Chapter 22

Miss Moo made a sound of alarm. The earth rumbled again.

Sebastian's gaze darted around the clearing, dimly illuminated by the lamp on the ground. "That didn't happen last time."

A screech pierced the night air. They looked up to see dozens of pairs of onyx eyes peering down at them from the shadows. The cow tossed her head as if she could sense the shades. With another loud moo, she lurched away from Sebastian, pulling the rope from his grip, and ran off through the trees.

James slowly crouched to grab the oil lamp. Sebastian copied his steady movement, gathering their clothes and the ritual supplies.

"Sebastian." James reached out and took hold of his hand. "What happened the night I found you outside?"

Sebastian took a step toward the path, pulling James along. "I don't think the shades like it when you mess with the veins." His attention stayed glued to the eyes in the trees. "I came out here, hoping you'd follow. I made a bunch of noise on my way out. I was digging around in the dirt to try and draw your attention to the spot where the veins are, using a bit of magic to help soften the earth. I hoped you'd catch me or come investigating later."

They inched closer to the path, the shades slowly closing in on them, coming out of the shadows and down into the clearing.

"But you didn't, and the shades came down on me in the clearing," Sebastian continued.

"That was a risky thing to do," James whispered as if that would help avoid the shades' attention even though they were already staring.

"I didn't mean to drain myself," Sebastian argued. "I used too much magic digging and didn't expect so many shades. I conjured light so I could get away, but it was too much magic. They overwhelmed me when I ran out of power."

A shade darted forward and grabbed the clothes in Sebastian's hands. It bared its teeth, knobby fingers clutching Sebastian's robe.

"No." Sebastian dropped James's hand and tugged back. "That's mine, you little shit."

Another shade joined the first, helping its fellow pull on the purple fabric. The knife and the bowl clattered to the ground.

"James, help." Sebastian shot him a frustrated look as a third shade joined the tug-of-war.

"Just leave it," James hissed. Sebastian might be attached to his robe, but now was not the time to prioritize clothing.

A wisp of dark smoke appeared around Sebastian's throat, solidifying into a pair of clawed hands. James yelled, but the shade was already squeezing. Sebastian dropped the clothes, his hands shooting to the fingers tightening around his neck.

James lunged forward, grabbed the knife from the ground, and lashed out. He struck the shade in the shoulder. The beast dissipated in a puff of smokey shadow, only to reappear a few feet away. The ones in the air above them chattered excitedly, snapping teeth and hissing.

There were a hell of a lot more of them now. Where had they all come from?

As more shades materialized in the clearing, James whispered, "Run."

Sebastian didn't hesitate. He grabbed James's hand and took off through the trees, not bothering with the path.

The shades followed. Claws raked down James's bare back. He wasn't sure if he should risk summoning a light. His energy was low, and even though they were still linked, Sebastian had to be close to depleted. Overdoing a light summoning spell now could hurt them both.

So they ran through the woods without looking back. At last, they came across the path. The property was too damn big. If only the veins were closer to the house.

Sebastian swore as a shade grabbed his wrist, but he didn't stop running and managed to shake it off.

They cleared the trees. There was no sign of Miss Moo, so she'd probably gone to hide in the barn.

James chanced a look over his shoulder. The number of shades had doubled. He'd never seen so many in one place. There were even more than the night he'd found Sebastian in the dirt. "Just don't stop," he yelled, turning to face forward so he didn't trip.

"Wasn't going to," Sebastian shot back.

A group of shades tried to cut them off, separating from the pack and swooping around from the side. James swung his lamp at them. It was enough to confuse them and keep them from closing in completely. They made it to the porch, and Sebastian lunged for the door.

The shades scattered, making all kinds of noise as they flew around the house, careening in every direction and swarming the place as James and Sebastian tumbled across the threshold.

James looked up. The skylight was full of curious faces blinking down at them, teeth glinting, and more shades flying in the sky above.

"Damn pains in the ass," Sebastian wheezed, out of breath.

James glanced back out the door. "We still don't know if the spell worked."

