Chapter 18

After a dinner of leftover quiche and salad, they went to look for Selma's notes on transferring the curse.

"This is the library." Sebastian opened a door upstairs, at the end of the hall, past the study where they'd found the house plans.

"Holly fucking hell," James muttered into the cavernous dark space.

The library looked as large as the ballroom, which was situated beneath it. There were no windows on the outer walls, just shelves of books, floor to ceiling. Narrow skylights set along the sloping roof allowed moonlight to filter in, illuminating countless dust particles floating in the air. A shade peered down at them from behind the nearest section of glass.

The center of the room housed rows of waist-high bookshelves. A desk faced the doorway, with a leather couch and matching armchair tucked behind it. Unlit oil lamps were scattered on every available table.

Sebastian entered the room, his own oil lamp held aloft. "You'll never run out of things to read, that's for sure."

James spun in a circle. "Have these books all been here since the place was built?" The ones nearest them had cracked leather spines and looked at least eighty years old.

"Not all of them. Everyone adds to the collection." Sebastian led the way toward the back of the room. "There's a whole section of magazines that's pretty interesting. Everything from National Geographic to vintage porn."

"Right," James muttered, too distracted to care about explicit library content. "If your mom slipped Selma's transfer spell into a book, it's going to take ages to find."

"It's not in a book." Sebastian set his lamp down on a row of filing cabinets that made up an aisle in the middle of the room. "I've checked them."

James surveyed the vast room. "All of them?"

"Don't sound so skeptical. I went on a tear after getting trapped. Barely slept or ate. I was so determined to find a way out of here. I've flipped through each book. Shook them all out. Paid close attention to any of the ones about magic. Even checked the newspapers." He opened a drawer and pulled out a folder to show James clippings from the Moonlight Falls Tribune in 1996, the year after James was born. The cabinets must have been full of old articles, going back who knew how many years.

The top article was about an incident between a shade and a tourist. The local paper closed down in the early 2000s, so it was odd seeing Moonlight Falls events in print. James scanned the article. It was a familiar story: someone from out of town wanting to poke around supernatural creatures and getting scared when they poked back.

"Are there lots of articles like this?" James picked up the news clipping.

"About shades?" Sebastian raised his brows as if to say, come on. "I mean, it's the Moonlight Falls Tribune. They probably printed more words about shades than world news and politics combined. Why?"

"Shades have been acting up in town." James described the busted lights. "We were wondering if anything like it had happened before."

Sebastian took the article from James and glanced at it more closely. "There's plenty like this tourist mishap, but attacking lights—I don't remember seeing anything like that. You're welcome to search for yourself."

James was about to say he would, then remembered he couldn't get to town to share any useful stories he might find. Surely, the mayor had access to all this information, and she'd have firsthand memories of the eighties and nineties. The public library probably had an even better archive of Moonlight Falls's history. Besides, James had to focus on the more pressing problem of escaping this place.

"If you're sure Selma's instructions aren't in the library, why are we here?"

Sebastian put the folder away and opened a different drawer. "I just wanted to show you. Let you know you can come in here whenever. Grab something to read. I also wanted to give you an idea of how long I've spent looking for Selma's note." He selected a slightly newer-looking folder and set it on top of the cabinet. "Look, Stephen saved your article."

James scowled at the smiling picture of himself he was so sick of seeing. His face heated. "Why would he save a fluff piece like that?"

Sebastian snickered. "So touchy." He poked James in the side, and James shifted away. "Everyone stuck here has taken it upon themselves to keep a record of the town's history. Stephen started getting the Apple Valley News delivered once the Tribune was gone and kept everything they printed about Moonlight Falls or the people who lived here."

James closed the folder and returned it to the drawer. "Do you collect articles too?"

Sebastian raised a lazy shoulder. "Yeah. Might as well. Makes reading the paper feel purposeful. I think it's so whoever is stuck here next has access to as much local information as possible."

