Chapter Twenty-Seven

June 2015

The entire store was like a sea of white, and tulle, and sparkles. Literally everything glistened, from the crystal chandeliers to the bubbles floating in Mandy's champagne glass. It was as if Glinda the Good Witch barfed on everything, showering it in a rainbow of glitter. It was so frilly, and girly, and not at all like Mandy. Not that she didn't like pretty, girly things. This was just completely over-the-top.

"Oh, this would look absolutely to die for on you." The salesperson who had been assigned to them, Krystin, sounded way too cheerful. She held up the poofiest dress Mandy had ever laid eyes on. It was strapless and the top looked like a heart, and the bottom looked like an over-frosted cupcake with sparkles, of course. Mandy's gaze connected with Isa's, and it was obvious she thought the same thing. That dress was hideous.

"Well, that is something." Mom poked her head out from behind a rack. That was her nice way of saying she hated it too.

"I'll put it with the others." Krystin strolled off.

"?‘To die for.'?" Isa edged up to Mandy's side.

"I might die if I have to wear that," Mandy whispered.

"You never know unless you try it on," Mom said—always diplomatic. "Now what about this one?" The dress she held was better. Not perfect, but better. It had straps, for one thing, and the sparkle was subtle. But it was princess-style, and even though Dad still liked to call Mandy his princess, that kind of dress just wasn't really her thing. Mom, though, was trying—which was nice, since she picked this boutique out.

The whole shopping excursion had been Mom's idea. She "did the research" and made the appointment. This was supposed to be the best bridal shop in all of Southern California, but Mandy was having her doubts. Maybe it was the best bridal shop for drag queens, or Kardashian wannabes, but for other people? Mandy had so many things she needed to do, like finish the commissions for Aziz, who—thankfully, even though Mandy probably didn't deserve it—still talked about her and her work and continued to sell her pieces. He'd been hinting at another show, but Mandy didn't have the emotional bandwidth. Mandy was lucky she had Aziz, and she was well aware of that, so she didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize their relationship—like blowing off the time she should be painting on looking at overpriced dresses.

"It's not bad," Isa said for Mandy—trying to play the peacekeeper.

"I'll have Krystin put it with the others." Mom followed the path Krystin had gone just moments before.

"No one ever buys a dress from the first place they go to." Isa pushed a cream-colored gown to the side.

"And you know this how?" It wasn't like Isa had ever been married. Mandy didn't even think she'd been wedding dress shopping before today. Mandy hadn't.

"TLC. Like everyone else." She bumped Mandy with her hip. "Come on. Just try the things on and make your mom happy."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have to squeeze your ass into them and then parade around."

"Fair. But…I bet you one hundred dollars I can find the ugliest dress." Isa smiled.

Mandy glanced around. If she had to be here and do this anyway, she might as well make it as fun as possible, right? "Oh, you're on."

Isa took off in one direction and Mandy in the other. This new task almost made sifting through hundreds of dresses mildly enjoyable, and even though Mandy's arms started to ache, she wasn't about to give up. And if she was going to be completely honest, some of these weren't that bad. There were actually a few that could be okay, maybe. Mandy pushed a basic sheath dress to the side and hit the jackpot. What hung before her was quite the monstrosity—it even needed two hangers to hold it all up. Off-white, sparkly (of course), and oh god, did it have beaded fringe?

"Krystin," Mandy called. "Could you help me with this one?" Mandy was totally going to win.

"Oh yes, isn't the iridescent overlay simply to die for?" Krystin asked as she attempted to pull the giant gown from the rack. She wrestled with it for a solid two minutes before she was swallowed by a mound of "iridescent overlay," Mandy assumed.

Once it was gone, however, she got the opportunity to see what was behind that dress, and it was, well…kind of perfect. It was white but not bright white, and it was simple—understated. She actually kind of liked it. "Could I try this one too?"

"I'll be right back for it," Krystin said from under the mountain of fabric, and shuffled off.

Mandy stared at the dress a moment longer. It was pretty. And the price wasn't even half of the one that had just been taken to her fitting room. If she tilted her head the right way, she could even picture herself in it. Isa's laughter pulled her out of her thoughts and back to the task at hand.

"You're going to love this one," Isa said from somewhere.

Twenty minutes later, the fitting room Mandy stood in wasn't anything fancy—a square room with a small chair for her to place her clothes on, and just enough room for Mandy, Krystin, and all that tulle. A large mirror was on one wall, and every other available space was full of dresses. Isa had really come through on some "special"-looking choices. Mandy had to give it to Krystin, not once did she giggle or make an uncomplimentary comment. Like when Mandy slipped into a mermaid-style strapless gown with see-through lace around her middle and a train three times as long as she was tall, Krystin's comment was, "While this does nice things for your derriere, I'm not sure this is the one, but let's see what your family thinks."

Isa covered her mouth—likely because she was about to spit out her champagne—when Mandy turned the corner and came into view of the couches where Isa and Mom sat to wait for Mandy. Mom, on the other hand, was not amused.

"Oh no. Just turn around." Mom shook her head.

"I don't know. How does it look with the veil?" Isa somehow held a straight face.

Mom scowled at her. "You're kidding, right?"

Krystin—forever the polite sales associate—said, "Yeah, this wasn't my favorite either, but don't worry, there are lots more options," and ushered Mandy back to the dressing room.

