Chapter 16

Victoria sat in the parlour with her stepmother, drinking tea. Lady Norwood rarely asked Victoria to join her for tea; usually, her stepmother had tea with other ladies of the ton, and during those visits, Victoria usually remained either in the kitchens—taking the place of the maid who would be in the parlour—or else out of sight.

As her stepmother had once explained, the women of the ton would be dangerous to a young, sheltered girl like Victoria. Perhaps, now that Victoria had been introduced to society, her stepmother's thoughts had changed.

"How did you enjoy Lord Ardenridge's picnic?" her stepmother asked, smiling over her teacup.

Victoria flushed. Her stepmother could not possibly know what had occurred on the bench with Lord Bedford, but that was—naturally—the first place where Victoria's thoughts went. "It was lovely," Victoria said. "Thank you for allowing me to attend."

Lady Norwood waved a dismissive hand. "There is no need for gratitude. It is only proper that a young, unwed lady should attend such events. You are on the marriage mart, after all."

Victoria bit her lip and nodded. Her stepmother had told her that she must find love, but Victoria had admittedly neglected that task. Indeed, she had seldom thought of love since being introduced to the ton. Her days were more often spent thinking about Lord Bedford and the new, passionate world that he was willing to open for her.

He was not a man who would be disposed to marriage, though. She knew that, but she had never thought much about marriage with him. Instead, she spent her days wondering if he might be willing to see her still and teach her for a while longer. In truth, Lord Bedford's attentions provided a compelling reason not to seek love. If Victoria were wed, she knew that she would be unable to keep letting Lord Bedford teach her.

"Did you find any potential suitors?" her stepmother asked. "Lord Ardenridge is quite handsome."

"He was nice," Victoria said.

"Only nice?" Her stepmother laughed lightly. "Surely, you can say more about him than that. I have heard that he is quite taken with you."

Victoria took a small sip of her tea, vying for time to articulate an answer. What else could she say about Lord Ardenridge? He was polite and nice. Victoria had only spoken to him twice, though. That was hardly sufficient time to know much about a man, much less to love him. She did not imagine that he knew her any better than she did him, either.

If anything, he had likely found Victoria to be quite dull, given how hesitant she had been to contribute to conversations when she knew that she was not as knowledgeable about the ton's ways as she ought to be.

"He is a poet," Victoria said hesitantly. "We discussed some of his works."

She recalled that mostly because he had seemed strangely dispassionate for a poet. Victoria was often drawn to people who were passionate about their art; there was a certain look about them, one which she knew well from the many playwrights who frequented the theatre. She had seen those writers—bright-eyed and flush-faced, enthusiastically gesturing and defending the brilliance of their art—and she had witnessed none of that joy when Lord Ardenridge described his poetic endeavours.

"He is a very mild-mannered man," Victoria added, taking care with her tone.

She did not think poorly of Lord Ardenridge for not being so expressive with his passions, but she did not think that they would have any meaningful connection, which Lady Norwood seemed to imply when she mentioned that he was taken with Victoria.

"A sensitive gentleman is a rare find," Lady Norwood said, "and a very desirable one. Many women are not so fortunate to have gentle husbands."

Victoria blinked, a little uncertain of what her stepmother meant by that. She knew that marriages were sometimes unhappy, and she supposed that Lord Ardenridge was kind. However, he was also rather …Victoria struggled to find a kind way to say what she meant, but the only word that came to mind was boring. She would never say that, of course, but she felt it.

"He is gentle," Victoria agreed, trying to be diplomatic. "I imagine that he must have many young ladies vying for his hand in marriage, though."

"It does not matter how many ladies might desire him," Lady Norwood said. "I have heard from his mother that he is quite besotted with you. You are a fortunate young lady to have gained the interest of a kind man so quickly!"

They barely knew one another. Victoria thought of their single, shared dance. It had been fine, but it was not notable enough for her to recall anything specific about it. The picnic had left a little more of an impression, but that experience was easily forgotten when she thought about the passionate encounter that she had with Lord Bedford.

"I am fortunate," Victoria said.

"It will be a good match, too," her stepmother continued. "Lord Ardenridge comes from a respected family, and he is quite wealthy. He will provide you with a stable life."