James tried not to think about someone being stuck here after he and Sebastian were gone. He didn't want the curse to outlive them and claim another life. There had to be a way to break it without catastrophic consequences. "Do you really think transferring the curse to a cow will work?"

"We won't know till we try." Sebastian picked up his lamp and headed back toward the room's entrance. "The energy imbalance requires life energy to stabilize. I don't see why it has to be a human life. From a magical perspective, life energy isn't fundamentally different between different species. Life is life as far as energy theory goes. You can look it up. There are plenty of books here on the topic. I figured the amount of energy in any large animal would be enough for the curse."

"Hm." James shut the library door behind them. "So where are we looking for the instructions then?"

"Mom's old room. Then, Selma's room. I'd come to terms with not having enough magic to transfer the curse before I searched either room and didn't look as thoroughly as I did with the library or the study, which we can check again if both bedrooms are dead ends."

"Should we check Selma's room first?" James asked as they walked around the landing. More shades peered down at them from the skylights over the stairs. "Isn't it more likely they're in there?"

"I don't think so. We know the instructions were discovered and moved in the mid-nineties when Stephen and Mom found out about the curse and were probably put away somewhere in 2009 after the curse was transferred to me. The instructions aren't going to be where Selma left them, and no one really goes into her old room. It hasn't had any new occupants since she died, like the other bedrooms have. I doubt my mom would have hidden the note in there, and I've checked all the obvious spots you'd think to put something back so it could be found again."

James had to admit he wasn't keen to poke around Selma's things after the teeth incident in the study, so he wasn't going to argue too hard, but one thing Sebastian had said struck him. "You don't think your mom hid the instructions? Just put them somewhere or misplaced them?"

Sebastian paused, turning to face him. "No, I don't think she hid or destroyed them. They're important for future Storms to have in case our family line dies out and we have to kidnap some poor soul to transfer the curse to like Selma worried we might." Sebastian scrunched his face like he'd smelled something awful. "Maybe the mailman was right to be scared of me. Not that I'd ever intentionally damn someone to this curse, but snatching a visitor to the property would be the only way to get someone unsuspecting to transfer the curse to."

James shivered at the thought. Being kidnapped by the creepy man living at Storm House was the kind of urban legend kids told each other when he was young. At least it seemed like no one in the family other than Selma was willing to do something that sinister.

Next to James's room was another green door leading to Sebastian's mom's old bedroom. Unlike Sebastian's teenage room, which he'd said had previously been Stephen's room, Samantha Storm's room hadn't been cleared out. It was an eighties time capsule, from the shoes by the door to the posters on the walls and magazines on the desk.

James was surprised Samantha hadn't done anything to the room in the years after leaving high school. She'd come back to Storm House since the eighties. Why not update the room or take her belongings with her? Though, the closer he looked, the more he could see why things were left behind. One of the shoes had a busted heel. The closet was empty except for what looked like a prom dress. "Did your mom stay in this room when you all visited Stephen?"

Sebastian nodded. "Yeah, not that she stayed over often. Mom usually dropped me off for the summer and drove out of town the same day. But she slept here the night they did the transfer spell. It was the last time she stayed at Storm House." He set the lamp on the desk and lit a candelabra on the bedside table before crouching to pull a shoebox from under the bed.

James hovered in the doorway.

"What have I told you about privacy?" Sebastian grumbled, reaching farther under the bed.

"Not to respect it."

Sebastian righted himself. His lips twisted. "Correct."

James pushed away his discomfort and began going through Samantha's things. The desk was full of papers but nothing useful. Unfolding notes from the woman's high school crushes made him frown.

"There's a reason I told you not to respect my privacy, you know." Sebastian wiped his dusty hands off on his pants. "I was trying to get you to snoop around the study and my old bedroom, hoping you'd read something tipping you off to what was going on here."

"Oh." James cringed. That made a lot of sense. "Sorry."