"No." Sebastian wiped blood from a scratch on his arm. "We'll have to wait for sunrise to check."

They cleaned up and checked each other's scratches. None were concerning. Even the ones on Sebastian's arm weren't deep. There was nothing to do but get out the antiseptic ointment and wait for the sun to rise.

As soon as it was light, they walked down the driveway together. Sebastian opened the gate, and James's stomach flipped. He wasn't confident the spell had worked but couldn't get the hopeful fluttering in his gut to calm.

He walked forward, his arms outstretched so he wouldn't smack his face. His hands shook. As he drew level with the stone pillars and ugly gargoyles guarding the property, excitement gripped him. This was it.

His hands smashed into the invisible barrier. Even though he'd anticipated it, he was hit with disbelief, the disappointment crushing in a way he couldn't have prepared himself for.

He pounded on the barrier. They'd done everything right. Why hadn't it worked?

Sebastian laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "James."

He whirled around. "I don't understand. The theory checked out."

"I know. A cow's life should have been enough, but maybe it has to be human. Another fail-safe in the magic that wasn't detailed in the transfer instructions."

"No." James shook his head. "We can't transfer the curse to another person to free ourselves. Miss Moo was perfect. She was going to live on the property her whole life anyway."

Sebastian squeezed his shoulder. "I know."

But that meant they weren't getting out.

James tried to take a breath, except the air wouldn't come. He couldn't get free of this place. He was trapped with no hope of escape.

Almost everything important to James was out of reach. He'd let Eli walk away upset last night. He hadn't even tried to comfort him. He'd failed Eli, and he'd do nothing but fail his brother over and over for as long as he was trapped here. James might not be dead, but Eli was going to lose him. How long would he keep coming back when magic forced James to push Eli away?

Failing his brother was the one thing that was never supposed to happen. Everyone else in their family was dead. James had to be there for Eli. It wasn't negotiable. Only he couldn't be, not when he was imprisoned at Storm House.

"James." Sebastian turned him so they were facing each other. "James, deep breaths."

He couldn't. His chest burned. "Eli," he gasped.

What if something happened to his brother and James couldn't get to him. What if he needed help. It was James's worst fear.

He'd been powerless to save their parents and grandparents, but he'd told himself Eli would be different. Nothing would separate them and disaster wouldn't claim them, not after it had taken everyone else in their family. Except, that was nothing but an idle wish. Anything could happen to Eli, and there was nothing James could do.

There had always been a chance he wouldn't be able to get to Eli in time if a crisis befell them, that he'd lose his brother unexpectedly, but he'd told himself he'd make it. He'd protect Eli no matter what. Only none of it was true. It was a lie James had made himself believe in order to cope with his overwhelming worries. But stuck here, he was forced to see the lie for what it was, and it brought him no comfort.

James had never had the power to ensure he wouldn't lose Eli to disaster or an unexpected medical event. And now, if anything happened, he wouldn't even be able to say goodbye. Eli would think James had abandoned him. He'd be left all alone, and James couldn't breathe through the thought.

He was on his knees, but he was unsure when he'd stopped standing.

Sebastian murmured in his ear, telling him to copy his steady breaths. James gasped. He couldn't think past Eli dying out of his reach. Alone. He'd never be able to forgive himself if that happened.

James knew death was a part of life but had never been able to sit comfortably with it. It had hurt too much when his parents were ripped away from him. He feared news of another accident claiming someone he loved more than anything, and now, he couldn't even spend the time he had with the people who were still here.

Anything could happen, and James hated all the horrible possibilities that were out there. It was enough to leave him frozen and helpless under the weight of it all.

What if something happened to Sebastian? The thought ripped through James like a fatal knife wound. What if Sebastian got hurt and James couldn't save him? They couldn't even call for help.

James was overcome with helplessness, exactly as he had been when his parents died. His own life was out of his control. Everything that mattered to him could be ripped away, and there was nothing he could do about it.

James gripped Sebastian's hand hard. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on Sebastian's breathing. An eternity passed, and when he opened his eyes, he realized his cheeks were soaked with tears.

