophie said, and then she was crying too. "I promise." She kissed Mandy's cheek again. "I promise, I promise."

"You two are so gross," Finny said, and he took a seat on Leo's lap.

"The same could be said about you two." Mandy threw a couple of crisps at them.

"Yes, we are," Leo said. Out of all of Finny's boyfriends, Leo was the one Mandy liked best. He complemented Finny's exuberant side, never got embarrassed when Finny broke out into song and dance at random occasions, and let Finny win at darts. That's how Mandy knew Leo was the real deal—that even though Finny tried to pretend Leo was just a boy he was dating, there was more there.

Rafe and Sophie were good together, but Mandy wasn't as sure about them. They'd likely be friends forever, but Mandy didn't see Rafe as Sophie's forever. Sophie wasn't the kind of girl you could pin down that easily. She needed space to roam. She had too many adventures she still wanted to take. Only time would truly tell though.

The one thing Mandy knew for sure was that she was so grateful she had met them all. She had been a mess when she first got to London, and Sophie was damn near an angel for putting up with Mandy during those first few months. Sophie brought Mandy back to life and saved her. She had been the lantern Mandy needed in the dark cave she had curled herself into. Sophie was the light that led her out.

Mandy loved all of them so much. "I'm going to miss all of you!"

And the group squeezed together into one giant hug.

That night, Mandy slept in Sophie's bed—too drunk to make it home. In the morning, Sophie helped her collect all her gifts—Crunchie bars, and Hobnobs, and Jaffa Cakes, and boxes of tea—and took Mandy back to the room she'd been staying in. Mandy's head throbbed, and she chugged Lucozade—the British version of Gatorade—that had been left over from the night before like a dehydrated camel. She was never going to drink that much ever again.

Sophie was hungover too—not as badly as Mandy though—so she helped Mandy pack up the last of her things and picked her out the cutest outfit—because even if you didn't feel good, you should look good, Sophie would always say. (She really was like Mom in a lot of ways.) They ate a greasy breakfast to help soak up the alcohol, and before either of them were ready, the taxi had pulled up to the curb.

"Don't forget me," Mandy said into Sophie's hair as she squeezed her tight.

"Never." Sophie squeezed her back. "You're an amazing person, Amanda Dean, don't you forget that."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you more."

And they stayed like that for another minute. Mandy clutching the soft fabric of Sophie's jacket, not ready to let go but at the same time so ready to be home again.

She climbed into the taxi and tried not to cry as she waved a final goodbye to her friend. Or not goodbye as Sophie said, but until next time. But who knew when that would be. Mandy was off on her next adventure. Going back home didn't feel like moving forward considering all the things she hadn't had to face while she was gone. Only time would tell if she had done the right thing then, and if she was doing the right thing by coming home now.