Sebastian shrugged. "Don't worry about it. You got there anyway."

They turned back to their searching. James opened another love note. "Couldn't we ask your mom where she left the instructions?"

"Tried that." Sebastian shoved a shoebox—which had contained nothing but well-worn shoes—back under the bed. "She didn't write me back. Any of the times."

James was shocked. "Have you seen her since being stuck here?"

"Nope." Sebastian's response came out clipped, not inviting further discussion.

James crushed the love letter in his hand. How could Sebastian's mom ignore his letters and not visit? She was the only person who knew what her son was going through. It was cruel any way he looked at it.

"Forget about it, James," Sebastian warned.

That wasn't possible, but James tried to act like he'd moved on.

His parents' deaths had devastated him when he was younger. Their loss still made him ache sometimes, and he'd thought it couldn't get worse than losing your parents as a child. He'd been wrong.

They had no luck that night but went to bed confident the instructions weren't in Samantha's old room. They'd left no dark corner uninspected.

James woke up relieved they weren't returning to the search immediately. He had a better idea of how daunting the task was and was increasingly afraid their efforts would be in vain. Samantha and Stephen Storm might not have meant to hide the instructions, but misplaced items could easily be lost forever.

James dressed in one of Stephen's baggy knit sweaters to stave off the chill that had settled over Storm House. The previous day's fine weather was gone, and Sebastian still hadn't given James his jacket back. Not that he'd asked.

He ran into his fellow prisoner a few minutes later in the downstairs hallway.

"Morning." Sebastian gave James a familiar sly smile. "You slept in again."

"It's not that late." James fidgeted. His jeans were less than comfortable after skipping the borrowed underwear. "It's not even ten."

"Suppose late is a relative term. I was just going to clean up the ballroom." Sebastian gestured down the hall. "I'm regretting leaving all those towels sitting around in the bathroom. The bloodstains will never come out now."

James followed Sebastian toward the ballroom. "You've been up doing laundry already?" James realized everything would have to be hand-washed and cringed inwardly.

Sebastian looked over his shoulder. "Doing laundry, and I've fed the chickens."

It was enough to make James feel lazy. He'd have to offer to pitch in more.

They paused in the ballroom doorway, the busted frame painfully obvious.

"Sorry." James rubbed the back of his neck. "I can fix that for you."

Sebastian patted his arm. "Thanks." He strode off to the middle of the room and picked up his purple robe, shrugging it on over his T-shirt and jeans.

The knife and bowl stained with dried blood were still by the piano, and the handcuffs were discarded near the leg Sebastian had been bound to. The whole ritual felt like a fever dream.

"I can't believe any of this actually happened." James picked up the cuffs.

Sebastian retrieved the other items. "Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it."

James's face went hot. He looked away. "Sure, we both did. Until we found out how badly it went."

Sebastian tutted. "So negative. It was still one of the most thrilling nights of my life."

James stole a glance at Sebastian but couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.

"You can keep those." Sebastian pointed at the cuffs. "I'm throwing this bowl out. Really wish you hadn't picked a wooden one. I guess I can keep the knife if I sterilize it." He began walking out of the room.

James hurried after him, brandishing the cuffs. "I don't want to keep these. They're yours."

Sebastian didn't turn around. "I've never used them before. They were a joke gift from my last birthday with actual friends."

"And you brought handcuffs home with you when your uncle was sick?"

"No. My mom had movers pack up my dorm room and ship all my stuff back after I got trapped." He turned abruptly, looking down at James as they almost collided. "Keep them. You seemed to know how to use them." He winked and turned away, continuing down the hall and disappearing into the kitchen, leaving James alone.

He swiped a hand over his face. His stubble was longer than he usually let it grow, and it itched. The cuffs felt heavy in his palm. Sebastian seemed to be taunting him. Did he want James to use the cuffs on him again? Did James have any interest in the idea?