"James." Sebastian wiped some of his tears away. "James, I'm here. You're okay."

"No," James gasped. He wasn't okay. Sebastian might be here now, but what if something happened? Too many emotions were welling up inside him. His feelings for Sebastian were only starting to grow. He needed to see where they went so badly it burned. He couldn't stand the idea that it could all be taken away before they had a chance to love each other.

James tried to be rational, but it was no good. He was a ball of raw pain and longing and nothing more. He couldn't hold it all back like he normally did. His grumpy outlook on life usually kept the overwhelming stuff at bay. He used it as a barrier, holding everything at a distance, only letting himself be vaguely annoyed or frustrated. It helped him not feel the things he didn't want to. But he was worn down. He'd started letting hopes and dreams and love in, and his ability to cope couldn't combat that. He couldn't feel all this and pretend it didn't matter if he lost it.

"I know things aren't going how we thought." Sebastian stroked James's hair. "But you're okay. I promise. You'll be okay. I'll get you out of here."

James blinked back tears. They both knew there was no use promising that.

"I've got you." Sebastian's arm tightened around James. He looked up at the sky, blinking furiously, then fixed his gaze on James. "I'll take care of you. I'll do everything I can."

"But what if something happens to you?" James couldn't hold the desperate question in.

Sebastian's brow crinkled. "Why would something happen to me? I'll be here for you."

"But what if? We don't know what will happen." James had never been good at accepting things outside his control. He hated the helplessness, but being afraid didn't give him any more power. His fear hadn't stopped his grandfather from suddenly succumbing to a heart attack two years after his parents' deaths. It hadn't helped him cope when Eli had moved away to college. He knew he had to accept basic risks and uncertainty, and he'd tried, but he didn't know how to face any of it alone. Not in a way that didn't eventually leave him in a place like this, lying in a helpless puddle.

"I was trying to help you," James pleaded with Sebastian, not even sure what he was trying to say. "I can't lose you. I can't lose Eli. But I'm helpless to stop it if it happens. I can't face losing anyone, especially you. Not after everything."

His words tumbled out in an incoherent mess, telling Sebastian everything he was afraid of. Each chaotic thought that had just run through his mind came spilling out into the open. It terrified him, but he couldn't stop himself.

Sebastian listened without interrupting. He didn't argue or point out how irrational and ridiculous most of it was, how people faced these things every day and got on with it.

"I know that helpless feeling," Sebastian said when James had finished. Of course he did. Sebastian had control over almost nothing in his life. He lived by the whim of his ancestor's curse.

"You're so strong." James reached out to touch Sebastian's face. "You've done so well here on your own."

Sebastian laughed mirthlessly. "I really haven't. And if you think I'm strong facing this"—he gestured toward the house—"then so are you, dealing with what life has dealt you."

James wanted to disagree. People's parents died. His situation was hardly unique, but maybe he shouldn't discount his experience. It wasn't a competition between him and Sebastian for who'd had a harder time.

He shifted his weight, sitting up straighter. "Maybe you're right. Losing so many people has left me terrified of it happening again. I hate that I can't save anyone or stop bad things from happening. Not irrevocably."

Sebastian squeezed his hand. "I know I asked for your help, but you don't have to save me from this curse. You don't have to take care of or worry about me. I know you still will," he added, cutting off James's protest. "But I can do the same for you. We're both scared. We're both helpless in the face of what this curse is taking from us. But I'm here for you, James. You can be afraid with me. You don't have to keep it all bottled up. And even if that changes nothing about our situation, it feels like something." He looked down. "To me, anyway."

"Me too." James held back fresh tears, then shook himself and let them fall. "It is something, and it helps to know you understand."

"Good." Sebastian pulled James close, hugging him to his chest.

James needed Sebastian's support and acceptance more than he'd thought. Not being alone with his fears allowed him to breathe again.

They went to bed after that. Sebastian led James upstairs, stripped him to his underwear, and curled up with him under the covers, skin to skin.

