Chapter Ten

September 1999

Isa had issues with her schedule and needed to see the counselor during lunch, leaving Mandy to sit at their usual table without her. Their group of friends were all nice, and they all got along really well. Isa and Mandy weren't as close with any of them as they were with each other, but they were still their friends. Every sleepover and birthday party and field trip—and every lunch—they all were together.

The cafeteria at the School for the Gifted and Talented wasn't like the ones Mandy saw on TV shows. They were a magnet school, and parents were super involved—meaning they were required to put in a number of volunteer hours each year, which the administration claimed made them care more about the school; and maybe they did, because the cafeteria looked like a giant living room in someone's house, with student artwork on the walls, potted plants, and comfy chairs around round tables that all had napkin dispensers in the middle. The food served was always something multicultural—just like the student body—although lots of kids also brought lunch from home. Another nice thing about GAT was that everyone kind of got along. Although they all had their friend groups, it wasn't cliquey like on Sabrina the Teenage Witch .

Laura plopped down at their table with her lunch tray, pulled the scrunchie from her wrist, and threw her raven-black hair up into a high ponytail, making a performance out of it in the process. Then again, everything Laura did was a performance—pulling up her hair, applying her lip gloss, scrunching her pale freckled nose when something annoyed her—everything. "Who else wants to go to the movies this weekend?" She set the contents of her lunch in front of her—a vegan rice bowl, sliced apple, and Oreo cookies.

"I'm in." Sara threw her hand in the air, showing off the henna that was still lingering from her sister's wedding that summer—it was intricate and beautiful, and Mandy was a little jealous of it. "Wait, what are we seeing?" She took a bite of her turkey and lettuce wrap.

"My mom wants to see Double Jeopardy ." Laura stuck her finger in her mouth and made a gagging noise. "But maybe we can go see something else instead."

Mandy opened her paper bag and pulled out her peanut butter and pickle sandwich. "What else is playing?" Her friends thought it was weird, but they didn't comment about Mandy's favorite sandwich anymore. The few of them brave enough to try it even admitted it wasn't bad. Mandy thought it was much better than plain old PB&J, that was for sure.

"I think 10 Things I Hate About You is still playing." Sara blinked her dark brown eyes innocently.

Mandy loved that movie. She and Isa went to see it on opening weekend, and then she went back again the weekend after with Mom and Dad for family movie night. Mandy was already planning to buy a copy on DVD whenever it came out and had been searching for a movie poster she could hang in her bedroom. There was something really special about that movie—the way it made Mandy feel. As she took a bite of her sandwich—the sweetness of peanut butter mixing with the salty crunch of pickle—she thought back to her absolute favorite scene. Kat was all annoyed and decided to go to a house party, and she kept throwing back shots of something. At one point she jumped up on a table and started dancing. The song that played in the background thumped through Mandy's seat, and she froze mid–popcorn bite, watching Kat. She was so cool, and her hair was amazing, and the way her ashy violet tank top came up and showed off her belly button—

"We all know you just want to see Heath Ledger again." Nikki threw a tortilla chip from her enchilada lunch at Sara.

It bounced off her arm, leaving a dusting of salt behind. "Yeah, so? He's hot." She picked up the chip and threw it back, hitting Nikki in the forehead.

"Heath Ledger is hot," Laura confirmed.

"Exactly," Sara said.

Nikki's usually pale cheeks quickly turned into bright red apples. "Duh. Everyone knows that though. Right, Mandy?"

"Yeah, but Julia Stiles is amazing too, don't ya think?" Mandy was sure of this, but her voice sounded hesitant even to her own ears.

"Oh, totally," Laura said. "She's a really good actress."

"And she gets to kiss Heath Ledger," Sara said.

The sandwich in Mandy's mouth turned gluey, and it was tough for her to swallow. That wasn't what Mandy had meant. Sure, she got to kiss him, but what had Mandy's heart pounding during that movie was that he got to kiss her . Was she the only person to think that?

The conversation quickly shifted to who everyone thought was good-looking at their school. Sara mentioned Parker—he played the drums in band. Laura said Ryan—a soccer player. And Nikki said all the boys at their school were too immature. Mandy agreed with all of them, but another name did pop into her head.