Images ran through his head, and the sudden perkiness of his cock suggested he did, even if restraints weren't his usual thing. He wasn't that bold. James would have rather left the cuffs with Sebastian and let him decide if he wanted the two of them to play around.

James decided to forget about it. He could deal with the problem of what he and Sebastian wanted from each other later.

With the handcuffs stored safely out of the way in his room, James made his way to the kitchen, where Sebastian was pulling muffins out of the oven. It was beginning to look like he baked something every day. The whole room smelled wonderfully like cinnamon. There wasn't a dirty dish in sight or even flour on the countertop. Sebastian had cooked and cleaned up after himself, in addition to the other chores he'd mentioned, all before James had started his day.

"What have you got there?" James inched closer, his stomach grumbling in response to the tempting smell.

"Apple muffins." Sebastian set them on the butcher block.

"They look great."

"Thanks." Sebastian fiddled with the oven mitt in his hands. "How do you feel about making some jam today?"

"Overjoyed," James deadpanned.

"Jackass." Sebastian swatted him with the oven mitt.

James couldn't resist grinning. "I guess we won't be gardening in the drizzle."

Sebastian waved dismissively out the window. "We could. It's not raining that hard, but I need to get these apricots under control. You can keep searching for Selma's instructions instead if you want."

James was disappointed by the suggestion. The search was beginning to stress him out. "Not really. I'd prefer to make jam."

"Oh, how quickly you've fallen." Sebastian reached out and caressed James's stubble-lined cheek, his smile turning wicked.

James swallowed. "I see the flirting is back."

Sebastian patted his cheek and turned away. "Is that a complaint?"

"No," James said carefully, trying to ignore the pleasurable flutter in his chest. "Just an observation."

After James ate breakfast, he helped Sebastian sort and wash the fruit. They needed apricots that were ripe but not too ripe and also some that were slightly underripe. Sebastian explained this was key to getting both a good flavor and a firm set to the jam. James took his word for it.

Once the fruit was selected, Sebastian weighed it on a kitchen scale and then weighed an equal measure of sugar. It turned out that making jam was pretty simple. The only other ingredients were lemon juice from some of Sebastian's fresh lemons and some water. But before they threw it all together, Sebastian brought out a box full of jars.

"Want to help wash?" he asked, setting the box by the sink.

James rolled up his sleeves. "Sure, that's a task I've actually got under control."

"Great." Sebastian helped himself to the remaining coffee in the French press. "If I never wash another dish, it will be too soon."

James would gladly wash all the dishes for Sebastian, even though he wasn't fond of the chore. At least he'd been spoiled with a dishwasher the past six years.

As he cleaned the jam jars, James marveled at how good it felt doing homey tasks with Sebastian. He'd never thought doing dishes would make him wistful, but it made him want a partner to share all of life's little things with.

Sebastian checked the fire in the stove, explaining how they had to sterilize the jars. James never would have imagined this scene when he'd first walked up to Sebastian's door. Sebastian was relaxed, full of easy smiles and dimples, and worlds away from the erratic man who'd snapped at James for not knowing why the lights didn't work.

They laughed as they quartered the fruit and discarded the pits. James wasn't even sure what about. He just kept catching Sebastian's smile like it was contagious, light, joyous emotions bubbling out of him.

Sebastian teased James for abandoning his perma-frown, and James couldn't find it in himself to be grumpy about it. He liked amusing Sebastian and gave him plenty to shake his head at with his ignorance of making anything from scratch. James couldn't seem to get over the amount of sugar they were using.

"It's key to a long shelf life," Sebastian said as he poured four pounds of sugar into the simmering fruit.

"Sure." James understood the concept. He'd just never really thought about it before. "But what are you going to do with fourteen jars of jam? It's a lifetime supply, and you'll have more fruit next year."

Sebastian snorted, amused as he stirred the sugar through the mixture. "I swear, you'll find anything alarming, James."

"I just like to have answers," he grumbled as if he weren't holding back a face-splitting grin.