James let himself be soothed. He didn't try to pull himself out of his low mood or try to tell himself not to think about everything bothering him. He didn't lie to himself. He let it all sit there in his head, and Sebastian held him through it.

Sebastian's arms were tight around James, their legs tangled together. There was nothing sexual about it. The embrace was a different kind of desperate than they'd been with one another before. Sebastian clung to him like he was afraid James would disappear if he let go, and for some reason, that made James feel better. Sebastian needed him as much as he needed Sebastian. Who knew if they'd ever choose each other out in the real world, but here, trapped in this messed-up situation, they were everything to each other, and James was glad it was Sebastian by his side and no one else.

He was still afraid of losing Sebastian to some freak accident, still devastated he might not be there for Eli when he needed it, but he tried to find peace with his inability to control these things.

At some point, they both fell asleep. Later in the day, Sebastian got up and went to the kitchen. He came back to the room with hot cider and a tray of food.

They ate in front of the fire, sitting on the carpet in their underwear. Sebastian watched James closely and reminded him to eat more and finish his cider. Once the food was done, Sebastian led him to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"Want me to give you some privacy?" Sebastian asked, uncertainty leaving his voice hushed.

"No." James frowned at him like he should know better, and Sebastian cracked a smile.

"There's that prickly sweetness I like."

James wasn't sure what Sebastian meant but was too busy being pulled under the warm water to ask.

He was still raw, like his soul had been dragged over rough gravel, but he had room to let good things start seeping back in. It could be worse. Things weren't great, trapped here without a plan, but it wasn't all bad. Not when he had someone who understood him and took care of him. Someone who kissed him like he never wanted it to end.

Sebastian pressed James against the tiled wall, his tongue delving into James's mouth. He ran his hands over James, aligning their bodies so his hips pressed into James's stomach. "I want to make you feel good," he breathed in James's ear.

James ran his hands down Sebastian's back. "You do."

Sebastian took James's cock in his hand and stroked. "How's this?"

James moaned his approval.

Sebastian grabbed a bottle of lube he had hidden behind his shampoo. He squeezed a generous amount into his hand before returning it to James's waiting erection. "Are you going to let me take care of you?"

"Yes," James breathed, almost inaudible. He closed his eyes and swallowed. He would give Sebastian everything he had, let Sebastian be the one he leaned on, the one he trusted with all of him. He couldn't get through this without him.

"Good." Sebastian pressed his hard cock and James's together and stroked. "There you go, James." He trailed kisses along James's cheek to his mouth, and James shuddered at the perfect sweetness. "Yeah, just like that, babe," Sebastian crooned. "Let go for me."

With a whimper, James did as he was told. It felt good not to think or worry. To let Sebastian pleasure him and be the one holding him up.

Sebastian pressed his forehead against James's. Their breath mingled in a chorus of desperate pants. James sunk his fingers into Sebastian's wet curls and held on for dear life as Sebastian stroked their aligned cocks.

James came with a strangled moan. His cum spilled over Sebastian's dick, and soon, Sebastian was coming too, splattering against James's stomach.

The relaxed feeling that settled over James felt deep, like it was more than sexual satisfaction calming him. He leaned into Sebastian's arms and would have been fine with never moving again.

After, they curled up in bed.

"Do you like chocolate cake?" Sebastian asked.

James shifted to see him. "Who doesn't like chocolate cake?"

Sebastian raised a brow. "You must be feeling better if that incredulous tone is back." James frowned, and Sebastian booped him on the nose. "I'll make you a cake tomorrow."

And that's exactly what they did. They didn't discuss the spell, Miss Moo, or the shades. They assessed the apricots to see when would be best to make the next batch of jam. They made themselves sick on chocolate, eating gobs of icing and finishing off the carton of almond milk used for the cake in the form of hot cocoa so it wouldn't be left to spoil. They ate cake all day and picked vegetables in the garden to roast for dinner, then finished off the evening with a bottle of red wine and deep kisses in front of the fire.

It was almost perfect.