The next dress was somehow worse than the first. The material on top was completely sheer, but strategically placed rhinestones covered Mandy from her shoulders all the way down the front of either side of her torso to her hips, but left the center down to her belly button completely exposed. From there, layers of organza circled her hips and flared out around her legs like wrinkled wrapping paper. And then there was the enormous rhinestone bow right on Mandy's ass.

"Maybe not this one," Krystin suggested, but Mandy knew she couldn't not show Isa one of her amazing picks.

"I don't know. Let's see what they say."

Poor Krystin plastered on a smile as she followed Mandy out of the dressing room back to the couches.

Mom, momentarily distracted by her phone, didn't look up until Mandy was standing on the stage in front of them with three mirrors behind her so whoever was seated on the couches could get a full 360-degree view.

Isa's chin quivered; she was trying so hard not to laugh that Mandy couldn't keep a straight face.

"What is going on here?" Mom demanded.

And Isa lost it, so of course Mandy burst out laughing.

Krystin stood there, not sure what was going on. Poor, poor Krystin.

"You two." Mom tried not to smile now that she seemed to figure out what was happening. "You've had your fun, now go try on that Alfred Angelo one I picked out."

"I win," Isa called after Mandy as she retreated to the dressing room.

Without looking back, Mandy flipped her off before turning the corner.

The Alfred Angelo, as Mom called it, had a halter top, a cinched waist with a rhinestone belt, and a full princess skirt. Krystin paired it with a faux fur wrap, since the wedding was in December, and a tea-length veil.

"You look absolutely stunning," Mom gushed, her eyes filling with tears. Which made Mandy's eyes burn a little too.

Mom reached for the box of tissues, but it was empty. "Excuse me," she said, and headed toward the bathroom.

"I'm so sorry about that. I'll get some more." Krystin hurried off for more tissues. And so, it was just Isa and Mandy.

Mandy stood there staring at herself in all three mirrors. She did look like a bride, but she didn't exactly feel like one.

"I thought you wanted a spring wedding." Isa fidgeted with the faux wrap. It was nice and warm, but it made Mandy's neck itch.

"Edmund thought a winter wedding would be romantic."

"In New England?"

Edmund argued everything went with snow, and that they could order all the flowers Mandy wanted, but she couldn't deny that her heart had been set on a spring wedding.

Mandy had almost forgotten about the time she and Isa sat inside Waldenbooks looking at bridal magazines. How did Isa remember? It had been the summer before freshman year, and with nothing else to do, Mandy and Isa were hanging at the mall. It was too hot that day for the beach, so any place with air-conditioning was preferable to sweltering in the sun. Isa had dragged Mandy into the store, but it was Mandy who had been hard-core crushing on Justin Timberlake and saw a magazine with his face plastered on the cover and pulled Isa to that section instead of looking at the new releases like Isa wanted. It wasn't like they didn't have plenty of time, so Isa relented, and they settled on the floor next to the overflowing rack with magazines on every topic under the sun. Mandy, however, was the one who got them looking at all the bridal ones.

"I don't know if I want to get married," Isa said as she flipped through the pages of Martha Stewart Weddings .

"I do," Mandy said. "It's going to be in a garden somewhere, full of flowers, and instead of throwing rice, we'll release butterflies, and they'll flutter all around me before they fly away."

"I don't think you can train butterflies to do that."

Mandy ignored her. "It will be a perfect spring day, not too hot and not too cold. And we will stand under a shady tree, and Justin will say how he's never loved anyone as much as me, and I'll tell him he's so beautiful, and then we'll kiss." Mandy held the magazine to her chest and let out a long sigh.

"Okay." Isa put the bridal magazine back and picked up one with a fluffy white kitten on the cover. "Do you think my mom will let me get a cat?"

"Litter boxes are gross."

"Yeah, but kittens are cute." Isa flipped the page around for Mandy to see.

"Awwww…" Mandy threw her magazine back on the rack and scooted next to Isa so they could look at all the cats together.

Mom ooh ed, bringing Mandy back to the present, back to staring at herself in a mirror with multiple angles. "These heels would match perfectly. Try them on."

"You hate heels," Isa said.

Mandy, however, didn't say anything. She just complied with what her mother wanted—sometimes it was easier—and slid her feet into the uncomfortable shoes. They pinched her toes, and the right one dug into her heel. Even with them on, the dress was too long and pooled around her feet.

"We can do all the alterations in-house," Krystin said.

Mandy stared at herself. The lights in there were extra bright, and the wrap around her shoulders grated against her skin. Mandy's cheeks flushed, and a trickle of sweat ran down her back like a slowly creeping spider. Wasn't she supposed to feel something? A spark. Some magic. She was getting married. Possibly in this very dress, and instead of being excited, Mandy's heart pounded harder.

Was this it? The one? And she didn't just mean the dress.

"I think this could be it, but I know we don't always meet eye to eye, so if you want to try some more on before you decide, I promise I won't say anything. But you do look like the picture-perfect bride in this one." Mom went for the new box of tissues.

Mandy had always wanted to get married. She knew from even before that moment in Waldenbooks that one day she'd be a bride, and wear a white dress, and Dad would walk her down the aisle. Mandy loved love more than the bees loved the flowers.

So why couldn't she breathe?

Isa interlaced her fingers with Mandy's and gave her a squeeze. "I don't think we're ready to make any decisions yet, right, Mandy?"

Mandy just nodded.

"No, of course not. We have so many more to try. But let's keep this one on the list, shall we? It's a solid contender," Krystin said.

"It'll be okay," Isa whispered and gave Mandy's hand another squeeze.

Would it though?