"This isn't even all the jam we need to make. Once more of the fruit ripens, we've got another batch. Not to mention what's still on the trees." He glanced at James for a reaction, and James dutifully widened his eyes. Sebastian shook his head. "I give the jam away. I mean, I keep a jar or two for myself each year, but the rest goes to Beth to sell in her souvenir shop. Tourists love bespoke stuff like this from small towns. California's spookiest jam, grown and handcrafted on a shade-infested property." Sebastian waved his arms around in a stereotypical depiction of a ghost, making a woo sound.

James snorted. "Is that really how Beth markets it?"

"Yep. The label she puts on it has eyes on the back to make it look like an orange ghost is trapped inside the jar, peering out." Sebastian dug around in one of the cupboards until he found an empty jar and tossed it to James. Sure enough, a logo bearing the town's name and the phrase "California's Spookiest Jam" was plastered to the front, with narrow black eyes on the back.

They took turns stirring the bubbling jam mixture and skimming the top. The kitchen warmed steadily from the oven and sweet, steaming jam, causing James to pull off his sweater and Sebastian to discard his robe.

"Right, I think we're good," Sebastian said when his wind-up egg timer sounded. "Go get the plate from the mud room."

"Why is there a plate in the mud room?"

"It's supposed to be cold." Sebastian pushed James toward the back door like he wasn't moving quickly enough. "Couldn't exactly put it in the fridge, could I?"

James did as he was told, the feeling of Sebastian's hands lingering on his shoulders.

Plate retrieved, Sebastian spooned a glob of jam onto it and waited for it to cool, then ran his finger through it. "Perfect." He licked his finger clean.

James tracked the progress of Sebastian's tongue. He was positive Sebastian didn't need to lick his top lip that thoroughly. He didn't call him on it though.

The jam stayed in two separate blobs on the plate, meaning it was ready to set. They retrieved the jars from the oven and ladled out the jam, careful not to fill them too far but also careful not to underfill them. James found it fiddly and didn't want any of the jars he did to burst or spoil, but figured if he copied Sebastian close enough, it would be fine.

Sebastian reached out to grab James's wrist. "Careful, don't spill."

"I wasn't," James said as if Sebastian hadn't just saved him from making a mess of his last jar.

Sebastian patted his forearm. "No, of course not."

James's cheeks flushed. He liked it when Sebastian touched him. Sebastian must have noticed because he started touching him more frequently the longer they were in the kitchen. He guided James around the room with pushes and pulls, leaning into him when James amused him and swatting at him playfully.

By the time the jam jars were done boiling to create the necessary seal and set aside to cool, James found himself boxed in against the counter and not sure how he'd gotten into the position. Not that he was complaining.

Sebastian was an inch away from pressing his body against James. He reached behind him, grabbed something, and leaned in until his breath tickled James's ear. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

James had his hands clamped firmly on the counter, unsure whether he could move even if he wanted to. "Yes."

Sebastian leaned back enough to look down at James. He raised a jam-covered finger between them. "Taste?"

James's pulse pounded. "From your finger?"

"Only if you want." Sebastian gave his best wicked smile.

James couldn't resist, not when Sebastian's hands felt so good casually brushing against him. He leaned forward, taking Sebastian's finger into his mouth, and sucked the sweetness off.

Sebastian slowly pulled his finger out. He placed his other hand on James's hip. "You like that?"

"Yes." James was surprised by how desperate the word sounded. His eyes seemed to be glued to Sebastian's. It felt like a loss when Sebastian's attention flicked away.

Sebastian's gaze settled back where James needed it, finger covered with a fresh offering of jam. "Have some more." Sebastian pressed his body flush against James, not waiting for James to take his finger into his mouth. Instead he smeared the jam over James's lips and licked his finger clean.

James's mouth parted involuntarily. Sebastian angled his head down and licked the jam from James's lips. James groaned as Sebastian's tongue caressed him, dipping into his mouth and chasing all the sugary goodness away.

