Chapter 63

63

Daniel knew Gunnar was beyond pissed at him, as Miguel badgered Gunnar into taking a walk. Talking. He might very well have destroyed their friendship beyond repair at this point. Regrets were hard to ignore. He had misjudged.

The woman Gunnar loved could have paid the price for that. Gunnar would never forgive him that. Daniel would probably never forgive himself that either.

And then there was Heather.

That woman…hurt to even think about now.

He hadn't ever viewed Heather as disposable. That was so far from the truth. But Mac had been clear—and that man had a mind like a razor, he wouldn't have misheard—she thought Daniel was the enemy.

She feared him. Mac had said Daniel terrified her. Told Daniel to stay the hell away from her, no matter what. Or Mac would rip his head from his body. The other man had looked like he meant it too.

She was terrified.

That was the last thing he had ever wanted.

"Dan?" a voice said behind him. Daniel turned. Elliot stood there.

"Yeah?"

"I have a copy of the video. From…Heather. It's not much, but it's a good place to start. Madison is sending it to your phone. It's going into evidence, but I'm locking access to it. I want to protect her privacy as much as I can. Bit like the closing the barn after the horses are all out, but I have to do something. We can watch it in here. Rafe arranged it with Vince. Dom's already in there, but I thought you'd want to see."

Jake was with him. He took Daniel's chair outside Heather's door. "I volunteered to do guard duty tonight. It was either me or Lake, and since…Heather's family, well, I thought I was probably a better choice, considering."

Daniel nodded. This was a damned clusterfuck, and it was his fault. And he didn't have a clue how to make it right.

Thirty minutes later, he felt physically ill. At what Heather had said about him, in her most vulnerable moments. She truly believed he would use her that way. Believed that she didn't matter .

Especially to him.

"Am I like that?" he asked Elliot, one of his closest friends on earth. One of the few he thought really knew him. "Do people really think I am that kind of bastard?"

Like his father.

His father was that kind of bastard. Daniel had always known that. His father didn't care about anyone other than himself.

"I don't know." Elliot rewound the video. "Do I think you are intense and determined to finish this, yes? Do I think you deliberately made a decision that you knew would put her in harm's way? Hell no. I think you made a mistake, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have made the same decisions considering your options. But convincing her of that, especially coming on the heels of her suspension and what Stillman's crew did?—"

"It makes her sick to even look at me." Daniel couldn't put into words how that made him feel right now. "I never wanted to hurt her. Ever."

Elliot was silent for a long moment. "I know you have a thing for her, Dan. It's been rather hard to miss for someone who knows you well. What she said probably hurts on multiple levels. Whether you want to admit it or not."

A thing? He wouldn't call it that. He'd found the woman fascinating from the moment she had smirked at him, standing there next to Elliot in Daniel's office. At first, he'd thought she was Zoey. Until he looked closer. He had been looking at Heather ever since.

Yet looking at him literally sickened her. "Why her? Why did you bring her to Major Crimes?"

"She was the second pick, after Lake. And she had the skills I wanted. I didn't realize who she was until Eastman. Nothing more complicated than that. I don't regret it. And if I hadn't put her in Major Crimes—she was still on her way here. After seeing her personnel jacket, I wanted her here. She is one of the best. Or…she was."

"I think we destroyed her. The TSP. Kimball. Wilson. Me. " Even including himself in that list with those two bastards. But that was where he belonged.

He would never forget the bruises on her face.

Or the way she looked in that video, the way she sounded as she told one of Daniel's closest friends in the world that Daniel made her sick and that he had used her. That Daniel didn't care if she lived or died as long as he got what he wanted in the end. The look on her face as she'd basically collapsed in Mac's arms—it would haunt Daniel forever.

And he didn't know how to make it right.

"How do I make it up to her, El?"

Elliot just shook his head. "That's for you to figure out. But for now—I have people on scene of the warehouse fire. In the morning, I want you down there. See what is left. It is expected to burn for a few days, though. It might take us a while to get inside. Heather is the only one who can give us something to go on right now. And that isn't happening at the moment."

"What is on that zip drive she had?"

"I still have people trying to extract the data. People I trust." Elliot looked at him, a hard expression in his green eyes. "It won't be entered into evidence until that is finished."

"Haldyn?" She was still on medical leave, but she was at the Barratts' place. Probably worrying herself sick over her closest friend in the world. Jarrod was with her now. Jarrod had taken a month's leave to take care of her. They probably only had a few hours before Haldyn showed up to get Powell herself.

"Haldyn and Gabby. Brynna's there to help if needed. Haldyn signed off on it. She'll enter it into the system after the drive is duplicated. We have clear chain of custody established. A TSP detective turned it over to an attorney on film, who turned it over immediately to me. Mac didn't have time or opportunity to alter it. So it'll hold up in court. But with the way things have been disappearing…"

"Heather's clothes?"

"I sent them to the lab with Dom personally."

Daniel nodded. Then asked the question he hadn't wanted to ever have to ask. "Were there any signs of sexual assault? Any…DNA?"

"Nikkie Jean said no signs of rape or sexual assault. But Heather has some definite bruising on her chest. Heather told Nikkie Jean they ‘didn't hurt her that way again.' Her exact words to Nikkie Jean. But they were planning to—she said as much, and Powell said so, as well. We will have to wait for Heather to wake before we get more details."

"Will she be able to give a statement?" Daniel asked. He was itching to get back out there. Where he could watch over her. The Barratt-Handley guards on each end of the hall just didn't feel like they would ever be enough.

"I don't know. It depends. She was definitely in shock in the video. Traumatized, after years of being traumatized by the TSP." Elliot's fury and disgust was there in his eyes, on his face. "I'm not sure she will be able to give us anything at all. We're not going to push her, either, Dan. We just aren't. Nikkie Jean believes that if we push her now, Heather is going to shut down completely. That woman is on her last reserves. I don't want to be the one to shove her off that ledge."

"We need to know what happened. How else are we going to catch these bastards?" Daniel fought the frustration. Every time they came close to getting something to go on—everything was destroyed.

And it cost more and more each time.

"We'll know more in the morning. When Heather wakes. I want to be there when she's interviewed."

"I'll be here. I owe her that much."

And so much more.