Stable seemed to be synonymous with boring; Victoria noted that with no small amount of guilt. Lord Ardenridge was a perfectly acceptable young man, yet her thoughts were entirely consumed with Lord Bedford, who was seemingly not an acceptable young man.

"I suppose I shall learn the extent of his interest in due time," Victoria said.

"You will not need to wait very long," Lady Norwood said. "Men propose quickly so that their woman does not get swept off her feet by someone else."

"Truly?"

"Yes." Lady Norwood smiled. "I am certain that you can expect a proposal from Lord Ardenridge soon."

***

Victoria lay in bed that night with her stepmother's words ringing in her ears like church bells. Perhaps Victoria had misunderstood the situation between herself and Lord Bedford. If her stepmother was correct, if men proposed quickly in the hopes of keeping the objects of their desires, did it not seem reasonable to believe that Lord Bedford might soon propose?

Would Victoria accept if he did? She tried to imagine being wed to him. Victoria knew that some rakes married, but she also knew that such men seldom ceased their rakish ways once bound by matrimony. Victoria enjoyed the thought of spending more time with Lord Bedford and learning more from him. Did she want to marry him, though?

I have not given thought to if Lady Constance marries the rake, Victoria thought.

Perhaps Lady Constance would. If Victoria wrote a new villain for her piece, she could conclude her play with a marriage between Lady Constance and her rake. Despite the parallels between her situation and that of her heroine, however, Victoria needed to remember that she and Lady Constance were not one and the same. She could not be as bold as her heroine, even if she wanted to be.

Victoria bit her lip and shifted in the bed. She carefully spread her legs and let a hand drift lower past her hips. Would it be possible for her to cause the same sensations that Lord Bedford had? She spread her legs wider and raised her hips so she could adjust her nightgown. Victoria drew a shuddering breath as the cold air of night washed over her bare skin. Carefully, she placed a finger on her ankle and drew it up her calf. She tried to keep her movements slow and sensuous just as he had.

"And what will happen if you are caught, Victoria?" she whispered, imagining that it was Lord Bedford asking the question.

She remembered his intense, dark eyes on her and brought her hand slowly up the sensitive skin of her inside thigh. A shiver tore through her, but there was no sign of that dull, delicious ache that Lord Bedford had inspired between her legs. Victoria forced down the lump in her throat as she tried to recall all the tangled sensations that she felt when he touched her.

She remembered tingling all over. She remembered even the caresses along her legs filling her with such a sense of excitement that it seemed impossible to bear. At present, she felt only the smallest whisper of those fierce sensations. Without Lord Bedford, her touches simply did not inspire the same feelings.

With a frown, Victoria withdrew her hand. She tilted her head back and frowned at the dark ceiling. "Lady Ardenridge," she murmured.

She tried to imagine Lord Ardenridge's hands on her, but it was difficult to imagine that man being so passionate with her. He seemed too mild and disinterested, only polite and quiet. Victoria sighed. If Lord Ardenridge proposed, she would be obliged to agree; she knew that. Lady Norwood would be disappointed if Victoria refused to marry that respectable man.

Admittedly, Victoria doubted that Lady Norwood would be pleased if she married Lord Bedford either, but perhaps, Victoria could provide a good reference for him. Maybe she could persuade her stepmother that Lord Bedford was really a good man.

"Lady Bedford," Victoria mused.

The title awakened something deep within her. She imagined the future that they might have together. Lord Bedford could teach her in the evenings, and she could pen her plays in the day. They could visit the theatre together—patronize the theatre, even! Victoria smiled. Perhaps Lord Bedford would be willing to provide the theatre troupe with new costumes and sets. He could improve all the troupe's lives!

Even better, Lord Bedford already knew of her love for the theatre, so he would surely let her remain friends with the rest of the theatre troupe. She could invite Loralie for tea and to the beautiful balls with all the lords and ladies of the ton! Victoria sighed. She needed to be reasonable and rational about the situation. Lord Bedford was a rake, and she had been warned. It was so easy to ignore the warnings, though.

"Perhaps," Victoria mused to the darkness, "I can redeem him."

She did not know if something like that was possible, but if it were, Lord Bedford was certainly a man worth redeeming.