Sebastian hummed in pleasure. "So sweet."

James wanted to laugh at the ridiculous line, but he made a desperate sound. He took hold of Sebastian's waist and brought their mouths together in an apricot-flavored kiss. Soft lips and hungry movements opened James up, and all he wanted was more.

Sebastian didn't hesitate to take what James was offering. A hand found its way to the back of James's head, holding him in place, as Sebastian's tongue took James for everything he was worth. James liked this kiss even more than their previous ones. He couldn't get enough of the possessive way Sebastian touched him.

Sebastian rubbed against him shamelessly, showing James how hard he was. James panted into his mouth. He was just as hard and needier than he'd ever been.

Sebastian pulled James's bottom lip between his teeth, biting softly. It made James dizzy. Sebastian didn't linger. He moved his kisses along James's jaw and down his neck before sinking to his knees. He took hold of James's hips and looked up. "May I?" His lips twisted, a sly smile saying he had no doubt what James's answer would be.

James should have hesitated. Should have remembered why he was resisting this, but he couldn't. There was no reason to deny his attraction to Sebastian. He was already attached, already in trouble with how much he'd fallen for him. He might as well enjoy it.

"Yes, please," James managed to say. He ran a hand through Sebastian's loose curls. "I'm negative across the board and haven't been with anyone since my last test."

"Same." Sebastian bit his lip. His fingers flexed on James's hips. "A doctor comes out to give me a physical every year, do all the tests, and I'm sure you've deduced that I haven't been with anyone in years."

James continued to play with Sebastian's hair. "It's been a while for me too."

Sebastian cocked a brow as if to ask really?

James swallowed. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, but it was true. "Please, Sebastian."

"Yeah." Sebastian's eyes flashed with a devilish glint. "I want this so fucking bad."

His attention shifted from James's face, sliding back down his body. He unfastened James's jeans, freeing his cock. "No underwear." His eyes darted upward like James had surprised him. Then he leaned forward to press a kiss below James's belly button, following the hair trailing downward.

James's pants were tugged down to his knees. Sebastian's hands ran up his exposed thighs. James's whole boy tingled with anticipation, every touch sending shivers through him. Knowing what was coming unraveled him, his breathing harsher than it should be.

Sebastian took hold of the base of James's cock and licked his tip, swirling his tongue around and around. James bit his lip to keep from making a truly embarrassing sound. He gripped the counter with one hand to steady himself, leaving the other tangled in Sebastian's hair.

James feared Sebastian would tease him mercilessly, make him squirm and beg. James would have begged without complaint, anything to get more of the man kneeling before him. He would have let Sebastian have him any way he wanted, endured any amount of teasing or denial if it pleased Sebastian.

James sucked in a surprised gasp as Sebastian swallowed his cock all the way in one eager motion, no begging required. James's cock hit the back of Sebastian's throat, and Sebastian gagged before pulling back.

"Take your time." James ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair.

Sebastian shot a challenging look at him and hollowed his cheeks. James's hand tightened on Sebastian's silky curls, and his knees threatened to give out on him.

"Fuck, that feels good."

Sebastian moaned, bobbing his head with the kind of enthusiasm James had forgotten was possible.

"So good," James murmured. "Oh yeah, just like that."

Sebastian soaked up all his words like he couldn't get enough, making needy sounds and doubling down on his efforts whenever James told him what he liked. And he liked all of it.

"You look so hot on your knees, Sebastian. So pretty. Oh fuck, I'm going to be thinking about this forever."

Sebastian looked up. There was something almost vulnerable in the way his brows pulled together, his eyes bright and full of unrestrained lust. He didn't seem able to look away as he continued to suck, bobbing his head, lips stretched so beautifully.

That look was it for James. "Gonna come, Sebastian. Too good," he groaned as his hips twitched. Sebastian sucked harder, still looking up at him, and James's pleasure tore out of him.