Daphne.

She was new that year, in the same homeroom as Mandy and Isa, and anytime Mandy looked at her, honeybees buzzed in her chest.

Daphne's hair was the color of late autumn leaves—brown with a hint of red—and she had a constellation of freckles across the bridge of her light brown nose and on her cheeks. Every day she wore the same black cardigan with tan leather elbow patches—which was both a little nerdy and a little sweet—and a hemp choker. And anytime Daphne knew the answer, she bit her lip before lifting a hand full of rings into the air.

She was, in other words, completely and utterly adorable.

But until that moment, Mandy didn't realize her thoughts about Julia Stiles or Daphne were an opinion. She assumed they were a fact—like how Heath Ledger was hot. Now it seemed that not everyone thought the same way Mandy did, and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about that. It wasn't that her feelings were completely out there—Nikki unofficially had two dads, and no one ever said anything bad about them or acted like it was a big deal—but still Mandy felt…scared.

Mandy and Isa sat on the cold tile floor in Mandy's bathroom painting their toenails and munching on M&M's as Britney Spears sang from the stereo in Mandy's bedroom. School had only been back in session a couple of weeks, and overall, seventh grade was a major improvement from sixth. Mandy and Isa had lockers near each other and had the same homeroom teacher, and they were no longer at the bottom edge of the social hierarchy of middle school, which felt cooler even if it didn't really mean anything.

That evening, however, Mandy didn't feel cool at all. Her hand wasn't as steady as it normally was when she painted, and her heart beat like it did in PE, which wasn't usual when it was just her and Isa. But there had been something on Mandy's mind—something she really wanted to talk to Isa about, but she wasn't sure how to bring it up.

A cotton ball hit Mandy in the nose, shaking her from her thoughts and bringing her back to her bathroom.

"What's going on with you?" Isa asked. "You're being weird."

That's because Mandy was weird. Wasn't she? She glanced at her mermaid toothbrush holder next to the sink, and then to her shower curtain—the mermaid swimming on it seemed to be looking at Mandy like, Go ahead, talk to her, she's your best friend . And Isa was. Mandy told Isa everything, and she always listened and never judged her. So why was Mandy so nervous this time? "Have you ever had a crush on anyone?" Mandy asked even though Isa had never expressed interest in anyone—not even when Mandy talked about that butt-face Brandon all the time—but this question was safe. This question gave Mandy time to think more about what she wanted to say. The scent of acetone burned Mandy's nose.

"Is that what this is about?" Isa went back to her nail polish, a bright yellow that reminded Mandy of a new tennis ball. Maybe Mandy shouldn't have said anything. "It's that new girl, Daphne, isn't it?"

Mandy's breath stopped. And there it was—the truth spoken out in the open and without hesitation. She should've been relieved—she didn't have to say it herself—but instead, her insides trembled. Good thing she was already in the bathroom, because she might need to throw up.

"It's okay. I don't think anyone else knows. I just…" Isa shrugged. "Know you, you know?"

"You don't think that makes me weird?" Mandy spoke so softly she wasn't even sure she said the words out loud.

"Oh, you're totally weird, but not in the way you mean." Isa glanced up at Mandy. "And, I mean, I guess Daphne is okay. She's got to be better than butt-face, right?" She smiled. "Hand me the black. I think I want to make smiley faces on these." Isa wiggled her fingers.

Mandy reached into her container full of different nail polishes. "Let me do it." Mandy shook the bottle of black.

Isa set her hands on the floor in front of Mandy. "Oh. Can you go to the mall this weekend?"

Mandy placed the bottle down and pulled out the brush. "Yeah. Of course."

"Good, 'cause Abuela gave me the rest of the money so I could get those new Vans. Oh, and at Waldenbooks…" Isa rambled on about all the books she needed to check out, and how she heard about a new ice cream place.

And just like that, Mandy was okay. Isa knew Mandy's secret and didn't ask any questions or make fun of her or leave immediately and never speak to her again. It was like it always was when she was with Isa.

Eventually Mandy would have to tell her other friends and, of course, her parents, but for tonight things in Mandy's world were all right.