Sebastian didn't release him, even after he'd swallowed everything James had to give. He continued sucking and licking until James whimpered, oversensitive and possibly about to fall over.

Sebastian pulled back. His ragged breathing was as loud as the thudding pulse in James's ears. Sebastian kept his eyes cast downward, in stark contrast to how he couldn't look away from James only moments ago.

James ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair until Sebastian leaned in to rest his face against James's thigh. The contact felt good, a closeness James yearned for. After a long moment, he pulled Sebastian up.

Sebastian hunched forward, tucking his head into James's neck and wrapping his arms around his waist. James's chest tightened at the intimacy of the embrace, and he pulled Sebastian close.

"Your turn," James murmured, trailing a hand up and down Sebastian's back, caressing the beautiful lines of his body.

"You don't have to," Sebastian whispered against James's neck.

"I know, but I want to."

Sebastian pulled back, his cheeks red.

James pulled up his pants and tucked himself away, keeping his focus on Sebastian. "How does that sound?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, maybe in an effort to pretend he wasn't blushing harder. "Sounds good to me."

James turned them around, pushing Sebastian against the counter, and dropped to his knees. He undid Sebastian's jeans, finding his underwear wet with precum, the large, dark spot giving away how turned on Sebastian had been while sucking him off. "Hell, that's hot."

Sebastian bit his lip, eyes wide. The look on his face suggested he was embarrassed to be seen like this. It made James want to give Sebastian everything, spoil him, show him it was okay to be this open with him.

He ran a hand over the dampened fabric, feeling the hardness beneath.

Sebastian squirmed at the touch, and his legs trembled. "James, please." The words came out raw, desperate.

James pulled Sebastian's underwear down, revealing the most beautiful, swollen pink cock he'd ever seen. Sebastian leaked for him, precum beading at his slit and running over his glistening head. James gave Sebastian a firm stroke, eliciting a groan from Sebastian that made it seem like the simple tug had given him everything he needed. James loved that sound. He wanted to hear it again, every day, always.

He leaned in to lick Sebastian's cockhead, lapping up his arousal. Both of Sebastian's hands found James's hair and took hold. More moisture leaked onto James's lips as another moan left Sebastian's. No longer able to resist, James took Sebastian into his mouth, sucking firmly. He wanted to drown in Sebastian's pleasure, fill himself up with it, suck and taste until he couldn't breathe.

"Oh god, oh god," Sebastian whimpered above him. "James!"

Sebastian's cock pulsed against his tongue, cum flooding his mouth sooner than he'd expected. James pushed past his momentary surprise and worked Sebastian through his orgasm, sucking hard as cum dribbled down his chin.

He pulled off and wiped his mouth, bumping his sore nose, which he'd been able to ignore more easily up until now.

"Here." Sebastian handed him a dish towel to wipe up. As soon as James grabbed it, Sebastian began readjusting his clothes.

James rose and tossed the cloth into a hamper in the mud room. When he turned back, Sebastian was facing away, inspecting the jam jars.

"God, that was good." James didn't hold back his satisfaction. He wanted Sebastian to know how much he'd liked getting him off.

"Yeah." Sebastian laughed, but the sound warbled at the end. It was nothing like his usual carefree giggle.

James placed a hand on the small of Sebastian's back. "Come here." He turned Sebastian around and pulled him into a kiss. Sebastian went willingly, but James felt him trembling.

Sebastian loved to tease and scandalize James, but now that they'd finally acted on his explicit suggestions, he seemed fragile. Sebastian had been alone for a long time, and it made sense if sex was different for him now than it had been the last time he'd had it. His shy reaction and softly returned kisses suggested he was overwhelmed or caught off guard. James wanted to show his acceptance of whatever Sebastian might be feeling, even if they didn't talk about it.

They kissed and held each other in the sweet-scented kitchen, and James forgot he was there for any other reason than the ache in his heart.